My first response was happiness.
What pleasure! What delight!
A little extra money is
a pleasing gain, not trite!
But then it soon reminded me--
my mind was quick to go
to one day where the same took place;
'twas four plus years ago.
A quarter, I had found then too!
...had picked it up with glee!
But while I then did touch this coin,
it stirred my mem-o-ry!
It brought me back to times I'd lost,
which triggered then just pain!
The treasure found spurred grief, remorse
and GONE! ...all sense of gain!
I wrote about this afterwards;
some rhyming verse accrued.**
The theme was: my discov'ry of
my focus, then so skewed!
And due to this, all I could feel
was sadness and regret!
The coin I'd found brought no reward;
this fact...could not forget!
I sent to her that poem I wrote;
I sent the quarter too!
Its value, there was none--it just
recounted my snafu!
But now this quarter held appeal!
Its value wasn't foiled!
It Yes! reminded me of then
but all, hence was not roiled!
Perhaps that time is settled, now;
the turmoil's past its peak.
So, mem'ries from those days can come;
their consequence, slight; weak!
Oh! What a prize to reach this state;
have mem'ries cross my path
and not feel bludgeoned. What a gift,
which come my way now, hath!
The contrast 'tween these two events,
it brings me such intrigue,
as both are Yes! so similar.
Yet, each in its own league!
The one I found in '96
spurred sorrow, heartache, woe.
It seemed my skill for finding coins
was one I should let go!
It didn't serve me well, I thought
as I did reminisce.
It was a great distraction and
much joy I then did miss
because of failing then, to look
exclusively at her
and taking full advantage of
the time, a pair, we were.
But now I can look back and muse,
"This trait's not so perverse!"
I noticed coins strewn on the ground
but I could have done worse!
My focus, it was on her; my
attention never lacked;
while we did stroll contentedly,
this coin-quest din't distract!
I'd made mistakes in other spots;
my traits, I did review
and those most lacking value, then
away them, I then threw!
But this one I had criticized
when write, that poem, I did,
I now concluded otherwise--
no need or gain to rid
myself from this--it's not so bad--
it didn't play a part--
it wasn't central in the steps
that caused her change of heart!
I found a bunch of coinage while
we walked--a happy pair--
and bent down to retrieve them but
this never stole my stare!
Now, time has passed; my conduct can
be seen through dif'frent eyes.
Seems then, I was quite critical--
so prone to self-chastise.
I'm glad I reappraised things, though;
'Twas proper such took place.
That poem, it tells unerringly
the questions I did face.
So, I'm not undermining all
the probing I took on.
I'm just declaring: there's no need,
this penchant be withdrawn!
So, picking up found money, it
is something I do, still.
If I look down and see one, pick
it up, I surely will!
Is that so bad, so fault-filled that
I need to stop--to quit?
Is that the last conclusion: there's
one trait I must omit?
Whereas, I sent one coin to her--
a need, that act did fill--
the one I found this April went
to-wards my coffee bill.
