Dogstar is crashing/His whole world is crashing/Everything is crashing/We are all crashing/This novel/myth/prose-poem is crashing/His whole place is cluttered with beer bottles & cans & overflowing ashtrays/Dogstar is pacing up & down frantically wondering what to do/What is becoming of him?/He can't get a good job because he's gone crazy & is a veteran of an unpopular war/He's just a stupid dishwater- dishwasher in a grotesque topless bar with grotesque dishes & grotesque customers/He lives in a broken-down rathole of a cottage behind the place/He is pacing up & down in his place & he is going crazier every minute/His cat stares at him with ears folded back in terror/He lights up a Winston cigarette to aid & abet his madness/He has to take a piss/Just piss on it/What'd he have to start smoking for again anyway?/He stubs it out on the floor & for good measure, he pisses on it/The management hardly cares/Who cares?/Does anybody care?/Does a dog have Buddha-nature?/Or does the Buddha have dog-nature?/Who cares?/Dog spelled backwards is God/Who the hell cares?/Stop the world, I want to get off/Dogstar is getting off/What does any of it matter?/The main character of this pointless story is staring at himself in a small cracked bathroom mirror/He's trying to figure out if that's really him/He has misplaced his identity somewhere/He has long brown hair parted in the middle/He has hazel-amethyst eyes/He's trying to grow a beard/He has a handle-bar mustache/What does it matter?/He wouldn't be too bad-looking, if he'd only get that sulky look off his face/He has thin lips/He has a short nose/He has a sulky look on his face/How did he wind up this way?/Fuck all that/He opens the bathroom cabinet door, grabs a medicine bottle, shakes out a few pills with trembling hands spilling a few to the floor, & rapidly swallows them without water/He's gotta have his fix or he'll go crazy/He's addicted to the pills, but what else can he do?/What else does he have to live for?/Stop the world/Let me get off/Who cares?/After a few interminable eternal moments, the pills have their effect/Dogstar is getting off the world/He feels the welcome rush emerging from his belly/Ah, he feels much better now/He can get off on the world now/Now maybe he'll actually be able to get through another day of the hell his life has become/When he goes to wash those dishes, he won't feel a thing/His boss, Hairy Harry, proprietor of "Cloud 9 Lounge", Wheatfield's infamous one & only topless bastard bar, knows he is a downer addict, but doesn't care/No one cares/Does Buddha have dog-nature?/Outside the cottage, snow is falling in buckets/The whole place is surrounded by mounds & mounds of snow/It's impossible to go anywhere in these kind of conditions/He's utterly trapped in this kind of situation/Dogstar stares at the stranger in the mirror/There is a crack across the face/Is that really him or is that some kind of joker posing as him?/The joker makes leering faces at himself & sticks out his tongue in defiance/The joker walks into his room & looks at the clock, the enemy which rules his temporal, temporary existence/It is time to bravely face the world/I've got to get off/The joker puts on his winter garments, opens the door, & plunges in through the snow/The cat rushes out in a panic/The joker smashes through the rear kitchen door & sticks a card in a punch-line clock/Stop the world/I've really got to get off/The joker has gotten off all right/He can't feel a thing/He puts on his filthy sauce-stained apron & gets right to work/The joker washes piles & piles of dishes/He giggles at the bubbles/He sees multi- colored Cosmic swirls in each & every one of them as they ceaselessly form & pop/The joker has clocked out to cuckoo-land/ Stop the world, I've got to get off --- Stop this dream, I've got to wake up --- Stop this anti-myth, there is no way out of this labyrithine nightmare --- I'm getting off right now --- Meanwhile, the three Japs who have been following Dogstar all over the place have moved in next to him in an adjourning cottage in "Motel 23" --- Stop ---- They have industriously set up micro-wave machinery & are continuously beaming streams of micro-waves in his direction at all hours of the day & night --- Stop --- They are extremely eager to observe what effect it will have on his nervous system --- They want to drive him crazy --- They are trying to drive him crazy --- Stop this madness --- They will do everything they can to drive him crazy ---- They well understand his paranoia & know that they will drive him crazy --- They drop over at his place --- They introduce themselves as his new neighbors --- They say they are computer students at University City --- They want to borrow a cup of sugar --- So they say --- They walk into his place --- They carefully eye the interior of his place & avidly take notes of the degradation his life has crumbled into --- It looks very promising --- They find his hidden stash & slip an experimental ingredient into it --- I want to get off --- They follow him around, his constant companions --- They are a figment of his imagination --- Dogstar refuses to concede to their reality --- They stand behind him as he washes piles of dishes --- They make cryptic comments to one another in FORTRAN --- They make recordings of his brainwaves while he is asleep, while he is awake, while he is high --- It looks very promising --- Get off while you can --- They sit beside him while he takes breaks from his hideous job in the main lounge --- They approvingly observe Stella Telestar doing her nightly unveiling --- They record her brainwaves & those of the jaded businessmen & redneck construction workers in the room --- It looks promising --- Stop the world --- They tap him on the shoulder & ask him for a Winston cigarette --- They invite themselves over to Dogstar's place after midnight --- They set up video- equipment in his place & re-run explicit pornographic material they have shot of his various antics with Stella Telestar --- For a certain sum of money, they will not release this to the world at large --- Dogstar does not give a fuck --- He's getting off fast --- When he takes hikes into the woods, they keep exactly thirty meters behind him --- They watch him through binoculars like innocent birdwatchers --- Stop the world --- Dogstar's dreams are disturbed by the constant buzzing of microwaves --- He wakes up in the middle of the morning, his head all fuzzy --- He isn't sure how much more of this he can take --- Those lousy Japs won't stop anywhere --- Please stop --- Yes, he is a very promising candidate for their mad machinations --- Stop the word --- Something very weird is going on here! Dogstar is taking a walkin the woods & a helicopter is flying over him! What did he do! It is hovering very low! It is following him! Dogstar starts to run! It is still following him! It's lights are flashing on & off! He hides in some bushes! It hovers over him! A booming voice is coming out of a loudspeaker on the helicopter! It orders him to come out with his hands up! No! No! This is outrageous! This can't be happening! No way! Dogstar refuses to surrender! He runs! O, he runs & runs! He runs up a secret hidden path only he knows about! He finds some shelter in some cliffs & hides in there! The helicopter continues to hover over him! They can't land here! It's impossible! It's too steep! Sooner or later, they will have to run out of gas! Why are they doing this to him! Why! He must be doing something illegal! He must be in an illegal state of consciousness! He must be on illegal territory! His very existence is illegal! He hides & prays that they'll just go away! Go away, you imperialistic capitalistic, militaristic, fascist pigs! You unscrupulous motherfuckers! Get the hell out of my reality! Get out of my head! This must be some kind of nightmare! He wishes he were anywhere else but here! Then the helicopter flies away! He's safe! They've left! But wait! They must have gone back to the home base for re-inforcements! He runs back down the down the path! He gets to the edge of the woods! There's a cop car there, flashing its red strobe light! He runs into the depths of the woods! He isn't safe anywhere! His very state of mind is illegal! What the hell is going on here! He pushes his way through bushes & brambles to another side of the woods! He sneaks out where there are railroad tracks! A helicopter flies right over his head! It missed him by just a few feet! A huge train is riding down the tracks towards him! A highway is nearby! There are cop cars all over the highway! They yell out through mega-phones for him to come out & surrender! No way! He runs back in the woods! The helicopter keeps right over him! They must have infra-red body detectors! There is no refuge for him! He runs! He runs! O, see how he runs! What does it all mean??? When will it all end??? Will Dogstar ever get whatever it is he wants??? Will the Dogstar ever be anything other than a dishwasher??? Did you know that Dogstar has been a dishwasher for three years??? Don't you think that's a rather long time??? Do you have any idea what is going on in this sordid story??? Do you wonder why there are all these questions??? What's the big idea about putting three question marks after each sentence??? What are questions??? What is Truth??? What is the difference between a question & the answer??? Is it that in order to find the right answer, one must ask the right question??? Is the answer implied in the question??? Whatever happened to Llang Llong, the Master mentioned earlier in this tale??? Is any of this relevant or irrelevant??? Is it reverent or irreverent??? How come Dogstar lost his enlightenment??? Is there any hidden meaning in this story- myth or is it merely some dada-istic avant-garde pretense??? How did this universe come into existence anyway??? What is the sound of one hand applauding??? Does a Dogstar have Buddha-nature??? Do you know that D-O-G spelled backwards is G-O-D??? Does that have any particular significance or is it merely a coincidence??? Does this whole universehave any particular significance or is it merely a coincidence??? Why??? Why not??? Is Dogstar a statement concerning the general condition of society??? What is society??? What is Truth??? Does the Buddha have Dogstar- Nature??? Is this all a joke or is it merely coincidence??? If it is a joke, then why is it a joke??? Why is there a 'Why?' to anything or everything??? If it is merely a coincidence, then why is it merely a coincidence??? Does every effect necessarily have a cause??? Does every cause necessarily have an effect??? Does every cause have a cause of which it is an effect??? Is there life after death??? Is there death after life??? Does DNA make RNA??? How did the DNA make itself??? Does this world really exist or is it merely a coincidence??? Why is there a 'Why?'??? Why are you sitting here reading this??? Something weird is happening here!!! Dogstar is out on the High-Way again on his motorbike & the chain breaks in half!!! He is in New Salem!!! He pushes it up a very steep hill & the bottom of the engine comes loose!!! The tire has gone flat!!! The battery has gone dead!!! Everything is going wrong at once!!! The piston is rattling & clanking in the chamber!!! The bike is jinxed!!! There are witches in New Salem who have cursed it!!! The bike is ruined!!! There is no way it will be fixed!!! Dogstar will never be able to get along without his bike!!! He will be permanently stuck in the cottage in Wheatfield at Motel 23 in Cloud 9 Lounge!!! He must have a curse on him for this to happen to him!!! He is stuck in the night in New Salem pushing his fucked-up-to hell bike!!! A cop stops him & gives him a ticket for pushing the bike on the wrong side of the road & riding without a light!!! Dogstar yells curses at him as he drives away!!! This has got to be a nightmare!!! Witches are riding their sticks across the face of the half-moon!!! Dogstar will have to push his bike for 17 miles to get back to Wheatfield!!! He has no choice!!! A few miles down the High-Way, dark ominous clouds cover the face of the gloom-moon!!! Then it starts raining blood & frogs!!! Froggy frogs!!! Frogs are hopping all over the place!!! Slippery slimey frogs!!! The inhabitants of New Salem haven't seen anything like this is years!!! Some kids throw frogs at him!!! The frogs are squishy & pop open like bloody water-balloons on the grave gravelly pavement!!! Old men in long-johns get out on their porches with shotguns & start shooting at the frogs!!! This is insane!!! This is madness!!! This can't be happening!!! Frogs do not just start falling out of the sky!!! This must be the night of the Evil Frog Sorcerer!!! This is utterly false!!! The Mad Joker strikes again!!! It is 4:30 A.M.... All is utterly quiet... Nary a mouse nor cockroach doth stir... The Great Majority of human beings in that time zone are fast asleep... This includes the main character of this story-myth... Only his cat doth prowl randomly about, while the human which has claimed it for a pet-slave... It is avidly seeking tasty morsels in the garbage bag, scattering juicy tidbits all over the floor... Dogstar is fast, fast asleep... He is breathing very slowly... He is in Stage 4 sleep... He is in Theta-Wave Land... No thoughts... No images... Utterly oblivious... Unobvious... Then... Suddenly... Without precedent... He jerks awake... He feels very weird... Like he took too many downers... He's going to have to lay off that stuff... There is a shrill ringing in his right ear... Like a Jumbo-Dumbo Jet about to take off... Like the ejection of the Space Hustler... He reached over & attempts to turn on the light... It will not turn on for some strange reason... It is unusually dark in the room... Except for little squishy squiggly phosphorescent things wiggling in the air... Thousands & thousands of them... Dogstar tries to get up... He feels very heavy somehow... Yet he feels abnormally light... He plows through all the squiggly starry things towards the bathroom... He tries to turn on the light, but it won't turn on there either... How odd... Is the power out?... He feels like he is floating... Although the light is not on, he can see his reflection in the mirror... He sees a bunch of squiggly stars flashing on & off vaguely forming a pattern of his head & shoulders... This must be some kind of weird dream... Maybe he took way too many downers the night before... Perhaps he is sleepwalking... Yet no one has ever told him that he sleepwalks... But it's more like floating than walking... He is drifting... He drifts back to his bed... This is a very interesting dream... If that is truly what it is... What!... There is someone sleeping in his bed... How did that happen?... He drifts closer... It looks just like him!... The someone who looks like him is somewhat blue colored... Like he's dead or something... Maybe he died in his sleep... That is known to happen occasionally... But he doesn't feel dead... What the hell is going on here?... He float-walks to the front door... He should wake up sooner or later... Interesting dream... He notes that his cat is getting into the garbage again... The cat suddenly looks up in his direction, growls with sheer terror, & dashes under the table... He tries to open the door... The door does not open... His hand goes right through the doorknob... Undaunted by this obstacle, he simply slips through the door... Anything goes in a waking dream... He feels somehow naked & exposed out there... It is very early in the morning... On the eastern horizon, he sees iridescent patterns... The squiggly starry things are in the air everywhere... Hmmm, this isn't so bad... Though seemingly stark naked, he cannot feel the cold... It looks inviting... He sets off, intending to take a float-walk... He heads towards the dawn's early light... But only a few feet from his cottage, he feels something tug him abruptly from behind... It is like a rope pulling him backwards... Like a coiled spring that has been stretched out, then snapping back in place... He wakes up in his bed suddenly startled... Wow, that was a weird dream... Yet so real-seeming... This time he knows he is really awake... Or is he?... Maybe this is a dream also... He reaches over & tries to turn on the light... It does not turn on... The air is full of squiggly phosphorescent starry patterns... He floats out of bed to check it out... Here we go again... No matter how hard he tries, Dogstar is unable to get a better job$&%He hates being a goddamn dishwasher$&%It's so filthy$&%It's so humiliating$&%It's so monotonous$&%It requires absolutley no intelligence whatsoever$&%He knows he can do better than that$$$If only someone would hire him & give him a chance$&%He'd settle for a job as a stock clerk at least$&%But, no matter what he does, they won't hire him$&%Maybe it's because his feet stink$&%He goes in & fills out applications$&%They tell him to go away$&%They say they'll call him$&%They never do$&%He can read & write, he tells them$&%He is capable of filing things in alphabetical & numerical order, he tries to impress them$&%He's real good at shining shoes$&%He's very astute & intelligent, but that's the opposite of what they want$&%He once took a course in computer programming$&%He can actually add & subtract & multiply & divide$&%He might even be able to do square & triple roots & even quadratic equations, if he brushed up a little, he mentions to them hopefully$&%They ignore this & ask him how good is he at giving blow jobs$&%The boss likes one every day at mid-morning break$&%How do you feel about eating shit, Mr. Dogstar?, they casually ask him$&%Look, he can push a button as well as the next sodwhacker, he tells them$&%He could learn their simple basic bookkeeping & how to run a cash register on the first day$&%They solemnly shake their heads$&%That's not good enough$&%You've gotta have experience$&%Not only that, you look like some kind of hippie-radical-Commie-queer to me, son$&%I can see you trimmed your hair a bit, but I know your type$&%What was it they kicked you out of the army for in Vietnam?$&%Would you be willing to clarify that one, Mr. Dogstar?$&%You don't appear to be 100% American$&%You don't seem to be willing to get down on your knees & worship The Almighty Company$&%How much experience have you had at giving blow-jobs?$&%Get out of here$&%We don't want your kind here$&%The letters pile up unaminously stating more or less: Dear Mr. Dogstar: Thank you for applying to our God-Almighty Company. However, we have found someone, ahem, a bit more qualified than you. We don't feel you can match up to our rather high standards. We feel you need some brushing up on your blow-job skills. You can be anything you want in this Great Society of ours, if you only choose to. We will keep your application on file for one week & then we will throw it away. We heartily wish you lots of luck elsewhere. Sincerely, The God-Almighty Company$$$$$Dogstar tears up the letters in a rage$&%He hates them$&%He hates the bastards who are in control of the hiring$&%They don't have anything to lose$&%They get paid good money for telling him he has to be a grimy dishwasher$&%Dogstar even tries to get a haircut, wears a tie to interviews, & tries to lie convincingly$&%Unfortunately, that's not what he's very good at, which is why a better lier gets the job$&%They manage to find out about his questionable background in Vietnam$&%They wonder why he has been nothing but a dishwasher for the past three years$&%His entire background is questionable$&%He just doesn't cut it$&%Thus Dogstar has to wash dishes, wash dishes, wash dishes, till he can't stand it anymore, till he drops dead from it, till the day when he chooses to walk out & join the ranks of the permanently unemployed$&%His arms sunk in greasy water, Dogstar curses the day he was born, to experience a miserable lifetime like this$&%When's it all gonna end?$$$ The borerline between reality & fantasy is rapidly diminishing/The Joker is the Wild Card/Any resemblance between any characters in this story & any characters in real life, living, dead, living-dead, straight, stoned, or utterly beyond is purely coincidental/Anybody trying to find a moral in this story-myth will be staked out in the desert at high noon, will have their eyelids propped open with toothpicks, & will have honey poured all over their naked bodies for the wild ants to munch on/Dogstar always wanted to try it/He looks at it as an interesting sexual experience he ought to check out/He induces a young 12 year old female somewhat-androgynous-looking street urchin, whom he picks up at a street-corner party, a run-away from home, to come home with him/He offers her all the pot & downers she wants/They get stoned on some high-grade Columbian & listen to soul-corrupting heavy metal/They are so high, they get funny ideas/They remove their clothes/Dogstar kisses & licks the blond-haired, blue eyed girl all over her firm nymphet body/He sucks her pussy, licking very gently/He fingers her with Vaseline/She writhes & wiggles/He licks the prepubescent juices/He makes an attempt to penetrate her tight young pussy/But she is not ready for that stage yet/ /Holding tightly onto her wrists, Dogstar never-the-less comes, wrenching violently/They do downers & lie with their bodies together/This is an interesting game, the kid said/The whole thing felt odd, but not too bad/Another unusual sexual experience/They fall asleep to heavy metal blasting out of the speakers/By dawn, the kid is gone/The bag of high-grade Columbian on his dresser is also gone/"You have to experience everything," explains the Joker/"You must experience the Outer-Most to experience the Inner-Most."/ (Dogstar, where are you?) (Dogstar, what are you doing?) (Dogstar, why are you living this way?) --- His inner voice beseeches him on & on, like a nagging fishwife, but he does not hear --- He refuses to hear --- It is New Year's Eve, another year is passing, but Dogstar is not aware of it --- Dogstar is knocked out on pain-killers in his crabby easy chair popping springs --- He is smoking some really high-grade hasheesh & listening to fantastic music on his wired-up umbilical cord being pumped in endless streams into his headphones --- He is drinking a fifth of cheery cherry brandy & he is puffing away on Indonesian clove cigarettes like they were going to go out of style the next day --- He has one record stacked on top of another & he plans to listen all night long --- All around there are various kinds of New Year's parties, but Dogstar doesn't want to go to them --- He has better things to do with his time --- They're whooping it up over in Cloud 9, setting off firecrackers, howling at the dancing girls like rabid wolves --- They are smashing champagne bottles over the counter --- None of that for him --- Perhaps when midnight comes, he'll sneak into the kitchen from the rear & break a pile of dishes or two --- Then there'll be less of the damn things to wash --- Let 'em eat off the floor like the dogs they are --- Smoke swirls up from his tiny pipe --- Every cell of his body is tingling with bliss --- He is high above the concerns of the menial world --- He is vaguely aware that he is slowly killing himself, but it does not matter to him --- In the meantime, as ashtrays overflow with clove cigarettes, his inner voice makes attempt after attempt to reach him --- (Dogstar, is this any way to live your life?) (Dogstar, don't you want to save the world?) (Dogstar, people are suffering & dying everywhere) (Dogstar, don't you care?) (Don't you want to help them?) (Dogstar, how can you be so utterly insensitive?) --- Oh, shut up!, Dogstar mutters back to his inner voice, as he stuffs more hasheesh into his pipe --- While he is at it, he snorts up a line of high-grade Bolivian cocaine --- Man, he is really ripped! --- He can see every note of the music which is roaring into his headphones --- (Dogstar, where are you?) (Dogstar, we know all about you.) (C'mon, out of your shell, Dogstar, you silly boy) (Dogstar, what in the world are you doing?) --- Dogstar sticks a finger into his right ear --- Something must have gotten into it --- Maybe he's getting that Japanese radio station they'd been broadcasting at his apartment lately --- He quickly slugs down a glass of brandy & turns the volume up on his stereo --- It is all the way up --- So is the Dog-Star --- Can't get any higher than this --- He lights up another harsh foreign cigarette --- (Dogstar, come back) (Dogstar, come down) (Wake up, Dogstar) (Oh, please wake up Dogstar) (Dogstar, when are you going to wake up out of your dreamy life-trance?) --- There's a Joker in every Pack XXX The Joker is the Wild Card XXX It can be assigned any value you want it to have XXX Doggy-Star is flat on the floor XXX Stella Telestar is sitting upon his face XXX He is licking her throbbing clitoris XXX His nose is buried in her ass-crack XXX She commands him to lick her ass XXX He does so XXX It smells musky-sweet in there XXX She commands him to stick his tongue into her Isis XXX He does so XXX He sticks it in as far as it will go & moves his tongue around in a circular motion XXX He tastes salt & blood, steamy essence of the Great Ocean we have left behind XXX He slides his tongue in & out, slowly & with tender loving care XXX Stella begins to moan XXX He inserts a finger up her asshole XXX He pushes it inside towards her vulva XXX He laps her clitoris like a water-starved wolf that has been in a cunt-dry desert for days who has discovered a cool, clear pond XXX He inserts three fingers into her pulsating Isis XXX He inceases the motion of his tongue XXX She begs him to hurry it up XXX She is beginning to come XXX Her legs wrap around his face XXX So tightly, it is getting hard for him to breathe in those nethermost female zones XXX Do people ever get strangled this way? XXX If so, it would not be a bad way to go XXX From the Great Womb, we emerge & to the Great Womb, we return XXX Always keep coming back for more & more XXX She shudders convulsively, impulsively XXX She's getting There XXX She gasps XXX One final heave & she comes XXX She comes & comes & comes XXX We always come back for more XXX It is never-ending XXX Protoplasmic Slime, the Wine of Isis, flows all over Dogstar's face XXX He drinks it in with willing eagerness XXX Anyone under 21 caught reading this will be summarily shot at the crack of dawn XXX We don't want you getting any funny ideas XXX The Management XXX Stella Telestar & Dogstar are getting it on XYZ Stella is gently sliding the tip of her tongue up & down the entire length of Dogstar's fully erect shimmering pulsating Lucifer XYZ She works her way lower & takes his hairy balls into her mouth & hums a well- known blues tune XYZ She gets behind him & gives him long loving lionine licks up & down the crevice of his ass XYZ She swirls her tongue around his asshole XYZ She returns to his shimmering Lucifer & takes the throbbing head into the warm salivating interior of her mouth XYZ She teases the sandpaper-textured tissue there by licking her tongue around & around XYZ She laps away the clear drops that have gathered there XYZ She covers the entire organ with her mouth-womb XYZ She takes it deep into her throat & squeezes his balls, simultaneously wiggling a finger in the crevice of his ass just behind them XYZ Dogstar can't take it anymore XYZ He creams hot come into the depths of her accommodating esophogus XYZ Note: This is not appropriate reading material for anyone under 21 XYZ We must preserve the purity of essence of our nation's youth at all costs XYZ The Management XYZ One night, Dogstar is approached by a very rich man in Cloud 9 Lounge &&& The very rich man offers him $50 to come home with him & perform unspeakable acts of oral outrage upon his person &&& Dogstar casually sips his drink & pops a yellow pill &&& He thinks it over &&& He sees some possibilities for some sort of material acquisition here &&& He responds that he is flattered, but the rich man had better make it $100 &&& The slobbering rich man, having plenty of bounty to dispense (though he did not pay as great a portion of his taxes as the average wage-earner, though that's another story), is only too eager to comply &&& He even offers to make it $250 &&& Dogstar was pretty drunk anyway, from all the fancy souped-up drinks the rich man kept buying him &&& He didn't give a fuck &&& Don't care what I am or what I am, goes the old song, nor do I care who I screw &&& They are riding in the back of the rich man's chauffeur-driven pearl-studded Rolls-Royce Deluxe &&& The rich man feels between Dogstar's legs &&& It's kind of an interesting change of tables, being a female-object, experiencing what it is like to be a whore &&& They wind up in a super-duper luxurious house in the suburbs of University Town &&& He must be a trustee of the whole University &&& He's probably on the city council &&& He's probably a 33^ Mason &&& He's probably going to run for mayor next year &&& The luxurious house is fitted in style with six-inch deep sheepskin rugs, a video set, automatic bartender, quadrophrenic sound system, top-of-the-line personal computer, among other expensive toys &&& The rich man reveals his secret stash of cocaine & turns him on to some &&& He lays Doggystar out on the lushious sheepskin rug, removes his pants, & gives him a long, drawn-out blow-job &&& After a long somewhat boring interval, having some trouble getting into this, since he is so drunk, Doggystar comes, thinking about a 12 year-old street urchin somewhere &&& Dogstar experimentally nibbles on the rich man's flacid penis, but the rich man seems to have trouble getting it up &&& They take a break & snort some more cocaine &&& The rich man has a prime main-line connection from an American-protected South American Republic &&& They gorge themselves on caviar & treat themselves to sweet, expensive imported liquors &&& The rich man puts on some X-rated video cassette movies that have a lot of sex & violence in them &&& They smoke some Hawaiian sinsemilla &&& There is some particularly gory violence on the video screen about some tenants chopping off the head of a landlord & then butt-fucking the corpse &&& Later on, he somehow finds himself sprawled-out face-down on the sheepskin rug &&& The rich man, turned on by the violence on the video, is sliding his dick in & out his ass &&& Doggystar is getting reamed by a 33^ Mason Republican cocaine dealer &&& As soon as the rich man comes, he passes out &&& Dogstar idly wanders around the house to see what the rich man has &&& It is nearly dawn &&& It has been a long night &&& He finds the keys to the Rolls-Royce &&& He puts them in his pocket &&& He gets all the cocaine & sinsemilla in a garbage bag &&& He finds a thousand dollars on the table & puts that in the garbage bag &&& He casually walks out of the mansion- house as though taking out the garbage &&& He gets in the Rolls-Royce & drives away &&& Later, he dumps the Rolls Royce by driving it into a golf-course pond in the rich people's suburbun country club &&& All creatures steal from other creatures &&& You've gotta get your kicks somehow &&& It is at the stroke of Mid-Night... Dogstar is sitting upon the center of the floor... The candles are burning brightly... One candle is scarlet... One is blue... The third is yellow... The plot is thickening... We're laying it on quite thickly here... Dogstar is playing cards... Tarot Cards, that is... The cat stares at the candle-flames & purrs intensively... Dogstar shuffles the cards & chants an ancient invocation... He closes his eyes & lays the cards on the floor... He lays them out in the prescribed set... The candle-light flickers... He opens his eyes to behold what is laying there... The first Card is the Devil... Uh, oh, that sounds kind of scary... This means that he is going to have to experience "Evil" to its uttermost depths... The next Card is The Tower... Hmmm, more trouble ahead... This means his whole world is going to collapse upon him... The third Card is The Wheel of Fortune... It is upside-down... Oh, boy, this portends ill indeed... The fourth card is The Hanged Man... This means he is going to have to sacrifice something... He has a feeling he knows what it's going to be... The fifth Card is The Hermit... Perhaps that indicates he is going to go into seclusion for awhile, some kind of spiritual retreat maybe... The sixth card is The Magician... Not bad, maybe he will attain some sort of Magical Powers... Something strange is happening here.. And finally the seventh Card which will determine the whole pivot upon which the others will revolve is:
Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha!Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! ("Balls! Balls!" cried The Queen. "If I had any, I'd be The King!") ("Does a dog have Buddha-nature?" said the White Rabbit to the Door-Mouse.) ("The Questions are always the Answers, sire," replied the Door-Mouse.) This is outrageous! This is exciting! This is more like it! This is crazy! This is diabolical! This is sick! This must be some sort of Mad Hatter's Joke! But listen: Isn't this a whole lot more interesting than all that boring stuff at the beginning of this novel? Isn't this just chock-full of extremely explicit sex & gory glorious violence? Isn't this just what the American Reading Republic really wants? Isn't this just what makes bestsellers? Isn't all this nasty, icky sex & nauseating violence so much more fun than beautiful views & meditative experiences? Isn't this exactly what you fantasize about in your most secret of lives? Isn't this just what you wouldn't want your friends, relatives, co-workers, & business associates to know about? Wouldn't life lose its lucious spice if there were no Evil? Remember: The Joker is the Wild Card/The Joker is the Random Factor/The Joker is the Non-Precision which screws up every so-called "Constant"/There are no Constants/There are only Variables/The Constants are under- going constant variation/Variation is the only un-reliable variable/Everything is relative to everything else/The Joker is playing Dice with the Universe/What makes you so sure that the speed of light doesn't vary just a teensey-weesey little itty bit every now & then?/What makes you so sure it doesn't waver a bit off in another part of the universe?/Sort of throws the whole thing off, doesn't it?/Throws havoc with the calculations/Can't have that kind of sin-full imprecision/It's just not consistent/Now: Does the Buddha have God-Nature?/Does God have Buddha-Nature?/Nothing is quite what it seems to be/One final bit of advice: Doubt --- Doubt everything you see --- Doubt everything your senses tell you --- Doubt your seemingly "common" sense --- Doubt everything you are reading --- Doubt even this --- Doubt even your doubt --- Doggy-Star is going berserko///He has no choice///Society did it to him///He is all fucked-up on a nearly fatal combination of speed & donwers///He is wrecking havoc with his nervous system///He is playing Cat-&-Mouse with his mind///It is the maddening Christ-Mass season again & Dogstar is prowling around the rich people's suburbs shooting out Christmas tree lights with this BB-pistol he swiped from a hardware store///He can't stand it///He doesn't like the rich people anyway///What the hell did they ever do for him?///He throws rocks thru their windows///He pisses on their flower beds///He paints his name in scarlet on their Cadillacs///He sets off cheery cherry bombs on their front porches///Why shouldn't he?///They won't give him a good job///They treat him like scum///So why shouldn't he treat them like the scum they are?///He's going to have to get his revenge somehow///He slashes their tires///He pours heaping helpings of white sugar down their gas tanks///It really improves engine performance, they say///He seduces their daughters///He sells mind-fucking drugs to their kids///There's absolutely nothing he won't do///There's no stopping the Dog-Star when he's on a Mission from the Devil///He ties firecrackers to their cat's tails///He breaks in their houses & helps himself to their brandy-parlor///He uses his fist wrapped in a towel to put holes in their color T.V.'s///He pukes on their fancy oriental rugs///He chops up their furniture to bits///He sets fire to their stupid upper-middle-class houses///Fucking rich people///What good did they ever do him?///He's gonna go on all night///The Dog-Star is on a Rampage///The Dog-Star is on a Mission from the Joker///He's gonna go on all night & he's never gonna stop///He'll get his sweet revenge///He'll make them pay & pay, the fuckers///He's not responsible for his actions///Society did it to him///The rich people did it to him///Now he's gonna do it to them/// Eat the rich @@@ Eat a landlord for lunch @@@ Have you killed your boss today? @@@ Dogstar kicks in the glass door of The Company @@@ He ties up the secretary face down on the top of the front desk & casually rapes her @@@ He grins & makes sure she loves every minute of it @@@ Keeping her tied up for awhile, he suddenly storms through the door into the inner sanctum where the boss is hiding from the outer world @@@ How seemingly secure he is in there @@@ Dogstar points a .45 Luger Automatic pistol at the boss @@@ Dogstar grandly announces: "I hear there's an opening for your job today." @@@ "It's all over town." @@@ "It's been decided by the Chairman of the Bored that you must be immediately replaced." @@@ "How do you like that, Mr. Bossy Wossy?" @@@ "As of right now, you are going to be demoted to being the company janitor." @@@ "So how do you like that, uh huh, uh huh?" The big boss is scared shitless @@@ He just wasn't expecting anything like this today @@@ He promptly pooh-poohs right in his Brooker's Brothers pants @@@ He is utterly speechless @@@ Dogstar unleashes the safety catch & points the gun menacingly at him @@@ "Go on," he commands. "I'm the boss right now. Get out from behind that desk & sit on this chair, just as if I were interviewing you." @@@ They trade places @@@ Dogstar luxuriates at how comfortable & plushy the cushioned easy chair is @@@ Still pointing the gun, he helps himself to a Havana cigar & lights up @@@ He puts his feet up on top of the massive mahogany desk @@@ "Now, you look like a real Shithead to me & that's how I'm going to address you from now on." @@@ He takes a puff on the cigar & goes on: "Now, Mr. Shithead, I'm a bit sceptical whether you have the qualifactions for this job or not, but since I'm a generous man, I'm going to give you a whack at it." @@@ "Now, Mr. Shithead," he addresses the cowering ex-boss, "have you ever scrubbed floors before?" @@@ The ex-boss shakes his head, about to cry @@@ "What!? You're applying for a job as a janitor & you've never scrubbed floors before?" @@@ "Have you ever wiped out toilets before? We do like to keep our toilets nice & clean." @@@ Again, the ex-boss shakes his head @@@ "No? Well, I tell you what, Mr. Shithead, I don't usually hire people without experience, but in your case, I think I'm going to be graciously merciful. I'll put you on the toilet-cleaning staff & I'll pay you $3.00 a week plus all the shit you can eat. Now, come with me. I'm going to show you where your work-station is." @@@ Dogstar points the gun at his head & motions him to march ahead of him @@@ "Uh, we're going to be detained for the afternoon, Ms. Smith," he says in passing to the secretary tied up spread-eagled on top of the front desk. "PLease be sure to cancel all appointments for the rest of the day." @@@ He leads the ex-boss into the executive washroom & into one of the toilet stalls @@@ He orders him to kneel down & look into the toilet bowl @@@ There are shit- stains & a piss-ring around the edge of the water @@@ "Look at this, Mr. Shithead, this is an utter disgrace to the Company Image! We need a man like you to keep out toilets nice & clean. After all, we executives who run the Company can't be expected to have to look at mundane stuff like this. You're not quite advanced enough to be trusted with a scrub-brush. So your job today is to stick out your tongue, get down there, & use it to lick all that shit away. Make sure you get those piss stains, too. Lick it nice & clean." @@@ Dogstar puts the muzzle of the gun to the ex-boss's head to give him further incentive @@@ He puffs on his cigar & watches until he is satisfied the job is done & done thoroughly, then directs him to lick the next one @@@ This Mr. Shithead is quite an avid worker when given the proper push @@@ He shows promise; maybe in a few months, he'll promote him to the position of executive blow-job giver @@@ Eat the rich @@@ Eat a landlord for lunch @@@ The following is going to be another XXX-rated scene XXX So you better not look, you naughty under-agers or else Daddy won't buy you a brand-new Karma Ghia XXX There is no difference between reality & fantasy XXX The Management XXX They are in the darkest recesses of the dungeon XXX The old stone walls are moist & have a strange fungus-growth all over them XXX Dogstar has Stella Telestar chained by all four limbs face-down on a cold stone slab XXX He can do anything he wants to her XXX He has her completely in his power XXX He selects a slender birch-rod from the collection of fine whipping instruments rack-mounted on the wall XXX A strange glowing fungus growth grows all over them XXX The torches roar & flicker XXX Dogstar slides his black-gloved hand lovingly over Stella's smooth bare ass XXX He then proceeds to switch her rapidly over the cheeks of her ass XXX Stella writhes & makes whimpering noises through her gag XXX His Lucifer becomes fully erect as the cheeks of her derriere turn a delightful pink from the whipping XXX He cruelly & mercilessly slashes the whip between her legs, hitting precisely the tip of the clitoris XXX Stella wrenches against the chains holding her, whimpering a cry with each well-placed blow XXX Her nervous system is transforming impulses of pain into impulses of pleasure XXX She gasps, shuuders, & comes all over the cold slab XXX It hurts so much, yet it feels so good XXX The gag pops out & she begs him to desist whipping her & pleads with him to fuck her, to fuck her good, she's been such a bad little girl, she deserves to be fucked XXX Dogstar inserts the tip of his shimmering Lucifer between the cheeks of her blushing derriere into the pink little asshole in the deep, dark, dank crack XXX He plunges the full length in XXX It is a good tight fit XXX Then he lightly whips her meanwhile across the small of her back, giving her the fucking she desperately needs, fucking her & fucking her until both she & he come with furious violence XXX The dungeon room becomes filled with the rancid smell of her shit XXX The walls & corridors of the dungeon echo reverberatingly with their cries, their gasps, their screams, their shrieks XXX O, ho, ho, ho OOO O, look at what has happened OOO O, how the border between reality & fantasy has slipped away into White-Rabbit Land OOO O, what a Wild, Wild card the Joker is as he calls out the shouting shots OOO They are back in the dark, dank, dirty dungeon again OOO Stella Telestar has Doggy-Star chained up by all four limbs face-down on a cold stone slab that has a strange glowing fungus growth all over it OOO She is dressed up in a black leather outfit which leaves her Isis & breasts bare OOO He is completely bereft of that protective armor of modern man called "clothes" OOO He is completely within her power OOO She can do anything she likes to him OOO She selects a heavy horsewhip from the collection of whipping- instruments on the rack OOO She slashes him across his hairy ass & the small of his back OOO She revels in pleasure as bloody X's form on his back OOO She fingers herself all the while OOO Dogstar shrieks & the sound echoes down the long, dark, dank corridors of the dungeon OOO Stella whips out a ten-inch vibrator, turns it on, & sticks it up her Isis to get it lubricated OOO She roughly plunges it up Doggy- Star's ass OOO Doggy-Star screams & screams as she stabs him anally again & again OOO She plunges it in to the hilt OOO She ties a leather cord around his balls & yanks forcefully on it OOO O, how things are getting out of hand here OOO O, how Doggy-Star shrieks & screams! OOO Yet, underneath all this, his Lucifer is fully erect against the stone slab OOO The tip of it is buried in the gritty shining fungus OOO He continually writhes, trying to escape OOO Stella, continuing to finger herself, takes a white-hot branding iron out of a fire blazing torrentially next to the slab OOO She carefully aims, than places it firmly on his right ass-cheek OOO It sizzles fiercely as it comes into contact with the flesh OOO Dogstar screeches OOO A white-hot Celtic cross has been branded on his right ass-cheek OOO This is cheeky business here OOO She selects another branding iron & brands his left cheek with an upright triangle OOO Dogstar screeches in utter agony OOO Stella slyly smiles OOO He cannot escape OOO He is completely within her power OOO She pulls out a third brand & places it sizzling & crackling against the small of his back OOO It is the sign of two serpents intertwined OOO Dogstar screams a long, drawn-out cry, shoots off gallons of silver come into the grating fungus of the slab, & promptly passes out from the intensity of the pain-pleasure current which is flowing up his spinal cord into his brain OOO Stella, still fingering herself, gets off simultaneously OOO O, what a Joke it all is OOO O ho, ho, ho OOO Tonight, they're really getting their act together *** The Catatonic Blues Band is playing blue mood-music *** The lead guitarist plays the same chord over & over again *** E-minor *** The lead singer sings & croaks in a cracked voice & occasionally weeps *** The chorus girls hum along out of key in diabolical intervals *** The key- boardist plays a fugue in white noise *** The Mongolian Idiot drummer idly plays a beat with each twang of the guitar *** The bass player hits lowest E over & over with each twang of E-minor *** With each twang of E-minor, the lead singer wails out verse upon verse of truly inspired gibberish: Why is there sadness? Why is there badness? Why is there gladness? Why is there madness? Why? Why? Why? Why can't I die? Why is there life? Why is there death? Why is there love? Why is there hate? Why? Why? Why? I want to die. Why is there suffering? Why is there buffering? Why is there war? Why is there peace? Why? Why? Why? Why must I die? Why is there sickness? Why is there wellness? Why is there richness? Why is there poorness? Why? Why? Why? Why can't I cry? Why is there crying? Why is ther dying? Why is there lying? Why is there hiding? Why? Why? Why? I am the sky. There are no constants XXX There are only variables XXX Dogstar is back at his faithful post washing the dishes again XXX He has been washing those same dishes 3 nights a week for 3 years now XXX Perhaps ther3e is s3ome hidd3en sign3ificance he3re XXX He stares into the bubbles XXX He wonders when or if he will ever get out of this XXX All he has to entertain himself with this evening while washing the dishes is his fantasies XXX Such as ritually murdering landlords or making top company executives lick up shit or sado-masochistic scenes in deep, dark dungeons XXX He gets a little help from his drugs & Stella Telestar XXX Speaking of Stella, she comes in with a load of dishes XXX She hugs him from behind & presses her bare breasts against his bare sweating back XXX "Working too hard?" she breathes against his spine XXX "Yeah, I'm working too hard. I'm working way too hard," he mutters as he pops a pill & slugs down some stale left-over beer XXX She does not release him XXX She reaches around & slips both hands down the front of his dishwater-soaked pants XXX She manipulates the tip of his throbbing hard-on XXX She slides her hands up his abdomen & tweaks his erogenous nipples which have become erect XXX He turns around XXX He looks at her own erect nipples & laps at them like the Dog he is XXX "Why don't we have a quickie," she suggests XXX "The Management doesn't give a fuck." XXX "All those horny men out there ooogling my body have gotten me quite hot all over." XXX "We can do it in five minutes flat." XXX They shut the kitchen entrance door & pile utility tables against it XXX He gets her up on the steel table for washed-up dishes XXX He slips his pants down & she pulls her G-string aside XXX Quickly, he fucks her XXX She enjoys the feel of steamy steel against her ass XXX She gasps out in pleasure as she simultaneously fingers her clit XXX There is a banging on the kitchen door as they bang away XXX "What the hell is going on in there?" screams Harry the Hairy Proprietor of this joint XXX Stella gasps, tightens up, & comes XXX Someone tries to force their way through the door XXX Dogstar shoots off XXX Stella is ready to face the Main Lounge again XXX She slips her G-string back in place, they remove the tables, & she hops back out XXX Later, she gives Hairy Harry a blowjob in the Manager's Office to placate him XXX This has been another hot & wet X-rated fantasy brought to you by The Management XXX Anyone under 21 caught in the act of masturbating with baited worm breath will have their genitals sliced off & will have their eyes put out with a hot iron XXX So watch out! XXX This means You! XXX This is very strange... This is very marvelous... This is very obscene... This is very maddening... This is very pointless... It is Ladies Night at Cloud Nine Lounge... Dogstar is up on the stage wearing nothing but a silver jock-strap & a silver cape & silver high-heel boots... He is billed as the "Silver Man"... He feels sort of embarrassed... The ladies are gazing at him in awe & wonder... What a beautiful body he has... What fine muscles he has... The strobe lights are flashing slowly... The first part of Pink Floyd's "Wish You Were Here" is playing... A strange multi-tonal synthesizer piece which Dogstar requested for this set... Dogstar has his arms stretched out... He is pantomiming what he thinks the music looks like... He loses his feeling of self- consciousness & becomes oblivious of the female audience... He feels like he is taking off into outer space... It is all so surreal... He had to get really stoned in order to go through with this... This is probably the first time anything like this has gone on in Cloud 9 Lounge on Ladies Night... Usually, they have muscle-men lifting barbells in tune to Elvis Presley songs... But now that Dogstar is up here, he finds that he is actually getting into it... He feels strangely turned-on by the desire he feels towards him from the audience... It's as though he were a femal object... The music gets faster... He picks up the pace of his frantic antics... He dances wildly... He makes fists & strikes out with each beat of the music... He picks out a pair of eyes in the audience & gazes at them as though he were their long-lost lover... His Lucifer grows boldly erect behind his silver jockstrap... His rippling muscles are exposed under the glare of the speeding-up strobe light... It is getting time for the Climax of the Act... He turns around & shows them his ass... He shows them his ass-tatoos - the Celtic Cross, the Triangle, the Inter-Twined Serpents... Several of the ladies, who have had a bit too much to drink, get excited & whistle... "TAKE IT OFF! TAKE IT OFF!" they hoot & holler at him... Very well, he slyly smiles, he will comply with their incessant demands... He will give them their money's worth... They had to pay a pretty penny to get in here & for the drinks... He wonders how Stella Telestar feels when she's up here... He feels like he's in a dram dream... He slowly & craftily pulls down the top of his jock-strap & displays to them the throbbing head of his shining silver shimmering Lucifer... He prays that there are no fastidious members of the local area's vice squad watching out for this type of thing tonight... They whistle wildly & throw cocktail napkins at him... He teases them... He tantalizies them... With his Shining Lucifer, he plays them like puppets on his G- string... The plot is steadily thickening now (*) The gruel is bubbling & popping with numerous nefarious ingrediants (*) Prophets are foretelling the End of The World (*) People are striking for Lost Causes in the streets (*) Dogstar is going mad (*) He is wandering down the Main Street of University Town (*) He is going madder & madder (*) He wonders what is in store for him this time (*) He didn't want to born in this world again (*) Is there any way out? (*) The streets are glazed with sheer ice (*) A chill 000 wind howls down from the Northern-Most Pole (*) Another Ice Age is being foretold (*) There are massive power failures all thru the North-East (*) There's not enough heat to go around (*) People are breaking into offices & smashing furniture to burn for warmth (*) They battle over who gets to huddle next to the warmth (*) The earth is losing all its warmth (*) O, how are the Eskimos faring right now in their houses of ice? (*) Meanwhile, in front of the post office of University Town, Dogstar is rudely accosted by an obnoxious placard-carrying (the placard says: WE MUST EVOLVE BEFORE IT IS TOO LATE!) midget who forces him to take a photo-copied handout he is giving away, which has the following obscure diagram on it: UNIVERSAL CONSCIOUSNESS \ \ \ \ \ SELF-EVOLVING MACHINES \ / SAPIENT BEINGS ^ \ CRYSTALS PLANTS ANIMALS SELF-EXTINCTION \ \ / METALS PROTOPLASM \ / ROCKS WATER \ / PLANETS ^ STELLAR SYSTEMS ^ GALAXIES ^ BIG BANG ^ OM-POINT THE DEVIL - Card No. XV - What a grumpy lump he is - What a party pooper - What a dour, sour expression the bastard has upon his face -The Devil is symbolic of knowledge - Knowledge can be rightly or wrongly used - The Devil always uses it wrongly, of course - He has to keep up appearances - The Devil controls the world - The Devil lays down the Law - All are prisoners of the Devil's Law - No one is exempt from the Devil's Laws - Except those who sell Him their soul, of course - Appearances must be maintained at all costs - The upside-down pentacle hangs over his head - Everything is upside-down in the Realm of Matter, the Devil's Domain - Right is wrong & wrong is right - Good is bad & bad is good - Left is right & right is left -He has horns & batty- wings - He has fur-covered legs with claws rather than feet - This has got to be done right - Undoubtably this evolutionary throw-back is a legacy from the dinosaur days, when the Devil also had his hey-day - The Devil has been rather tightly controlling things for quite awhile now - It is He who makes all the useless & pointless Laws, then encourages his subjects to break them, then punishes them fiercely, cruelly, & mercilessly forever & ever if they do break them - Nice of him, isn't it? - The subjects of the Devil are damned if they do, & they are damned if they don't - The Devil is the Universe's foremost & original corrupt politician - The Devil is the depravity of the blood- orgy - Gotta keep up those appearances - In this particular Tarot Card, designed especially for this book, the Devil has his two subjects chained to his alter - On the right, he has Stella Telestar chained - On the left, he has Dogstar also in bondage - All night long, they are brutally forced to fuck & fuck, endlessly compelled to eat one another out, or they will be horribly tortured - Rats will eat their brains out - They have absolutely no choice in this realm of matter - They are bound to the inexorable Law of Opposites - They are trapped in one another's organs of sexuality - They do have the perfect excuse for this obscene behavior - The Devil made them do it - Ah! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! ----- THE TOWER - Card No. XVI - The Tower comes tumbling down - The whole cookie is crumbling - The Joker has gone Wild - All conceptions of the universe are false - The swift lightning bolt of Stark Reality strikes asunder the Illusion - What is built up must surely come crashing down - Like Dogstar is crashing in this book - He wishes the world would come to a halt - He wishes he could stop the world - The world is going hay-wired - War is being declared between the major nations of the world - This is usual - Those who protest are thrown into the deepest, darkest dungeons, forced to commit obscene depraved sexual acts on one another or rats will eat their brains out - Modern civilization is coming apart from within - People are going crazy in the streets - All havoc is breaking loose - Midgets are handing out pamphlets in the streets which say: WE MUST EVOLVE BEFORE IT IS TOO LATE! - Anti-sugar fanatics are striking against Twinkie-factories, blowing them up - Militant Hare Krishna Monkeys machine- gun down meat-eaters in steak restaurants - Children are taught to crawl in a hole & never come out - They spend their whole lives in cellar holes, tossed a few table scraps every now & then - They are blind from never having seen the light - Bugs Bunny is a Drag Hag, chain-smoking Winston cigarettes in smoky bar-cellars - Micky Mouse is a raving terrorist hurling Molotov-cocktails from the top of the Empire State Building - The Hare Krishna Monkeys threaten to blow up the Statue of Liberty unless all meat is once & for all declared illegal - London Bridge is falling down - Dogstar is in an abandoned alley, shooting up heroin - He is seeing lizards all over the walls - Pluto rules over Hell with a sour, dour expression on his face - Arabs are setting their oil fields on fire to spite their customers - They feel they aren't appreciated enough - State-of-the-art computers are guiding nuclear missles to within a fraction of a millimeter of their intended destinations - The biosphere is being utterly demolished by the devilish sapient creatures it has spawned - God, of course, is dead - The Nazis have come back to power & reign supreme - All dissidents from the Law are forced to live out their lives in dark, dank holes, living on table scraps & garbage, fucking each other's brains out before the rats get them - There is no meaning what-so-ever to the universe - Life is all a big accident - Everything is flying apart - There is no turning back now - It is too late - We never evolved in time ----- THE MOON - Card No. XVIII - All is utterly & hopelessly lost - Not a shred of hope is there anywhere to be found - It is the Dark Side of the Soul - O, how the whimpering dogs howl & howl at the bloody moon - Both the wild wolf & dear old Rover belt out their wails of pain & agony at that blasphemous orb in the sky - How the Moon snickers & laughs at the plight of us mere mortals below - The Moon does not care - Eight-legged, double-clawed crustaceans crawl out of the cold water, strangely attracted to the malign light - Far away in the faint grey distance, two towers stand - They are completely uninhabited - A figure can be seen by those who have eyes to see - He peers around the edge of one of the towers - Then he dashes back & forth from one tower to the other - He dashes back & forth so swiftly, he is a mere blur - This is The Joker, up to his usual wild tricks, as usual - Appearances must be kept up at all costs - Meanwhile, the Dogstar continues to crash inexorably to the final conclusion of his dreadful fate - O, how long is the dark night - O, how dark & dank is the long, long night - It is getting around that God is dead - Hitler is alive & well & rules the world at the left hand of the Devil - The Devil has won at last - The guided missles have reached their destinations with flying colors - There are no survivors anywhere - Everything is covered feet-deep in radio-active ash - The Moon grows bigger & bigger in the sky Dog crashes to the expanding sea-tides - There is no more warmth - There is no more light - O, how eternal is the Infinite Darkness - Will dawn's early light never come? ------ Dogstar is selling drugs in a local yokel bar///A drunken rich lady sits beside him///She is wearing a long, white silk dress & a diamond necklace///She wants Qualludes///She wants lots & lots of them///Dogstar sells her a tremendous quantity///Her doctor refused to prescribe them to her anymore & she couldn't buy him off, she says///She nods off her stool a bit///She forgets where she is & who she is with///She thinks Dogstar is the reincarntion of Elvis Presley///She nuzzles seductively up to him & asks him if he'd like to come home with her///Dogstar says sure, he'll try anything once (as long as it's not too kinky)///She drives him drunkenly & swervingly back to her place///She grabs him by the hand & leads him into a plush mansion on the out- skirts of University Town///She puts on some soft, easy-listening Muzack & serves him & herself some Almoretto///She gets down to business///She asks him to remove his pants & gives him a prime blowjob///She drools lovingly all over it///She pulls up her dress & asks him to lick her cunt///Dogstar gets down to business///She will pay him well for it///All he has to do is act like he's the reincarnation of Elvis Presley///He laps away at it///She seems to like what he is doing///She passes out every now & then///When she has come & come to somewhat, she leads him into her special recreation room///It is a room which is filled with all kinds of sexually tit-tillating devices///She has him tie her up by four chains hanging from the ceiling///She requests that he whip her on her clitoris///Then she wants him to insert a ten-inch vibrator up within her///Next, she wants him to get down on his knees & stick his tongue into her vagina///Finally, she wants him to stand up & rock her swinging from the chains back & forth over the length of his throbbing, shimmering Lucifer///She wants him to fuck her brains out before the rats get them///She smiles broadly with great pleasure///She looks like she's having a lot of fun///After she comes with great gasps & shudders, she passes out, still hanging from the chains///Dogstar never even found out her name///It looks like she married an old millionaire who died of heart failure, undoubtably due to her voracious sexual appetites, shortly after their marriage///Dogstar wanders around her house to see what there is///He goes through her bedroom drawers & steals some diamond necklaces he finds there///He figures he is entitled to some compensation to what he just had to go thru there///He goes out with his booty & kindly leaves her a "Thank You" note/// It is time for an intermission here>>>It is time to discuss the philosophical implications of this section of the book>>>First of all, it must be stated that nothing in this section, "CRASHING", is real>>> This must be terribly confusing to the average reader>>>This just isn't your typical page-turner with a neat beginning, middle, & end, a straight-forward plot with a lot of twists & turns until there is some sort of satisfactory resolution (if it's a happy novel) or tragic non-resolution (if it's not such a happy novel)>>>Now, Dogstar didn't really go around destroying rich people's houses;;;he didn't really steal the rich lady's diamonds;;;he didn't really seduce the young street urchin;;;he didn't really sacrifice the landlord to the Devil;;;nor did he really wind up shooting heroin>>>These are merely constructs>>>This is all fiction, you see, & being such, just about anything can happen>>>You see, these are all different aspects of what Dogstar could have become, if things had pushed him one way or the other>>>They are merely possibilities>>>What is really happening all this time is Dogstar is spending night after night washing the dishes, occasionally getting it on with Stella Telestar, wishing the winter would hurry up & get itself over with>>>Etc.,etc.,etc.>>>As a way of killing time, he has all these weird fantasies to get him thru his bitterness about his whole damned situation>>>Do you get it yet?>>>Please don't let all this confuse you>>>In this section of the book, there is no difference between reality & fantasy>>>But the basic metaphysical question this raises, of course, is just what, if any, is the difference between reality & fantasy anyway?>>>For once & for all, just what is "reality">>>If there is anyone out there who can, for once & for all, satisfactorily answer this question, just send it in to the author, care of the publisher, & you'll get the Grand Prize - An all-expenses paid two-weeks voyage- vacation to the inhabited planets of Sirius (sorry, not tax-deductible)>>>The problem is you'll have to prove it>>>Philosphers, mystics, & other fools have been arguing back & forth about this hot issue since the dawn of sapience in this particular demented species>>>Is the page these words are printed on real?>>>Are you real?>>>Sure, our senses seem to indicate that it's solid, it has weight, it has color, it has a certain form, it has a smell, it has a taste, it makes a sound>>>But does that necessarily make it real?>>>Maybe our senses are lying to us>>>Maybe it's something altogether different>>>Can the eye see itself?>>>Who can agree about politics, for example>>>Politics, to those who are enlightened about these matters, is clearly an illusion that the masses believe in, yet it is treated as though it were as real as the family armchair>>>How do you know that this isn't some sort of elaborately-contrived dream?>>>When you had that nightmare about being pursued by that purple, polka-dotted tiger with six limbs, that seemed real enough, didn't it?>>>Anyway, at the last resort, all that can be meaningfully said is that reality is what you make of it>>>End of Inner- Mission>>>Happy constructing>>> Dogstar has gone all the way +++ There is certainly no turning back now +++ Abandon all hope, O ye who enter into this Dreaded Place +++ O, how the dogs howl & howl at the bleeding, obscene Moon +++ It has gotten to a point where the downers just weren't quite enough for him +++ He has to have something a little stronger +++ He has popped a vein & he is strung out on a little heroin +++ You have to try a little of everything, says the Joker +++ We really must keep up appearances here +++ The scag is slowly circulating in his veins +++ He can't feel a damn thing & that's just what he wants +++ He just is +++ He is vegetating under the Bloody Moon +++ He is less than is +++ His thoughts pump thru his brain slower & slower until they come to a complete halt +++ His cat crawls all over him, trying to get a response out of him +++ He hasn't fed it in days +++ He doesn't feel very much like going to wash the dishes tonight +++ Let it go +++ He'll call in sick, but he can't even get up to go to the phone +++ O, let it go +++ Let everything go +++ He'll just stay here & rot, until the fuckers come in & take him away +++ Let it slip away +++ Hopefully, he will have O.D.'d by then +++ He won't feel anything then +++ He'll be in the sweet embrace of Absolute Nothingness +++ What's the use? +++ Let the world dissolve away +++ Let it slow down to a halt +++ His whole place is full of stinking garbage +++ He hasn't taken it out in weeks +++ In ages +++ Who the fuck cares +++ Let it pile up +++ Somewhere in the depths of his smacked-out mind, he remembers mountains he once upon a time climbed +++ He remembers glorious views of glorious days when all this damn snow didn't cover everything +++ What a different person he was back then +++ None of that matters now +++ He is smacked-out in blissful Non-Feeling +++ It's not a bad way to say farewell to the Realm of Matter +++ He'll just drift out with the rest of the sewage to the Great Stinking Ocean +++ Once upon a time someone tried so hard to teach him something, but he can't seem to remember any of it now +++ Let it all go +++ For hours & hours, for days upon days, he mainlines himself into Absolute Nothingness +++ He stares out the window at a bare tree out there +++ It is all that is left in the world +++ O, let it all slip away +++ Dogstar has had it with the world(But does it really matter?)It is the middle of winter & he has nowhere to go(But why should he go anywhere?)He is stuck right where he is & there's nothing fun to do(But so what?)He will never ever amount to anything(Awww, poor guy)He'll just be a stupid dishwater dishwasher for the rest of his mortal life in this morbid Realm of Matter(It's really too bad)He trudges up & down knee-deep in the snow along the railroad tracks(So what's he doing that for?)He is seriously considering suicide(How utterly pathetic)He lies down upon the snow along the railroad tracks(What's he doing that for?)He is Siriusly considering suicide(What an idiot)If he can't make the world come to a halt, he will just jump off the damn thing(Ho hum)He will lie down on the railroad tracks until either a train comes or until he freezes to death, which-ever comes first(How utterly droll)He lies there for awhile(How stupid)He looks up at the cloudy skies bearing more & more snow(There is no end to it all)He thinks over what a fucked-up life he has had(Don't we all?)He remembers glorious views of glorious days(That's all over now)He's miserable & unhappy(What is misery? What is happiness?)Then he remembers what it is like to have a full stomach(Wake me up when this is all over)He recollects the release of getting laid(It's not so bad really)He wants to die, but his body doesn't want to die yet(You can't escape it, so you may as well get off on it)So he gets up & continues to trudge on his wearisome way(Every dog, you see, has its day)He'll just have to wait until the end(But is there really an end?)Meanwhile, under a boulder by the railroad tracks crusted with icicles, he notices a dead cat that crawled under there & died(It's so utterly sad)Night is falling & the snow is turning pink(It just is)Dogstar wearisomely trudges his way thru the Realm of Matter(But it really doesn't matter) The Doggy-Star is wiped out on sinsemilla~~~Just three tokes & he's ripped out of his gourd~~~The rats will get his brains tonight~~~He is laughing his fool head off~~~It is midnight & it's snowing like crazy outside~~~He rushes outside & gleefully rolls around in the snow~~~He does somersaults & whoops out loud~~~He laughs & grabs handfulls upon handfulls of the stuff & baptizes himself~~~He baptizes himself in the name of the Devil, the Moon, & the Loathsome Spirit~~~He snickers & rushes to the back of Cloud 9 Lounge~~~He kicks down the rear door to the kitchen~~~He gets into the kitchen & smashes all the dishes he can get his hands on~~~He goes into the empty lounge & puts on some heavy music on the sound-system~~~He serves himself drinks & dances upon the stage~~~An invisible audience cheers, jeers, & claps~~~He trashes the bar~~~He smashes liquor bottles all over the place~~~He runs outside~~~He giggles & runs across the field, ankle deep in snow~~~He lies down in the middle of the wide open space & tastes the snow as it comes falling down~~~He buries himself deeply in it~~~He makes himself a cozy little burrow~~~He is going to hibernate for the winter until it is over~~~He burrows deeper & deeper~~~The rats are getting to his brain~~~He could be slowly freezing to death out there, but he's way too stoned to care~~~After awhile, the Abominable Snowman comes out to join him & they romp around & frolic thru the long night~~~After three eternal minutes, he opens his eyes~~~He's not in the snow anymore~~~He's back in his own place again with a still- burning pipe in his hand~~~He wonders what the hell just happened there~~~Wow, that's pretty powerful stuff~~~~~ It is the Dark Night of the Soul EEE It is deepest midnight UUU It is the apex of winter III Everything is getting weirder & weirder OOO The icy winds howl & howl AAA The Devious Joker has even more tricks up his sleeve EEE The universe is nothing but a conglomeration of atoms which follow certain definite physical laws III Consciousness is nothing but neuro-electricity buzzing in the brain AAA Bugs Bunny is a callous, world-weary drag-hag OOO Adolf Hitler is our Lord EEE We shall not want OOO He leadeth us into quiet pastures for the Supreme Sacrifice to the Exalted Grump AAA It is time for the Obscene Sacrifice OOO Where the hell is Llang Llong at a time like this? UUU O, where is our Savior from this Supreme Madness? III Meanwhile, the Abominable Snowman is roaming around out in the cold, cold world, weeping & wailing most profusively, because no one understands him EEE No one will play with him, no one will talk with him, they always run away AAA His sobbing can be heard at midnight carried from the depths of the deep forest by the howling winds OOO WE MUST EVOLVE BEFORE IT'S TOO LATE! III Doggy-Star slides his shimmering Lucifer in & out of the rich lady's lubricated Isis UUU Male is female OOO Female is male AAA Matter is nothing but consolidated energy EEE Mind is nothing but consolidated energy UUU Dogstar is smacked-out without a care in the world III Mind gives rise to motion which is energy EEE Therefore it is mind which created energy III Mind therefore created matter OOO Grim Grumpy Pluto rules morosely over icy cold Hell which has finally frozen over UUU The universe is eventually going to be sucked back into space from which it emerged AAA It will be as if it had never been UUU Dogstar suddenly stops & stares at the hand which is swirling around & around on a single dish III He wonders what motivates it to move like that OOO Perhaps he is a robot UUU Stella Telestar, on her knees in front of him, gently caresses the tip of his Lucifer with the trippy tip of her tasty tongue UUU Lucifer is the Bringer of the Light AAA Meanwhile, the cat has disappeared OOO All the cats in the world have disappeared III They have all gone to Cat-Land III A set of paw-tracks lead thirty feet away from the cottage, then suddenly disappear AAA O, when, O when is this long, long winter, this infinite Journey thru Darkness going to end? OOOOOOOO Dogstar is strolling downwards along the streets of University Town^^^He is utterly lost & muddled befuddled as usual^^^He is trying desperately to re-discover his long lost soul in this uttermost Dark Night of the Soul^^^There are many different people out there who would give him many different answers^^^Dogstar is trying not to let it or them get to him^^^There are many different people making many different speeches for many different causes^^^Could be they're all talking about the same thing & don't even know it^^^Anti-sugar fanatics are trying to ban Twinkies^^^Hare Krishna monks are speaking out against meat, trying to get people to boycott supermarkets that carry the vile stuff^^^Sufis twirl around in circles around a telephone post^^^It's so hard to sort it all out^^^Dogstar shakes his head & wonders & ponders upon the perplexities of it all^^^He passes in front of the post office which, for some reason, is a Vortex-Point for innumerable kinds of social, political, religious, & metaphysical movements, a breeding ground for innumerable kooky kults^^^He is once again accosted by the sniggering midget who forces into his hand a pink photocopied flyer^^^Before Dogstar can tell him he does not want it, the midget is quickly lost in the crowd on his tiny busy feet^^^The midget is three feet high^^^Whether or not that particular detail has any hidden significance will be left to the scrutinizing discretion of the dear reader^^^The pink photocopied flyer is included here: "FROM THE ONE, AROSE TWO... FROM THE TWO, AROSE THREE... FROM THE THREE, AROSE ALL THINGS." (*) /\ / \ / \ / \ / \ / \ / \ / \ / \ /__________________\ + - THE HOLY TRINITY THREE FORCES ARE ALL IT TAKES... TO MAKE THIS ENTIRE UNIVERSE. THE ORIGINAL FORCE IS POSITIVE. THE SECOND FORCE IS ITS OPPOSITE. THE THIRD FORCE IS A CATALYST... TO GIVE A COMMON BOND TO THE FIRST TWO. POSITIVE/NEGATIVE/NEUTRAL = MATTER. THREE FORCES COMPOSE THE UNIVERSE... THOUGH ONCE... THEY WERE ONE. FROM THE THREE FORCES, AROSE GALAXIES. FROM THE GALAXIES, AROSE SOLAR SYSTEMS. FROM THE SOLAR SYSTEMS, AROSE PLANETS. FROM THE PLANETS, AROSE PROTOPLASM. FROM THE PROTOPLASM, AROSE PLANTS. FROM THE PLANTS, AROSE ANIMALS. FROM THE ANIMALS, AROSE HUMAN BEANS. WHAT WILL ARISE FROM THE HUMAN BEANS? WE ARE NOT THE APEX OF CREATION. WE STILL HAVE A LOT FURTHER TO GO. ALL EVOLUTION & ALL THE UNIVERSE... IS THE ATTEMPT OF THE COSMIC MIND... TO BECOME CONSCIOUS OF ITSELF. + (*) - (Page 2): A FEW BRIEF DEFINITIONS: Matter: A most peculiar substance which is perceived as various forms, both subtle & dense. Exists primarily in four distinct states: solid, liquid, gaseous, & energetic. Is actually a highly consolidated conglomeration of three basic energetic forces: positive, negative , & catalytic. Something: The perceptible form of nothing. It only SEEMS to be real. Nothing: The imperceptible form of something. God: All & Everything. All that is. Energy: Impulses set into motion by the Cosmic Mind. Cosmic Mind: The SELF within all selves. Evolution: The attempt of the Cosmic Mind to become conscious of Itself through the medium of various forms. Life: An enigma; a rare form of energetic matter in the universe which deliberately organizes itself into certain chemical patterns, striving to maintain the integrity of those patterns at all costs, even in the face of inevitable dissolution which it fears & resists more than anything else. It also has the unusual ability to replicate itself - which is its secondary chief motivation for existence. Life is a self-perpetuating dilemma. Plants: A form of life which perpetuates its existence by the absorption of certain forms of solar energy. Usually contented to remain in one place. A line of evolution which is probably more what the Cosmic Mind originally had in mind. The essence of plants is: "Being". Animals: A very pernicious, restless form of life which perpetuates its existence by the assimilation of other forms of life & each other. Move around a lot, trying to fulfill various carnal desires. A line of evolution which was a bad mistake from the standpoint of the Cosmic Mind. Earlier errors were either wiped out or neutralized, for ex.: the Great Reptiles, the Insect Civilizations. The essence of animals is: "Struggle". Human Beans: The supposed apex of creation. An even more pernicious & restless form of life than the animals. Erroneously considers itself "intelligent" & "superior" (a concept mode peculiar only to its own kind) to all other forms of life simply because it has the ability to make complex noises with its mouth(s) called "language" & can play with dangerous tools called "weapons". Thrives by a process of mutual exploitation within its own species. A form of life which continuously "lies". Threatens to upset the balance of the planet which it currently inhabits. A terrible, terrible mistake which the Cosmic Mind has time & time again tried to alter, but with only transient results. Hu-man Be-ings: Truly intelligent Self-Evolving Beings who consider Themselves equal to All. This is a highly conscious form of energetic matter, which in certain cases, has transcended the need for any material vehicle at all. They have eliminated such deleterious traits as aggression & fear of the unknown or unusual from their species, & have the ability to colonize other planets (even performing benign evolutionary experiments of their own, & can perpetuate their existence forever, if they so wish. Of these, a few achieve the state of Cosmic Consciousness, the Original Goal of the Cosmic Mind. IT IS ALL ONE! (This production has been brought to you & funded by The Society for Conscious Evolution. There is no end to how far we can evolve, if we only choose to, as of right this moment.) It is a Friday night at Duke's & the whole place is jam-packed ### Dogstar is making his rounds unloading his wares to the grateful students in there, always eager & open-minded for new ways to get high ### Meanwhile, the psychiatrists & nurse- attendants are helping the Catatonic Blues Band to get up on the stage & tune up ### The paranoid schizophrenic is refusing to cooperate ### He is convinced that Lucifer is out there & has his number ### The megalomaniac smiles smugly ### He knows he is Lucifer ### One of the chorus girls is dredging up morbid repressed material concerning her incestous relationship with her father who she keeps referring to as "Lucifer" ### A psychiatrist avidly nods & quickly takes notes ### This "Lucifer" connection could be quite a breakthru ### Meanwhile, at the bar, Dogstar has started getting into a rap with a computer graduate student, who he has just sold a load of amphetamine tablets to ### It's like this, the computer student says, washing down a tab with a hearty slug of beer: ### I am programmed to be a computer student ### You are programmed to want money for what you just sold me here ### Those guys over there are programmed to get high ### Most guys are programmed to want to get laid ### Females are programmed to measure up to their status ### The crude flow-chart for all this goes like this: If it makes you feel good, do it ### If it will eventually get you something that will make you feel good, such as money, go to it ### It may cause you temporary pain, fatigue, or aggravation, but if there is an ultimate pleasure-jolt at the end of it that is greater than the amount of pain, you do it ### If it hurts, get away from it ### If it's going to lead up to something that will hurt, avoid it ### The nitty-gritty of all this is we are basically pleasure/pain stimulus-response mechanisms ### We are programmed that way ### Life is programmed to survive at all costs, to perpetuate itself, & to avoid death ### What got this whole thing rolling, no one knows ### Anyway, in more evolved organisms, life came up with this thing "pleasure" & "pain" as further incentives: What perpetuates life causes pleasure; what does the opposite, causes pain ### The computer student drains off his beer & orders another, then goes on: ### You know, you see that good-looking chick over there ### You notice the proportion of her ass & boobs ### You check out the unblemished skin of her face ### You get a hard-on ### She looks like she'd be good genetic material for you to merge your genes with ### You want to put your Lucifer into her ### You go over & offer to buy her a drink ### You just can't help it ### You were programmed that way ### We are all programmed in our various ways by society which somehow programmed itself in one rigid form or the other ### Meanwhile, the computer student, self-programmed to want more & more alcohol to delete the pain of existence in the Material Realm, was getting drunk & was soon slurring his words to the point of unintelligibility ### The Catatonic Blues Band is playing its opening riffs with the paranoid schizophrenic lead singer shouting for Lucifer to come up of there & reveal Himself ### Dogstar, programmed to empty his bladder when it reached a certain fullness, has to take a leak ### He swervingly wends his way thru the swaying crowd to the resting room ### He gets in a stall, unzips, & lets streams upon streams roaring from his Lucifer into the butt-filled urinal ### To kill time, he idly notices some graffiti all over the walls: WHY? THE UNIVERSE IS A HOAX WHY NOT? THIS UNIVERSE HAS BEEN BROUGHT TO YOU BY THE REALITY-HACKERS I SAW YOU DO THAT FOR A GOOD TIME, CALL LYNN WHAT ARE YOU DOING TONIGHT? 323-2323 SIT ON MY FACE FUCK SUCK SHIT PISS MY DONG IS LONGER THAN YOURS SOCRATES WAS A MAN SOCRATES WAS A FAG SUCK MY LUCIFER, YOU FAG! THEREFORE ALL MEN ARE FAGS SOMETHING = NOTHING BEWARE OF THE REALITY-POLICE BAN TWINKIES! DEATH TO ALL MEAT-EATERS! EAT SHIT, COCKSUCKER THE JOKER HOLDS ALL THE CARDS GOD IS ALIVE & WELL IN A SPECIAL COUMBIAN RESORT TOWN REALITY IS A COMMIE-PLOT DEATH TO ALL TWINKIE-EATERS! EAT MY TWINKIE, YOU QUEERO REALITY IS A COMMIE-PLOT SUCK OFF MY PUSSY REALITY IS A COLLECTIVE FICTION... THERE IS NO DIFFERENCE BETWEEN REALITY & FANTASY WHAT IS? ????? WHAT IS NOT? EVERYTHING IS NOTHING NOTHING IS EVERYTHING IS WHY? WHY NOT? GET A JOB, YOU COMMUNIST QUEER! WE MUST EVOLVE BEFORE IT'S TOO LATE! Dogstar is stuck @#$ It is another Saturday night in Cloud 9 Lounge & there are tons upon tons of steamy, dirty, stinky, gritty dishes to wash #$% He is up to his elbows in greasy water $%# O why, O why can't he be anything else than a dishwasher? &*^ Is this all some sort of horrible joke? &^% What is it all for? @%$ This whole world must be some sort of elaborately designed hell (&) He's capable of doing far, far more than this )*( Shit, he'd settle for being a fucking stock clerk #@! But it's the same old story *&^ No one will hire him for anything else &^% Maybe he should rob a bank #&% Take out a large loan with his Lucifer for collateral & never come back %$# Become a male prostitute #@$ Diddle rich ladies #*% Join the American Legion *^& Become a volunteer astronaut @$# Run to Canada & build a log cabin *&^ Hunt & fish for a living $*^ Take refuge in a mental institution #%$ Be an insurance salesman *&^ Sell his soul to Lucifer *$% Deal heroin &$( Blackmail a landlord for having witnessed his deepest, darkest perversions *%^ Steal vital secret information from a computer & blackmail the government %&$ See the world @%$ Become a skid-row bum *#% Shoot the moon &#% Voyage to Antarctica &%$ Become a penguin attendant *&^ Meanwhile, there's no escape &%^ More & more dishes are being piled right on top of one another *&@ Shit, he's going to be here all night long $&* He stares morosely into the bloody-red waters *%$ Hairy Harry, busily chewing on an unlit cigar, barges obnoxiously into the kitchen & yells at him to hurry it up - there's customers out there waiting for their dishes - Hurry it up or he's through $%# Dogstar growls & fuels himself with some hyper-speed & frantically picks up the pace *&% O when, O when is all of this going to end? *&% Loud music & belligerent laughter bursts forth from the other room *&$ & Here he is, stuck here washing these goddamn dishes for practically nothing for those fucking assholes out there who make oodles & oodles of money, who won't hire him for anything better than this &%# This is absolutely fucked-up *&$ There must be some way out of all this &*$ "There is very, very little difference between reality & fantasy," snidely jokes the Joker^^^Stop the world, I want to get off^^^"You can't escape it, so why not just get off on it?" - The Joker^^^Oh, well, it looks like it's gonna be another one of those nights^^^This night is for Lucifer^^^The dread-full ritual has begun^^^The sacrifice is nigh & high^^^The Elder Lords must be appeased^^^By the way, have you eaten your landlord for lunch today?^^^Dogstar stands with Stella Telestar on his right & the blond androgynous street-urchin on his left^^^They have taken their prescribed places behind the alter^^^They are wearing no clothes & are bloodily engorged in a state of intensive sexual excitement^^^Dogstar is holding a bloodily dripping knife^^^A pig & a chicken, swiped from a nearby farm in Wheatfield, have already been sacrificed to the All-Knowing One^^^Behind them, on the wall, is an upside- down triangle^^^This signifies the descent of spirit into the material realm^^^"You must experience everything!" remarks the Joker with a loud guffaw^^^A pointy-eared cloven-hoofed creature in a corner sniggers in agreement^^^"Very well, bring the offering in," imperiously commands the Dogstar^^^Two of the topless waitresses lead in a well-known landlord who charges higher-than-usual rents for places he won't spend a dime to fix^^^The topless waitresses seduced him into coming along^^^They told him there was going to be a very fun party here & he believed them^^^He looks like he will be a very choice tidbit for the Elder Ones^^^He is displeased with what he sees here^^^"Well," he says, "so when's this charade going to end? I have a very important meeting with the Board of Directors of The Company tonight"^^^Dogstar smiles & shakes his head^^^They can never believe it initially, these poor fools^^^That is why they must be sacrificed^^^The topless waitresses remove his clothes^^^What a disgusting pot belly he has^^^He has grown quite fat off all the tenants he has ripped off^^^They have him tied up^^^Dogstar signals to the topless waitresses to put the landlord's head on the bloody chopping block of the alter^^^When the landlord sees the huge double-edged axe, his eyes pop out in terror^^^He frantically begs: "No! No! No! Anything but this! Look, you want my money? You want my daughter? Look, before you do anything rash, I have a prime capital-generating rental complex for you, a sure thing. I can tell you how to legally avoid paying a penny in taxes or maintenance. No! No! Please! Please don't do this! I don't want to die! Mama Mia!"^^^But it is no use^^^They all beg like this, but the axe must fall^^^The Elder Ones must have their revenge^^^The Dogstar raises the axe, then, with a sickening thud, off comes the head^^^The body twitches & gallons upon gallons of blood shoots out all over the alter & the floor^^^They gather bowl-fulls & lustily partake of it^^^The Enemy must be vanquished for the arrival of the Elder Ones^^^They roll around in the blood & have a merry orgy^^^ Do you understand this book? Does it have any hidden meaning? Does it have a plot? Does it have any cohering theme? What exactly is the significance of the Joker in this story? What is the symbolic value of Llang Llong? Whatever happened to him anyway? What is the ultimate purpose of the universe? Do you think Dogstar will ever find it? What is Dogstar doing now? Will he be stuck where he is forever & ever? Does a cat have dog-nature? Does God have Buddha-nature? What's all this stuff about the three Japs anyway? Does a french-poodle have peacock-nature? Do any of the scenes in this section of the book bear the slightest resemblence to what is real? What is reality? Does a plant have animal-nature? Does a dog have cat-nature? What is the hidden significance of all these questions? Do these questions have answers? Is it really even very important anyway? Does it even matter? Did the universe ever begin? Will it ever end? Is there really such a thing as final death? Does an animal have plant-nature? Does DNA have life-nature? Is there any difference between reality & fantasy? Does a male have female-nature? Does a female have male-nature? What prompted this universe to come into existence anyway? Why is there gravity? Why is the speed of light always 186,000 miles per second? Or is it? Is there some sort of hidden significance about this? Why do electrons feel compelled to hang around protons? Why does physical matter conform to what the physicists call "Laws"? Who or what set the rules? Does a stone have crystal-nature? Does a star have planet-nature? Does a planet have moon-nature? Does an atom have galaxy-nature? Does a human have universe-nature? Does a fish have reptile-nature? Does a caterpillar have butterfly- nature? Does a chicken have egg-nature? Does a machine have insect-nature? Does a Japanese have American-nature? Does matter have spirit-nature? Does mind have energy-nature? Does a question have answer-nature? It is one of those slow nights *** All over the wide countryside, the streets are glazed with sheer ice *** No one can go anywhere, not even to the local convenience-store for a six-pack of beer *** It is 13 out there *** The clouds are low & the wind is bringing in more & more snow *** O when, O when will the long, long winter ever end? *** Meanwhile, inside Cloud 9 Lounge, nothing special is happening *** Business goes on as usual, even though there really isn't any *** Dogstar is sitting at the bar eating a steak dinner the cook whipped up for him in the micro-wave oven *** Hairy Harry is copying down figures in the accounts-ledger *** Old Joe who lives on the farm across the street is in there having a few to still the pain of old age & inevitable physical mortality *** Stella Telestar is keeping in practice up on the stage under the whirling lights & a band called "Kraftwerk" on the turntable *** The cook is idly smoking a joint back in the kitchen, whipping up some pancakes for himself *** The Japanese boys are sitting at one of the middle tables, drinking rice-liquor & behaving generally very un- Japanese-like *** They whoop & whistle at Stella Telestar up on the stage like a bunch of Texas rednecks *** They buy drinks on the house for everyone *** They are loaded *** They've made a lot of American dollars thru personal computers & small hip gas-economical cars *** They are playing cards *** They scream with laughter every time one of them draws a Joker *** They pound raucously on the tables & sing Japanese warrior-songs *** Everybody does their best to ignore them *** Everybody else just wants to be left alone *** One of the Japs yells over at Dogstar who is doing the best he can to assimilate & digest the bland-tasting steak *** "Hey, Doggy-Star, come over here!" *** They motion frantically at him to join their party *** Dogstar sighs, pushes away the half-eaten dinner, & takes a seat at their table *** They pour him a huge glass of rice-liquor *** They cheer him on as his eyes water from the fiery stuff *** One of them leans forward, breathing hot rice-fumes into his face *** "You human beans are fucked, you know that?" he hisses *** "We're going to take over everything you've got set up here. So you better watch out, you fucking neurological mutant." *** The ultimate question is: Why? (Why?) Everything is connected with everything else (Why?) Light travels precisely (more or less) at 186,000 miles per second (Why?) The Joker has any value you wish to assign to it (Why?) The cat has disappeared (Why?) Its tracks lead out thirty feet away from Dogstar's cottage, then disappear (Why?) Dogstar is shit-faced (Why?) He is utterly shit-faced (Why?) He is utterly confused (Why?) He is utterly demented (Why?) When he got up that morning, he couldn't remember who he was or what he was doing there (Why?) His memory was gone & he had no past (Why?) It was as if he were starting the whole thing all over again (Why?) Now he wanders from bar to bar in University Town (Why?) He can't remember anybody's face or name (Why?) He can't remember who he is supposed to be (Why?) He doesn't understand what he is doing there (Why?) He wonders if there is nothing but absolute blackness after death (Why?) He is not really sure that he's a member of the same species as the rest of these people (Why?) It is a Saturday night & all these people look so strange to him (Why?) He feels totally unconnected (Why?) People look up at him in fear as he passes by (Why?) There is a wild hunted-beast look in his eyes (Why?) Maybe he has gone to sleep & has awakened as the Abominable Snowman (Why?) A girl looks familiar to him somehow, but he can't place her (Why?) He feels like he is going to pass out (Why?) In exchange for pieces of paper & circular pieces of stamped metal, he is given liquids which cause his head to spin around & round (Why?) They all look like robots to him (Why?) They play games, they watch images flickering on a tube, they talk & talk, they laugh & laugh (Why?) He has no part in it all (Why?) He feels so left out of it all (Why?) He takes the last bus out of town & weeps profusely on the very back-most seat (Why?) Moonlight shimmers on snow-covered fields (Why?) He just doesn't understand what is happening (Why?) There is a madness to it all & he just can't figure it out (Why?) It's another very slow night at Cloud 9 Lounge, a weekday night when there's never very much happening///They're in-between sets right now///Not much happens on a dreary Moon-Day night///Stella Telestar just did one of her sexiest acts ever///But no one noticed it///So did it happen?///Dogstar is taking a break at the blue-bar///There's hardly any dishes to be done tonight///He lights a clove cigarette & yawns///Stella takes a seat beside him///She slips a hand down the seat of his pants///She massages the base of his spine///They agree to make a date for some oral sex later on///Meanwhile, in the middle of the nearly-empty lounge, two very bored businessmen are playing black-jack on one of the circular tables///They sell defective farm machinery to the farmers of Wheatfield///Stella serves them, generouslydisplaying her bounteous titties towards them///They hand out a five-dollar tip for the beer///They deal the cards///One of the men gets an Ace of Spades, then turns up a Joker///"How the hell did this Joker get in here?" he mutters///They remove the offending card & reshuffle the cards///They deal again///The other man gets a one-eyed Jack of Hearts & a Joker///"Shit, goddamn it, Harvey, I thought I just told you to take all the Jokers out."///"But I did, Jake. I swear I did. I just don't know how the hell they got in there."///They go thru the whole deck again & look for any more Jokers///That seems to be all of them///They re-shuffle & play for it again///Harvey gets a King of Diamonds & a Joker///Jake gets a Joker, then a Deuce of Clubs///It is hopeless///They decide to give it up & make Jokers the Wild Card///It could be assigned any value they want it to have///Like a lot of other things///The more they played, the more Jokers that turned up///Finally, they were playing with nothing but Jokers///They arbitrarily out-bid one another///They get into a big fight over it///When the going gets weird, the weird get going///The Joker is the Wild Card///You should never trust a Joker///If you get a Joker in your deck, you better watch out///The Joker can either have no value or it can have unlimited value///It's all up to You///The Joker is as Wild as you want It to be////// Then there is the night when the Catatonic Blues Band breaks down,right in the middle of a set ### The hebephrenic piano player starts playing a lively polka %%% The manic-depressive lead-guitarist alternates between moody Spanish Flamenco & lively country-western ??? The Mongolian idiot drummer wails & punches holes in the drums !!! The trumpet player who thinks he's the greatest plays Louie Armstrong *** The chorus girls sing way out of key %%% The key-board player who thinks he's God grins & runs his hands sweepingly up & down the keyboard $$$ The bass guitarist morosely sits on a speaker & idly plucks one string over & over @@@ The excessively paranoid lead singer looks worriedly around the audience, babbling in a frenzy: "How many of you out there know about me? How many of you are in on the Plan? How many of you are aware of how I must suffer up here night after night? When are you going to crucify me?" ~~~ The idiot drummer drools & throws his drums around in complete frustration, unable to comprehend why they won't make a sound anymore with the big holes in them *** The manic-depressive alternates between major-mania & minor- depression more & more quickly &&& The trumpet player spits & drools into his horn, making lewd faces at the audience /// The chorus girls remove their undergarmets & fling them out at the audience ::: The hebephrenic piano player laughs wildly & starts playing by pounding his fists on the keys ((( The bass player can't stand it anymore; he morosely lies down on the stage in utter resignation %%% Meanwhile, the keyboard player, having delusions of grandeur, proceeds to play "St. Matthew Passion" ))) The paranoid schizophrenic lead singer breaks down & confesses everything he has ever done --- The manager intervenes & announces that the bar will be closed for the night +++ The psychiatrists & nurse-attendants take over & attend to their patients, getting them sedated for the ride back to the ward ^^^ It's their greatest act ever ~~~ The crowd has gotten drunk & is roaring in approval !!! The times, they are a-changing ~+~ Can the Dog-Star ever realize its Buddha-Nature ~+~ The weirdos are going weirder & weirder ~+~ Can the Buddha ever transcend its Dog-Nature ~+~ Three forces were all it took to make up this whole She-Bang ~+~ It is - 3 degrees outdoors in the cold, cold, cold ~+~ This universe is a complete hoax brought to you in living color by the one & only Joker ~+~ Meanwhile, World War III is a very good possibility ~+~ The Super-Powers cannot wait to blow each other up ~+~ They can't help it; it's an instinct ~+~ When the population of a species reaches a certain point, they are programmed to start destroying themselves ~+~ Meanwhile, Pluto reigns over frozen-over Hell with a sour, dour expression of intense disgust on his grumpy face ~+~ He's been getting bored lately ~+~ Maybe just for kinks, he'll set off a major earth- quake which will destroy all of civilization & bring back the Ice-Age ~+~ (Why?) ~+~ The three Japs have had it ~+~ There is really nothing more they can do ~+~ What fools these earth-bound ones are ~+~ The three Japs abruptly disappear one night, shortly after all the cats in the world suddenly vanish ~+~ That same night, a fiery chariot, making an ungodly thunder like the sound of a million angels singing a celestial chorus, is seen flying low over the humble fields of Wheatfield, to the consternation of its out-raged citizens who are forced to lose a few minute's sleep over this grand event ~+~ A multi- colored beam on intensified light is aimed at the cottage where the Japs had resided & the next day, they are no-where to be found ~+~ There is a major power failure & no one can get their favorite radio station or T.V. program for hundreds of miles around while all this is happening ~+~ Later on, the Air Force is called in to investigate, but all they can find is a single glowing diamond lying in a distant field ~+~ They file it away & call it "Top-Security" ~+~ Meanwhile, while this momentous event is occurring, Dogstar & Stella Telestar are she-banging away in a candle-lit cottage, oblivious to the crumbling of the world's foundations all around them ~+~ God bless the murmuring maw which is masticating the morrow ~+~ Here we go again///Time for Autumn re-runs///The story goes like this:///There's these two dudes arguing in front of the post office///For some reason, the post office of University Town attracts a lot of crazies & fringe kooky kults///Dogstar & a couple of others are listening in on this intense interaction///"Everything is nothing!" cries one///"No! You've got it wrong! Everything is everything!"///"Male is female!"///"No! Female is male!"///"The universe is a hoax!"///"No! The universe is as real as Jesus, Joseph, & Mary!"///"Everything is duality!"///"No! Everything is trinity!"///"God is a crooked politician!"///"No! God sells barbecued weinies on 42nd Street!"///"The Dog has Buddha-Nature!"///"No! You're wrong! The Buddha has Dog- Nature!"///"Right is wrong!"///"No! You're wrong! Wrong is right!"///"Nothing is real!"///"No! Everything is real!"///"But you just said everything is nothing!"///"Therefore, nothing & everything, being one & the the same, are both real & unreal!"///The midget, who has been busy handing out flyers for his own lost cause, The Society for Conscious Evolution, has been observing all this with considerable amusement///He turns to Dogstar & remarks: "Little do they realize that they are both wrong."///"Yet they are both right."///"So put that in your pipe & snuff it."/// All things are possible^^^Dogstar is sitting in a nearly-empty bar on a weekday night, feeling morose^^^He is really getting tired of it all^^^He is seriously contemplating suicide^^^Maybe he could lay down on some railroad tracks some-where & let the next train run him over^^^How-ever, he is wondering whether there is anything after death, or whether it's any better than this^^^He wonders why he bothers to go on living, if his life is such a bummer^^^Then a beautiful girl walks in^^^All thoughts of suicide instantly vanish^^^ She has long light-brown hair & sapphire-blue eyes^^^She wears a long brown dress^^^Dogstar looks up at her^^^He catches her eye^^^Somehow something is briefly transmitted between them in that momentary tentative eye- contact^^^She smiles^^^Dogstar looks away^^^What could she, what would she possibly see in him?^^^Yet he looks up again & there she is again looking right at him^^^He can't believe it^^^This is too good to be true^^^She gets a drink & takes a seat at his table^^^"Hi, I'm Lynn," she says^^^"You look kind of lonely tonight"^^^"Yeah, you might say that."^^^"What happened? You look pretty sad. Did you have a bad accident? Did you break up with your grilfriend?"^^^"Well, not exactly, I'm just not sure if there is any meaning to any of this."^^^"Yeah, I know how that is."^^^She pauses^^^"Sometimes, though, you have to make your own meaning."^^^"So how do I do that?"^^^She grabs his hand, looks into his eyes, & gives him an enchanting smile^^^"Let me be the meaning of life for you tonight."^^^So they hit it off in a soul- to-soul way^^^Dogstar feels horny for her & also finds himself falling in love with her on the spot^^^"Don't be afraid to love me," she says^^^"Love is all that is real"^^^"All your life you have been looking for real love & you never found it, you poor dude"^^^What is happening here anyway?^^^Dogstar hangs on to her every word like she was the Savior of his life^^^She invites him up to her apartment, which is nearby^^^They take a shower & lather one another in creamy soap^^^They look into one another's eyes & soar into infinite heights of ethereal love as they give pleasure to one another's bodies below in the material realm^^^This is perfect^^^This is what it always should have been^^^This is Male & Female becoming the Original Whole again^^^"I love you," says Dogstar to her^^^"I love you, too," says Lynn^^^"I have loved you since the beginning of time"^^^She smiles mysteriously^^^"Now, I must ask you to go"^^^"But never fear - we will meet again in the next realm"^^^The next day, Dogstar can't find her anywhere^^^He returns to where her apartment was & finds a total stranger living there, who doesn't know him & never heard of her^^^He hangs around that bar night after night, but she never shows up^^^He asks around, describing her, but no one has ever known anyone like that^^^He wanders the streets, searching for her, but she is not to be found^^^He cannot understand it^^^It was so good^^^Why is it gone now?^^^"Lynn, O Lynn, where are you?" he wails in despair, as he searches & searches for Her which gave him such happiness that one night^^^But she has vanished from the material realm, as though she had never ever been^^^ Meanwhile the going is getter weirder & the weird are going weirder (*) Dogstar, making a round of undercover business trips, is wandering all over town (*) With each step he takes, just as a diversion, he asks: (Why?) (*) At the same time, people are petitioning for innumerable forms of massive mass action of the masses (*) Anti-sugar fanatics are picketing the local grocery store (*) They violently attack any & all Twinkie- eaters they catch in the act (*) A turbaned self-proclaimed guru is holding hatha-yoga classes right out on the sidewalk (*) Blacks are grabbing the arms of neurotic, guilty whites & demanding money for their lunch-program (*) A student is selling rope-belts on a street corner, strumming on a dulcimer (*) In front of the post office, quite a commotion is going on (*) A bunch of angry young men who have just turned 18 are striking against the draft which has just been re-enacted (*) The President of the United States Empire, in league with the CIA, plans to have a war in the Middle East for the diminishing supplies of oil to fuel the Empire's Great Economy (*) Day by day, giant war-planes fly in formation over the small New England towns in preparation for this great event (*) Meanwhile, among the demonstrators, two dudes have their endless argument about Everything & Nothing (*) At the same time, a fat, bearded, frizzly- haired dude fights his way to the top of the post office steps (*) He has an amused twinkle in his eyes, as though this whole thing were some kind of huge Joke to him (*) He munches on a Twinkie to the consternation of the anti-sugar fanatics (*) He clears his throat & makes the following speech to the massive minor masses: "ATTENTION PLEASE! MAY I PLEASE HAVE YOUR ATTENTION?"
(The muttering crowd slows down, pauses to eavesdrop on what this mad crank is saying:) "There, that's better. Now that I have your attention, I would like to bring to your attention that the human race is in a lot of trouble right now. There are all these cults. There are all these conflicting viewpoints. "I see that there are quite a few of you who do not wish to participate in the madness called 'war'. I would like you to think about something: "It is time to recognize that there is something fundamentally wrong with the bulk of the human race. There have always been wars & rumours thereof. War is the most insane, destructive, irrational activity that human beings perpetuate on their fellow beings. Just think of it. One row of human beings is firing upon an opposite row of human beings that is firing back. They're just killing one another off. Now, I ask you, does that make any sense at all? Rather than discussing whatever it is that is bothering them, they just start shooting at one another. These creatures spend hundreds & hundreds of years constructing elaborate civilizations, only to blow it all up in one big war. It is sheer, utter insanity. (No one seems to bring that up at the time, though; rather, most of them go along with it as though it were perfectly normal & natural.) No wonder Extra-Terrestial Intelligences stay the hell away from us. We must look like demented apes to them, which, it must be said, we are, at our present level. "With the technology we have available to us right now, we could make a literal utopia out of this planet. We could once & for all dissolve national boundaries, have a controlled population so there is plenty for everybody, have a world-wide language, & have a complete leisure-class society with machines doing the bulk of the work. This is utterly possible now. And if we weren't so damned afraid of each other all the time, we would have nothing to be afraid of at all. "The only reason we aren't getting off our asses & doing all this right now is because nobody can agree on anything. Whose language is going to be the world-wide one? Who is going to control the population? Which of the nations will be the first to swallow its pride, take down its borders, & destroy its arms? Our various collective & nationalistic ego-trips are the only major obstacle between us & utopia. "Politics is not the answer, because in the attempt to change the system, you invariably become another part of the system. Fighting against fighting is not the answer; that's just adding more fat on the fire, more illusions to support the larger Illusion. In fact, to propose any kind of answer at all would just be another ego-trip for people to either fanatically identify with or react strongly against, often starting wars for this very reason. (Sigh.) How utterly perplexing it all is. Perhaps we must go beyond this very limited world altogether. "I'll tell you a little secret: The whole thing is a big Hoax. The Hoax is this: That somebody up there actually has power over the rest of us. That certain people who happen to be rich &/or famous are somehow more 'important' than people who are not rich &/or famous. That life is nothing more than a soap-opera dog-eat-dog struggle for survival & economic power. That those who succeed in this struggle are somehow intrinsically 'better' than those who don't manage to succeed, particularly when the whole thing is set up so that only those who are already in power & those who affirm their allegiance towards the reality of the Hoax are allowed to succeed in the first place. That certain pieces of paper & pieces of metal which serve as a medium of exchange are more (that is, money) are more important & more real than the actual substance that they supposedly represent. That labelling & numbering people & things somehow gives one greater control over them. "About the only thing we can do about all this is work as individuals & attempt to struggle against getting sucked into the Hoax to the extent that we possibly can. You can even observe outwardly all their ridiculous forms & rituals, but if you refuse to give them your mind & soul, that, in itself, is quite a victory. Those of you who are perceptive enough to see the absurdity of war & can see what the human race is ultimately capable of must lie low & try to survive as best as they can, preserving certain modes of knowledge & living, while the Hoax-Makers foolishly destroy themselves & their mesmerized followers. Then maybe the day will come at last when we can come out of hiding & build a new world. Our dilemma is somewhat like that of the little furry mammals during the age of dinosaurs. Aggression, the urge to dominate, & the tendency to imitate are now extremely deleterious traits in the human race. Cooperation & the refusal to go along with what we know is wrong will prove to be the greater survival traits in the long run. "In the meantime, while we are waiting for that day which may or may not come within our lifetimes, all we can do is work on ourselves, watching for vestiges of those deleterious traits within ourselves which we must consciously transform. Everything that we do as individuals has an effect on the human race as a whole. We must neither be followers nor leaders. We must find out what it means to be a real person, & struggle against the various masks which the Hoax-Makers have been trying to imprint on us all our lives. We must wait & seek for the enlightenment which comes from deep within. Be assured that the time will come. Stay tuned & know that you are not alone. "WE MUST EVOLVE BEFORE IT'S TOO LATE! "Thank you." Everybody steals from everybody else $$$ The economic system thrives most smoothly on an ever-increasing flow of money $$$ Capitalism bases its success upon the well-documented efficiency of greed $$$ Money is the root of evil & is the medium of exchange $$$ Money is what you make it $$$ It can have any value its users choose to assign it $$$ Money is the Wild Joker of the capitalistic system $$$ Meanwhile, Dogstar is strolling the streets & wearing his pink shades so no one will see how stoned he is $$$ He is happily whistling for he has a thousand bucks & some diamonds he took from a rich lady in his pocket $$$ He stops by a jewelry store & pawns the diamonds to the manager in a back room $$$ The manager probably figures they were stolen, but he doesn't care - he can sell them for a lot more than he paid for them up in the front $$$ That's capitalism at work $$$ Dogstar didn't get quite what he wanted for them, but he made a substantial profit, since he didn't pay for them either $$$ That's capitalism $$$ With a few grand in his pocket, he proceeds onwards to "Luxury Tower Apartments" $$$ This is where his connection has his headquarters set up $$$ The doorman takes a bribe & nods in recognition $$$ He rides up five floors on the plush carpeted elevator so silent & swift, like being in a dream $$$ He rings the doorbell of Apt. 52 $$$ He is scrutinized thoroughly through the peephole $$$ Then a number of locks are undone & he is let in $$$ His connection is very glad to see him $$$ Dogstar has made a lot of money for him to support his luxurious life-style $$$ He magnaminously treats him to a couple of lines of the finest Peruvian flakes $$$ He puts on some great music on the perfectly tuned digitalized quadrophonic sound system at a high decibel level $$$ The apartment has been especially sound-proofed so he can play it as loud as he wants to $$$ Dogstar makes himself comfortable in a luxious water-chair $$$ The connection opens up a secret wall-safe behind a valuable Van Gogh painting $$$ He lays out the precious wares $$$ Dogstar gets a couple of bottles of Qualludes, $$$ A few pounds of Columbian, $$$ Several bottles of under-the-counter Valium, $$$ Some bottles of barbs $$$, A great many bottles of varying potencies of speed $$$, A hundred hits of windowpane for the psychedelic set $$$, A bit of cocaine $$$, & just a few pinches of smackeroo for his private collection $$$ Dogstar is going to be a rich man $$$ He'll be able to stay high for the rest of his life on this $$$ He's gonna make a lot of money selling this $$$ That's capitalism at work $$$ This is outrageous! This is unbelievable! This can't be! This must be some sort of rude Joke! Dogstar has come back to his place from a pleasant romp in the snow & he has just discovered that his place has been ransacked! Somebody broke in & took all his drugs! The place is torn to pieces! All the drawers are open! The bed is overturned! The bathroom cabinet hangs wide-open! Dogstar can't believe this! He looks everywhere! His sinsemilla is gone! His Valium is gone! His speed is gone! His cocaine is gone! His precious heroin is gone! Even the windowpane in the freezer is gone! All gone! All his drugs are gone! Oh, no! Anything but this! What will he do! How will he live! Who would do a thing like this! The door has been kicked down! It must have been some desperate drug- freak! It could have been one of the waitresses! It could have been the cook! It even could have been Stella! It could have been anyone of his customers! Now he has no idea who he can trust! He can't even call the police about this! He can't trust anyone! What a freak-out! What a horror-show! What a terrible thing to do! There is no honor among thieves & capitalists! Everybody steals from everybody else! The Joker is Wild! The plot is thickening! Dogstar is utterly confused &&& Dogstar is utterly in despair &&& Dogstar is utterly lost in the material realm &&& He just has to have his drugs back &&& He simply cannot live without his precious drugs &&& Meanwhile, the snow is coming down rather heavily mixed with rain, so it is freezing all over, making the going rather weird & slippery &&& At the same time, Dogstar is shaking all over &&& He is having horrible withdrawal symptoms &&& He is having considerable difficulty seeing straight & coordinating his bodily movements as he frantically struggles across the icy streets & side-walks of mid-night &&& He is making his wearisome way towards "Luxury Tower Apartments" where his all-important connection lives &&& He is having strange hallucinations which get in his way &&& Midgets accost him with mad causes &&& Japs attempt to eradicate his existence with laser rays &&& He has got to get to his connection &&& The Abominable Snow-Man comes up & asks him for spare change &&& His only hope & solace lies in his connection &&& He skids across some unseen ice & is attacked by Pluto's hench-dogs &&& His connection to him right now is like unto an oasis to a man in the desert who has been bereft of water for days &&& He can't wait to swallow those precious pills, to feel the soothing rush as they become dissolved in the interior of his gastonomical gullet &&& He has just broken into a rich people's house in the suburbs of University Town, probably one that belongs to, then crashes to the other side of the secure walls &&& He must get his greedy grubby hands on the gold & silver & the precious crystals to raise the money for the drugs he must have &&& He's gotta have 'em, at whatever the cost &&& The drugs have become an integral part of his personal biochemistry &&& He was nearly caught in the suburbs by the police as they slowly patrolled by like a cat searching for a mouse &&& He was just getting out of the broken-in house & took refuge in the rose bushes &&& Fortunately, they passed by &&& Whew! &&& He is clear &&& Everybody steals from everybody else &&& The appraising jeweler regards him with inscrutable scrutinizing suspicion as he hands over the monetary credits which will enable him to purchase the drugs, far more precious to him than any kind of precious metals or diamonds &&& The drugs are even more precious to him than the Holy Philosopher's Stone &&& The jeweler has a good mind to turn him in to the proper authorities, except for the fact that he is equally as corrupt as the rest of us &&& Dogstar has finally made it as far as "Luxury Tower Apartments" &&& Then he notices something is quite out of place here &&& There are police xxx-cars circling the whole yyy-area, their pretty red, green, & blue lights flashing most beautifully, brightly, stroboscopically, & hypnotically &&& The police are brutally working over the doorman, interrogating him most aggressively &&& They have the power &&& His connection is babbling & weeping, being dragged out in chains &&& The police are carrying out huge bales of Columbian sinsemilla & building bonfires in the streets &&& They are shoveling kilos of Peruvian flake out the windows into the fires in the streets &&& It is the prime bust of the year & the police are quite proud of themselves &&& Newspaper reporters are going to get this on prime time T.V. & the police will be rich & famous for this &&& Meanwhile, everybody is stealing from everybody else &&& At the same time, Dogstar is staring aghast at the horrible spectacle unfolding before his eyes here &&& This has got to be some sort of d.t.- induced hallucination &&& Unfortunately, this is as real as Jesus, Joseph, Mary, & the Holy Trinity &&& A police officer comes at him swinging a bloody stick &&& They are loading the Abominable Snow-Man into a paddy wagon &&& "If you're wise, sonny, you'll keep your runny drug-besotted nose out of this," snidely remarks the officer, whacking away at him &&& Dogstar nearly keels over with despair &&& He needs a connection &&& (Meanwhile, everything is interconnected) O, how the whole cookie is crumbling OOO O, why did he have to come into existence on this dreadful material realm? OOO O, why are there so many unanswered questions in the world?~+ It is one of those rare mid-winter days in January when the snow has abruptly thawed on the roads+~It is a warm 37 degrees & the sun is shining brightly on a bonny, bonny day in January+~Dogstar is out riding his bike~+It is so good to be out on the road again after being confined indoors all those months+~He is a bit cold, but not too cold+~He is well wrapped in several shirts, pants, coats, gloves, & face-mask~+He is riding upwards a long, long climb to someone who lives in a trailer in Jethro who is reputed to have some quads, barbs, & pot+~It's taking him a long time to climb up the High-Way+~He's going a little slow because of the chill factor+~Meanwhile, there's a funny white Cadillac which keeps following him+~Then it turns off on an obscure back-road+~He's getting paranoid again+~You can't be too paranoid in this sort of society~+What is beautiful day it is+~(O, watch out, Dogstar, don't let it deceive you)+~The fir trees are sparkling with snow~+(Watch out)~+The mountains are high & blue+~(Watch out!)~+Birds are happily tweating in branches at this spring-like day+~(You better watch it, Dogstar; things aren't quite what they appear to be)~+Meanwhile, a large pick-me-up truck is following rather close behind him+~(Watch out! O, please watch out!)~+Dogstar is looking up at the sky at a wispy cloud way above which is tinted a pleasant purplish-pink through his psychedelic "tea- shades"~+He is feeling fine~~He feels all set up on a "fix" he discovered hidden behind his toilet that morning~+~The pick-me-up truck honks loudly & rudely~+Dogstar doesn't give a fuck; let the impatient bastard honk & honk all he wants~~(You better get your shit together, you Dogstar!)++(Or else the dreadful Joker's gonna get you & rats will eat your brains out!)+~(The plot's about as laid on thick as it's gonna get now/not now)~~It has been getting later in the afternoon+~+All of a sudden, the temperature is drastically dropping~~~The turn-off to Jethro is approaching++(Watch out!)~+~There iiiissss a finely frozen patch of iiiicccceeee on the road ahead ~~(Watch it!)++Dogstar is benignly unaware of dangerous situations like this~+(Danger!~~~Danger!)~~He has better things to worry about, like where his next "fix" is going to come from+(Beep! Beep! Beep!)~+~The pick-me-up truck driver suddenly guns past, having lost the last shred of patience following this slow-poke motorbike-rider, in the process side-swiping him~~0( Why?)~~~The Dogstar loses his balance & careens out of the blue sky++Is it the road that is tilting so radically to the side or is it him on his bike?~+~Can this be the approach of death at last?~~Is this the Big It?~~Is this really gonna be the end?~~As if in very slow motion, his right knee grazes against the road, tearing a knee-patch in his pairs of jeans++The rear wheel skids over the sssslllliiiippppeeeerrrryyyy iiiicccceeee~~His blue helmet all covered with Cosmic Symbols bounces a few times & rolls to the side of the weary road~~Dogstar falls from the skidding bike, rolls over three time, & finds himself on the side of the road++Meanwhile, from around a curve comes a huge Mack-truck, as if right on schedule, just barely meating its dead-line, honking its ponderous horn++It runs over his exposed bike & grinds it to smitherins beneath its tremendous wheels ~+~It doesn't stop for this minor inconvenience~~The truck driver is revved-up on countless hand-fulls of speed & must meet its dead-line~~Dogstar forlornly watches its rear ride away++There is no traffic for awhile~+Dogstar stares shockedly at the shards & fragments of his once beloved bike+~ He is grounded++He can't go anywhere== He is stuck~~~Meanwhile, night has fallen, it is cold, & it is snowing again It is about time for the whole cookie to crumble into Blind Chaos @@@ It is time for the distillation of the Essence @@@ The Essence is All @@@ In order for the Essence to be revealed, the outer masks must be stripped away @@@ The Joker is Wild @@@ Everything is inter-connected @@@ That which goes up must also come down @@@ It's just the way it is @@@ Dogstar returns at last to Cloud 9 Lounge after much walking & a bit of unsuccessful hitch-hiking @@@ In his pocket, he has a bottle of Valiums & an ounce-&-a-half of pot which he had to pay way too much for, but was forced to pay due to the extent of his need @@@ He is a bit late for his job because of some technical difficulties such as having his primary mode of transportation smashed to bits & pieces by a Big-Mack truck @@@ He is three hours later than he was supposed to be at his job @@@ He enters the kitchen, prepared for another sickening round of shit-work, when Hairy Harry, the cigar-chewing manager of this sordid establishment, chewing furiously away, chews him out & promptly informs him that he is no longer needed as a filthy dishwasher at Cloud 9 Lounge @@@ Cloud 9 Lounge is going to be shut down by the Moral Majority of Wheatfield @@@ They do not approve of their act @@@ Their license to operate has been revoked by the authorities who oversee such things, primarily due to the excessive explicit display of human reproductive organs, both female & male @@@ Hairy Harry is as sorry as can be, but he is going to have to clear out by the end of the month, unless he wants to pay the new management $1000/month for the cottage he now lives in @@@ The whole place has been bought up by real estate dealers in New York City who plan to turn the place into condominiums for rich people taking weekend vacations up here @@@ "This is outrageous!" remarks Dogstar @@@ "That's how the Great Cookie crumbles, my boy," placidly replies Hairy Harry, chewing on his greasy cigar like a cow on its cud. "You can take it or fuck it." @@@ Meanwhile, the Dogstar grounds & nashes his teeth with considerable fury @@@ He is left with no choice but to leave this whole scene, thank God for that @@@ However, he doesn't really have anywhere to go @@@ Places for rent are very rare, due to excess population of students around University Town @@@ Those places that are for rent go $1000 & up for a whole place, $500 to share a place @@@ It is the middle of winter @@@ This is fucked-up @@@ He has no job @@@ No one will hire him @@@ Zounds! @@@ What is this world coming to? @@@ Dogstar quickly swallows a few pills @@@ They will not last long @@@ He vaguely wishes there were some way he could stop this world & get the hell off @@@ #$% Dogstar is stuck %$^ He has No-Where to go %$# The whole universe is a Divine Conspiracy especially directed against him ^%$ He sits at the bar in Cloud 9 Lounge *&^ He is having a few free drinks on the house on its final night open &^% These drinks are all the severence pay he is gonna get #$% Goddamn it! %$# He washes down some reds & yellow-jackets he scored from a dealer in the corner with some triple vodkas %$# O, how it stings the back of his throat #$% He wishes those three Japs were here %$# He'd beat the holy fuck out of them if they were here %$# A curse on this fucking material realm $$$ Fie, fie on this shitty existence $#@ Meanwhile, Stella Telestar is up there doing her act $$$ She is freely displaying everything she has &^% It doesn't matter anymore; they're busted anyway $#% Just look at all those sleazy weasy businessmen gloating & jeering & calling $#% One of the assholes calls to her to come down off the stage & piss in his mouth &^% Those sick, slick bastards! *&^ Those ultimate assholes of the universe! %$^ Those lowliest dregs of this material realm! %$# These are the very fuckheads who own the companies & the apartments of this region %$# These are the turd-brains who won't give him a decent job! %$# These are the jack-offs who raise the rent as exhorbitantly as they bloody well please %$# Who's to stop them? $#% They run this whole show %$# Why, he ought to get a machine-gun & gun all these bastards down $#% They deserve it %$@ They deserve to have rats eating their non- existent brains out #$% Night after night, Dogstar has had to wash their dirty dishes for them & this is all the thanks he gets %$^ Let them wash their own fucking dishes! ^%$ Meanwhile, Stella finishes her set %$# She comes down off the stage & goes by him as though he doesn't even exist %$# He has become a non-person in her eyes %$# She sits at the table of a rich businessman, chatting animatedly with him, leaning up against him, giving him all the come-on $$$ He surreptitiously gives her a line of cocaine $$$ Incidentally, this man is running for mayor of University Town & will win due to there being no well-funded opposition $$$ Why that dirty slut! %$# Dogstar's eyes pop out with rage at this sight $*& After all they'd shared & she does this brush-off to him %^& Dogstar looks away fighting an urge to puke &^% He drowns down another triple %$# He can't even see himself straight in the bar-mirror anymore; he is seeing three of himself *&^ He sees three Dogstars in a row all slugging down their triples &^% The stage-set is now empty %$^ Now at last is his chance to get up there & tell those bastards what he really thinks of them ^%& What's it matter? &^% His whole set-up is busted anyway &^% Now he's good & shit-faced enough to do it %^$ He pushes his way past the packed floor & gets up on the stage &^% He hovers swayingly above them & screams out at them: "YOU FUCKING ASSHOLES! YOU SET THIS WHOLE THING UP, DIDN'T YOU? YOU THINK YOU OWN THE WHOLE FUCKING WORLD, DON'T YOU? WELL, YOU CAN LICK MY BLOODY ASSHOLE SINCE YOU FUCKED IT! I BET SOME OF YOU CLOSET FAGGOTS WOULD LOVE THAT, WOULDN'T YOU? I BET YOU WOULD LIKE ME TO SHIT ALL OVER YOUR SLIMY FACES! YOU SIT THERE NICE & COZY GLOATING AT ME BECAUSE YOU THINK YOU HAVE ALL THE CARDS IN YOUR FAVOR, DON'T YOU? YOU BASTARDS MAKE ME SICK! YOU ASSHOLES MAKE ME WANT TO THROW UP! YOU ARE ALL HYPOCRITES & THIEVES & YOU CHEAT & BEAT ON YOUR WIVES & YOU GIVE CAMPAIGN FUNDS TO THE PRESIDENT WHO WILL LET YOU RAPE & PLUNDER THE WORLD TO YOUR HEART'S CONTENT & YOUR CHILDREN HATE YOU & YOU MAKE EVERYBODY SLAVES & YOU EXPLOIT & YOU DISTORT & YOU SUCK DEAD DOG DICKS & YOU CAN JUST FUCKING WIPE MY ASS & YOUR PROSTITUTES & MISTRESSES CAN'T STAND THE SIGHT OF YOU & THEY JUST DO IT FOR THE MONEY & YOUR DIMINUATIVE PENISES ARE GOING TO ROT & FALL OFF & YOUR FUCKING EMPIRE IS GOING TO CRUMBLE & RATS ARE GOING TO EAT YOUR BRAINS OUT & EVERYBODY'S GOING TO BE GLAD WHEN YOU ARE DEAD & YOU MAKE ME SO SICK & FED-UP TO HERE, I'M GOING TO PUT ON A ACT FOR YOU, ALL RIGHT, I'M GOING TO THROW UP ALL OVER YOUR FAT FUCKING FACES, YES, I'M GOING TO PUKE ALL OVER YOU & YOUR SICK, SLICK KIND..." $%@ And with that grand exclamation, the Dogstar, drunk out of his skull & flying on barbituates, feels a sudden lurching in his stomach %^& Here he is actually telling them off ^%$ He laughs maniacally, leans over the edge of the stage, & spews out gallons upon galleons of stinking acidic bile all over their shocked dazed faces @#$ He sways & sways & sees three separate audiences staring with horror & revulsion at this mad obscenity on the stage &^% He pukes & pukes spasmodically until he is doubling over with the dry heaves %^$ Meanwhile, the massive Chinese thug-bouncer gets down to the business at hand & drags his ass out of there & hurls him out on the bitter cold snow where he falls flat on his face & promptly passes out $%^ Dogstar picks himself up out of the snow &&& He wonders how he managaged to wind up there &&& His head is aching & his vision is spinning around & around &&& He quickly swallows a few barbs &&& There - that should set things straight &&& He must have gotten really fucked up or something &&& Something flashes across his memory &&& Did he really shout at all those patrons of Cloud 9 Lounge like that? &&& O well, what the hell, just one of those things &&& Meanwhile, he's horny & he's lonely & he wants to get laid &&& He staggers thru the swirling snow to Stella Telestar's cottage &&& He bangs on the door &&& He hears female cries & gasps in there &&& Is someone committing some kind of crude violence on her? &&& He pounds again even harder &&& A man's familiar voice from within yells at him to go away, they're busy &&& He can have his turn another time &&& Dogstar is not going to be put off this way &&& He starts yelling & kicking at the door &&& Stella also tells him to go away - she doesn't want to see him anymore &&& Dogstar keeps pounding &&& How can they do this to him? &&& He's got to get laid &&& Right this minute &&& He kicks & hammers away at the door as snow steadily falls & piles up around his ankles &&& Why is everything so topsy-turvy all of a sudden? &&& "Please, Stella," he pleads frantically, "just one more time - that's all I ask - just for old time's sake - hey, remember that great 69 we did by candlelight for the Devil?" &&& At last, the door swings open & who is it there but Hairy Harry with a towel around his middle, cigar still chewing away in his mouth &&& Hairy Harry threatens to pound the shit out of him if he persists in this childishness &&& At this revelation of the Horrible Truth, Dogstar feels supremely betrayed &&& "Oh, so it's you all along, isn't it?" &&& Dogstar turns away, again feeling the urge to puke &&& He shouts at them thru the door as it slams shut again: "FUCK YOUR BRAINS OUT UNTIL THE END OF THE WORLD, SWEETHEARTS, THEN THE RATS WILL EAT THE LEFTOVER MORSELS! I'M GONNA GO WAY, WAY BEYOND WHERE YOU ARE!" &&& Dogstar doesn't really even know what he's saying anymore &&& O, rue the day that he was born &&& He is a loser & no one in this world loves a loser &&& How can she do this to him after all their good times together? &&& Ah, she's just like all the rest of 'em &&& Everybody rips off everybody else &&& This is the thing that maintains the physical world &&& Ah, the pain & the misery & the supreme irony &&& It is in the wee hours of the morning & Cloud 9 Lounge is closed for that particular night & for good (!) Meanwhile, the Dogstar is still rambling on, getting weirder & weirder (?) The snow-clouds have cleared away & the half-moon is rising in the east of Wheatfield, grinning wickedly as she illuminates the snow bright-yellow (+) The Dogstar is ripped out of his gourd (*) The rats are going to get his brains tonight (&) He is snickering insanely & uncontrollably (~) He is going to live out a fantasy long entertained in the innermost recesses of his head during those long, long nights washing those dishes (*) He crunches across the snow & kicks down the rear door at 3 A.M. like a storm trooper (&) He hurries to the bar & grabs a bottle of 150 proof Puerto Rican rum, slugging it down rapidly (!) At least this stuff's still legal (^) For better or worse (+) What the fuck does he have to lose anyway? (*) It's his last night here anyway (~) He gets drunk as shit & goes back to the kitchen & starts breaking the dishes (&) O, how they tinkle & crash (!) O, how they smatter to smitherins (?) He pushes cart-loads of them out unto the main lounge & smashes them all over the floor (*) He puts on thundering music of his choice on the sound system, some song about the end of all civilization (&) He goes behind the bar & breaks all the glasses (+) There are shards & fragments of his previous responsibility all over the floor, scratching into the polished wood (^) He feels satisfied (~) He should have done this long before this (%) He sits at the bar, nursing his rum (*) He reflects upon the utter stupidity of his sordid life ($) What is the point of it all anyway? (#) He proceeds to knock over a few rows of liquor bottles (@) He turns on the beer tap, holds it, & lets it run all over (-) He vaguely wonders what he is trying to prove with all this anyway (?) He doesn't care (*) He doesn't feel a thing (+) Meanwhile, he notices himself in the bar mirror (&) There are three of him sitting there looking back at this stupidity he has become (~) He never wanted it to happen like this(^)Why?(?)Why?(!)Why?<***>"I HATE YOU!" he suddenly screams at his tripled reflection ($) "WHY DO YOU HAVE TO BE ME?" he screams (!) He suddenly hurls his bottle at the mirror, smashing it into a million-zillion fragments, as though that would end it all right then & there (+) "I'M FINISHED WITH BEING WHAT I AM! I'M THROUGH WITH BEING DOGSTAR!" (%) He then pisses all over the floor (*) He lights up a Winston cigarette & puffs meditatively on it for awhile (&) He gets an inspiration (#) He drops the still-lit butt on some spilled gin & vodka (*) There is a mad gleam in his eyes as he watches it burn (^) He likes a good fire every now & then (~) Isn't this romantic (?) The flames get higher, lapping away at the wood of the bar (!) He staggers the hell out of there (~) This is too weird to be true (^) Meanwhile, it is time to put a stop to the world///Dogstar is back in his cottage again///He intends to make this his last night both there & in the whole world///After all, why go on?///He has seen it all///He has experienced just about the whole round of the spectrum of possible experiences in this realm///There is only one definitive conclusion///Everybody is a thief & a hypocrite///There is absolutely no hope for the human race///It is all ruled by the Joker///The Joker is Wild///It would really be rather redundant to hang around & witness & experience more of this misery & pain & transient pleasure & irony///Dogstar pours down the whole bottle of what is left of his barbs down his gullet, washing it down with a few shots of vodka///He moves the chest of drawers across the front door, so no one will barge in as he takes his final reat///He smokes his last cigarette while waiting for it to take effect///Well, it was all very interesting while it lasted///But, of course, it really can't go on any further///Nothing is permanent anyway///Dogstar takes a few puffs of pot to mix with it all///He kind of wishes he had some L.S.D., too///What a way to go///Well, this is going to be the Trip to end all trips///The Death-Experience, man, it's the Ultimate!///Meanwhile, he is getting sleepier & sleepier///He wonders how much longer he will be able to keep it in focus///He yawns///He's so tired of it all///He's so weary///He lies down on his un-made bed & closes his eyes///There was really not very much point to the whole thing anyway///It was really all so boring, so utterly droll, such a played-out joke///Really just the same thing re-run over & over in slightly varying forms///Meanwhile, the icy winds circle around & around the cottage///It is getting colder///They must have turned off the heat///Dogstar cozily crawls beneath the blankets & drifts off to sleep///At the same time, total, absolute, final blackness sets in/// Dogstar wakes up in the middle of the night 666 An unusual-looking fellow is sitting next to him at his table pulled up beside the bed 666 This odd fellow is helping himself to what is left of Dogstar's pot & the bottle of rum 666 He is puffing away on a cigar-sized joint 666 He does not look like your average human being either 666 He has pointed ears, clawed feet, & scales on his legs 666 He has 'Solve' tattooed on one arm & 'Coagula' tattooed on the other 666 It is the Devil, just as he appears in the Wild Card 666 The Devil notices that Dogstar's eyes are open 666 He looks his way & says: "Well, I'm certainly glad you're awake... I thought you'd never get up." 666 Dogstar rubs his bleary eyes & says: "Who the hell are you?" "Who the hell is right... I am the Devil... I am here to make you an offer you can't possibly refuse." 666 "Awwww, leave me alone," says Dogstar trying to go back to sleep 666 "What? And turn down this unique once-in-a-lifetime offer? It's not everyday that you get offered unlimited power & immortality, you know." 666 Dogstar sits up a bit, wondering why he feels so drained; he must have taken too many sleeping pills or something 666 "Yeah, I know all about your 'offers'... I suppose you want my soul in exchange, right?" 666 "O no, nothing as drastic as that... That went out a few centuries ago... We are a bit more modern than that..." 666 "Then what the hell do you want in exchange... Everything has its price..." 666 "Well, Mr. Dogstar, considering the dire straits you seem to have fallen on, I am kindly offering you absolute immortality & unlimited power, if you will only sign on with my company as an insurance salesman... We'll start you with Life- insurance & for starting pay, we'll pay you 50 grand a year... That's unusually good, you know... We can arrange a way for you to get a considerable commission on the deaths & we'll arrange the deaths, so this won't involve any of the dirty work... Your job is to just hoodwink as many people as you can for this fraudulent life-insurance which covers burial expenses & widow's compensation, of course... You just do this 40 hours a week, fifty weeks a year, for all of eternity... Now, just think, if you can mangage to put away just 10 grand a year in the bank, your interest will accrue, so you'll have 1,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000 dollars in about a million years... Inflation will eat some of that up, of course, but you'll be able to buy at least a few planets with it, maybe even a small galaxy or two, then you'll be in real estate... Just try to imagine the unlimited possibilites in a deal like this" 666 The Devil won't leave him alone 666 The Devil enumerates the details all night long 666 Dogstar has lost interest 666 He rolls over, goes back to sleep, & tries to shut the rambling voice out 666 Never try to make a deal with the Devil 666 There is a loud pounding on the door OOO "Now what?" Dogstar moans as he gets out of bed & removes the chest of drawers from the front door OOO "Now, who could this be at this ungodly hour of the night, or early morning as it happens to be?" OOO He opens the door & there is this 8 foot high man-ape covered with silky white fur OOO Except for the face, which looks almost human, though a bit monkeyish OOO The man-ape looks like he has been crying & his tears are frozen on his cheeks OOO "Please let me in," he pleads, "O please let me in & hear my story... Please don't get scared & close the door on my face..." OOO Boy, this is weird OOO "All right," says the Dogstar, "all right already, come on in... I just... wasn't expecting anyone or anything like you at this ungodly hour of the morning..." OOO Dogstar offers him a seat next to the table & makes him a cup of tea to warm the poor fellow up OOO He offers him a joint, but the tall man-ape politely refuses OOO The man-ape has to stoop a bit to avoid putting a hole in the flimsy ceiling of the cottage OOO "Now, who or what are you?" Dogstar asks him OOO The man-ape breaks down & starts crying OOO Dogstar kindly offers him a handkerchief OOO The man-ape blows his nose & tells his tale: OOO "It is I who am the legendary Abominable Snowman... That's what they call me... I am the last of my kind... I am all alone in this world & I have no mate... I am so lonely... I don't know why they're so scared of me... They call me 'Abominable', but I'm not... All I want is just a little company... I live for thousands of years & I have been alone all this time... But everytime they see me, they always run away... It's so sad... I feel so bad, I hide up in the mountains all the time..." OOO Dogstar, despite his extreme tiredness (he really shouldn't have taken so many of those pills last night), does his best to console the Abominable Snowman OOO He makes him some more tea & turns him on to a bit of pot OOO By dawn's early light, he has him roaring with laughter & telling tales of their long-lost civilization in the Himalayas OOO This is so weird, it has to be a dream... OOOOOOO Doggy-Star comes startled awake as though he has just had a nightmare... He reaches drowsily over to turn on the light... But it won't turn on for some reason... The air is filled with little iggly-squiggly things swirling around like a bunch of multi- colored molecules... Dogstar gets out of bed feeling as though he is floating rather than standing on his own two feet... This is too weird to be real... Therefore it must be a dream... Yet it is too real to be a dream... Uh, oh, this must be another one of those out-of-body experiences he has heard so much about... He looks behind him for confirmation... Yep, sure enough, there it is, the physical husk of him sleeping soundly away... Or is it dead?... Dogstar leans over it... It does not appear to be breathing... He tries to touch it... It feels like a cold fish... It looks blue... He looks away... O well, what the hell, if it's dead, it's dead... No use crying over spilt physical matter... He decides to go for a walk... Or more like going for a 'float'... He floats thru the door... It is dawn out there... Pink sunrise shines on pink snow... He doesn't feel cold at all... He has no sense of touch whatsoever... It's so peaceful out here... This wouldn't be a bad way to exist permanently... It looks different somehow... Something is amiss with the building that used to be Cloud 9 Lounge... Hmmmm, looks like there was a little fire last night... The whole place is burnt down to the ground... Police are sifting thru the ashes, attempting to discern the cause of the fire... Maybe some drunk businessman tossed a still-burning cigarette in the wrong corner on his way out... Maybe the cook was too stoned on his last night to remember to turn the burners off... Maybe the owner burned it down for the insurance, because it was certainly too much of a mess to bother renovating... Who knows?... Dogstar finds he can read the police officer's thoughts as though they were on a billboard advertised aloud in broad daylight... An interesting perspective... There wouldn't be any privacy, if everybody could do this... So far, they don't seem to suspect him, a mere ex-dishwasher... Though there was a report of some rowdy behavior on his part the previous night - he probably had too much to drink... But dishwashers don't do things like that... They're too stupid to do that... Most of them are high-school drop-outs... Dogstar finds he can insert these thoughts into the police officer's head... It's just not the kind of thing a dishwasher would do... Then Dogstar tries to go for a 'float' across the field, but finds himself inexorably pulled back... He is yanked back as though by a flexible cord yanking him backwards... He is instantly rolling over in the bed in his physical body... He reaches over drowsily to turn on the light... It will not turn on... O no, here we go again... O, how utterly cold it is OOO O, how utterly dark it is OOO O, how utterly ironic it is OOO There is absolutely nothing here OOO This is even more barren than the most desolate arctic waste OOO There is no up & down here OOO There is no backwards or forwards OOO There is neither left nor right OOO There is neither right nor wrong OOO There is neither everything nor nothing OOO There is no ground below or sky above OOO There is neither Heaven nor Hell OOO There is neither life nor death OOO It is so black, black, black, the inkiest, thickest, nth-most degree of black imaginable OOO There is not even that nor white OOO There are no thoughts here OOO There is neither matter or energy OOO There is no center OOO There is no periphery OOO There is no mind nor is there a body OOO There is no sound & there is no light OOO There is no touch, taste, smell, or feeling OOO All the ordinary props taken for granted are utterly gone OOO There is neither consciousness nor unconsciousness OOO It is the way it has always been OOO All the rest was but a Dream OOOOO Dogstar is running his ass off as fast as he possibly can down a long neon-lit circular tunnel!!! The Reality-Police, dressed completely in translucent aluminum-foil are after him!!! They are firing laser-beams at him!!! The tunnel stretches down infinity & there is no end in sight!!! The Reality-Police aim & fire as he runs zig-zagging dodging the zip-zapping beams of ultra-violet light!!! His footsteps echo-echo-echo forever & ever!!! There is no escape from Reality!!! The Reality-Police are everywhere!!! He runs & he runs & he runs, but no matter how fast he runs, it's never fast enough!!! He finds another neon-lit tunnel which goes in another direction!!! It is the same circular tunnel everywhere!!! It goes on & on for Infinity!!! There is no end to Infinity!!! He is trapped in Infinity!!! There is no escape!!! He finds another tunnel which goes in another direction!!! It is the same circular tunnel!!! The Reality-Police are still the same distance behind him!!! He runs!!! He runs!!! He runs!!! See the Dog-Star run!!! No matter how fast he runs, it is never fast enough!!! A laser-beam gets him & cuts his right arm off!!! He runs & runs & runs!!! All the neon-lit circular tunnels lead towards Infinity!!! An ultra-violet beam of light neatly slices off his left arm!!! Bleeding all over, he keeps running!!! The echoes of his footsteps roar down the length of infinity making a noise like an approaching train!!! They get his right leg!!! Somehow, he is still able to run by hopping on his left foot like a madcap rabbit!!! Now they have sliced off his head!!! His body continues to run!!! O, no!!! They got his remaining leg!!! His body rolls over & over, rolling down the long, neon- lit tunnel like a rolling stone gathering no moss!!! They obliterate him to seperate atoms & molecules!!! There is no escape from Reality!!! He is surrounded on all sides by Infinity!!! He will inevitably be captured!!! Yet he runs & runs & runs!!! See the Dog-Star run!!! Dogstar just can't take it anymore+++He takes refuge in the local mental health institution~~~He is telling his problems to the head psychiatrist---The psychiatrist solemnly nods his head (he has heard it all before from other loonies) & continually scribbles down notes^^^The following dialogue takes place: Dogstar (glancing around at the walls nervously): "That's just it, sir. They're all after me: The Reality-Police chasing me down infinite white tunnels, Sirian Intelligence Agents disguised as three Japanese computer salesmen, helicopters following me through the woods, white Cadillacs tail-gating me on the road, smack freaks after my precious drugs. I just can't seem to trust anybody these days. For all I know, you're one of them." (Nervous laughter) (The psychiatrist takes note of this.) Examining Psychiatrist (grinning amusedly): "Now, now, Dogstar, come on. Surely you don't really believe that. After all, we are here to help you. We are here to help you adapt to Reality. You can feel free to tell us any thing you want." Dogstar: "Well, I just don't know. It's hard to know any thing for sure these days. It's like everybody is wearing masks & they're all pretending to be the opposite of what they really are. They're all playing some sort of game to get something they covertly want. Sometimes they all look like robots to me. Maybe they really are robots. Maybe this is all some sort of big game that some Cosmic Intelligence from beyond is playing with us." Examining Psychiatrist: "Hmmmm, you do sound a bit paranoid to me, if you don't mind me saying so. Nothing that a little Thorazine won't eradicate, though. So when did all this start happening to you? Can you remember anything of significance when you were, say, about three years old?" Dogstar: "Well, yes, as a matter of fact, I do seem to remember having an idea about there being something special about me. I can remember sitting on the beach where I was born & looking out at the ocean. I suddenly had this weird idea that I'd been there before. Like I'd lived this whole lifetime before & this is just one of many re-runs." Examining Psychiatrist: "Hmmmm, this is all very interesting, if you don't mind me saying so. Now I hope you won't mind stepping out into the hall while I make a phone call or two so we can, ahem, evaluate your situation. I think we can help you, that is, if you are willing to allow us." As soon as Dogstar is out of the room, the psychiatrist removes his human mask```There is the face of an insect underneath***The insect quickly makes a few brief phone calls to the attendants to come grab Dogstar & give him the Sirius treatment~~~The insect writes down in its notebook: "Subject Dogstar knows too much. He's too aware of what is really going on. He suspects far too much. Keep him confined in solitary until he is reconstituted. Don't dare let him escape. He's talking too much. Who knows what he might blab out." Well, it looks like they got him, the bastards ### Dogstar is stuck inside the booby hatch now %%% He is pacing up & down the long halls with the other loonies *** Of all the rotten luck ^^^ And he was so naive as to trust that fucking psychiatrist (&) When's he ever going to learn (?) You can't trust any of these bastards anymore @#$ Now the Reality-Police have got him where they want him *&^ Now they can keep him under "observation" %$^ Now they can perform all kinds of bizarre experiments on him until he convinces them he has accepted the "Official Reality" $#@ They can't have people going around with different realities &^% It isn't healthy for the economy $#@ O well, wot the hell, they do give him some nice pills anyway *&^ He hardly feels a thing #&% There is some black dude who keeps pacing up & down the halls chanting the Qu'ran *&% He says he is the Incarnate One *&$ He must be out of his ever-loving mind *@% Like everybody else in this place *&^ There's a midget who keeps wandering up & down handing out sheets that describe alternative realities &#* There's an eight foot tall man- ape they captured & put in there &^* They've got him on a rather tight schedule $%^ Time to rise & shine at 7:00 A.M. &^% A hearty breakfast at 8:00 A.M. $^* Occupational therapy from 9:00 - 11:00 A.M. &%* Session with the attending shrink from 11:00 - 12:00 A.M. *&^ Medication time #*% Time for a delicious lunch of split peas at 12:00 noon sharp *&@ Naptime promptly at 1:00 P.M. (no excuses allowed) *#% Another exciting round of occupational therapy from 2:00 - 4:00 P.M., a good time to catch up on that special ashtray project !#? Group therapy at 5:00, where you can tell it like it is to your peers (that is, if you dare) *&^ More medication & a yummy dinner at 6:00 P.M. *^% Color T.V. or a dance or a skit from 7:00 - 9:00 P.M. &^* And finally, more medication just before bedtime & lights out promptly at 10:00 P.M. sharp *#% All in all, not a particularly bad routine *#@ Not a bad way to round out the days & years of his stale life &*~ The day has come for Dogstar to be "reconstituted" ~~~ This is going to be his lucky day, the attendants inform him as though it were Christmas or his birthday or something ~~~ They drug him & drug him until he is drooling helplessly ~~~ They lead him down a long white circular tunnel which leads down into the subterranean chambers of the Institution ~~~ There is something glowing & pulsating down there at the end ~~~ Dogstar is somewhat apprehensive in the midst of his drug haze ~~~ There is a loud thump-thump-thump in there like a huge heart beating ~~~ He is dragged unwillingly into the Central Processing Room where there is this small, wiry, white-cloaked archetypical mad scientist who enthusiastically greets him ~~~ "Ah, yes, you must be the lucky patient scheduled for today," says he, eagerly rubbing his hands ~~~ He goes on & on about the wonderful benefits of the "treatment" he is about to go through, as though he won the Grand Sweepstakes or something ~~~ "I am the mysterious, marvelous Dr. Zappo," he unbiddenly introduces himself, "& I am going to zap you right out of your ever-loving mind>>>" ~~~ Dogstar screams & struggles against the confines of the straight-jacket as the veils come off & he sees the nature of the equipment: A massive ray-gun pointed at the head of the operating table ~~~ "Strap him down, my dear boys, strap him down & don't let him get away - this fellow's going to get the zap of his dear, dear life>>>" ~~~ The venerable Dr. Zappo is merry & cheerful at the prospect of another subject freely provided by the Reality Authorities whom he can do anything he wishes to ~~~ Meanwhile, Dogstar screams & struggles against his boundaries, but it is no use, they've finally got him just where they want him ~~~ "Now, just look into the Grand Tube, Doggy-Star, & everything will be just A-Okay," says the mad-cap doctor giggling hysterically, as he snaps on the million mega-watts that are going to be injected into his brain ~~~ "Say, 'Ahhhhhhh.......'>>>" grins the insane Dr. Zappo as a blazing sheer-white light drills into the interior realms of his skull & an oceanic hum reverberates in his head ~~~ Dogstar shrieks & flops up & down on the operating table, writhing in countless convulsions, as he witnesses zillions of stars, crosses, & triangles flying out at him ~~~~~~~ In order to be re-constituted, you have to be de-constituted *** It is time for the weird to get even weirder *** Dogstar's whole life is flashing by *** When Dogstar was a child, he used to sit on the rocky beach & stare out at the distant oceans, wondering what he was going to be when he grows up *** "Yessirree, you're a chip off the old genetic template," remarks his Grandpa to him *** "Why?" *** "And you shall beat your swords into plowshares *** "The entire objective universe is but a hoax of the physical senses" *** Dogstar finds himself being followed around by three Japs *** "Fire!" cried Lt. Jim Jones *** You must go back to the world now," said Llang Llong *** Something is equal to nothing *** "The entire universe is composed of three basic forces: positive, negative, & catalytic" *** Dogstar smoked pot for the first time when he was 14 *** "Fire!" cried Lt. Jim Jones, as he blazed up in a fiery Hell of his own making *** Dogstar slips his shimmering Lucifer into Stella's glistening Isis *** "Fire! Goddammit! Fire, you chickenshits!" *** "You are the catalyst of your very own reality" *** Dogstar did L.S.D. for the first time when he was 15 *** Dogstar hums an ancient Indian chant to the setting sun *** Then, when he was already to go to college, his draft notice came *** "Blessed are the peacemakers, for they shall see God" *** "Fire! Fire!" shreiks Lt. Jim Jones, as Dogstar at last willingly followed his orders & pulled the trigger right into the C.O. himself *** "Everything is nothing!" *** Tigers stared at him in the jungle with huge emerald-green eyes, wondering if he is anything good to eat *** Cat-tracks lead out into the snow thirty feet from the cottage, then disappear *** A wondrous beam of light shoots out of the sky *** Dogstar bitterly washes dishes in the sink, up to his ankles in food-scraps *** He pops another unused vein to inject another dose of smack into himself *** "Yeah, man, that's it!," says one of the Beat-niks at his Birth-Day party, "we'll call him 'Dogstar'" *** Dogstar got laid for the first time when he was 13 *** Dogstar stares abjectly at the shards & fragments of what used to be his beloved motor-bike *** "Why is the sky?" *** "We cannot remain in our ivory towers of enlightenment forever, you know" *** Dogstar stands at the top of the Big One, staring at vast distances *** He falls asleep in the back of the last bus to Wheatfield *** "Take it off! Take it off!" screams someone from the audience *** Across the field, a bird exchanges limbs on an oak tree *** "It never happens the same way twice" *** Dogstar is riding up a long, long hill *** "You must go on a long journey, but never fear, our paths will cross again" *** Dogstar stares out the window at a single clinging leaf *** God bless the murmuring maw which shall masicate the morrow///"Fire!" cries the warrior as he blazes up in a fiery Hell of his own fiery violence///Everything is interconnected///The Joker is Wild///Dogstar is being tailgated by three huge trucks///The young deer stares at him with huge, wistful eyes///"No!" beseeches the landlord as he sees his fate on the chopping block, "Anything but that!"///The grimey, slimey Devil rules the world///Dogstar crashes thru the trees frantically trying to escape the din of the helicopters above///"Someday... You will be One with the One"///Dogstar lies on the rocks high above, rolls his head to the side, & expires///"One with the One"///Dogstar licks the tip of the young girl's clitoris with the top of his tongue///"One with the One"///He screams with agony as Stella brands his left ass-cheek with an upright triangle///Off comes the landlord's head with a sickening thump///"One with the One"///He rolls the books out of their shelves & smashes all the mirrors///"Why must I die?"///He shrieks as the base of his spine is branded with two intertwining serpents///"Why is the sky?"///Dogstar gently licks the top of Stella's clitoris with the tip of his tongue///The Joker has gone Wild///She holds his head & sighs with pleasure///"Why am I high?"///"I hate you!" screams Dogstar as he hurls the half-empty, half-full bottle at his reflection in the mirror///They pursue him down long, glowing- white circular corridors, zapping away at him with beams of ultra-violet light///Zero = Infinity///"One with the One"///All the corridors lead to Infinity///He is surrounded on all sides by Reality///There is no escape///His blue helmet all covered with Cosmic Symbols rolls to the side of the desolate icy High-Way///The shining full moon rises above pitch-black October mountains///The Joker can be assigned any value you want it to have///Plants do nothing but take long sunbaths on long warm peaceful summer days///The grasshopper on his knee looks almost human///Meanwhile, unlimited quantities of snow swirl around his ankles///Dogstar snorts unlimited quantities of snow off the mirror into his nostrils///"I'm so lonely," weeps the Abominable Snow-Man, who really isn't that Abominable, once you get to know him///Dogstar is riding again, down the long darkening High-Way, wearing his beat-up army jacket, his cheapo Woolworth's Space-Age L.E.D. watch, & his blue helmet all covered in Cosmic Symbols///"Eat It & Run," says the forlorn abandoned sign, swinging rustily in the western wind///Everybody rips off everybody else///Is there no end in sight?///Say, "Ahhhhhh......" says the maniacal Dr. Zappo///"You will be One with the One"/// Hang on your hats, ladies & gentlemen - we are going thru!~~~Weare pleased to announce that the dog really does have Buddha-nature~~~The grass is green & everybody is going to live happily ever after~~~The Three will assuredly merge & will become One~~~Everything's just going to be A-okay~~~The Joker rules the universe & it's going just Wild~~~Blue is the sky & high is why~~~ Dogstar rides up to the base of the Big One at last... O, how long has he longed to be here all this time... The dreadful cold winter is finally over & he is back on the road again... How sweetly sing the birds... The grass is such a delicate green in the bonny, bonny fields... The Big One is thirty miles high in this reality-dimension... He spends days & days climbing up sheer exposed monoliths... Whenever he thinks he has reached the peak at last, there turns out to be another peak above & beyond it... For days & days he climbs & climbs up, up, up, always towards the zenith of the purple- blue sky... The air is getting distinctively thinner & there is the sound of choruses of angels singing all around... The colors are so sharp & pronounced... The tiny flowers are so fine & delicate... There is a sweet rose-perfume pervading everywhere... He must be entering into the Realm of Heaven... After much climbing & struggle, he finally makes it to the very Tip-Tip-Top... He can see all of the Whole Wide World from up here, the entire Physical Realm, all the myriad beings down below continuing to carry out their pathetic daily struggles, wondering what it's all going to come to... He can see all the places & spaces he has ever been... He can even see beyond the blue, blue sky into the Infinite Spaces... Then he turns & sees his old Master & mentor, Llang Llong, standing right there beside him... Llang Llong shakes his head & says: "As beautiful & magnificent, as this all is, you cannot yet stay... You are not ready to go permanently Beyond... You must go back... You cannot get off the Wheel yet... You must make a journey to the Caves in the North... There you must stay until you find the Answer. Good luck. You are going to need it." Then there is a loud, persistent pounding on the door ### "Open up in there!" rudely commands an authoritative voice ### Pound-pound-pound ### Dogstar wakes up with a pounding headache ### The pounding on the door goes in synchronization with the pounding in his head ### Man, he must have taken way too many sleeping pills the night before ### He notices the empty bottle & remembers vaguely what happened the night before ### "Open up or we'll break the fucking door down!" ### There is a pool of blue bile on the floor next to his bed ### Shit, he must have thrown it all up ### So much for useless suicide attempts ### "OPEN UP!" ### POUND-POUND-POUND ### Wow, he feels like he must have been asleep for days ### Boy o boy, does he have the worst hang-over of his life ### Meanwhile, his heart pound-pound-pounds as he attempts to lift his heavy bulk out of the bed ### It's hard for him to remember everything that happened ### Man, he sure did have some weird dreams, though ### POUND-POUND- POUND ### They try to force their way in, but have some trouble, because he thoughtfully left the heavy dresser against the door ### Man, what a mess this place is in - bottles & cigarette butts & roaches & spilled pills all over the place ### There is enough shit in here to get him life-imprisonment in the federal penitentiary ### Meanwhile, whoever it is out there, gives up & walks away, yelling that he'd be back with some help, so he better get his ass out of there immediately ### Dogstar quickly gathers up some of the pills on the floor & swallows them ### He has no idea what they contain & doesn't care ### He briefly assesses the general situation & comes to the following conclusion: As the pills smooth him out somewhat, he packs a rucksack with a sleeping bag, a porta-tent, a manual for outdoor survival, whatever unperishable light-weight food there is such as peanuts & crackers & fruit-loops, a few toilet articles, a canteen, a cooking kit, matches, &, last but not least, the last of his pot & pills. All the basic essentials. He sneaks out the rear window, barely fitting himself & the rucksack thru. It is mid-morning. The sunshine has come out. It is barely warm enough to thaw the uppermost layers of snow. He makes his way carefully across the snow-covered field in the back. He uses the stalking techniques taught to him in basic training of the army to keep himself unseen & unheard. He comes to the railroad tracks. He hikes up the railroad tracks north for about ten miles. He camps there for the night. The next day, he starts hiking up to the village of Warlock along a trail that will go to Warlock Mountain. Far from the madness of the lowlands of Wheatfield & University Town, he is finished with the whole thing. He will never go back again.
Click HERE to go to Part III. - Waking Up