NEW BIRD

It’s 1:06 am
I’m driving away again
as the rain forms a cataract on the windshield

The year’s an hour old
and the heater keeps blowing cold
since the moment I lost sight of you through the windshield

I follow the curve of the freeway
I taste the chill of New Year’s Day

Three years back in time
I never thought you’d be mine
and how could I guess that you’d be so glad to find me

Now, my only doubt
is that the caffeine might not hold out
as the halogen lights awaken me, if not blind me

Your face, the fog, and the freeway
are all I can see on New Year’s Day

Two more years go by,
and I thought you’d never make me cry,
but my tears race like Cadillacs through a green field

And your smile in the fog just fades
in a half-decade’s serenades,
like the moment I lost sight of you through the windshield

And there’s no such thing as a free way
to taste the chill of New Year’s Day.

©1997 Dolph Chaney.

Stupid Girl

I met you in a giant bookstore
me with my Far Side, you with your Crichton
your crying had made your eyes look sore,
which somehow made you even more inviting

so I offered you a drink
of bookstore cappuccino
and I wondered what you’d think
(it was probably "what does he know?")

we walked along the avenue
my brain congealed
"it’s such a pleasure having you –
you make me feel so stupid, girl"

We got each other’s schedules booked up –
laughing and talking, staring in your eyes
but it wasn’t long ‘til you two hooked up,
and you weren’t sure if I would swallow your lies

so you offered me a drink
that you’d selected from your file
it went down so sweet and pink
and left me swimming in denial

when it comes down to shaming me,
you wrote the book –
confusing me, then blaming me,
you made me look so stupid, girl

I thought, "it’s time you both were tested"
but it turned into Shakespeare in the park
the weeping way you both protested
just left me cold in the Jurassic dark

and as you’re pouring him a drink
and slipping him a mickey,
I wonder - does he really think
he isn’t just another quickie?

you take that sharpened sickle
and you hit the spot
you tell me it should tickle,
but even I am not that stupid, girl

Ocean

you are Ocean
you are Ocean
(a brand of saltwater nasal spray) –
you clear my nose
you clear my throat
but you burn my eyes and rot my stomach away

©1997 Dolph Chaney.

Miss You

I throw a rock at your head
but I miss you
I throw a rock at your head
but I miss you
and I’ll keep missing you until the end of time

©1997 Dolph Chaney.

Let Me Lie

I would give anything.
Just like I did before,
I would give anything
if you could give once more.

Lie to me, and let me lie with you.
I’m tired of the truth; I just want you.

I would give anything
to fake one more embrace.
I’d buy you another ring
just to misread your face.

Lie to me, and let me lie with you.
I’m tired of the truth; I just want you.

I would give anything
for just one night of sleep,
and you could take everything,
‘cause none of it would keep.

Lie to me, and let me lie with you.
I’m tired of the truth; I just want you.

©1997 Dolph Chaney.

Autumn Leaves

directions to a long-forgotten town
a torn and frozen "no trespassing" sign
a ticket for a ride that got closed down
a crumpled notice reading "parking fine"

so this is what happens when autumn leaves,
and this is what autumn leaves behind.

a make-up mirror with the glass all scratched
a fragment of a shirt ripped up by love
a cold that’s running far too fast to catch
a heat from deep inside, but not enough

so this is what happens when autumn leaves,
and this is what autumn leaves behind.

©1997 Dolph Chaney.

Make Me A Baby

I’m scared and I’m scarred
I’m turning to dust
I’ve been struggling so hard,
I forgot how to trust
So roll back the stone
from the mouth of the well
Just lead me on home
and teach me to dwell

Make me a baby
and rock me to sleep
Teach me to crawl
when the hill is too steep
Someday I’ll walk tall
and help lead the sheep,
but make me a baby, for now,
and rock me to sleep

I’ve stood on this platform,
like a king or a slave,
but I can’t keep myself warm,
and I can’t make myself brave.
So, Lord, let me giggle,
so safe from alarm,
and make me so little
that I fit in your arms.

©1997 Dolph Chaney.

My Crucifixion

I've had enough
My days of whinin' poses are about to end
When it got tough,
that's when You got me going – now I'm on the mend

It's my crucible
It's my crucifixion
and it is crucial that You see it through

I sat and moaned
about this bitter cup You had to give to me
Almost dethroned,
You still would not give up – now I drink gratefully

It's my crucible
It's my crucifixion
and it is crucial that You see it through

I'm sick of listening to me
and I don't know how You could stand it!
I know You know what's best for me,
and I don't have to understand it.

©1997 Dolph Chaney.

Bird

I'll bring the prophet dinner,
though I've got no barn to store.
I'll pluck the eyes of mocking sons
and cry out "nevermore".

And I'll fly by Your side
and take all You provide.
Please take my best, and I'll build my nest
in the tree on which You died.

I'm worth just half a penny,
and I'm on this roof alone,
but I feel Your eye upon me, Lord,
as I make this place my home.

And I'll fly by Your side
and take all You provide.
Please take my best, and I'll build my nest
in the tree on which You died.

I'm being sold by children
of the one I showed dry land,
but when you turn their tables, they will see
in me Your Spirit descend.

And I'll fly by Your side
and take all You provide.
Please take my best, and I'll build my nest
in the tree on which You died.

I used to never let You
gather me under Your wing,
but now I crow, reminding those
who deny the hope You bring.

And I'll fly by Your side
and take all You provide.
Please take my best, and I'll build my nest
in the tree on which You died.

©1997 Dolph Chaney.

New Song

Am I forgetting what it's like to be in love?
I never had much of that leading-man stuff
but if my memory serves me right
it's something about serving in delight (in the light)

I don't know if we've even met,
but I promise you I won't forget
that you're waiting somewhere, somehow,
and through the pain of everything,
God gave me this new song to sing to you --
can you hear it, even now?

Am I regretting all the heart and soul I gave?
I waver from the stable to the crave
but when I sigh about the past,
I'm only aching for a love that lasts (at last)

I don't know if we've even met,
but I promise you I won't forget
that you're waiting somewhere, somehow,
and through the pain of everything,
God gave me this new song to sing to you --
can you hear it, even now?

Can I start letting go of memories that bruise?
I think I've almost paid my honey-dues
I hope it's soon, but I will wait
and no one else can have what's on your plate (even if you're late)

I don't know if we've even met,
but I promise you I won't forget
that you're waiting somewhere, somehow,
and through the pain of everything,
God gave me this new song to sing to you --
can you hear it?
Can you hear it?
Can you hear it, even now?

Heaven

Returning to the crash site
in a different car
coming back the next night
to see I’ve left no scar
I wish I’d made an impact
but I did all I could
I should be glad I got out intact
without a dented hood…

and I’ll never find salvation
in any woman’s eye
‘cause that’s not where it comes from –
so why do I still try?

heaven on earth still isn’t heaven
heaven on earth is still on earth

now I’ve been re-tired
do angels fear my tread?
Realigned and wired
infection in my head
and when I complain to Jesus
He smiles and writes my sins
in the sand, where no one sees us –
we throw them to the winds

and I’ll never find salvation
in any woman’s eye
‘cause that’s not where it comes from –
so why do I still try?

heaven on earth still isn’t heaven
heaven on earth is still on earth
heaven on earth still isn’t heaven
heaven on earth is just on earth

©1997 Dolph Chaney.

Out Of The Picture

I don’t have anything to say,
which is what you’ve told me for years.
I always seem to lose your way,
which is why you’ve sold me for tears.

Please come
out of the picture
in my head.
Please take
a seat in my heart
and fill my soul.

I held your present in the past,
and I would like to take it back.
I know, before this line is cast,
your baited breath is what I lack.

Please come
out of the picture
in my head.
Please take
a seat in my heart
and fill my soul.

My failures are not what you see,
but still I long to make them rare.
I feel you looking down on me,
and I could never climb that stare.

Please come
out of the picture
in my head.
Please take
a seat in my heart
and fill my soul.

©1997 Dolph Chaney.

Take It Away

look at this
you gave it to me
I love it, I love it, I love it
and it sings so sweet
but if it gets between
the two of us
I’d rather, I’d rather, I’d rather
see it hit by a bus

if I start to love the gift you gave
more than the one who gave it,
take it away

listen to this
it’s a word from you
I love it, I love it, I love it
and it rings so true
but if I lift it up
on an altar so high,
just knock it, knock it right off,
‘cause only you satisfy

if I start to love the thing you said
more than the one who said it,
take it away

I can’t believe this –
you outdid yourself!
I needed it, I needed it, oh
and you gave me help
but even though
you paid an unbelievable price,
I’ll never, never deify
that sacrifice

if I start to love that thing you did
more than the one who did it,
take it away.

©1997 Dolph Chaney.