On January 29, 2000, my best friend Sam  and I set off for a 5 day Caribbean cruise to Grand Cayman and Cozumel, sailing out of Tampa on the Carnival Tropicale. Unfortunately, the week before we left it snowed, all over the East Coast.  It was nice, in a way, to have a nasty East Coast storm to escape to the sunny Caribbean from, but it completely shut down the Atlanta airport, which was bad because Sam and I were supposed to fly on Delta through, naturally, Atlanta.  So, Sam gets us rebooked, me from Philly on US Air, and him from Pittsburgh on United.

Saturday morning, bright and early, I set out for the airport, picked up my new ticket from Delta in Terminal E, and trotted with my bag across the entire damn Philadelphia International Airport to US Air in Terminal B.  I get stopped by a security guard who insists I have a metal T-shaped object in my luggage, which I insist I don’t (I later discovered that what the X-Ray machine was picking up was the metallic corkscrew with the nice metal crosspiece and the lovely cylindrical metal sheath which my parents had bought Sam for Christmas and I’d forgotten I was carrying).  Then I get to the US Air desk and find out that Delta never confirmed my reservation with US Air even though they ticketed me, and I just barely got a seat.  But, I got past that little adventure and made it safely to Tampa.

In Tampa Sam and I board the ship, and we set sail down around the Florida Keys.  Just before dinner we pass the 9 Mile Bridge, which, as always, is pretty impressive.  Sam was particularly taken by it.  And yes, it was complete with pelicans.  Then we went up to the casino for complimentary rum swizzles.  They’re actually pretty good.  I think it’s grapefruit juice and maybe orange mixed with the rum.  I did quite a bit of sampling of alcohol on the cruise.  I tried that, a pina colada, which is quite good, a yellow bird (rum, caracao, orange juice, and possibly either grapefruit and/or pineapple juice) which I didn't particularly like—too strong on the alcohol for my taste--and an unfrozen lime dacquiri, which just isn’t worth it.  Sam also tried a whiskey sour, which he said was actually good, and one of our tablemates tried a Manhattan but didn’t like it.

At dinner we met our tablemates, Holly and Darryl, a married couple about our age with 5 year old twins and an 18 month old who were celebrating their 5th wedding anniversary.  They were very nice, even if they represented pretty much everything Sam and I aren’t and don’t want to be right now.  I admit, I was fairly disappointed because I wanted a larger table, but Attila, our waiter, explained that it was easier to keep people of similar ages together.  I think they easily could have filled a table with people of our age (there were two other couples our age in the seating), but it’s probably just as well, because they were all young marrieds, and I think it would have made Sam and I feel out of place.  Personally, I like tables with an age mix, but I can see Carnival's point.

In any case, Attila  was absolutely fabulous.  He got to know us very well, very quickly, suggesting things we’d like, and even bringing out things without prompting for us to try (that was a big benefit of being on second seating—the kitchen didn’t have to save anything for the next seating).  The food was mostly southern-ish, lots of shrimp and trout and such, but they had very good vegetarian dishes, and always a nice beef dish.  Sam almost always had the surf-and-turf of the day, and I either veggied/pastaed or did beef.  The waiter got my vegetarian proclivities pegged right a way and always commented on the veggie entree, which was really nice and helpful.  My big objection was with the desserts.  Most nights they had a big dessert, like baked Alaska or Cherries Jubilee, but no alternative if you didn’t like Baked Alaska or Cherries Jubilee, which I don’t particularly—I would much rather have had my standard cheese which wasn’t generally available.  The show with the big desserts was quite impressive.  The waiters not only paraded with the desserts, they sang and danced.  They did the Macarena, and sang God Bless America and O Sol Mio.  One of the waiters a few tables over would get up on a chair and dance.  It was really funny.  The last night, the ladies at that table had him get up on a chair and dance while they put his tips in his belt.  He was completely hammiing it up.  It was a scream.

The day after we sailed we spent at sea.  I got up and went and sat in the sun on the top deck for the morning and read.  Very pleasant.  Then after lunch I caught a bit of the pool games.  Really crazy things.  One of them involved three ladies seeing how much fruit they could amass for point value.  There were a bunch of apples and oranges for 10 points each, some bananas for 20, a cantaloupe for 30, and one pineapple for 40.  The trick was, they couldn’t hold any of it in their hands.  It’s amazing how much a skinny person can hold in farily skimpy bikini, but it was the large woman in the more modest one piece that won.

The one thing I really didn’t like about the days at sea was I felt the activities were very limited, which was mostly due to the fact the the Tropicale is a pretty small ship by current standards (about 1,000 passengers), and her activities crew was a cruise director, a social director, and 5 dancers, and about 3 of those 7 actually actively ran activities.  Bingo was the one constant, and I don’t play.  They only did one general participation trivia contest (2 evening game show types, but your name had to be drawn to participate), had one dance class, and then had the pool games and an ice carving demonstration (that was on the second day at sea and that was neat.  It’s a highly skilled art, and you’re basically using a chisel to sculpt.  He carved an eagle, and it was amazing seeing how quickly a recognizable shape emerged out of a several hundred pound block of ice).  Still, there was lots of sun to bask in, and that was fun.

The first night at sea was supposed to be formal night, but since it was Super Bowl Sunday, they postponed formal night.  It seemed a little odd to me that the Super Bowl would have that much power, but it did.  The dining room was practically empty even for late seating at around 8.  Then we went to the show, which was a magician named Rober something.  He’s a really good sleight-of-hand magician when he’s working a preset routine to music, but not so good with audience interaction.  Still, I’d recommend seeing him if you ever get a chance.  He might eventually give Paul Gernter a run for his money, and Paul Gertner is fantastic—he’s an absolutely must see if you like magic and ever have the opportunity.

The next day was Grand Cayman.  Sam went off to scuba dive, and I set out on an island tour.  Another thing I disliked about Carnival was the way they did their tours.  They had probably a dozen different tours, most of them 2 hours or less, but they offered one of each and they all started at the same time, so even though we were in port 6 hours, you could only take 1 tour, which upset me because I really would have liked to have taken both an island tour and a glass bottom boat.  Carnival did it the same way in Cozumel, one of each tour, leaving in the morning, and we were in port over 12 hours.  Anyway, we set off along the renowned 7 Mile Beach with all its famous resort hotels, but at least the part we saw wasn’t very pretty or even a very nice beach; it didn’t look like it would be comfortable to lay on—kind of rocky.  Gorgeous blue-green water, though.  Then we saw the Governer’s house, which really I didn’t find very impressive, but I guess the definition of luxury is quite different in that country; saw a native house with a beautiful garden of flowering plants, shrubs, and trees; and arrived at Hell.

Hell is quite the tourist trap, a national park/monument/site/whatever, and quite a nifty little place.  It’s most notable feature is a part coral, part limestone rock formation that looks rather like very jagged, peaked, lava.  Supposedly the first explorers got there, said “What the Hell is that”, and the name stuck.  It’s very cute—there are little cardboard demons out among the rocks, and one of the main little shops is called the Devil’s Hangout, with Devils painted on the outside and a guy in a Devil suit running the gift store.  Very nifty place.

Next stop was the Cayman Island Turtle Farm.  Besides turtles, we saw a green iguana, a Macaw parrot, and a smaller green parrot native to the Cayman Islands.  We also saw an agouti, a samll, South American rodent, which is also called a Cayman Rabbit.  I don’t think it looks very rabbit-like though.  The body, maybe, but the face is more mouse or rat like.  Sort of like a capybara, but smaller.

The we saw four kinds of turtles.  First we saw the big green turtles, which are the ones they breed commercially as well as for study, and which are the main turtles at the farm.  They had huge numbers of adults swimming around what was maybe the equivalent of an olympic-sized swimming pool.  We’re talking 200+ pound turtles here.  Very impressive.

Then we saw the tanks of baby turtles.  These included Hawksbills, gray turtles (which are raised solely for scientific study and are not native to the Cayman Islands—they’re a Pacific turtle), and another one which is the most sought after for it’s shell, so it’s very closely protected.  Then we got the chance to hold baby hawkbills and I got my picture taken with one.  Sam got to see an adult while he was diving.  Lucky him.

Last stop on the tour was Captain Rackam’s Rum Cake Factory where I got to sample I think 8 kinds of rum cake and 8 kinds of fudge.  Most of the rum cake wasn’t flavorful enough for me, but they had a lovely plum pludding which I bought several of to bring home for family, and a very nice coconut rum cake which was different.

After that I went shopping, which was fun.  I’m a big fan of ticky-tacky tourist stuff (I don’t want cheap junk, but not too high class either.  It’s got to be expressive of where I got it, but still attractive and/or practical).  I also, when I remember, collect pins and Christmas ornaments from the places I go.  I got a pin at the turlte farm, but I couldn’t find an ornament I liked.  They had tons of gorgeous ornaments made out of shells and stuff, but I was really looking for something like a turtle, which I didn’t find.  Oh well.  I did find a steel drum CD for my mom (she’s crazy about steel drums—absolutely flipped for the CD), and a black Grand Cayman t-shirt with pirates on it for Sam, which he loved.  So that was good.

That night they had the Gala Buffet on the ship, which was much more fun to look at than to eat.  In fact, they opened it for pictures at 11:30 and didn’t serve until 12:30, so I took my camera, took a ton of pictures, and then went to bed about 12:15.  The presentation was marvelous, but the only thing I really wanted to eat was the salami stuffed with cream cheese and olives, so I decided it wasn’t worth staying up for.

The centerpiece of the buffet was a Chinese dragon carved out of ice, which was impressive, but what I found so neat was that all of the food was "sculpted" or shaped or arranged in a pattern.  They had everything from the dragon, to an Eagle cake, to little chick shaped deviled eggs, to flowers made of deviled eggs and celery stalks.  Just really detailed and very fun to look at.

The next morning I got to go to the Mayan ruins of Tulum.  Our guide was a real Mayan who taught school during their 4 month school year.  He taught us a few Mayan words, which I’ve already forgotten, and showed us pictures of their calendar.  I have a really nice double sided t-shirt that has a calendar on it.  The Mayans are known for human sacrifice, but apparently that didn’t actually become the norm until they were conquered by another race, the Toltecs.  Then they started slaughtering people as an honor.  For example, they are a sun-centered society, so 52 is a mystical number for them.  If anyone, particularly a priest, reached the age of 52, they were beheaded.  So were their best athletes.  I forget exactly why, but it was a great honor.

I unfortunately didn’t enjoy Tulum as much as I should have because that was the only time on our trip it rained, and I mean it poured from before we arrived until the exact point I returned to the shopping area from the ruins.

One thing we did get to see that was kind of neat were Sun Dancers from another tribe.  They do what’s sort of like a very bizarre variation of a Maypole.  Five of them climb this pole, and one sits on top and plays music while the other four swing round and round this pole.  They also had a drummer in native garb, all fur and feathers, which was very mesmerizing except every once in a while he’d take a sip of Coke from a can, and it sort of ruined the effect.

I really liked Tulum (they even have wild iguanas just perching on the wall), but I don’t think seeing it really satisfied my urge because it was so wet, so I didn’t spend as much time wandering the ruins as I would have liked.  Which is kind of my feeling about the whole trip—it was only enough to whet my appetite.  Seven days is definitely a better length for a trip, even if you don't spend any more time at each port.  Five days just isn’t long enough to effectively escape from real life.  I’d also really like to go to Chichen Itza some day, the really famous Mayan ruins.  In fact, I bought this spray-painted picture (fascinating process that—made with stencils so you can crank out anything you want in 15 minutes, but they do some wonderful things with color and arrangements) that’s a night view of the Chichen Itza pyramid.  Very ethereal.  Just couldn’t resist, even if it does kind of violate my souvenir buying code.

And that’s one thing I’ll say about shopping in Cozumel.  It takes a lot of resistance.  Very much like Tiajauna, only cleaner, and last time I was in Tiajauna the merchants weren’t nearly as pushy.  I was amazed at how well I did, given that I was a young female shopping alone, a very easy target.  One of the people I met on the cruise had been waiting the whole trip to go shopping in Cancun, and she just hated it because there was so much pressure.  I didn’t mind.  I didn’t exactly know what I wanted, but I knew what I didn’t, and I found it fairly easy to walk away.  Never did find myself an ornament I liked (in fact, I really didn’t find any in Cozumel), but I got a cute little wooden turtle with a bouncy head instead.  And I got a dollar off the price because the guy needed my ones for change for someone else, and I only had $2 instead of $3.  That’s the other thing I’ll say—if you stand there long enough looking like you might buy, they’ll drop the price.  That’s how I got my nice, fairly heavy, double-sided t-shirt for only $10.  I stood there looking cold, wet, and indecisive long enough that the guy came down.

That night Sam and I ate dinner early because we were still in port and there were enough empty seats from people who’d gone to town that the maitre d’ was flexible.  It was chateau briand and a really good shrimp dish, so Sam had it at early seating, then went back and had it again at our regular seating.  Holly, Darryl, and Attila got a kick out of that.

The last day at sea was very quiet.  We filled out customs forms, learned all about disembarkation, and prepared to gather at something hideous like 7:45 AM because we were a pre-noon flight.  That turned out to be an absolute joke.  They gathered us all together, didn’t tell us anything, and then started unloading everybody by deck, regardless of when their flights were.  Like so many other parts of the cruise, it just made no sense.  And with the whole fuss they made about customs, the only thing that happened was a crew member collected our forms as we exited.

Please don’t think I hated the cruise.  I didn’t.  It was very relaxing, I met some nifty people, and I had a lot of fun.  I didn’t hate Carnival either, although comparatively Sam and I both think Princess wins by a lot, even though we weren’t that impressed at the time.  I would take Carnival again, but I want to try one of their bigger ships that maybe would have a bigger crew and more activities.  And 7 days is definitely the way to go.
 
 

Image courtesy of World of Aminmated Gifs