January 10, 2001
The night before last I dreamed that I committed suicide by drowning. I was with two men, one who might have been my father, another who might have been my son. We were standing waist deep in water, next to a row boat, similar to ones I went fishing in with my father when I was a child. My son tied a rope to my ankle, tying the other end to the back of a small boat, and I submerged down into the water until I was floating just above the bottom of the lake. I lay there quietly, watching, and wondering to myself if my life would flash before my eyes. It did not. I was aware that soon I would take a deep breath, and then I would drown. I felt very peaceful.
I wonder if this was a baptism.