Rolling Stones-Exile on Main Street Chaka Khan-I Feel For You Tom Waits-Real Gone The Strokes-Is This It Violent Femmes-Add It Up (1981-1993) Kronos Quartet-Tan Dun Ghost Opera Cowboy Junkies-Black Eyed Man
stuck in my head
"ABC" The Jackson Five
The City & The City-China Mieville Introduction to Cataloging and Classification 10th edition-Arlene G. Taylor
three terrible jokes
At St. Mary 's Church they have a weekly husbands' marriage seminar. At the last session, the priest asked Giuseppe, who was approaching his 50th wedding anniversary, to take a few minutes and share how he had managed to stay happily married to the same woman for so many years.
Giuseppe replied to the assembled husbands, "Wella, I've a-tried to treat her nicea, spenda da money on her, but besta of alla is, I tooka her to Italy for our 25th anniversary!"
The priest responded, "Giuseppe, you are an amazing inspiration to all the husbands here! Please tell us what you are planning for your 50th anniversary?"
Giuseppe proudly replied, "I'm gonna go get her back."
Morris returns from a long business trip and finds out that his wife has been unfaithful during his time away.
"Who was it!!!???" he yells. "That snake in the grass Bobby Joe Bates?"
"No," replied his wife. "It wasn't Bobby Joe."
"Was it Ben Taylor, that dirty old man?"
"No, not him."
"Aha! Then it must have been that idiot Chuck Sanders!"
"No, it wasn't Sanders either..."
Morris was now fuming. "What's the matter?" he cried. "None of my friends good enough for you?"
A woman was at her hairdresser's getting her hair styled for a trip to Rome with her husband. She mentioned the trip to the hairdresser, who responded, "Rome? Why would anyone want to go there? It's crowded and dirty. You're crazy to go to Rome. How are you getting there?"
"We're taking Continental," was the reply. "We got a great rate!"
"Continental?" exclaimed the hairdresser. "That's a terrible airline. Their planes are crap, their flight attendants are ugly, and they're always late. Where are you staying in Rome?"
"We'll be at this exclusive little place over on Rome's Tiber river called Teste."
"Don't go any further. I know the place. Everybody thinks it's gonna be something special and exclusive, but it's really a dump."
"We're going to go to the Vatican and maybe get to see the Pope."
"That's rich," laughed the hairdresser. "You and a million other people are trying to see him. He'll look the size of an ant. Boy, good luck on this lousy trip of yours. You're going to need it."
A month later, the woman again came in for a hairdo. The hairdresser asked her about her trip to Rome.
"It was wonderful," explained the woman, "Not only were we on time in one of the Continental's brand new planes, but it was overbooked, and they bumped us up to first class. The food and wine were wonderful, and I had a handsome 28 year old steward who waited on me hand and foot. The hotel was great!! They had just finished a $5 million remodeling job, and now it's a jewel, the finest hotel in the city. They too were overbooked, so the
apologized and gave us their owner's suite at no extra charge!"
"Well," muttered the hairdresser, "that's all well and good, but I Know you didn't get to see the Pope."
"Actually, we were quite lucky. As we toured the Vatican, a Swiss Guard tapped me on the shoulder, and explained that the Pope likes to meet some of the visitors, and if I'd be so kind as to step into his private room and wait, the Pope would personally greet me. Sure enough, five minutes later, the Pope walked through the door and shook my hand! I knelt down and he spoke a few words to me."
"Oh, really! What did he say?"
He said, "Who f---d up your hair?"
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