RI Region
Married Men’s Retreat
Notes on
Prayer
About
five years ago, in a desperate attempt to salvage my life’s decision to follow
Christ from the grip of despair, apathy, legalism and fear, I finally caved in
to need to learn how to pray—for myself. I had always prayed, but looking back,
it was shallow and misguided, a means to an end rather than a genuine
relationship with my God.
It
was not an easy road, but it was brilliant with discovery and fullness that
surpassed all the expectations I started with. In it I found new vision, new
understanding and new hope. As I have shared this with others, I have
discovered that few men in the kingdom really
pray and find their hope and satisfaction there. The consequence to the kingdom
is much accumulated pain, frustration and reservations that stultify our
efforts and leave us wondering exactly what it is that we are trying to do, not
only as a movement, but as individuals.
I am thankful for this extended opportunity to address
this seriously with the brothers. Although I do not list them here, I will
present many scriptures that have come to have new meaning in this endeavor and
convince me beyond doubt that prayer may be the last and greatest frontier we
face in the kingdom.
Introduction
·
Thank
You - Rick Greenwood, Rick Luz
·
Why
I am here – Convictions – 5 years worth – (after 18 years as a disciple)
·
Who
am I – Just a beggar telling other beggars where to find bread
o I am not a funny person, not a joker – Tend toward intimidation
o If I come across as arrogant, self righteous, please forgive me.
o If I offend you, please talk to me.
·
Great
to be with the Men –
o Men are the leaders
o Men are the backbone of the
church
o Men are the leaders of the
families
o God has ordained men to lead
– Cannot lead where you don’t follow God.
§
Retreat
– “Married Men’s Retreat” Not about Marriage but will transform your marriage
§
Not
leading? – “Missed the Mark” –you are sinning!
·
Sin
= “Missed the Mark” – “Fallen Short”
o Saying this out of deep
concern, love for the brothers and the church
o Misunderstanding of the
nature of sin is responsible for much or our apathy and self reliance
§
Question:
Do you have a mark? If not, how do you know if you missed it?
§
What
is the Mark? – “FAITH” Romans 14:
Here
I plan to present some of my deepest convictions about the need in our
brotherhood for each man to be consummately devoted to prayer as the foundation
of his relationship with God. The scriptures are replete with references to the
nature of our relationship with God and it is a real relationship that demands time and effort.
These
convictions were born out of my personal experience over the last five years of
daily prayer and some fresh understanding of scriptures pointing to the vital
need in every man. Among others, they include:
1)
Prayer
is a Relational Conversation with God
·
Not
a time to ask for favors
·
Not
a pity party
2)
Sin
is the wall between us and God
·
Righteousness
is about relationship.
·
Sin
is that which degrades the relationship
·
Conviction
1: My Relationship Conversation is a Daily Pursuit
·
The
conversation with God is about preparedness
for the day
o Mark 9:14 - Jesus comes down off the Mountain.
·
Pre-emptive
first strike – the first act of the day
o Mark 2:35 - Jesus Got up
Early
·
The
nature of days and nights
o “give us today our daily
bread” – Matt. 6:11
o Matt 6:34 – “Each day has
enough trouble of its own”
o The example of Manna -
Exodus 16:21 – Yesterday’s Manna stinks – get it early
·
Conviction
2: My conversation with God is about our relationship
·
Conversation
is about relationship
o Phil. 3:7-11 – “I want to
know Christ …”
o Matt 7:21-23 – “I never knew
you …”
o John 14:1-9 “I am the way …” – if you know Jesus, you
know God
·
The
conversation with Dad
o Old testament – teaches us
about God
o New Testament – Teaches us
about a relationship with God
o Romans 8:15 “And by him we
cry ‘Abba, Father’”
o Gal. 4:6 “Because you are
sons …The spirit who calls out ‘Abba, Father.’”
·
Recognizing
God as God – Romans 1:21 “honor God as God and give thanks”
·
Talking
with God changes all our other relationships
·
“Brother, you’re acting as if this is a
matter of salvation” – It is.
·
Conviction
3: My Conversation with God must be deep and penetrating
·
Jesus
spent much time in Prayer
o All night
·
Relationships
are not based on “One-liners”
·
The
difference between the “one liner” and the protracted healing prayer - “Can I have a peanut butter Sandwich”
·
Many
men in desperate need of healing.
·
Talking
with God is about getting sin out of our lives, being humble before God (Talk more about how to do this this
afternoon)
·
Conviction
4: The role of scripture in finding my God
·
John
5:39 “Your read the scriptures because
…”
·
Prayer
is talking to God, getting answers from God
·
N.
T. – People Asked Jesus questions, he answered
o Heal me – heal my son Mark
9:
o Give us a sign!
o Teach us to Pray
o Tricky questions from bad
hearts
·
Conviction
5: I have to learn to converse with
God
·
Rom
8:26-27 You do not know how to ‘talk to
God’ as you ought – Like the little child
who does not know how to talk. -----
This is OK ----
·
Matt.
6:5-8 , Matt. 6:25-33 - God Knows what you need before you ask him - why ask?
- its not about asking - its about
relationship
·
Baptism
is just the birth – then we have to grow up
·
Luke
11:1 – “Teach us to pray” – the only thing the disciples ever asked Jesus to
teach them.
·
Learn
by doing – it is hard work – takes much discipline and determination.
·
Making
the decision to be a man who talks to God
(this is proving to be almost as difficult as the decision to become a
Christian)
·
The
MUSTARD SEED – Plant and nurture
·
Conviction
6: Strength from God is the foundation of leadership
·
Acts
6:1-7 Prayer and the ministry of the
word.
·
Acts
14:1ff They were praying
·
Widsom
o I Kings 3:5-15 Solomon knew
that leadership need wisdom more than anything else
·
Strength
from God - Mark 9 – Jesus Could walk into any situation
·
Conviction
7: Argue your case with God, and God alone
·
George
Mueller “Answers to Prayer”
·
Bring
the Boy to Me – Come follow me, etc.
·
Abraham
(Sodom) and Moses (averting the destruction of Israel) changed God’s mind by
their prayers.
o If you are right, God will
vindicate you
o If you are wrong, God will
convict you
You can change the world in prayer – You can change history – you can change your heart, you can change the hearts of others.
This session will be focused on my discoveries about
prayer and how it has shaped me as a man of God. I will present many things
that I found in prayer and some startling (at least to me) things about what
prayer is and what it is not. Some of the issues are:
1)
My
morning Conversation is about Relationship (“Abba, Father”)
·
Jesus
was the first to call God ‘Father’
2)
My
talk with God is experimental – you do not know how to pray.
·
Prayer
starts the night before
o How much sleep do you need
(Do you know?)
o when do you need to be in
bed in order to get up in time for prayer (Jesus got up early)
·
Dealing
with distractions
o Get away from the
distractions – Walk
§
Do
you know your distractions?
o Confess the distractions –
have the conviction to jump back in where you left off.
§
We
do this with people, why not with God? – “I’m sorry, I just got distracted”
o You will get better focused
with time
·
Dealing
with the fear of becoming righteous
o We stop praying because we
fear positive results would overwhelm us.
o Ask God to not be afraid –
Ask God to give you strength to deal with the answers to the prayer.
·
Dealing
with doubt
o Doubt kills our faith –
James 1:
o “Increase our faith” - Luke
17:5 – We can ask God for Faith
o “I do believe … help me in
my unbelief” – Mark 9
·
Scriptures
- Wrestling with the author instead of his words
o Wrestling with the
Scriptures, Issues, brothers, ideas?
o Jacob wrestling with God –
Gen. 32:22ff
§
God
became “His” God.
o John 5:39 “You refuse to
come to me to have life”
o Tell God what you feel and think
§
I
Chronicles 28:8-9 “Whole hearted devotion and a willing mind”
·
Acknowledging
God as God in prayer
o Romans 1: they did not
acknowledge God as God
o John 8:39-47 “Your father is
the devil”
o David in the Psalms –
Whining, but knowing to whom you are whining.
·
Calling
on God in the name of Jesus
o “Ask anything in My name” –
John 14:13-14
o Prayer in Jesus name
o Seven Sons of Sceva –
casting out demons in Jesus name
·
The
Holy Spirit’s role in our conversations
o Romans 8:26-27 intercession
on our behalf
§
Prayer
according to God’s will
§
I
John 5:14 “ask anything according to
his will, he hears us
o Gal. 5:21ff - fruit of the Holy Spirit.
o John 3: The Holy Spirit
leads from day to day
§
Don’t
prepare ahead of time?
·
Giving
your Burdens to Jesus
o Matt. 11:28-30 “come to me, all you who are weak and
burdened …
o Gal. 6:2 Bearing one
anothers’ burdens – can only do this if we know how to give our burdens to
Jesus.
o Giving the burden of sin to
Jesus à confession of sin
o Phil 4:6-7 “Be anxious for
nothing.”
·
Finding
healing in confessing sin to God
o James 5:16 - Baptism does
not heal us –
o 20 minutes – The healing
hand of God touches and shapes our hearts.
o God may not change
us, but give us the strength to be different when we rely on him
every day.
o Psalms 51:10-13 Create in me
a pure heart.
·
Confession
of sin in your conversation with God
o Sin is “missing the mark”
o Praying about sin increases
our awareness of it
o Psalms – “Search me and know
my heart, see if there is any sinful way in me”
o Ask God to reveal Sin in
your heart.
§
Christians
§
Non-Christians
§
Bible
§
Circumstances
·
Listening
to God in prayer
o Eccl. 5:1-2 Draw near to listen rather than offer the
sacrifice of fools - “Let your words be few” – What does this mean?
o Matt. 6:7 “They think they
will be heard for their many words …”
o Stop to listen – What do you
hear?
·
Seeking
preparedness from our conversation with God
o Mark 9:29 - “This Kind only comes out with prayer and
fasting” – Jesus did not Pray
o “Gird your minds for Action”
- I Peter 1:13
o Are you ready to deal with
anything?
§
Family
Controversy
§
Church
§
Work
§
Health
·
Finding
the Root – Talking through the layers of sin
o Matt. 5:23-24 “If your
brother has something against you”
o Working backward to deal
with fear
o Root is always found in my sin – ask God until you find it.
·
Prayers
that we ought not to pray
o Prayers that have already
been answered
o Prayers that Jesus said not
to ask for.
§
“An
adulterous generation asks for a sign”
·
Go
to the Mountain
o Don’t be anti-superstitious
about prayer – Maybe the mountain IS
better
o Don’t be superstitious –
“there is a right way to pray”
·
Praying
for wisdom
o James 1: - Act like you have been given the wisdom.
Act on the wisdom you have been given.
o Solomon’s great prayer – I
Kings 2 - one of the greatest in the Bible.
·
Finding
Satisfaction in our Conversations.
o Philippians 4:4-7 - the
peace that surpasses all understanding
o Knowing we cannot pray for
everything
§
Prayer
Lists
o Jacob - “I will not let you
go until you bless me”
o Luke 6:39 “Pressed down,
shaken together, it will pour into your lap”
o John 10:10 life to the full
o Ephesian 3:14-20 “More than
we can ask or imagine.” Context is prayer.
I believe it is appropriate on Sunday morning to
present how God has healed and rekindled my heart in prayer. Snippets of this
will surface in the other talks, but here I want to focus on what God has done
specifically for me over the last five years:
Luke 11:1-13 The promise of prayer – “Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you
·
Healing
of long festering hurt from in and outside the church.
o My experience in the
Ministry
o My experience out of the
Ministry
o Knowing the better way …
o My own Sin – Self
righteousness, resentment, insecurities, pride
·
The
power of God’s protection of my heart on a daily basis (overcoming besetting
sin in my life)
o The quick mind/ quick
tongue - “Snappy answers to stupid
questions” –Taming the tongue – James 3
o Cynical mindset –
(engineers)
·
How
my prayer has affected my family and my marriage
o The effect on my wife
o The effect on my children.
·
How
my prayer has changed my heart for relationships in the church and compassion
for others.
o
·
How
God has transformed the world around me.
o Schedule
o Pray for Work – Jeremiah 29:
·
How
God has lifted my burdens and how I came to understand “the peace that
surpasses understanding” and how to be “content in all (well, most) situations”
o Phil 4:4-7, 12-13
·
How
God has “spoken” to me in prayer about scripture and about situations that need
my attention.
o Bible Talk
o Reaching the Brothers
·
The
gift of wisdom in prayer
Actual
Lesson Notes from Sunday Morning:
Luke 11:1-13 The disciples ask Jesus to teach them to Pray. This is the only thing they have ever asked Jesus to teach them
Vs
5-8 The man gets what he asks for because of his boldness.
Hebrews 4:14-16 We can approach God’s throne of grace with confidence.
·
We
have to be bold with God.
·
Matt.
15:21-28 – We can argue our case with God, even when he seems to be ignoring us
or even gives a “No” answer.
II Cor. 12:7-10 – we have to be willing to take “No” for an answer.
·
Even
when we get a “No” answer, God has our best interests at heart.
·
This
forces me to depend on God
·
Luke
18:1-8It is okay to “wear God out with our prayers”
·
I
Chronicles 28:9-10 - We must have an
willing mind and a whole heart
·
Psalm
139:23-24 - We must be willing to pray this prayer and trust God to fulfill it
gently in us
Psalm 127:1-2 Unless the Lord Builds the house …
·
Lay
down the needs of the family before God.
·
God
will change your family in ways you cannot imagine.
·
“God
grants sleep to those he loves” - we
should not be burdened or exhausted when we lay down or lives in prayer before
God. He does stuff that we cannot ask or imagine for those he loves.
Prayer
for work
Jeremiah 29:4-14 “Seek the welfare of the city…”
Psalm 132:1-4
“I will not rest until I find my God.”