Laurie had the house all to herself when the landlady was away. What a wonderful feeling! It was almost as if she owned a house of her own, which was unlikely in reality with her low salary as a nurse and the prices of houses going up and up every year. She had lived in rooms and had shared apartments with people but that always made her feel confined. She did not like to share space with people because she basically liked to be by herself. The presence of other people made her rather uncomfortable. She would always get into arguments with roommates about who gets to use the kitchen at what times. She did not like to have to look at the roommates' dirty dishes and have to clean up their messes. Messiness of any sort was very aggravating to her.
The beauty of the situation is she worked second shift at her nursing job and her landlady worked first shift. By the time she got home, her landlady was already in bed, so she had the place alone. But she really liked it in the morning when her landlady was away at work. Then she could watch whatever she wanted on the big T.V. in the living room (she liked soap operas). Her landlady was often away on weekends visiting her boyfriend who lived in another town fifty miles away. Then she could have a blast!
The rent wasn't that high either. The landlady was not a particularly greedy woman and asked a relatively low rent for her staying in the room, only $250 month while a lot of rooming houses were asking prices like $400 month. It was a steal!
It was a nice house in a safe neighborhood in a small town near Asheville, North Carolina (where she worked) with lots of rooms. She had the entire upstairs to herself, so it wasn't so bad even when the landlady was there. The only drawback was she had to go downstairs to use the bathroom. They had to share the shower which was a bummer. However, the landlady had her own bathroom in her own bedroom, so she had the bathroom more often than not.
For months like this, Laurie lived in her little paradise, pretending she had a house all of her own.
Then one night, Laurie came back to discover a bunch of bags on the back porch. What is the meaning of this! There was a man sitting on the back porch and he was smoking a cigarette! Laurie hated the smell of cigarettes! The man was uncouthly dressed with a big beard and longish hair. He eyed her with interest. There was a sardonic smirk on his lips.
Laurie hurried into the house, not looking in his direction at all. Maybe if she didn't acknowledge his presence he'd just disappear into thin air. She did not like this one bit! What was the landlady trying to pull here anyway? Did she just get another person to replace or add to her? She noticed a note on the refrigerator:
"Laurie - My brother will be staying here awhile. Sonja."
Meanwhile, the man, Jake, mused about this boarder of his sister. Listening to cicadas out in the yard chirping up a storm and restlessly puffing on smokes, he wondered what she was so uptight about. Why she didn't even say as much as "Hi!" to him. His sister, Sonja, warned him about this, that Laurie was a somewhat reserved person and it would be best to avoid her.
But, like a kid being told not to get his hands in a certain cookie jar, he just couldn't resist the temptation to try. Besides, she was quite a looker! He had vague thoughts about getting into her pants.
You see, he had not been with a woman in five years. He had barely even seen a woman in five years, unless you want to count the crude mindless babes posted up on jail cells. He had just gotten out of prison after five years of incarceration for the innocent possession of one ounce of marijuana.
Laurie tossed and turned in bed that night. She was very worried about the presence of a man in the house. She had hot flashes and felt restless. What was she going to do? What if he tried to come on to her? What if he raped her? How would she fend him off?
Laurie did not like men very much. She considered them all horrid beasts. They were demons who wouldn't stop at anything.
She probably developed this attitude from the fact that her father abused her when she was a young girl. He would come into her bedroom at night when he was drinking and after he'd slapped her mother around a bit. He would pull down her covers and show her his thing. His thing looked like a hideous prong sticking out from his belly. He would then proceed to attempt to stick it into her little girly hole. She was so small and he was so big it did not fit very well, but he kept trying anyway. He'd grunt and groan for awhile then squirt white stuff all over her belly. It was so gross. It stuck to her covers and made her sheets turn yellow with stains. It looked like snot that came out from blowing your nose when you have a bad cold. (This all came out when she went to a therapist because of her phobia of men; it was interfering with her ability to work as a nurse.)
It could also have come from the fact that a boyfriend took her out when she was a teenager. He didn't say much to her except to call her a "dumb cunt". They went to a movie and then went out for hamburgers at a drive-in. She didn't enjoy his presence at all and couldn't wait to finish the date; she never wanted to see him again. However, against her pleas to take her home, he went driving around out on distant highways. He found a remote dead-end road in the middle of nowhere out in some farm fields. He then jumped on her and attempted to rip her clothes off. She tried to resist by poking her fingers in his eyes, but he pulled out a switchblade and threatened to cut her up if she didn't allow him to have his own way. He proceeded to shove his thing into her. She didn't like that thing at all. It was very painful and humiliating. After he'd shivered a bit and got off her, he threatened that if she told anyone about it, he'd come back and cut her up. He knew a bunch of guys who'd all jump on her if she had him locked up. He didn't take her home. He just dumped her somewhere and she had to walk back.
Nevertheless, she had a more remote memory (that she didn't even consciously remember anymore) of all the fairy tales her momma had read to her at night. There was always some kind of Prince Charming in there, a wonderful gentleman who would rescue the distressed damsel from the wicked adversaries that were out to get her. Like kids growing up believing in Santa Claus, she had this idea that there ought to be a Prince Charming for her, and, if so, where did he wander off to? Laurie felt very cheated by real life.
The next morning, Jake was there in the kitchen drinking coffee and reading the morning paper. He hummed happily to himself. It was so nice to be out of jail at last. Laurie came into the kitchen, repulsed by his presence. She grabbed something to eat and took it furtively with her upstairs. Jake observed this peculiar behavior, a bit perplexed.
Laurie was in tears. Her morning privacy had been invaded! How long was this going to go on! She wanted him out of there! If it were her house, she wouldn't let a moron like that stay there. It was hate at first sight.
Nevertheless the morning went by and unfortunately she was going to have to go through that kitchen past him to prepare her lunch. She swallowed in fear and went to face her dilemma.
Jake just stared at her as she angrily threw stuff together for lunch. Finally he said:
"Hey, baby, what did I ever do to you?"
"Don't talk to me! Just don't ever talk to me!" she hissed at him like a cat defending its territory.
"Now, look, surely we can work something out here. I mean, you live here and I'm staying here for awhile until I can get my act together. My sister was so kind as to allow me to hang out here until I figure out what I'm going to do next.
"So that means we have to share this space together. I know you'd prefer it if I weren't here, but, shit, man, I can't help it. So why don't we just be civil to one another?"
"I don't have to be anything to you!"
"Well, look Ms. Fussy Prissy, why don't you just get off your high horse and realize that you're just a normal person. After all, this isn't your house! If my sister says I can stay here, that's her decision, not yours."
"If this were my house, I wouldn't let scum like you stay around here!"
"Oh, dear, somehow I don't think we're getting off on a good footing."
"Fine with me!" She grabbed her lunch pail and walked out, being sure to give the door a good slam behind her.
Laurie just didn't like men. When Sonja had her boyfriend over, she wasn't very pleased about it, but since Sonja was her landlady, she just kept her resentment to herself (although it was obvious from her body language). She wouldn't say a word to him.
She had some problems at work because of this. She didn't like taking orders from male doctors, seething in anger at their demands. When she took the temperature or blood pressure of a male client, she secretly wanted to kill him. They would always do nasty things like wink at her. One in delirium actually tried to pat her on the butt; she kicked him for that. There was one time she was tempted to disconnect the life support equipment of one gentleman who offered her a big tip for a discreet nighttime fuck. She kept demanding that she be transferred to the women's wards only, but this was not always possible. Because of this, she hated her job.
She did try going to various feminist groups, but somehow they didn't satisfy her. They were too noisy and militant for her. A lot of them were lesbians with short cut hair. She did not like being in groups, being a private person. She preferred to nurse her anger alone.
She considered the idea that she may be a lesbian. But this did not get her off. She did not feel turned on by anyone of any sex. The barest mention of sexuality utterly repulsed her (although her face turned red and there was a tension between her legs she tried to repress like politely holding in a fart in public). She decided she wanted to be celibate all her life and not have anything to do with any partner of any sort.
So the mysterious thing to her was why did she have this strange dream of some Prince Charming? She had the idea that somewhere in the world there was some ideal man who would love, care, and cherish her till death do them part. However, from what she actually sampled from the world of men, this did not seem very likely. They were all bastards, every one of them, and all they wanted was to get laid.
The light was still on in the kitchen when she got back. Oh, no, that meant he was here. She tentatively went in and, sure enough, there he was browsing at a book and holding a beer in his hand. There were a couple of empty cans lying around. Danger signals went off in her mind - alcohol and men did not mix well.
He let a stray eye wander in her direction. "Hello, baby, have a good day at work?"
"I thought I told you I didn't want to talk to you."
"Look, man, I'm not trying to come on to you or be an ogre to you. All I'm asking is how was your day at work. In exchange for a civil question, it'd be nice to get a civil answer, you know."
She sighed. This guy just wasn't going to quit. "Not so great, I suppose."
"Why, what happened?"
"Oh, we had a couple of car wrecks, people with serious cuts, burns, broken bones all over. Two of them had to go into intensive care."
"So you're in the medical business, huh? What do you do there?"
"I'm a nurse."
"So how do you like being a nurse?"
She rolled her eyes. "Oh, it has its moments."
"Makes you feel good when you save someone's life or make them feel better, huh?"
"No, there are times when I wonder if I'm in the right line of work."
With that, she walked off as a way to cut off the conversation. She didn't know why but she was very uncomfortable with this guy.
That night, she tossed and turned restlessly. She kept having dreams of shrieking monsters with huge penises chasing her.
There was a kitchen bulletin board on the refrigerator door. With it you could scrawl temporary messages with a felt tip pen, erasing the previous message. Laurie and Sonja used this as a way to communicate to one another since they were on different shifts. For example, Laurie would write (scrawl would be a better word) things like: "Could you not put food in my section of the kitchen?" "Would you mind leaving the lights on in the porch when I get back?" Usually, there was no name addressed from Laurie and no "Thanks" at the end. The letters were very tiny and furtive like scurrying mice; a handwriting analysis on this would indicate a person with a rather demeaned self-image. Today, when no one was in the kitchen, she wrote:
"How long is Jake going to be here?"
Later on, she noticed a message on the board:
"Laurie - Jake is going to be here at least a few weeks. Sonja."
Inwardly, Laurie screamed and raged and tore her hair out. How was she going to endure this?
She came down for her daily brunch. As usual, Jake was hanging out, just taking his leisurely time reading over the newspaper.
"Hey, Laurie, how goes it? Did you have sweet dreams to get you through the night?"
Laurie didn't say anything. She wasn't about to tell him about those nasty dreams of demons with huge erect penises chasing after her and repeatedly raping her. As far as she was concerned, Jake was one of them.
"Aww, it couldn't have been all as bad as that. Look, man, it's a beautiful day out there! The sun is shining and the mountains are all covered with rising mist. The trees are turning autumnal colors. Man, I really like this season, when it gets all colorful. We should take a ride up the Blue Ridge Parkway sometime. Pack a lunch and spend the whole day driving around, stopping to look at expansive views, taking walks. Wouldn't that be nice?"
"I'm not in the least bit interested in going anywhere with you."
"Shit, man, what did I ever do to you? Say, I know what it is - I did something really bad to you in a past lifetime and now you're trying to get back at me. I was a sultan and you were my slave girl and I always kept you locked up and tortured you all the time, right?"
"I don't believe in reincarnation."
"So what do you believe in?"
"I don't know, I don't give it much thought. I just believe in getting by from day to day and staying away from jerks like you."
Jake whistled. "Whew, you really got it in for me. Say, you don't think maybe they'd hire me at your hospital as an orderly or a clean-up person, do you? I've been looking over the ads and I just can't seem to find anything right for me."
"You're welcome to try but I doubt they'd hire you. Don't be looking for a reference from me."
"Baby, have mercy on me. I'm just a poor innocent straggler just trying to survive. It'd be nice if we supported one another instead of fighting like this. I really don't like fighting. Can't stand the sight of blood.
"Look, I know you don't like me being here, butting in on your privacy and all that, but, you see, I just got out of jail and I don't where to go. My sister was nice to put me up until I can figure out what I'm doing, but it ain't easy for someone in my position."
Laurie was horrified, cringing inwardly. "You were in jail? I thought you were a non-violent person."
"Look, man, I didn't do anything bad - didn't steal no cars, didn't kill nobody, or rape any beautiful women like you. I just happened to be driving along, minding my own business, listening to some Pink Floyd. Thing is, a cop gets it in his head to pull me over just then and there. I just happened to smoke a little weed a while back and the car still had the smell hanging over it. Why that motherfucker just pulls me out and slams me against the car like I had done something really awful. I had an ounce of the stuff and that's what they condemn me for five years of imprisonment for. Five years of having to hang around with real bad ass characters who'd pull knives on me and pull down my pants and rape me any chance they get."
"Hmmph, you probably deserved it."
"C'mon, give me a break! I didn't deserve all that shit! You know, I've never hurt a fly, man! I was just having a pleasant high on something that's less harmful than booze and cigarettes and coffee that are all legal-smegal. The laws are contradictory, don't you see? They just outlawed weed because it's all a witch-hunt."
"I don't have much to say to drug addicts."
"Man, they really got you brainwashed, don't they? Weed ain't all that bad. You should try it sometime - maybe you wouldn't be so goddamned uptight all the time. It'd make you relax and laugh and see how relative it all is."
"You can rest assured I will certainly never try it - especially since dirty old men like you can come along and seduce me while I'm under the influence. You're just an addict and trying to rationalize it."
"Okay, I see we have a stalemate here. But before our time is up here, I'm going to get through to you somehow. I'm not such a bad guy."
"I doubt it."
They parted company gearing themselves up for the next round.
Laurie was so upset that she went back to her female therapist to talk to her about it. She told her the whole story.
Her therapist replied: "So you have the attitude that this man is attempting to seduce you."
"I know he is trying to seduce me. They're all trying to seduce me."
"You're a very attractive woman, Laurie. It's inevitable that men will respond to that. Although many women are pleased by that, you have a phobia of it. We went over some past causes of how you became that way."
"Yeah, we went over and over that, both with you and other therapists. However, just knowing about it doesn't seem to cure it. It's still there. I wish I could get rid of it. I wish I could be normal like other women." Laurie was on the verge of tears.
"Hmmm, that's a big first step, just knowing you want to change. Laurie, do you know about behavior modification?"
"A little."
"Well, we're going to help you overcome your aversion to men, step by step. We'll do a little psychodrama here. I'll pretend to be Jake and what I want you to do is try to be nice to him. Do you think you can do that?"
"I'll try."
"O.K. I'll pretend to be Jake. How's he usually greet you?"
" 'Hi, babe, how's it going?' "
In a low voice, Laurie's therapist says: "Hi, babe, how's it going?"
Laurie tries very hard, but winds up saying: "I'm sorry, but I'm not interested in speaking to you."
"No, we're going to have to try that again. Be really nice to him. Talk to him like you'd talk to a female friend you confide in. 'Hi, babe, how's it going?' "
"Oh, I'm doing okay, I guess. How are you?"
"Great! Do you think you can try that with him in real life? Remember, this does not mean you're being seduced or giving in to his advances. You're just doing it as an experiment, to overcome your general aversion to men."
"Well, okay, I'll try."
Laurie noticed when coming home that Jake would keep discreetly out of sight. He'd be reading in his room or smoking cigarettes on the back porch. He'd nod politely to her if their paths happened to cross.
One interesting thing she noticed is he would wash her dirty dishes as well as his own. He'd put wildflowers in a jar on the kitchen table as if it were an offering. One time he made some spaghetti and had a note for her on the bulletin board that she was welcome to have some if she wanted. Tentatively, she tasted it. It was delicious!
Despite her prejudices, she had to admit he was a rather nice man.
One day, she bumped into him in the kitchen. He greeted her: "Hi, Laurie, how's it going?"
Remembering that she was supposed to try to be nice to him, she replied: "Oh, not so bad, I guess. How's it going with you?"
He grinned widely. "I don't believe it! A civil answer! Are you feeling okay, man? You didn't get a concussion or something, did you?"
Inwardly, she groaned. Why did she have to be nice to him? He was acting so presumptuous! "I don't know, I just feel like being a little nicer. You just happened to be there, so I thought I'd be nicer to you, that's all."
"Did you try any of that food I left out for you?"
"Oh, yes, that was sweet of you to do that. It was quite good."
"I didn't really think you'd try it. I figured you'd think I poisoned it or something. Or even worse, I'd put some dope in it!" He burst out laughing.
"Look, is there some rule that I can't be different once in a while?"
"Well, sure, I don't have any objections to it. You seem to be loosening up a little. I mean, hey, that's great, man!"
"Look, I was just thinking about something. Since you made dinner for me the other night, maybe I should return the favor. How about if I make something for us tomorrow night. Tomorrow's my day off."
"What? I can't believe my ears! Laurie's asking me for a date! Holy shit, hallelujah!"
"Hey, I didn't say we were going for a date! I'm just returning a favor you did for me. I just want to be nicer to you and that's all. Don't start getting any ideas now."
Laurie talked to her therapist about it.
"So how does this feel to you, Laurie?"
"I don't know, I'm kind of scared. I never did anything like that with a man before. For that matter, I don't think I've ever tried to make dinner for anyone."
"Well, don't look at it like you're giving in to him. You're just doing this as an experiment, just to see if you can do it. It's all part of the behavior modification treatment. Bit by bit, you encounter the thing that scares you the most. You're treading unknown territory, Laurie. For example, I've had people who are scared of giving talks to groups. I'd have them just talk to a couple of friends at first. Then I'd do group therapy where they talk to a supportive group. Then they'd try taking a speech-making club. Finally, they'd be ready to do the real thing. You're doing the same kind of thing here."
Laurie swallowed hard. "Well, I'll try."
"You're doing wonderfully, Laurie. Incidentally, I was impressed by the way you took the initiative to invite him to an activity with you. I actually didn't expect you to go that far at your first attempt."
"I was kind of surprised myself. I don't know what came over me."
"Hang in there, Laurie, perhaps you're in for a bit of serendipity."
Laurie was very worried about how she would do this thing. She kept thinking about what she should cook up. She didn't really consider herself a very good cook. She'd never tried to cook a supper for anyone other than herself before. She usually just made very simple stuff - frozen dinners or canned food.
She had a lack of sleep tossing and turning. What was she going to do if he started coming on to her? Would she be polite about it or would she wind up slapping him and shouting at him, thus blowing the whole thing.
In the wee hours of the morning, she finally drifted off into a semi-sleep. She was wandering around in her room in her robe. She could not seem to turn the door handle. The room looked weird to her. The furniture was arranged all wrong and there were things there that weren't ordinarily there.
Uh, oh, she was about to have another one of those nightmares again. She could feel it creeping into her bones. Sure enough, there was one of those monstrous demons leering at her. He had a monstrously erect penis and he was assuredly stroking it, ready for the kill. Oh, God, not again. He started following her around the room. She tried to escape the room, but the doors were all locked. She screamed and pounded the walls as he forcibly grabbed her and attempted to insert himself into her. She spit in his face and scratched at him, calling him a bastard and a motherfucker and every derogatory name she could think of. All her attempts to fend him off only made him more passionate to have his way.
Suddenly she had an inspiration. What if she tried to be nice to him? She could just try it as an experiment. After all, this was a nightmare. She was going to wake up sooner or later anyway, wasn't she? Why not?
"You poor demon," she said. "You must be so frustrated chasing pretty ladies around who don't want anything to do with you!"
He suddenly ceased trying to rape her. He let her go and sat down on her bed. "You're right. I'm so horny and nobody likes me. The only way I can get any satisfaction is to sneak into pretty ladies' rooms and force myself on them. This isn't an easy life."
She sat next to him and put her arm around him. "Look, you don't have to do this anymore. I'll be nice to you. If you like me to, I'll let you have me without a struggle. But if you do this, you have to promise to go away and never bother me again. Do you think you can do that?"
He nodded in resignation. She begin to stroke his penis. It was very wet and slippery. His penis made funny purring sounds like a pet cat. She then guided it into herself. She was feeling all wet and slippery herself. It was a nice feeling. Gee, this wasn't so bad, after all.
With each insertion, the demon changed in appearance. He slowly became transformed into a handsome Prince Charming. It was her Prince Charming coming to rescue her from the demon. When they both came, her Prince Charming smiled and said:
"Ahh, thank you so much, dear, for releasing me from the curse the Wicked Witch laid on me. For centuries, I've been trapped in this horrible form. Now I can be who I really am. It was you, my beloved, who I was destined to be with. Now we can live together, have children, and live happily ever after."
They both wept in joy.
It was then Laurie woke up starting out the window at the first light of dawn. Wow, that was a weird dream. But somehow it felt like more than a dream.
Laurie made hamburgers and instant potatoes and some canned corn. She had some trouble trying to figure out how to cook the hamburgers right; those were a little tricky. She wasn't sure what his tastes would be. She put a new washed tablecloth on the kitchen table and lit up some candles just to make the atmosphere more ambient. She put some classical music on from the little AM-FM radio in the kitchen.
Sonja peeked in and inquired: "Say, what are you doing in here, Laurie? Are you expecting some company?"
"Oh Jake and I were going to have some supper together."
Sonja, surprised, grinned. "Well, y'all have y'rselves a nice time, y'hear? I'll leave you two be."
Jake was a little late. He was carrying something in a small bag. He whistled at the setup. "Wow, you're really hyping things up here, Laurie. You mean you did all this stuff just for big old me?"
"I'm just trying to do something different here, that's all. Don't you ever feel like doing something different. I'm tired of the same old stuff, you know."
Jake whistled. "Well, you sure did do it. Oh, by the way..." he pulled out what was in the bag like a cat bringing a dead mouse home to the Master. "Surprise! I got us a bottle of wine." It was a bottle of cheap Jewish wine from the local Seven-Eleven store.
She winced. "Oh, Jake, you shouldn't have. Besides, where did you get the idea I was going to drink anything with you?"
"Well, this is a special occasion, you know. Laurie turns over a new leaf. It's like being born all over again - approaching the world in a completely different way. Looking at things with innocent baby eyes and all that stuff.
"Besides, I got a little something to celebrate myself. Believe it or not, I got a job! After shuffling my feet all over around this honky little town, I got myself a job."
"Oh, Jake, congratulations! So where did you get a job?"
"At the same place I got this bottle of wine... I get a little discount on the prices, lucky me. I'm working at the Seven-Eleven down the road. Something they call being an 'assistant manager', but I'm really just a lowly cash register puncher. I'm doing it on the second shift, which not too many people want to do, so they didn't care much about where I'm coming from; they wanted to get anyone they could find."
"Hmmm, does it pay very much?"
"Well, not really, unless you consider $6 hour a lot of money. But, anyway, that means I can save up money to get my own place somewhere around here. My sister isn't going to charge me any money to stay here so I can save it faster for a security down-payment. Good news for you, too, baby, that means I'm heading out of here and you'll get your sweet privacy back again."
Laurie's reaction was ambivalent. "That's too bad... I mean, that's great! Well, I think dinner's ready. We should be setting ourselves down to eat now."
She served him his food and kept asking him if everything was okay. They talked to each other about the ups and downs of their respective jobs, about the lousy economy, about the weather, all kinds of small talk people use to keep walls against possible intimacy.
Laurie wasn't sure she wanted him to go. She was beginning to like his company, even though he was a boar sometimes. She was realizing how lonely she was all these months when she had been living like a hermit.
They had wine (not the greatest quality, wino's wine) in little grape jam jars with cartoon pictures on them and some frozen pie on a tinfoil pan fresh from the oven for desert.
Jake belched loudly and imbibed the glass of wine down. "Well, baby, you looking forward to me being out of here?"
"Yeah, I guess so."
"I propose a toast to our future apart. May we live happily in our separate lives!" They clicked their jars together, Jake with gusto, Laurie with her hands trembling.
Laurie then looked at him beseechingly and suddenly burst into tears.
Jake was perplexed. He never could figure out what to do when women got emotional like that.
Helplessly, he asked, "Hey, Laurie, what's wrong, man?"
"I don't know what's wrong with me. It just came over me. I just feel like everything I do is wrong and I'm no good. I'm a really mean person, aren't I?"
"Ah, Laurie, you're not such a bad person. Look, man, I see a lot of potential in you. You just keep it bottled up inside you, that's all."
"Do you really think so? I don't know what's with me. I'm just so lonely!" She broke down into spasms of tears.
Jake crossed to the other side of the table and sat next to her. He put his arm around her reassuringly. She jerked away momentarily and then leaned against him as though begging him to be protecting to her. Would he turn from a lust-frenzied demon into the Prince Charming she was searching for so long?
"Yeah, I know," Jake said. "It happens to the best of us. Don't you think I was lonely sitting inside that damn jail counting bricks to keep myself company? You've been keeping yourself inside a prison of your own making, living all alone, refusing to see anyone, telling everyone to go away.
"Yet this whole time you were secretly wishing someone would care enough about you to break down those walls and get you out of there."
Laurie cried even more, wiping her tears on her greasy napkin. "It's just that I really do want to be with a man. But I'm scared of them. I thought I hated them, but I'm just scared shitless. I'm afraid I'll get hurt bad."
"Laurie, I figured that out the first time I saw you. I can see you got fucked over bad by some guy or the other, and that's what made you the way you are now. But you've got to realize that not all guys are out to fuck you over. I won't. I'll be as gentle to you as you need me to. You can trust me, Laurie, you really can."
Laurie looked at him with disbelief. Maybe this was her Prince Charming coming true in real life. "I can?"
"Sure, man, if you want me to back off, I will. I'm not going to force myself on you. God knows, I've had enough of that shit myself. I know what it's like."
"Jake, do you find me attractive?"
He laughed. "Sure I do! You're the most beautiful woman I've ever laid my eyes on! You don't have anything to worry about in that department."
She made up her mind. "Jake, would you like to go to bed with me?"
"Sure would, let's do it, baby." He escorted her up to her room, half-picking her up with one arm and carrying the bottle of wine with the other hand.
And in bed with Jake, Laurie huffed and puffed and blew herself away as she opened the flower of herself to him. This was different from the other times she had sex, because it was her decision, not the decision of someone else who forced himself on her whether she wanted it or not. This time, she wanted it. Boy, did she want it. It wasn't until now that she realized how much she wanted it.
And Jake was extraordinarily kind and slow with her. He took his time getting to know her in a physical way, slowly exploring her body, backing off slightly if there was tension in her, creeping forward as soon as she gave her assent. He was like a Prince. He was often so slow, she wanted him to hurry up, to rush to the main business. A couple of times, he had a little trouble getting it up and had to overcome it again before they could continue.
And, afterwards, when he was all exhausted and shriveled away, she was eager to have another go at it. Frantically, she did what she could to ignite his fire, throwing whatever kindling she could on it to get it going again.
"Ah, baby, you gotta let me rest for awhile. There'll be time for more. As much as you want in the future."
"Will you stay with me awhile, Jake? You won't go away, will you?"
"What kind of questions are those? Of course, I'll hang around with you, as long as you like."
"Do you want to be with me? Do you think you can love me, Jake?"
"Sure, I can, I want to get to know all the stuff going on in your head. I want to do things with you. And if you feel okay about it, I'll live with you."
"Oh, that would be nice, Jake. I'd like to live with you."
He hugged her. "Baby, I think we're going to be a great match."
Her therapist asked her: "So how did it go with the dinner this past week?"
Laurie was a little embarrassed to admit: "Well, I got laid."
"Well, I certainly didn't expect you to move that fast. I thought it'd take more time than that. Ummm... he didn't force himself on you, did he?"
"No, it was my decision. I invited him."
"And how did you find it?"
"He's a very sweet man. I like him a lot. We're going to try living together for awhile to see how it works out."
"Congratulations, Laurie, I think you've just graduated from the Behavior Modification course with honors!"
They were driving along the Blue Ridge Parkway, Jake doing the driving, on a mutual day off. Jake had some music in the tape deck that was like movie soundtracks for magnanimous scenes in Westerns, perfect for the occasion. Laurie was lying back in her seat, enjoying the views that swung by up on those high peaks. He had his hand on her thigh while he drove. Every now and then they exchanged knowing smiles. It could be said they were in love.
Laurie said: "I saw a cute little apartment in the newspaper that's not too far from where either of us work. The rent is not very high and we could fix it up. I'm real good at decorating a place. It would be nice to get a place of our own, wouldn't it?"
"Well, I tell you what... Let's not rush things too fast. We gotta take our relationship for a test drive, you know. We ought to hang out at Sonja's place for awhile and see how things go between us."
"Well, if you say so, but I'd like us to get a place of our own."
"Let's wait on that, okay?"
"Hmmm, okay."
They stopped to look at a view. There were parking spots for views practically every half mile or so. They kept driving until they were high up in the Black Mountains. There was a turn-off for Mountain Mitchell.
"You want to go up there?" he asked.
"Sure, why not, let's do it!"
These side-trips were more his thing than hers, but she usually went along with it. (She'll have to talk to him about doing some things that interest her like tag sales and dances, but not yet.)
They drove up to the highest peak on the East Coast, Mountain Mitchell. They had to walk a ways to get all the way there to a high tower on the peak. The winds were ferocious up there, although it was pretty calm in the lowlands. It was like being up in an airplane up there; they could see the layout of all the mountains in North Carolina and the lowlands far beyond.
"Isn't this beautiful!" he shouted, excitedly getting into it. They had to shout to be heard above the winds whipping by them."
"It sure is!" she screamed back.
He held her tight and impulsively hugged her. "Laurie, long live our love!"
"Yes," she screamed, "may our love last as long as these ancient mountains!"
To seal their relationship, they hugged tightly for a few minutes, nibbling on each other's lips. A few elderly tourists from Florida snapped a shot of them as well as the ones of the views; this was quite a glorious vista in itself. Oh, to be young and in love again!
Yes, her Prince Charming had come.