The scene switches to the Adrics 2001 Awards Stage.  The
Presenter,  DOUGLAS KILLINGS, can be seen walking out onto the
stage, holding a small statuette and an envelope.  He is tall,
with brown hair tied back in a pony-tail.  He is also dressed in
combat fatigues, with a blue-star-on-red shield emblem sewn
prominently on one shoulder.  He stops at the podium, and
addresses the audience:

"Hi, I'm Douglas Killings, and I'm here to present the award for
Best Comedy Long Fiction (Story of More Than One Post).  This
award is given to honor the fine, dedicated, humorous work of the
writers on Alt.DrWho.Creative, many of whom..."

"GET ON WITH IT!!!" comes the inevitable outcry of the audience.

Douglas smirks; this is the second year in a row he'd been cut
off before be could be allowed to pontificate on the virtues of
fan fiction.

"Errr... Well, if that's the way you feel about it..."

"WE DO!!"

Douglas sighs, then takes a deep breath.  "Ok, then.  The
nominations this year for Best Comedy Long Fiction (Story of More
Than One Post) are:"

Behind him one video screen shows several quick scenes of a
maniacal Marinusian as he lays his plans to take over the
universe.  Or, at the very least, the fast food industry.

"_The Return Of Yartek, Leader of the Alien Voord_ (VIA #1), by
Matt Marshall..."

The camera switches to Matt Marshall, sitting in the audience. 
His picture appears on a video screen on the stage behind
Douglas, opposite the first video screen.

Then there is a pause before the picture dissolves away to
something else.  This time it is of a frightful scene of drunken
debauchery, as canonical and non-canonical female Doctor Who
characters take over a pub and ruminate on life, the universe,
and everything.  And guys.  And lots of other things too
frightening to contemplate.

"_Grrl Power_ (aka 'Ladies Night'), by Mags Halliday and Helen
Fayle..."

The camera switches to two gorgeous ladies sitting in the
audience.  Their pictures go alongside XXXX on the screen behind
Douglas.

Another pause, then the picture dissolves to a laughing, insane
air conditioning repairman, a young woman who looks suspiciously
like Winona Ryder burying her face in her hands, and a pair of
small, flying, Tinkerbell-like faeries in hot, lesbian action.

"_Shock Value_ series, by Bradley K. Willis..."

The camera switches to B.K. Willis sitting in the audience. 
There is a low hint of grumbling from the audience.  Willis'
picture now joins the others on the video screen.

Pause once more, then the picture dissolves to the shadowed
outlines of four individuals watching a piece of fan fiction on a
screen and making their editorial comments, as well as the insane
ramblings of the mad Alzarian bartender who sent them there.

"_Mystery Psycho Theater 3000, Episode 5: Gates of Dawn_, by
Bradley K. Willis..."

The camera switches once more to B.K. Willis sitting in the
audience.  The low grumbling is now just a little bit louder. 
There are now two pictures of Willis on the screen, both exactly
the same.

Pause.  The picture dissolves once more to the shadowed outlines
of four individuals watching a piece of fan fiction on a screen
and making their editorial comments, as well as the insane
ramblings of the mad Australian radical feminist/ex-stewardess
who refuses to help rescue them.

"_Mystery Psycho Theater 3000, Episode 7: Punting on the Streams
of Time_, by Bradley K. Willis..."

The camera switches yet again to B.K. Willis sitting in the
audience.  The grumbling is now very loud.  A third duplicate
picture of Willis follows on the screen.

Pause again.  The picture now dissolves to scenes involving a
certain dweebish male Alzarian, a certain psychopathic female
Trakenite, a volatile gun-toting aqua-transsexual, world
domination, and more anime references than should be legal.

"...and finally, _The Feminine Mistake_, by Bradley K. Willis
(part of the _To Die For_ series).

The camera switches yet once more to B.K. Willis.  The auditorium
erupts as a fourth picture of Willis joins the others on the
screen.  A group of noisy protestors (including James Carville,
members of NOW, the Green Party, PETA, Ogrons from the local
chapter of the AFL-CIO, and the entire staff of the Nancy Luft
Center for International Studies) start to burn an air
conditioning repairman effigy, all the time chanting "Down with
redneck writers!"

Douglas watches in satisfaction as a group of Daleks and Cybermen
from the back rows open fire to restore order.  When the smoke
clears, he resumes the presentation.

"Ahem.  Well, now that _that_ is taken care of."  He rips open
the envelope, takes out the card, stares at it, turns it over a
few times, stares at it some more, then whistles.

"Holy chad!  The winner is.... a tie!  Yes, a tie!  Mags Halliday
and Helen Fayle for _Grrl Power_, and Bradley K. Willis for _The
Feminine Mistake_!  And since there is only one statue for the
three of you to divide among yourselves, I'll leave it to you
guys to fight it out over who gets the trophy."

And as the winners advance to the podium to accept their award,
cries of "Mud Wrestling!" begin to be heard from the audience...