Who were you Col? I thought I knew.
'Twas never any doubt.
A truly caring soul, were you.
So true to me, throughout.
My feelings always settle here;
it seems so real and set;
the deep devotion is so clear;
no better can it get!
The mem'ries from that time we shared,
bears proof and it defends
my firm conclusion that she cared
and we were loyal friends.
The closeness I so deeply sense
when visiting this state
is such a real experience;
the love is consummate.
But when the next stage then appears
my heart reacts, evolves
and aft' the message it then hears
my caring just dissolves!
How suddenly the picture changed.
That world exhisted, not!
The altered scene, how far it ranged
from where it had begot!
And then my feelings are compelled
to clash, there is a war!
The tenderness that I had held
is not there anymore!
I feel rejection fresh and keen;
abandonment, lost hope.
How could things travel to this scene?
How did things get from there to here?
...could not imagine this!
I went from someone special, dear
to someone she'd ne'er miss!
So in my life there were two Cols;
two ladies that I knew!
Not knowing which was her, so stalls
my moving on, so due.
I need a bridge to touch them both;
to let them, then to merge.
Then I can move and sense new growth;
it's close; I'm on the verge.
I would've liked it if, 'twas she
who could've merged the gap.
If talked, we could--just her and me;
her views to then unwrap.
How instrumental this would be
to mend the severed breach.
A precious op-por-tun-i-ty;
a sorting out, to reach.
So settling, this event could prove;
we both could then be freed!
A burden, this could then remove
and thus, address a need.
But we ne'er got this special chance.
Our paths remained unique.
She looked ahead back didn't glance;
T'wards me, I saw no peek.
But time, I hoped would alter this;
and someday she'd look back
and help me see what I did miss
so I could then unpack
the heavy load I've bore till now;
it then could be addressed;
and from her candor, I'd find how
to be at peace; to rest.
But something happened to prevent
this path from being trod.
Another way is where she went;
she was returned to God.
So, still I wrestle with the signs
that she presented me.
They all depict a love that shines,
then poof! so suddenly
the chapter, next is all too real;
she's gone! Away she's fled!
I've got to bridge this so I heal;
a light needs to be shed
upon this time so I can see
the reasoning behind
her turnaround regarding me
and maybe then, I'll find
the way to recollect Colette
as one united soul;
as someone precious I had met,
complete, fulfilled and whole.
My One Question
