My Book of Poems

Nothing I Wished For

But Everything I Had Hoped For
 
by David R. Varg

• My book's cover ~ just like a real book.
  
• Acceptance (this one's not mine) ~ Roy Campanella's poem rang a bell with me.
  
• My Introduction ~ A good place to start.
  
• Valentine ~ Presented to Colette on Valentine's Day 1995.
  
• One Year Anniversary ~ Presented to Col a week after the big day.
  
• Your Touch (or The Panic Poem) ~ Which do you like better? I wrote it after she told me she wanted a little time away.
  
• The Dream ~ An essay I wrote to try and figure a few things out.
  
• The Homeless Jar ~ Everything reminded me...even an empty peanut butter jar. A few months before she had asked if she could have a peanut butter jar of mine (which was nearly empty) to use as a storage jar for her kids at school. Now I was looking at another...
  
• The Birdhouse ~ A day of working together and seeing the results.
  
• Halloween ~ A year ago...what was I thinking?
  
• Dear Col (Or Two Year Anniversary Poem) ~ The day had to be honored!
  
• Wishing Star ~ There it is!
  
• Blue Sweater ~ She was so giving and generous.
  
• I'll Be There ~ A sincere offer that's still in effect.
  
• Thanksgiving ~ How I wished I could go back...
  
• The Quarter ~ Everywhere I looked I was reminded...
  
• Things Change ~ The river spoke to me this day.
  
• Taco Bell Picnic ~ So many sights would bring her back...
  
• Ten PM ~ The phone would not ring...Why???
  
• The Card ~ I never even bothered to find out what her message said. I was too busy...
  
• Your Toothbrush ~ I noticed it one day.
  
• The Cold Van ~ It was a cold day just like this...
  
• My Fair Lady recollected ~ Looking for winter boots stirred her up in my mind.
  
• Vineyard Weekend ~ Another gift passed up. For what????
  
• Value Meal ~ eating alone reminded me what a gift I had been given and had lost.
  
• The Last Visit ~ What more must be said?
  
• Senses ~ Written to my friend Jocelyn.
  
• The Coffee Mill ~ A coffee shop where I got some inspiration.
  
• Sermons ~ Church services seemed to speak just to me
  
• The Day After ~ Super Sunday was pretty good. Was there some big game going on???
  
• Going Home ~ The sights in Exeter set me free! Halleluiah!!
  
• Juicy Memories ~ More memories
  
• Casey at the Bat--Sequel ~ In 6th grade I recited Casey At The Bat in the school speaking contest . Now the poem needed an update.
  
• After Patience ~ Some smells brought good memories.
  
• The Lottery ~ Sunday March 16, 1997 we were getting together again at a concert of Irish music. I wrote this a few days prior. I felt as if I had won the big one.
  
• Daffodils ~ These yellow flowers have been chosen as the symbol of hope by The American Cancer Society; a sign that Winter shall pass.
  
• Vitamins ~ The jar was empty...no one was now reminding me to get more.
  
• Walking By The Bookstore ~ Every sight I gazed at this day was wonderful ...except one.
  
• The Swan ~ An inspiring scene which I was drawn towards.
  
• The Swans Revisited ~ One day there were two...
  
• Her Picture ~ I held her picture in my hand while waiting for her to arrive.
  
• Rushing Water ~ ...couldn't even flush without memories rushing in. Yikes!
  
• My Neighbor's Voice ~ Jocelyn's voice would sometimes be waiting for me when I checked my messages. What a delight it was to hear.
  
• The Acting Bug ~ Col went with me to a production of The Music Man which my friend Mac was in. She asked me if I missed being up there on stage. This was my response.
  
• The Music Swan ~ There's lots of wisdom in children's books.
  
• A Welcomed Sight ~ She had called me again. I had proof!
  
• Morning On Star Island ~ I went on a retreat with the church. Everybody must've wondered, "Who's the guy with the notebook?"
  
• Poetic Justice ~ She had sent me so many thoughtful things. Now, I was sending her copies of my poems and she didn't respond as fast as I'd like. The roles were reversed...Hmmm
  
• Marathon ~ We walked together again throughout the night.
  
• Ships Passing ~ Col stayed at my neighbor Jos's house for a few days. I called up Jos from work one night and Col answered. She didn't recognize my voice. She had forgotten me it seemed. I was very hurt. But when I got home from work she was sitting on my steps waiting for me. We took a long walk together this night.
  
• The Hug ~ Col showed up at a road race I was in. Afterwards we sat in her van and talked and embraced. A damned bug kept biting her leg, though which interrupted us. But at least we were together--this would be the last time.
  
• Thunderstorm ~ Every time storm clouds were visible I remembered a particular occasion when we were together and I sped her home because I had to get somewhere. Where was it I had to go? What would I do if the scenario were to happen today?
  
• Page 148 ~ I was reading New Passages by Gail Sheehy and this paragraph made an impression.
  
• Jos ~ A tribute to my friend.
  
• The Bookcase ~ July 26, 1997 (after a four months reunification dance) I was informed that she had chosen a course that didn't include me.
  
• The Blessed Run ~ Thank God for running!
  
• Good Morning ~ My friend Jos would sometimes leave a note for me in my truck telling me about a cookout at her house or some other activity which I was invited to attend. One morning I woke up and one of these was the first sight of the day...
  
• By The River ~ My friend Jos and I walked by the river one sunny August day. The next day when I brought Whitney there I was blessed with some fine associations
  
• A Walk With Whitney ~ Life goes on
  
• Last Saturday Night ~ Lots of frustrations in the day but I guess I can choose what I wish to focus on...
  
• Touching You... ~ Hugging Jos was such a comforting thing!
  
• Wednesday Night ~ That night at work I didn't pay much attention to my duties. I reflected on that morning.
  
• Autumn ~ The fall of 1997 saw an extraordinary (and lengthy) display of wonderful foliage. The best in years...or was it just my perspective? Hmmm
  
• The Smudge ~ Foggy is sometimes better...hmmmm
  
• The Special Race ~ One year anniversaries are poignant. When the date for the Raymond Road Race came around in 1998 it reminded me of the one last year, when she had shown up to cheer me on.
  
• The Clean Bathroom ~ Interesting perspective. When it's in order we can move on. Might be OK for bathrooms but not relationships.
• Together Again ~ We were getting back together...then I woke up.

• The Greyhound Who never found a home ~ This one's not mine. Terri Onorato's poems are beautiful and they reminds me to appreciate my little precious greyhound
  
• Whitney's page is here
  
• Bam Bam's page is here
  

Thank You, Colette! for all the time we shared. Press above to read the poem by that name. We spent 14 precious months together (November 5, 1994 to December 31, 1995) These poems (on this page) were all written while she was alive. The ones written after her passing are Here along with a summary of "Our Story". She'll always be alive "Somewhere" in my heart! Her Suncook Marker is here. [Close Box]