by DR Varg
"If only this had happened, could
then hist'ry have been changed?"
"Could one thing less have tipped the scale,
so we'd not be estranged?"
That question pops up in my brain
quite frequently, yes! still!
I wonder if the slightest patch
just might've stalled the spill.
for that conclusive whack,
that final straw which when arrived,
then broke the camel's back;
and wish it had been intercepted;
kept from taking hold
and caused the snowball, then to lose
momentum as it rolled!
to wear some ears--a hood,
like my successor did, when this year,
up on stage, he stood!
If only I'd accepted how
my costuming did look,
annoyance might've ceased before
ahold of me, it took!
If only I had sensed the gain
of lending my support
and chose to be beside her
as a comforting escort
attending then Ed's funeral
so, there with her, I'd be!
But I just knew the play was o'er!
'twas all that I could see.
If choose, we did the other film,
which, on that night, was shown
would my tense mood, which surfaced,
ne'er appeared? 'twill ne'er be known.
If only I'd revered the day
which did commemorate
our one year anniversary--
(one year since our first date!)
instead of being so consumed
with all that was about,
would her devotion, bolstered, been
instead of, soon worn out?
If only, I had drawn the portrait
Nancy did beseech;
could it have helped the cause and stalled
the wide'ning of the breach?
If only I had thought about
her concert held that night
instead of that invading duck,
who riled me up, downright!
If only, I had just picked up
the book she left behind.
She hoped I'd find some worth within.
But to that, I was blind!
If any one of these had been
observed and then addressed
could it have saved her sinking love
from dropping 'neath the crest?
And on and on the musings go:
If only this or that...
could it have caught her ebbing warmth,
and headed off the "splat"?
I can obsess, if I so choose
and strive to rearrange
the script a tad so that the end,
more pleasantly will change.
Or I can just accept the script
and all the flubs contained
and recognized they've guided me,
they've steered me--me, they've trained!
It's not alluring, getting slaps
while peace and comfort is!
But sometimes they are learning maps--
the route selection--His!
An easy life just glamour-filled
may seem to hold appeal.
But growth comes from adversity,
while ease denies this deal!
And where I am, I'd not be if
the load had not been bore.
My view would be much narrower;
this trip unlocked a door!
and with pain and grief, it teems
a blessing yes! can be contained,
e'en though, all's bleak, it seems!
There's inspiration from success
as well as when we mourn!
If things had turned out diff'rently
these poems would ne'er been born.
And all these thoughts would buried, be
to miss the light of day
if we had dodged one bullet
and together, we did stay!
It really stung but on, I hung,
throughout the whole ordeal!
of insights, good and real!
(David R. Varg 7-27-01)
