PART III. - WAKING UP

Prologue

           Dogstar is trying to wake up. He is far, far away from where he was before. He has found an abandoned hunting cabin near the little town of Warlock. Filled with all kinds of rusty stuff, it is nestled at the base of Warlock Mountain. It is somewhat off the beaten track. Secondary growth surrounds it; it is turning back into the forest from which it emerged. It doesn't look like the original owners have used it in years & could care less about its fate anymore.
           He is focusing on what is essential. He has given up drugs. He has lived through the withdrawal symptoms; it wasn't easy & he had the shakes & kept throwing up a lot the first couple of days.. All he has left is a little bit of pot which he reserves for special occasions. He drinks tea, meditates, & takes long walks & runs for his highs.
           He doesn't have very much to do in this new life. Every day he saws up some wood for the woodstove in the cabin. He melts his daily water from the snow. With hammer & nails, he fixes the holes in the walls where the wintry winds blow through. He has a big bag of rice from which he scoops out his daily meal. There are also some canned goods which he gets from the Warlock General Store.
           He is living off the small amount of money which comes to him monthly from the trust fund his eccentric inventor grandfather left him. He has rented a P.O. box in the General Store to receive his checks. He tells them at the store that he inherited a small fortune & a parcel of land nearby & that he is "roughing it" for awhile. (They wouldn't believe the real story.) Without paying rent, the primary expense of most people's lives, he can live on quite little.
           He is determined to stay right there until he has become genuinely & permanently enlightened. He absolutely will not settle for less.
           Dogstar is on his own personal Vision Quest.

---

Dogstar's Journal

           Dogstar has decided to start keeping a journal, a running record of what he is going through on this unique Journey of the Soul. He scribbles his self-observations, thoughts, & reflections in a cheap spiral notebook he got at the Warlock General Store. He writes on the wobbly rotting table that comes with the place. Rickety tables seem to be a constant feature with him, a metaphor of the shaky legs that hold up his life.
          Here is a typical excerpt of what Dogstar writes in his journal:

          "Well, I'm here. Well, I think I'm here. Well, maybe I'm not altogether here. I'm not really very sure what I'm trying to do here anyway. There's not really very much to do in this place. Except live. But where else do I really have to go anyway?
          "It's actually raining out there, which is strange for this time of the year. Ice is forming on the trees. The streams between the mountains are over-running with water. The rain is pattering steadily on the tin roof of this inner-woods palace. I had a hard time getting the fire going this morning because the wood got so wet. For two whole hours, I spent trying to get a few twigs going, then I had to gradually dry the wood piece by piece until it was going strong.
          "I can see my breath in here as I attempt to write this with frozen fingers. My words scrawl across the thin lines of the paper. I'm not really sure why I'm keeping this journal for. Ain't nobody but me reading it. For posterity, I guess, if there is any.
          "Fuck it, that's all I can think of for today."

Another entry in Dogstar's journal:

           "It seems to have cleared up somewhat today, although for some reason, it has become very cold. The extreme cold days seem to follow the relatively 'warm' days - for some meteorological reason I can't fathom. The freezing rains of yesterday have formed an icy glaze over the tiny windows of this place. The wood was dryer so at least I didn't have as much trouble getting the fire going this morning. I had to use my hand-ax to hack out chunks of ice from the rock-hard stream to get some to melt for the water. Man, this winter is icy hell!"
           "Finding this place was a good thing. I don't think I'm the type who could 'rough it' in the cold in a tent like I was Admiral Byrd exploring the cold wastes of Antarctica. I kind of stumbled on this place last autumn when I was doing an exploration in this neck of the woods. I got lost trying to cut through from one path to a road I was trying to get to, & lo, behold!, I bumped into this place way out in the middle of nowhere. It looks like it was used as a deer hunter's hut; when I first went in here; there were a bunch of copies of 'Field & Stream', some nude girlie cut-outs on the walls, &, of course, empty cans of beer & an empty bottle of Jack Daniels. Anyway, I don't think anyone is going to be interested in using it in this season. It might have been some pioneer's place before it was a hunter's hut - I see evidence of a grown-over field nearby. There are no roads or paths leading here - I have to bush-whack my way in & out of here. It's surrounded by miles of woods, so I don't think anyone will disturb me way out here while I indulge in my 'meditations'.
           "It's not a bad place. It doesn't have electricity, but I'll make do. I kind of miss turning on a stereo & having strobe lights, but I'll live. It's kind of creaky-creepy - there are a few small holes in the walls I had to nail over with tin & shingles. The floor's a bit rotted here & there - gotta watch my step here. There is this fairly comfortable old single bed & mattress in the corner - though a bit moldy, mousy, & stinky. The woodstove is fortunately sturdy enough to be functional, though in real cold weather, I have to huddle up right next to it. There is a shaky chair & this wobbling table for writing & eating on. There are raggedy curtains on two small windows facing the 'front' & the northeast. Through the bare trees, I can see the peak of the Big One over there, so there's even a bit of a view. There's no plumbing - I have to piss & shit in the woods like a bear. The door was wide open & unlocked when I got here & there was a pile of wood, a hand-ax, & a saw next to the woodstove. It's almost as though it were designed especially for someone such as me who wants to hide away from the world & meditate for awhile. Goddess works in mysterious ways, I suppose."

Next entry in Dogstar's journal:

           "It is snowing today. It is snowing in huge flakes & is rapidly adding a foot or two to what is already there. I had to brush a lot of it off the wood while I was collecting it. (I'm going to have to get a polyethylene tarp for my stash real soon.) Water is not too much of a problem; all I have to do is scoop up chunks of snow in my buckets & melt it. Everything has its ups & downs & its ins & outs.
           "This sure is a weird winter. It snows one day, then it rains the next day, then it freezes over the day after that, then it all thaws away the day after that, & you think it's going to be spring at last, but nope, no such luck, there's another ton of snow & sleet the day after. I suppose the big civilization - that grand megalopolis down the river & the East Coast - must be wrecking havoc with the inversion layer or whatever it is, & thus drastically affecting the winter weather patterns, & weather patterns in general. There's been some speculations about a 'Greenhouse Effect', which means the pollution is trapping the solar heat in & warming the earth's climate up a bit - to the extent that the ice caps will melt & the big coastal cities will go underwater. Oh well, no great loss. I can live without New York City, I suppose. The old-timers in the general store in Warlock have been chatting about it (what else do they have to talk about this season, except politics & sports?) & they confess they've never seen anything like it.
           "So, because of the general situation out there, I am confined in here, doing my time in an abandoned cabin in Warlock, feeding logs to the ever-devouring flames. Maybe I ought to use all this spare time I have to write a book or something. I don't have the slightest idea what I would write a book about, though. Maybe I could write a book about my life story. Ha! Who would believe it?
           "I have to admit it's kind of nice to be here. I sure am glad I'm not in that maddening place, 'Cloud 9 Lounge', in Wheatfield, or that bizarre University Town anymore. Man, I was into some really crazy shit down there. It was inevitable that I find a place like this to get away from all that.
           "It was either this or winding up in a loony bin again. This sure beats being in a loony bin, tho. I can do with my time whatever the hell I want to do. There's no nurses here to tell me when I've got to get up or when I'm going to have to drag my ass down to occupational therapy.
           "Well, I think I'm going to get down to the main business I'm here for & start practicing meditation today. I keep saying that, but dammit, I'm going to do it today! I'm going to make myself meditate for a whole fucking hour. That's not too much to ask, is it? After all, in a place like this in the middle of winter, there's nothing much else to do."

Getting down to business:

           "I hope whoever owns this place (if anyone does) doesn't mind me staying here for a little while. I don't think anybody comes around here at all, except for deer hunters in the late fall & teenagers looking for somewhere to party during the warmer months. It's situated not far from Warlock at the base of Warlock Mountain, the north-east side. Warlock's a pretty under-populated little township; I've always wanted to live around here. Since it's so snow-bound in this mysterious deep dark forest, I don't think anyone will disturb me in my levitating meditations for the next couple of months. This is a perfect place to wait out the winter.
           "I sure had a hard time getting off those downers at first. Fortunately, I still had some in a bottle with me when I got here, & steadily tapered off my dose. The first three days of absolute withdrawal were a real drag. To make it worse, I was also kicking a tobacco-nicotine habit which wasn't easy either. I lay in the bed & hallucinated all kinds of weird things. I had to smoke most of my pot to get me thru those crucial days, & now I don't have too much of that left either. I'm keeping what I have left for special occasions, tho I'm beginning to wonder if I may as well smoke it all, because I don't see what kind of 'special occasions' are going to come up in this situation. I'm glad I kicked that stupid downer-habit, tho - any chemical habit is a real hassle - especially when you don't have any more coming.
           "Well, at least I don't have to spend night after night washing dishes in that crummy 'Cloud 9' restaurant. That's got to be the stupidest job I ever worked at in my whole life. I can't believe I spent three years of my life in that place. I'm glad I burned it down. That was my special going-away present. It definitely had it coming to it. That place had bad vibes.
           "Now, all I have to do every day is saw up wood for an hour or two, keep the stove going, & chop up water to melt. O well, you have to pay some sort of price for your physical existence, I suppose. I have to admit it helps keep me grounded, this sheer struggle for warmth & existence. It gives me something to do, helps me keep my perspective, so I don't space out too much.
           "Never-the-less, I sort of wonder what I'm doing here."

More of the same:

           "Another day, more of the same thing. Today it has cleared up & the sky is crystal blue. Just thought I'd let you know that. It's very important to take note of things like that. It's as if to maintain my sanity, I must jot down the daily weather report first thing when I get up.
           A fierce wind is blowing the snow out there into wave-like dunes. If you squint your eyes a little, it is easy to imagine it as white sand in a wintry desert. I stand at the stoop of the front door & look out upon this happening right on my own front yard. (Get a load of how quickly I refer to this as 'mine' - possession is a state of mind.)
           "I have something to admit to any of you who might have discovered this after I am long dead & gone. Frankly, I'm bored. There's nothing to do here. There's no stereo to listen to. I didn't bring any books, so there's no books to read nor is there any reading material to speak of in the Warlock General Store. I've decided not to have any kind of entertainment what-so-ever here to become lost in - I feel I must become my own entertainment. A scary experiment.
           I'm snowed in here & there's nobody to talk to. I don't have any drugs to do. There's no girlfriend to make it with. There's no electric light to keep me awake after dark. Sometimes I take long naps in the afternoon after I've gotten the stove going. I may as well hibernate. I don't have a job to go to. I'm at the mercy of my own mind. I'm becoming a loony hermit who talks to himself (or in this case, who writes to himself) all the time.
           "I've been trying to get into meditation because that's a good thing to do when you're in a situation like this. For an hour every day now, I sit crosslegged on the bed, facing the front so I can see the Big One out the window thru the trees (when the weather permits). I breathe deeply (that is, as deeply as I can with my smoke-shallowed lungs), & I inwardly chant 'OM' with each in-breath & out-breath. I don't know what I do it for, but it seems to quiet my mind somewhat, tho it still continues to make a lot of background noise. I suppose I'll have to try a little harder.
           "Never-the-less, dammit, I'm still bored."

The usual thing:

           "Now it's sleeting. What next? I had to carry in armloads & armloads of wood to keep it from getting buried under the assault of sleet - otherwise I'd have to chop it out the next day. Glaze is forming on the little windows again. I'm keeping a bucket outside & letting it fill up for my daily water. O well, I seem to be surviving one way or the other.
           "You know, it's a real pain-in-the-ass to take a shit in these conditions. I mean literally. Since there's no toilet here, I have to go a few hundred yards into the woods, expose my ass to the freezing wind, sleet, snow, rain, or whatever, bend over & get it all out, wipe a few times with a roll in hand, then kick some snow over it. If I have to take a pee, I don't even bother to go out there, I just piss in a bucket. Maybe I ought to shit that way, but I'm not sure if I could handle the smell in here. If I ever get out of this, I sure am going to appreciate flush toilets again. O well, it's all part of the package of physical existence.
           "It's just the usual thing. I'm bored. I'm bored & I've got nothing to do. I guess I'll just have to live with that boredom, go into it, ride it out somehow. Boredom is part of the price for enduring physical existence. Ho-hum, how boring this is. If you're not bored at least some of the time, how can you appreciate excitment when it comes around? Not only that, it's possible to have so much excitment, you get jaded to it, & you get bored with that, too. So much for my boringly repititious discourse on boredom.
           "I've run out of chili & now I'm working on a tremendous bag of rice. I mix it with some canned stewed tomatoes. It's not so bad. When you have practically nothing, you appreciate those small things in life more. Dinnertime is a big part of my day here. I really get into it - just tasting those stewed tomatoes like they were caviar or something.
           "I'm making an effort to meditate more intensively, but my mind still keeps wandering around a lot. It scurries frantically around like a harried rat trying to escape from its cage. I've increased my meditation sessions to doing it twice a day, one after I've gotten the stove going in the morning, & the other in the evening after my delicious meal of rice & stewed tomatoes. That seems to be a pretty good pace. Gotta keep trying.

Still more:

           "I don't know how much longer I can go on like this. Yesterday, it turned relatively warm & it started thawing, making floods everywhere, making it all squishy & mucky. I nearly ruined my army boots getting them so wet while tramping around for wet wood. Now, today it is super-cold & all that was wet yesterday has frozen over, making solid, extremely slippery ice-sheets all over the surface of the snow.
           "When, O when is this long, gruesome winter ever going to end? I feel tempted to hang all this up & return to the cradle of civilization. It would be nice & warm there, all I'd have to do is turn up the thermostat a little & it'd be warmer, rather than spend hours feeding this damned wood stove. There would be females of my species there & I could get laid. There would be nice warm baths around there; I haven't had one of those in weeks; I'm reeking like a skunk. I could get another drug connection - pop some valiums & feel all smoothed out. All the modern amenities are just waiting for me, if I only would come back. I can hear them singing to me like the Sirens tempting Ulysses & his crew.
           "But, nope, I'm going to have to put the time-honored wax in mine ears & pass these temptations by. I'm the archetypal Buddha sitting under his Bodhi tree - Jesus in the wilderness. Someone has to do it, that's all. I'm the next sucker in the line.
           "I've gotta stay here until I have achieved the necessary focus to see what it's all about for once & for all. If I go back there now, it'll be more of the same craziness, & I certainly don't need that. Yessirree, folks, I, Dogstar, am on the one & only eons- honored Vision Quest. I can't advance beyond this stage until I've had one.
           "I don't have a hell of a lot of money right now. The checks I have been getting from dear old departed Grandpa have been for smaller amounts of monetary credits with which to exchange for basic necessities & meanwhile, inflation makes all that increasingly worthless. There's going to be a super economic depression coming soon. My current funds are dwindling. I ran out of stewed tomatoes yesterday, so today I'm eating plain rice. Maybe I could go down to the grand old Warlock General Store & buy some cheap margarine to put on the rice. Yummy.
           "I don't know, tho, they, the old-timers who hang out there & gossip about who's screwing who in the community, look at me kind of funny whenever I go there. I don't really know how to account for my recent appearance in their town to them. They look at me like I'm demon-possessed or something. Perhaps there's a mad gleam in my eyes. There's some strange religious hippie commune near here, so they probably assume I'm one of those.
           "Meanwhile, my cheapo, no-guarantee, no-money-back Japanese L.E.D. watch stopped right in the middle of a digital pulse a few days ago. I got pissed off at it & tossed it out in the woods. It stopped at precisely 12:00 Midnight, Feb. 23, 1984 I wonder if that means anything in particular. On these Vision Quests, you gotta check everything - can't leave anything to chance, you know. Now, I don't even have the crutch of time anymore. I can't just glance at my wrist-watch & pin-point myself as being at some particular fix of time. It's kind of scary in a way. I'm on my own now. What will I do without my precious time?
           "Well, I've gotta go back to work now. I've gotta get back into what I'm here for. I'm going to do it this time - I'm going to start meditating again. I'm going to levitate my consciousness. Gotta keep that silly monkey-mind from rambling all over the place. Gotta find the Answer somehow. Stay tuned."

More:

           "It is early evening in this rickety habitation where I currently dwell. The snow outside is coming down in buckets after buckets (great drinking water!) (gotta scoop it up in the nick of time!). All the while, the winds howl & howl attempting to break in here. The shack shakes & wobble at the onslaught. I wonder if it will last the night. Perhaps I will wake up in the middle of the night with no roof. Well, if it's survived this long, maybe it'll make it a little longer.
           "Meanwhile, I am writing this by the light of a kerosene lantern I found stored away in a cupboard. The light is flickering peculiar shadows on the walls. If I squint my eyes, I can see monsters & faces. The woodstove is red-hot, filled to the brim. I am having a nice warm cup of tea. Living in this kind of simplicity really makes one appreciate the more usual things in life. How cozy & peaceful this is!
           "Man, I had the weirdest experience today. I was going out for a hike on a clear, but windy day. It was very cold. A lot of clouds were moving across the sky, shooting across from one end to the other like a bunch of Japanese bullet trains. It looked like there was a damned good chance of some snow falling, but somehow I didn't care, I had to get the exercise. I was exploring a rather slippery ice-glazed road behind Warlock Mountain, trying to find out where it might go.
           "As usually happens on these sort of expeditions, I wound up somewhere else. I kept following this road & was really far away from it all. I was wondering whether this road was going to go anywhere at all. It went up over the crest of a high divide between two great big mountains, then there was an abandoned field, from which I could see an unexpected view of some mountains I'd never seen before towards the southeast. It was a good view & I stopped to look at it for awhile, sitting on a rock. This was late in the afternoon.
           "Just then, it decided to snow. It did more than just snow. It was a fucking blizzard. I was way out there in the middle of nowhere. I was in for it. I was probably several miles away from here & that's a long way in the winter on foot. I guess I should have listened to my internal intuitive weatherman which warned me not to go far this day.
           "The snow whirled & whirled around me & I couldn't see a damned thing thru the maze of haze. I hurried back down the road, slipping flat on my ass a good many times. Every now & then, I stopped & listened to the howl of the wind, utterly hypnotized (which they say isn't a good idea; you can freeze to death that way). I was surrounded by a wall of swirling flakes. I stopped, listened, & heard a wailing in the midst of the howling winds, wondering if there was a bunch of chanting Tibetan lamas out there in that neck of the woods. The surrounding whiteness was like the Ultimate Void. I wondered if this was it - time to be One with the White Light.
           "Sometimes, merely a few feet away from me, I could hear the sound of this creature weeping & sobbing, saying: 'Please help me. Please don't run away from me now. Please don't reject me like all the others.' I ignored it, figuring I was having some sort of genuine, authentic auditory hallucination brought on by the extreme shock of what was happening to me. They say that happens just prior to serious mortal danger of freezing in a snow storm. Then, believe this or not, I see this big furry giant with a humanoid face. It keeps beseeching me to try to accept it & understand it. Boy, if that isn't weird, I don't know what it is.
           I was beginning at this stage to feel like I was going under. Somewhere out there, apparently, the sun must have set & departed from the world, because, boy, it was getting mighty dark all of a sudden. I must had taken the wrong turn back there trying to find me way back. The whole series of roads around this woods is like a big labyrinth. Before I knew it, I was somewhere in the middle of the pathless woods, amidst a dense tangle of closely-growing Hemlock trees, waist deep in the snow, sinking in the stuff like icy quicksand.
           I just didn't know where the hell to go. I was seriously beginning to consider the possibility that I might freeze to death out there. My hands & feet were getting numb. I was finding it difficult to move. The terror hit me & I started screaming at the top of my voice, trying to out-shout the voices of the howling banshees of the whirling winds, in some vain hope that someone might hear & rescue me. I begain to feel quite heavy & sleepy. How nice it would be to just lie there & take a very, very long nap.
           "Then, believe this or not, what comes towards me then & there is this archaic- looking light. The light was coming from a medieval lantern which was held aloft by a long-bearded old man wearing a gray cloak & hood. He was carrying a wooden staff & he floated just three inches off the top of the snow. I thought I was having the hallucination of my life. He smiled kind of reassuringly at me & said: 'Don't worry about any of this. Let me help you. I will show you the way home. Just follow me.' He looked familiar from somewhere, though I couldn't quite place where at the time, probably some character I'd encountered in my various occult studies.
           "He walked away, beckoning me to follow him. He seemed to know his way about. I figured what the hell, what do I have to lose. He led me back to the road again. The light from his lantern gave off a strange warmth which helped my frostbite problem. I just followed the light, which he continued to hold high above him the whole way. I was fascinated by the illumination it gave in the midst of the dark swirling snow. Along with him, I found myself floating slightly above the snow, too. I wondered if this was some nice dream I was having & I had really fallen asleep back there & this was the eternal sleep of sweet death. The old man, as tho reading my thoughts, turned to me, smiled weirdly, & said:
           "'Don't worry. This is all quite real. On this level, that is. You'll get there. We will all get there someday.'
           "I had a feeling there was some sort of hidden significance to all this. Anyway, it was not long before he had me safely escorted back to here at last. He departed, saying these enigmatic words:
           "'You will see, this is all a Dream. The day is coming when you will assuredly Wake Up. Just keep trying. Just keep doing what you're doing. Do not get lost in the Illusion again. Keep your eyes fixed upon the Light. I am the bearer of the Light which is always shining from Eternity unto Eternity.'
           "Before I could ask him more, he just vanished into the background of the snow. When he was gone, I found myself right in front of this shack.
           "Now, I am left here, setting this down, trying to figure out what that was all about. I'm just glad to be back here intact in this physical body. That was a close call."

Is any of this real?

           "The sun shines bright reflections off the snowy trees into this shack. How deep lies the snow out there - I can barely walk in it! I suppose I may as well stay inside today & just be glad that I've made it this far.
           "You know, sometimes I think I must be the Main Character in a rather badly- written book. The plot doesn't make any sense & the characters are all quite unbelievable. The Author doesn't have his scenes realistically intertwined with one another & there are quite a few contradictions here. Sometimes the same scene or character is described in a completely different way! He keeps turning the same material over & over as if he were flogging a dead horse that refuses to move the story - some mad attempt to generate a few more words to reach the requisite length for a novel.
           "The book is so badly written that no one the Author sends it to will publish it. There is so much to edit that the publishers don't want anything to do with it. The material is utterly impossible to categorize - it is not science fiction, it is not a mystery novel, it is not an adventure novel, it is not literary in the usual sense of the word, & it is certainly not anything the average reading public would buy or be the least bit interested in. They simply scan the opening words & send it right back in the self-enclosed return envelope with the usual form letter of rejection.
           "Finally the Author tries to raise the money to publish it himself & give it away. Perhaps he makes mass photocopies of it. Or maybe he'll become a computer hacker & try to put it in people's computers. Then he finds that he's stuck with all the copies. He takes to wandering through the bookstores & the owners shake their heads & say they don't want it. He gives it away to friends & relatives, who never get around to reading it & finally throw it out with last year's magazines.
           "Yes, perhaps I am the victim in this awful novel. The novel has neither a happy ending or a sad ending - it just drops off somewhere in the middle of things to leave the reader wondering what the fuck that was all about? Why couldn't I be in a really good novel?
           "If this is so, I will make a plea to the Author to get his act together & do a better revision of all this so it makes some grain of sense. I just make a request that it have a happy ending - that I finally find what the Meaning of this Novel is. I fervently pray to You, O Great Author, that you get this right & help me reach a catharsis that will move the audience & make some small contribution that will change this world for the better.
           "O well, that's my prayer for the day. Now I'll buckle down to business & continue to meditate. May the Author be with me!"*

           *(Note from the Author: "Give me a break, Dogstar. I'm trying!")

And the Wheel continues to turn:

           "It hasn't been a bad day today. The weather in general seems to be getting clearer, altho a bit hazy. The temperature continues to fluctuate wildly, tho - for a few hours, it's relatively warm, almost spring-like, then the next few hours turn freezing cold, then it's warm again, then cooler, & so on. I wonder how long this sort of thing is going to go on until it's spring at last.
           "I re-discovered the caves today. I was exploring up this path not too far from here. It led straight up this ravine going up the mountain. There was a stream underneath the snow there - I could hear the gurgling & bubbling in the interior hollow. I crawled up the ravine. Every now & then, the snow would break loose & I'd get a boot drenched in the water below, & this was nasty, because that boot would get filled with icy water which soon froze to ice which made the foot in that boot very, very cold.
           "Anyway, when I got to the top of the ravine, there was a kind of deer path covered with a lot of deer-tracks which led further up the mountain. Then it dead-ended where there were the caves I found early last autumn. There are several of these caves, all interlinked together. Each looks out over a good view from Warlock Mountain. They go in a circle around the upper part of a steep side of the mountain, facing different directions, mostly north & east. Most of the caves are the size of an average room, tho a few are bigger & go down into the bowels of the earth. There are different layers of rock along their sides - some of the layers have seashells & sandstone. It gives a perspective on the earth's history that all this was under the ocean once upon a time. In a few of them, somebody painted some triangles, mandalas, circles, spirals, & things like that. Some goofball painted a picture of some ancient hominids hunting a mastodon.
           "These caves intrigue me for some reason. I feel now, as I felt early last autumn, a sense of deja vu about them - like I'd been there before or someplace I was supposed to wind up at. I went from cave to cave, exploring each one, looking in to see what was inside, looking out at the view each one has. If it weren't so cold, I could get into living in one of these caves. Maybe I'll move up there, when spring finally comes.
           "I continued to circle about, getting the feel of each of the caves - each one has its own peculiar vibe. There were one or two which had the charred remains of camp fires, some others with bones & discarded beer cans. Seems like there's hardly anywhere you can go on this planet without running into a discarded beer can or two. I bet there's one near the South Pole somewhere.
           "Anyway, when I'd worked my way around the the northeast side, I found myself at this cave where I heard this voice in my head say: 'Here'. One should pay especial heed to such voices when embarking upon such an important Vision Quest as mine, so I decided to stay there for awhile, & see what happens next.
           "The Cave is a larger one. (I capitalize it because I sense a special sacredness about it, because it is the Right Place.) It is the size of a small auditorium. There is a view of the Big One from its 'front porch'. The Big One is only ten miles away from this point as the crow goes, so it is a grand sight. I could see thick sedimentary layers of oceanic depths & signs of violent geological upheavals on its walls. There is a faint smell of bones from the back of there. I spoke aloud & my voice echoed somewhat within. It has good acoustics. It looks like it goes downwards somewhere in the back. I'll have to explore it with a flashlight.
           "I sat down on the floor, clearing out some twigs, & made myself comfortable, facing out at the view of the Big One. The floor was surprisingly dry.
           "I decided to meditate there for awhile & see what results I get. Sitting in the traditional cross-legged position, I proceeded to hum out loud:
           'OMMMMMMMMMMMMM.....' with each out-going breath. I got a lot of reverberating feedback off the walls of the Cave, which soon put me in a weird, spaced- out state. I felt like I was descending backwards thru the ages. There was one point where I felt like I was some kind of antediluvian fish swimming thru the depths of a warm, prehistoric ocean. I don't know how long I wound up staying there, but when sunset came, I figured I better head on back. On my way back down the ravine, I was hearing this beautiful celestial music in my head, unearthly, like thousands of angels humming.
           "I think I've found the Right Place."

It Never Ends:

           "Now I go up to that Cave every day. It has become the thing to do, a regular part of my day-to-day activity, like sawing up some wood & getting the fire going, like gathering snow for water, like taking my daily shit out in the freezing cold. There's just no way around it, that's all. I have to go up to that Cave when the sun has reached a certain part of the sky in the afternoon, after the morning chores are done, & then I must meditate there until the sun sets. It is the only way off the Wheel.
           "I have developed a personal style of meditation. It comes in three parts: I raise my arms stretched outwards, my fingers stretched out also, as if I were worshipping the sun, & I concentrate on the seed-concept: 'ALL'. Then I hold my hands against one another, in front of my heart, as though I were saying a prayer, & I concentrate on the seed-concept: 'ONE'. Finally, I clasp my hands together in my lap, in the traditional meditation posture, & concentrate on the seed-concept: 'WORLD'. With each part, I take a deep breath, & hum: 'OMMMMMMMMMM.......', while focusing on each seed concept. For variation, I hum each 'OM' as a separate note of a three-note melody. I might make a song out of the words, too. I remain seated crosslegged on the floor of the Cave thru all this. I face the Big One.
           "Get it? It comes together as: 'ALL ONE WORLD'. Sometimes I substitute 'WHOLE' for 'WORLD' - it amounts to the same thing really. It intensifies it somewhat to concentrate on each word one at a time. What I am doing here, besides trying to promote my own personal enlightenment, is trying to direct the right vibes which will hopefully have an effect on the state of the world, which it needs badly. Maybe by continually thinking of it as 'ONE' & 'WHOLE' now, that will make it so. It is also an effort to perceive & experience the Unity of All That Is.
           "I feel like I'm getting closer somehow. Sometimes, from out of nowhere, I feel these incredible rushes of happiness & hear more of that awe-inspiring music in my head. Jesus, if I knew anything about music & could write that music down or play it, it'd be a fucking Masterpiece!
           "I wonder where this is all coming from?"

And so on:

           "I made my weekly back-packing trip down to the Warlock General Store today for another batch of supplies, since my food ran out. It was a clear, sunny day & the brilliance of the snow caused me to have purple after-images. It was very slippery with half-melted, half-frozen ice on the paved road. Because of the way the winter's snow has been piled up, it was hard to stay out of the way whenever the occasional pick-up truck went by & I'd wind up getting splashed all over.
           "I spent the last of what I currently have on another huge bag of rice, a few pounds of butter made by a local organic farmer, some tea, a bit of kerosene, & some toilet paper. Well, that's that. When I run out of that, I suppose I'll have to subsist on manna from heaven or eat air like certain yogis are said to do - until the next check arrives, if it does. There's been some sort of inexplicable delay lately; could the mail service be on strike?
           "While I was there, I couldn't help but overhear a rather frantic conversation by some of the old-timers gathered around the wood-stove. It seems that a big war has begun in the Middle East over who gets the oil fields which are an important natural resource to fuel the sort of civilization we now have. It's primarily between the Russians, the Chinese, & the United States. Millions of young men in the country are being drafted & forcibly sent over there. The President of the United States has announced today that use of 'tactical' nuclear weapons is not out of the question. The Russians have threatened to blow up one of our big cities if the United States does that. The United States in turn has threatened to blow up all of Russia, if they do that. Russia has stated that it will blow up all of the United States if they do that. Meanwhile, the inscrutable Chinese are wisely holding back & waiting for the other two super-powers to mutually annihilate one another, which looks likely, so they can move in on whatever's left over. The mad Arabs are threatening to blow up the oil fields with their own 'tactical' weapons, which they purchased from the United States & Russia, unless certain demands are met, such as the entire world immediately converting to Mohammedism. Meanwhile, the President of the United States is threatening to blow up Mecca if this happens, all in the name of 'national security'.
           "I took a glance at the newspapers & it looks pretty bad - huge headlines about it all over the front page. O boy, I guess this is it - the big Armegeddon that's been prophisized for years. I wonder if I'll have a remote chance of surviving the blast from up here. This isn't too close to any really big cities, but the radioactive fall-out will be everywhere.
           "Well, even if I don't survive it, that's okay, too. The human race is absolutely insane & I'm tired of being incarnated as a member of this demented species. I suppose all I can do is stay up here, stay away from all that, eat rice & butter, drink tea, & meditate for all I'm worth. There's no point in getting riled up over what those fools are doing. The idiots are going to destroy the very thing they were fighting to have. I just want to get off this fucking Wheel I'm caught up on - I'm not even going to let the destruction of this planet bring me down. Maybe if I can concentrate hard enough, meditate right, I can direct the right kind of vibes towards it & somehow manage to keep it from happening. It's worth a try anyway."

On & on:

           "Today I did something different for a change of pace. It was a beautiful, sparkling clear day. I went for a hike up to the top of Warlock Mountain. I followed a trail that was gracefully packed-down by some snowmobilers the past weekend - I hate the sound of the things, but they sure make a good trail. The snow was glittering like diamonds that had been reduced to dust. The snow was like multi-colored sequins as it was gently brushed off the limbs of the fir trees by an occasional light wind.
           "It was well worth the climb. I went to the top of the tower. I had to kick snow off the steps & watch out for ice. It was very gusty up there & I had to hang on tight to the railings to keep from getting blown off. I was stoned on a little bit of pot I'd just smoked.
           "I could see all the places I'd ever been since I came up here to this New England country, all the places I used to go on my motorbike when I could still ride it. I could see the Big One as clearly as if I could reach over & touch it. I could see towards Snake's Tongue Mountain & the Green Mountains beyond (where rich people are now skiiing). I could see the Northern Mountains, Crag Hill, the Stone Tower Mountain, all the way southwards to a little mountain near Wheatfield, which, thank God, is forever out of my sight. I could see ranges of some big craggy mountains towards the north-east beyond the Big One. It had been a long time since I'd been somewhere like this. It was very bitter cold, tho, so I didn't stay long.
           "My feet got somewhat heavy & frostbitten on the way back. It gets dark so early this time of the year. My hands, despite the ski gloves I was wearing, slowly turned to ice. It was so cold, I thought I'd never get back.
           "When I got back, I fed the dwindling fire, cooked up some rice & butter, & toasted my toes next to the stove. It took me awhile to unthaw. It is good to have warmth."

The show goes on:

           "I find myself having all kinds of weird sexual desires & fantasies during my meditation sessions - concerning different imaginary people in different imaginary situations. It keeps coming back to me, no matter how much I try to put it down. I have been male in many lifetimes & I have been female in many lifetimes - now, I am able to perceive aspects of both within me. This is just a phase I am going thru. I try to look at it as a passing show. Whenever I get these horny feelings, often right in the middle of intensive meditation, I just relax the muscles in my genitals & let it do its usual thing, without fighting it. Usually, it just drifts away, like everything else in the end.
           "The other night, I drank a bottle of rot-gut high-alcohol-content peach wine I bought down at the Warlock General Store. I inadvertently smoked the very last of the reefer I had during that time. There wasn't really anything else I could do while sitting in here, getting slowly drunk, watching the kerosene lantern flicker, watching the flames devour logs in the woodstove (which is actually better than T.V., if you're in the right mood). As the level of the bottle slowly dropped, I thought a lot about my past & where the hell am I going to go from here. The next day, I had a wicked hangover & realized that not only was the last of my reefer gone, but the last of my money was spent. I have burned more bridges behind me. I can no longer rely on chemical substitutes to get me off - I gotta do it on my own now.
           "It is a bright sunny day, altho chilly. The Big One sparkles in the distance right outside my window. I think I'll go out & saw up some wood for awhile, then go up to the Cave for another round of meditation. I've gotta keep working at it - gotta keep doing it until I get it. You know, I'm actually beginning to enjoy those daily sessions of meditation; I'm finding it a very satisfactory thing to do. I can't wait to get up there!
           "Well, until later."

Jogging towards the Goal:

           "I've started taking up jogging. Now the weather has been getting just warm enough during the day, so that the snow on the asphalt secondary roads around here thaws just enough so that I can do that. It's still frozen in the spots where the shadows of the fir trees cover the road, but I just jog over that anyway, or walk on the snow on the side.
           "I never thought I'd start jogging, of all things. I used to do it sometimes as a teenager, but I haven't done it at all the past ten years (except that horrible stint in basic training where I had no choice). (Or running like hell from the U.S. & the Viet Cong alike.) (How time flies) (On its silver wings). The way my lungs are clogged with all kinds of inhaled, tarry substances, I was surprised to find I could still do it at all. I started off at a slow pace, then as I started getting my second wind, I started running faster & faster, until I felt as tho I were flying above the ground a few inches. It was kind of hard to do with my heavy boots on & the next day, my heels & ankles were so sore, I could hardly stand. Yet I persevered & did it again the next day.
           "I discovered that it is a way of getting high. I think what is happening is that the running causes these endorphins to be secreted in my brain, which is the body's natural opiate reserved for times of extreme pain & stress, which causes a nice mellow sensation. Maybe when I meditate a certain way, this is what happens also - it's like I am gaining control over my body's own hormonal responses. Anyway, the jogging opens up my lungs & I can breath more deeply, absorbing more oxygen which gives me another kind of nourishment. It gives me good exercise, too, & it keeps me warm - I feel perfectly warm wearing nothing but a wool shirt while doing it.
           "The other day, I jogged all the way down to Jethro & back, a round trip of 17 miles. I jogged over hills & dales alike. I really got into it. It gives me a unique sense of freedom to travel like that on my own two feet."

Everything's gonna be okay:

           "I'm starting to get more into the meditation. Now I'm doing it five days a week (I figure I need a 'weekend' off every now & then), from right after the sun has reached its peak until it has nearly sunk. I go up to that Cave & plug away at it. This thing has become an end in itself. Sometimes I start to feel that it is meditating me rather than me meditating it. It is getting hard to tell the difference anymore.
           "I've started refining my technique a bit. When I out-stretch my arms & focus on 'ALL', I visualize infinite rays extending upwards from the rising or setting sun. I imagine myself on a beach worshipping it as it comes or goes. Or I imagine rays coming from a beautiful, multi-colored diamond hanging out there in space.
           "When I move on to the next stage, folding my hands before my heart & focusing on 'ONE', I visualize a shimmering, brilliant blue triangle in the back of my head. Sometimes I can really see it there as if I were looking right at it with my physical eyes. I hear a low hum in the back of my head along with it. I think about the Three-In- One or the One-In-Three or something along that line.
           "Finally, in the third stage, when I am clasping my hands together in my lap & focusing on 'WORLD', I visualize this entire planet like a lovely blue-&-white jewel in this solar system. I imagine one whole world, without strife, without national boundaries, all its various problems solved to the total satisfaction of all involved. I picture it like that right now, not at some vague distant point in the future which may or may not happen. Sometimes I see this blue-white jewel right within the triangle.
           "There are times when I superimpose all three images simultaneously: I see a blue triangle with infinite rays coming from it with the sapphire jewel of this planet within it. I can hear choruses of angels singing that IT IS ALL ONE NOW. It is so beautiful, I hardly know how to describe it.
           "You know what? I really think everything's gonna be okay."

It all amounts to the Same Thing:

           "Today I jogged over to my old spot in the Northern Mountains, the powerline where there's a good view. It's only about seven miles from here, so it didn't take that long to run over there. On my way, some dogs started chasing after me. They chased me for miles. One of them lightly nipped me on the leg, but it wasn't anything serious, I just lost a shred of my pants. Finally they gave up. I found a backroad thru the woods which took me to the powerline opening. I'm beginning to know my way around this area like the back of my hand.
           "I hadn't been at this place in a long time, since last late fall, around the time when it was getting too cold to ride my long- lost motorbike anymore. Now, it's all covered with two feet of snow. The snowmobilers have helped me out a bit here tho, packing it down for me. While I was climbing up to where the view is, trudging under the big powerlines carrying megavolts of electrical energy, I unconsciously felt around in my shirt pocket for a joint, then remembered that I'd smoked up all the pot last week during that rot-gut binge. Kind of ironic in a way. But this time I was sort of high from the run.
           "There is this one view from up there where I could see back where I'd lived for so long, over in the direction of Wheatfield & University Town. Once upon a time, I took a nap here on an Indian summer day. I sat there & did my meditation exercise for awhile. It occurred to me that I sure have covered a lot of ground since last fall.
           "Then I got up & trucked on over to where the other view is - of some mountains north of here. I sat down there in za-zen position & started pondering on a lot of things:
           "Such as, what is the purpose of all this anyway? It's too complicated, convoluted, evoluted, & elaborate to be just an accident. If you don't believe it, try studying biochemistry sometime - it's hard to imagine that all of those billions of remarkably complex chemical reactions could have just hit upon each other by sheer accident to make the harmonious whole called 'life'. Look at the intricacy of the veins of a single leaf. So if it isn't an accident, what did it all come into existence for?
           "As I strolled back, thinking about such deep philosphical matters (& anti- matters), that super-beautiful music started playing in my head again. I stopped thinking & listened to it, carried away by it. It told me that no matter what happens, everything's gonna be okay."

It is All One Now:

           "Well, another day is unfolding right before my wakening eyes. The days in general seem to be getting more or less warmer now. There are more clear days than snowy days. The snow is thawing away by degrees, getting slushier & slushier as a side-effect. By Jove, I do believe spring is at long last coming. It won't be long before the birds will be singing again & the green shoots will be coming up & the flowers will burst & I won't have to keep feeding this damned woodstove all the time just to give this place a modicum of warmth.
           "Meanwhile, I'm running low in the food department. I've got a few pounds left of rice & not much butter. I don't know how long that's going to last. I don't know what I'll do when it runs out. Maybe I'll take up digging around for roots or look for green leafy things to eat. Or I could teach myself about hunting & fishing. But none of that will be very feasible until it's really warm again.
           "I think what I'm going to do to make my supplies hold out a bit longer is try a little fasting every few days or so. They say that fasting is good for the soul & I could stand to lose a little weight, having a slight beer-belly which I accumulated the past winter down there in Sin-City, that fucked-up-to-hell place in Wheatfield. Anyway, it can't hurt & maybe it'll clean out all the various poisons in my drug-abused body. I think I'll fast for three days, starting tomorrow.
           "At the same time, I think I'm going to spend more time at the Cave & get more intensively into my meditation-practices. I think I'll start making a full-time thing out of it - I'll go up there soon after I've awakened & I'll spend all day long there.
           "Also, to save energy, I think I'll lay off writing in this journal for awhile. I'm going to quit talking to myself & quit thinking. Starting right now, I'm going to stop getting into words & get more into the direct experience of what is. Well, here goes nothing..."

IN THE CAVES DEEP IN MEDITATION

The First Day:

           Dogstar is sitting crosslegged on the floor of the Cave. It is a sunny day outside & the snow on the peak of the Big One gleams brightly. Snow is melting very steadily outside the door of the Cave, forming long, skinny icicles as it drips, drips, drips. Sometimes a thin wispy cirrus cloud passes in the blue sky above the Big One, then vanishes in the jet-stream miles above the Earth.
           Dogstar is breathing very deeply, aware of the rumbling in his stomach. He is trying to meditate, but somehow he keeps thinking of delicious things to eat. Along with visions of steak dinners & extra large pizzas with everything on them, he has odd fantasies of pretty young barely pubescent girls performing long sessions of fellatio on him. He keeps having this urge to just give the whole thing up, go to the nearest sizeable town, acquire some money (the root of all evil) somehow, go to a great restaurant, & go out on the town. Never-the-less, he boldly ignores these urges - he keeps breathing deeply & watches these fantasies as they pass by.
           Interminable internal dialogues take place inside his head; he philosophizes about everything under the sun. He analyzes his past, pondering on what he should have said or should have done instead of what he did say or do. He gets pissed off at all the unjust things that have been done to him, imagining ways to get even, to settle the karmic balance. Then it occurs to him that he is supposed to be meditating & tells all these stupid unbidden thoughts & daydreams to go fuck themselves. He stares them down until they get embarrassed & fade away.
           By the end of the day, the rumbling in his stomach has died down a bit. He is just sitting there on the floor of the Cave, doing his three-fold exercise, breathing deeply, chanting: "OMMMMMMM.......", watching his breath go in & out, observing the thoughts & fantasies in his head as though they were cirrus clouds high in the sky fading away into the jet-stream. He's just there now.

The Second Day:

           He is still sitting there, still working at trying to untangle the threads of his karma, trying to un-warp the woof, or out-woof the warp, or what-ever it is. He was a bit unsteady on his feet getting up here this morning & he has to admit he is still hungry. But at least he is trying & that's what counts.
           After the first hour or two, the different thoughts & fantasies which pass thru his head fade out a bit & he's really getting into the meditation, his brain going into a delta- wave state. Over & over, he focuses on: "ALL..." "ONE..." "WORLD...", "ALL..." "ONE..." "WORLD...", "ALL..." "ONE..." "WORLD...".
           He's really getting spaced out on it. It seems as though there is an eternity between each phase of the three-fold exercise. He sees the shining blue-ish/violet triangle before him with rays stretching out infinitely from it with the ineffably lovely turquoise jewel of this unified planet nestled between the three holy points. After awhile, the reality of that triangle supersedes the reality of the Cave he is surrounded by, the Big One out there as usual.
           As he steadily chants: "OMMMMMMM.......", he hears the hum of it reverberating in the back of his head. He rises upwards with the "A", he peaks out at the "U", he floats outwards with the "MMMMMMMM......." He feels as tho he is drifting on the wave-length of a single ray of light traveling on & on forever & ever on its infinite journey thru-out the universe, traveling so far it eventually meets with its starting point again in the vastness of curvaceous space. It is the Original Vibration which gives rise to all other lesser vibrations which are the energy out of which all things of form are created.
           When he has ceased to chant, the humming is still singing in the back of his head. He listens to it for awhile as he watches the sun set. He still hears it as he returns to the cabin. Where-ever he goes, it is always there.

The Third Day:

           He feels like he is planted to his usual spot in the Cave as tho he were growing roots there. He felt waves of dizziness hit him as he climbed up here today, but somehow, surprisingly enough, he no longer feels a bit of hunger. His stomach has shrunk & accepted the fact that it's not going to get fed in the immediate future, so it's waiting out the hard times. At the same time, he feels peculiarly energetic; maybe his body is tapping hidden stored-up reserves. He feels perfectly content to sit right there in that spot on the floor of the Cave. He hardly feels a thing - as tho he'd smoked some very fine opium. He sits at his spot & stares out the Cave at the ever-present Big One.
           During the morning, he does his "ALL ONE WORLD" exercise, then feels too weak to do it anymore, so he chants: "OMMMMMMM......." for awhile, as the sun passes across its zenith above. He does it until he hears that humming in the back of his head.
           Then he tries something different. He just sits there, listening to the hum inside his head, breathing in, holding it (as tho smoking really good reefer), breathing out. Steadily he does this, while staring intently at the tip of the peak of the Big One, not letting his eyes waver for an instant from that point. He sees fringes of the blue triangle super-imposed over it. As he breathes in, the jewel within the triangle shines brighter & brighter as tho it were catching on fire. As he holds his breath, he hears a peculiar 'popping' noise in the back of his head. As he breathes out, he sees waves & waves of blue-hue shining outwards towards him emanating from that peak-point he has his eyes fastened upon. Everything he sees is tinged with blue-hue. Everything he sees becomes dissolved in blue-hue. Even the Big One fades away & there is nothing left on all sides but blue-hue.
           Everytime he holds his breath, the 'popping' noise becomes more distinct, like the bubbling in a stream. It has an echo to it as tho bursting in the rear depths of the Cave. It seems to come from somewhere at the tip-top of his head. It is like a subtle sound in the silence between the breath, in the silence between thoughts, in the silence at the ultimate source where all thoughts emerge from. The blue-hue is all there is. It becomes shimmeringly brighter & brighter. He feels higher & higher. He floats upwards & outwards thru the tip-top-back of his head. Ecstatically, he makes the Break- Thru.......

SAMADHI

           Dog-Star is in Samadhi. Every cell in his body is tingling with sheer bliss. His body breathes in quick, shallow gasps as if he were having a perpetual orgasm. Everything in the phenomenal world outside has disappeared for him. Everything is pure sheer unadulterated energy. The meditator is identical with the object of meditation.
           Dogstar feels a tremendous amount of energy rippling upwards from the base of his spine to the tip-top of his head. He focuses all his soul-energy at the tip-top of his head. It feels as tho there is a fountain of light gushing from there. There are spooky sounds in the Void beyond the boundary of his skull. He cannot feel his physical body at all. It is absolutely still, absolutely motionless. Something tells him that this is the way out. He feels like he is rising, like he is floating slightly above the tip- top of his head. It is like going out thru a secret back door. It was there all along, but he never noticed it until now. Dogstar is rising. There is tingling ultra-violet light everywhere. Everything is made out of this light. Everything is different manifestations of this light. He looks below. There is the tip-top of his head. He is outside the body. The body is sitting very still in the Cave. Not a breath comes from the body's nostrils. D.S. is exhilerated. D.S.* is free. D.S. is no longer bound to the physical world & all its confining rules. D.S. can go anywhere it** wishes.

           * Disembodied Soul

           ** The Disembodied Soul is neither male nor female, so it is neuter.

BYE, BYE, MORTAL BODY!

           D.S. takes one last look at the body it has lived in for so very long. Whew, what a long, involved physical incarnation that one was! How good it is to be free at last! D.S. finds it is no longer subject to the same laws of gravitation that a physical body is. D.S. floats out the door of the Cave. Tho no longer in a physical body & the senses which come with it, D.S. finds that the physical world still appears more or less the same. Maybe it's out of habit of the perceptory apparatus. The only difference is that everything is tinged with hues of blue. D.S. takes a last look at the physical body it was stuck inside for so long. The physical body is rooted right where it was. It's hard to tell whether it's still alive or not. But no matter - D.S. is just glad to be rid of it - sort of like leaving a piece-of-shit lemon car that has broken down one time too many to rust along the side of the highway. D.S. sees the opportunity for sheer freedom & goes for it. It rises upwards into the sky to frolic with the cirrus clouds miles above. There is the Big One below, whitish blue. D.S. is rising. D.S. is miles above. D.S. sees a far more panoramic view of it all than ever before while still in a body. D.S. can see all the way up to Maine, all the way down to New Jersey. D.S. rises even higher to the edge of the Earth's atmosphere, where there is no longer daylight in the sky except below. D.S. is flying like a kite in the farthest reaches of the stratosphere. D.S. goes beyond the last molecules of gas. D.S. observes below the One Whole World. It is such a beautiful blue with spirals of white on the surface. It is the most beautiful planet in the whole solar system. D.S. can barely see the sprawling cities from up here - there are only faint patches of grey-blue at the expected places & a few straight lines here & there. There are no national or state boundaries from up here. D.S. floats around, getting into it. Then D.S. gets curious. If it can get away with going this far, why not go even further beyond?

TAKING A TRIP INTO THE GREAT BEYOND...

D.S. is way out on the edge of the solar system.

It is floating freely, beyond the bounds of gravitation.

It is out beyond the orbit of Pluto, that cold moon-orb on the final outpost...

The gateway to the stars.

The sun is but a small dot, slightly brighter than the other stars...

Barely giving off any kind of heat or light.


D.S.'s Home-World is naught more than a barely-perceptible blue dot.

How cold & lonely it is way out here.

The outer gas giants make a low humming noise...

As slowly they circle around the distant star.

D.S. gazes backwards with poignance & regret.

It must cut the bounds which have held it back up until now.

It must journey on to that which is Beyond.

Like a single ray of Light, it must vibrate on-wards towards Infinity.

It can never go home anymore.

* * * * *

D.S. is in pure Hyper-Space.

The roar of a thousand thunders is all around.

Like a helpless autumn-blown leaf, D.S. is tossed back & forth.

There is no 'up' or 'down' here.

It is all absolutely relative.

D.S. screams in terror, but no sound comes out of its non-existent mouth.

All is drowned in the roar of a thousand thunders.

* * * * *

D.S. is journeying down a long, white circular corridor.

The corridor stretches on & on towards Infinity.

Dimly perceptible at the distant end is a patch of space.

In the center of the space is a single brilliant silver star.

The star is flashing in different colors:

Red, blue, yellow, purple, green, back to silver.

D.S. is drawn irresistably towards that star.

There is a weird throbbing hum inside the corridor.

The throbbing hum vibrates the circular walls.

The star beckons on.

D.S. travels on & on.

But the star never gets closer.

It is always way over there in the distance.

* * * * *

Suddenly D.S. is pulled back.

It will have to continue this journey another time.

There is some unfinished business to take care of.

---

LIFE RE-RUNS

           D.S. has become transformed into Dogstar again. He is in some sort of surrogate body, similar to the one he had before, a male body. There is still sensation from it, but it feels lighter somehow. It has solidity, but it is partially transparent. It seems to be some other level of existence here. Maybe his old physical body has packed it in & he is going into the realms beyond. It's odd - it's beyond the physical world, yet it seems to have many of the same attributes & coordinates as the physical world. It is the level where dreams become instantly transformed into reality (whatever that is). lights up & the movie starts to roll:
           The name of the movie is "DOGSTAR". The subject of the movie is Dogstar's past life. The producer of the movie is Dogstar. The main actor is Dogstar. And now here is Dogstar watching his own movie, the only patron of it. He's the one who made it - now he's the one who has to watch it.
           Dogstar watches "DOGSTAR". He sees the unwilling baby come wailing out of the womb. He sees the child on the beach day-dreaming about what it will become when it grows up. He sees the kid in grade school reading a book on philosophy. He sees the boy-kid & the girl-kid putting their private organs together for the first time. He sees the young teenager getting drunk for the first time, smoking dope for the first time, tripping its brains out for the first time. He sees political aspirations & dreams for a better world. He sees someone put in jail for his non-conformist beliefs. He sees someone bravely talking back to the draft board. He sees a shaved-headed young man running through the obstacle course of a boot-camp. He sees someone shit-faced on a furlough in a topless bar. He sees someone flying across the Pacific Ocean to a strange distant land. He sees people with yellow skins & slanted eyes being mercilessly gunned down. He hears someone yelling: "FIRE! FIRE! FIRE!", & he sees someone pulling a trigger on a flame-thrower. He sees a body going up in flames. He hears people cheering with exultation that the order-giver is dead. He sees them being gunned down by the people with yellow skin & slanted eyes. He sees someone rejected by his own species crawling along through rice-paddies, hoping he will not be seen. He sees man-eating tigers, huge jungle leaves, high mountains in the distance. Someone is dying on a mountainside. He sees Llang Llong again, stating: "Nothing is what it seems to be." Someone is sitting at the feet of the Master. Someone is meditating, seeking for a way out, staring for hours at a spot on the wall. The Master is telling him the Secrets of the Universe. The main character of the movie is seeing mountains as not-quite- mountains anymore. He sees someone saying to him: "And now you must go back to experience what's there. We cannot remain in our ivory towers of enlightenment forever, you know. We must re-pay our debt to our existence." He sees someone wandering bewildered through the streets of Saigon, un-comprehending of all the frantic hub-bub that is going on. There is someone in a white suit pacing up & down the whitewashed rooms, while a madman shrieks in ecstasy under the fiery wire: "Nothing you can do can hurt Me! Nothing you can do can affect Me! I am Electricity Itself! I am Everything & Nothing!" He sees someone released on the streets, wondering what to do, wondering where to go. There is someone throwing up over the balconies of a college dormitory, sitting bored stiff through a Philosophy of Religion course, scribbling notes in his notebook: "What am I doing here? What is the purpose of my existence?" He is riding in a boxcar with some bums across the countryside. The bums are drinking rot-gut puke-wine & arguing about the existence of God. This is such a long, long movie; it seems to be going on for hours & hours, for days & days, for years & years, for eternities & eternities. There are a lot of re-runs, recapitulations, juxta- positions. There's someone wandering into a strange New England town on a motorbike. His name is "DOGSTAR", the main character of this movie. He sees Dogstar washing dishes in the back-room of 'Cloud 9 Lounge'. He sees someone getting drunk in a cottage, popping pills & smoking dope, listening to Pink Floyd & Eno on headphones by candlelight. A topless waitress is groaning & gasping & moaning as he fingers her, as he licks her clit, as he pushes his tongue way up inside her. There are dozens & dozens of close-ups of her cunt, of the pained-pleasure look on her face. It has become one long interminable pornographic X-rated blue movie with no screen-breaks at all. Meanwhile, there is a guy standing in a fire tower, watching the sun set behind blue, blue mountains. He chants an invocation to the parting of the sun, towards the coming of the night. The hills are colorful with golden-red as the dude rides up a long steep slope on his little motor-bike. It seems as though he has been riding up that same hill for years. Somebody is cruising through the bars, selling pills & potions to the highest bidder. He is both the seducer & the seduced. He plays the game to the utmost; he tries things unheard of. He is wading ankle-deep through the snow. Meanwhile, a truck comes roaring around the corner & deals his beloved motorbike the final blow - the shards & fragments crunch & crumple like an old beer can getting stomped on - the whole cookie is crumbling - the scene is crashing. He is walking through the streets trying to lose the ones who are following him. There is no escape anywhere. The topless waitress moans & groans & gasps. He fills the needle with the strange pacifying potion & injects it into his main vein. He lays back in bliss as he rips a thousand dollars off the dresser. He moans & gasps & groans as he comes, the silver spurts shooting high into the sky. She scratches his back; she inserts sticky fingers into the crack of his ass. Meanwhile, he is sitting by the shores of a huge clear lake, watching the gentle waters lap against the rocky shore. He is smashing all the mirrors in Cloud 9 Lounge. Then there is a close-up of the all-devouring cunt as the blue veins of an engorged reproductive organ go into it & out of it. He pawns diamonds to a suspicious jeweler. Everywhere he goes, the three Japanese are following him. Laughing his head off, he pours vodka all over the floor everywhere & sets fire to it. He roars with boisterous glee as he smashes every dish in the place. There is a scene of someone lying comatose on a single bed, a puddle of blue bile on the cigarette-stained floor beside it. There are night-mares, infinite tunnels everywhere. She shudders & comes. She holds him tight & tells him she loves him. Beware of the all-devouring cunt - it'll take you back every- time. Meanwhile, he is washing piles & piles of dishes - there is no end in sight. All is covered all around with ice frozen on top of more ice. He is wandering along some railroad tracks, leaving it all behind. Some bums drinking rot-gut puke-wine in a moving boxcar are arguing about the existence or non-existence of God. There is someone sitting in an abadoned cabin writing in a journal. He is renouncing the whole world - he is determined to make it this time. He is fasting, he is meditating, he is learning how to get high without drugs. He is running up & down hills. Someone is sitting high in an unknown Cave, breathing very deeply, trying to get off the Damned Wheel. There is a big mountain over there in the distance. He sees the Door wide open in the tip- top of his head. He slips thru & escapes. There is a body sitting in suspended animation on the floor of the Cave, eyes wide open, not moving, not the slightest hint of breath. All boundaries dissolve...
           But this is not the end of it. The movie "DOGSTAR" loops around back to the beginning & starts all over again. An unwilling babe comes wailing out of its mother's womb as the partiers cheer him on. A child is sitting on the beach wondering what it is going to be when it grows up. A kid in grade school is pondering over a college textbook on philosophy. A boy-kid & a girl-kid figure out how it all comes together, what binds us here again & again. A young teenager is out behind the junior high school sneaking his first joint between classes. He is tripping his brains out watching the sunrise. He dreams of a better world, then gets drafted. The whole thing is happening all over again in endless loops & re-runs & cycles. There is no end to it all. God, do we really have to do this all over again? Again? Again!?

IN THE TRIBUNAL OF THE SOUL

           The film called "DOGSTAR" comes to an abrupt halt. The theater lights snap on. Standing up on the stage is the Devil. Next to him is his faithful assistant & side-kick, Pan. The Devil has three eyes, the third eye in the center of the forehead, an old goat's head, a human upper torso, & hairy haunches with cloven feet. Pan has a similar lower torso, a human upper torso, a human face with glittering amused eyes, little horns coming out of his furry head, & cute pointy ears. The Devil has a very somber expression on his face. Pan keeps snickering & sniggering.
           The Devil speaks: "Well, O Disembodied Soul, what do you think of this lifetime which has just transpired. Give us your honest opinion."
           Pan giggles.
           Dogstar replies: "Well, I don't know. None of it makes very much sense to me. It hits me as a rather poorly done low-grade comedy with a nebulous nonsensical & confusing plot. The director & creator of this nefarious & asinine garbage obviously didn't have his shit together. It appears as if he must have been half-drunk, constantly stoned, or sleep-walking while making it."
           Pan: "Ha. Ha. Ha."
           The Devil: "Can you point out any redeeming features at all in this life you have just lived?"
           Dogstar (defensively): "Well, I tried, didn't I? At least, I was trying at the end."
           The Devil: "Yes, but it was too late by then. You waited too long. Besides, you didn't try hard enough. Your 'trying' was like a token effort, small worthless change in the bum's plate."
           Pan: "Otherwise you wouldn't even be here, you stupid schuck. Ha. Ha. Ha."
           The Devil: "You were a druggie."
           Pan: "You corrupted the morals of youths."
           The Devil: "You lied & you stole."
           Pan: "You'd do anything to save your own pitiful skin."
           The Devil: "You murdered another human being."
           Pan: "You compromised your own ideals, & that is the most unforgivable one."
           The Devil: "Well, do you dare deny the charges?"
           Dogstar (resignedly): "Well, I suppose you people know what you're doing. But what was that about murder? I didn't kill anybody. When I was in that war, I did my best to fire over innocent people's heads."
           The Devil: "Yes, you did. I will refresh your memory: You killed Lt. Jim Jones, a good man in his own way, bravely fighting for his country & democracy & white supremacy. Now, that wasn't a very nice thing to do."
           Dogstar: "Well, look, I didn't really mean to do that. He just, you know, got in the line of fire. I was just following his orders."
           Pan (shrieking with derision): "Liar! Liar! See how the pipsqueak lies to save his own skin!"
           Dogstar: "Now look, I was killing him so he wouldn't continue to kill others. He was an asshole, man. He was going around gunning down defenseless women & children. It was really the only reasonable thing I could do under the circumstances."
           Pan: "Liar! Liar! See how he lies!"
           The Devil (to Pan): "O, shut up, you." (Back to Dogstar): "That may very well be true, Dogstar, but that still doesn't excuse you from your own actions. Don't you remember how earlier on you told the draft board you were a pacifist. Pacifists don't kill people. Therefore, you not only compromised your own ideals, you are also a liar."
           Pan: "See, I told you so."
           The Devil: "Not only were you a liar, you were a rascally wastrel. You did virtually nothing with your life but ingest drugs. You continuously fornicated like an animal. You did things that not even animals do. Do you deny the charges?"
           Dogstar: "Yeah, all right, so I got a little fucked-up every now & then, so I played around a bit. I couldn't help it; it was the kind of world I was in. You see, down there, you're equipped with a body which has these certain over-whelming urges you've got to gratify. Things are so bad down there, you have to get stoned-out at least some of the time or you'd never be able to stand it."
           The Devil: "Yes, that is certainly true, but you were doing it ALL the time. You wasted your limited mortal life away, Dogstar."
           Pan: "Ha! Ha! Ha! Look at the little worm squirm!"
           The Devil: "Now, you could have been somebody entirely different. You might have stayed in school & gone on to become something like an inventive scientist or a perceptive psychologist who would have contributed something to the world. You might have become a good philosopher or mystic, helping to enlighten people. But instead, you wasted your life away on sex, drugs, & rock & roll. You blew it, Dogstar."
           Pan (eagerly jumping up & down): "Watch the little worm squrim!"
           Dogstar: "Well, look, you have to admit I was trying there close to the end. Like, I was meditating, I was fasting, I was trying to get my head clear; I was giving it all up, see? I even attained Samadhi as I was going out."
           The Devil: "ANYBODY can attain Samadhi, Dogstar. It's not that terribly difficult with the right techniques, & you don't even have to be a very virtuous person. But not too many can see the Light, then remain behind, & help others see the Light also. What you were doing there was a cop-out. You're nothing but a little worm trying to wiggle out of your duties to your existence."
           Pan (gleefully): "See the little worm squrim!"
           The Devil: "Now, Dogstar, the final question in this Trial, in which no-one judges you but your Higher Self, is:
           "Is there anything you did at all during your brief lifetime to make the world a better place, rather than always seeking to gratify selfish desires?"
           Dogstar: "Well... No, not really."
           Pan: "What a selfish squirming little worm!"
           The Devil: "Thus, is there any reason at all that you should not be condemned to burn summarily in Hell for subjective eternities upon eternities?"
           Pan (shreiking): "Burn! Burn! You little squirming worm!"
           Dogstar: "Well, it seems way out of proportion to what I actually did, but I suppose not."
           The Devil: "Then, in that case, I will sentence you, Disembodied Soul, to burn & burn in the Eternal Fire, until all that is your personality is burned to ashes."
           Pan (eagerly dancing around both of them in circles): "Burn, baby, burn!"

DOGSTAR GOES TO HELL

           Dogstar is being led in handcuffs down a long, long corridor going down, down, down into the bowels of the Earth. Two demons are sadistically goading him on with spears. They enjoy their work a lot. Closer & closer he approaches: he can hear the roar of the Eternal Fires crackling & popping. It is getting hotter & hotter. The walls are red-hot down here, nearly at the melting point of becoming lava.
           "You gonna fry yo' ever-loving ass down there, boy," says one of the demons.
           "Yessirree, you gonna burn & you gonna burn & you gonna burn & burn, until there ain't no more of you to burn no more," says the other demon, prodding his rear end with the tip of the spear, drawing a bit of blood.
           There doesn't seem to be much point in replying or begging for mercy under the circumstances. They push him on to the edge of the precipice which is the shore of the Great Lake of Fire, & they give him the final prod to go over.
           "Well, bad luck, boy," says one of the demons.
           "Yeah, there ain't no mama what's gonna get you out of da jam which you's heading into," says the other.
           Laughing, they return up the corridor to collect some more Damned Souls, of which there are plenty to choose from.
           O, how hot & stifling are the lapping Flames! The pain is utterly unbearable, yet the Damned Soul somehow retains some sort of consciousness. In spite of himself, he shreiks & shreiks, along with the shreiking of billions of other Damned Souls. The collective shreiking & the roaring flames all thunder together like the sound of a Great Ocean of Pain. There is absolutely no hope; it goes on & on & on.
           Then a Voice speaks within him: "Know Thou, O Damned Soul, O Disembodied One, all this is but a Creation of Thy Very Own Mind. Watch & observe carefully."
           The Fire burns him & burns him until he becomes One with the Fire. Since he is the Fire, it can no longer hurt him. All the impurities of the outer false personality are burned away. Only the Essence is left.
           D.S. (Distilled Essence) rises above the Eternal Fires of Purification as a fine, ethereal mist to the Heavens above & beyond.

DISTILLED ESSENCE IN HYPER-SPACE

D.S. is back where it was, shooting through the vast expanses of Hyper-Space.

D.S. is way beyond the Home Stellar System -

Its home-star is just another pin-point of light among the constellations.

D.S. is steadlily streaming along through inter-stellar spaces...

Towards a certain very bright star...

It is just left of the belt of Orion becoming increasingly unfamiliar-looking.

It is calling to D.S.

* * * * *

D.S. is now in another stellar system.

D.S. is 8.7 light-years from the home stellar system which has spawned it.

This stellar system has three stars:

There is one intensely brilliant blue-ish-white one in the center.

A small reddish-orange one orbits it.

A medium-sized yellow one orbits the other two.

The center star has 11 planets, the red star has 3 planets...

The yellow star has 5 planets.

The fifth planet from the center-star looks rather interesting.

It is a light-purple color.

It appears to have oceans & continents.

D.S. is somehow drawn to it as if by magnetic attraction.


It all seems so familiar.

---

DOGSTAR DROPS IN ON HEAVEN

           D.S. has a sense as if coming back to a long-lost Paradise.
           When D.S. lands on the surface of the purplish-colored planet (the sky there is purple rather than blue), it is greeted by a tall, graceful Being which wears a shimmering silver cloak & has silver wings.
           "Welcome to Heaven, O Disembodied Spirit," the graceful Being benignly greets it. "You are now free to rest from your mortal sojourn. At last, you can reap your well-deserved rewards."
           "I don't understand," says D.S. "What did I do to deserve this?"
           "You did what you could, D.S., under what we would consider the most difficult of conditions. We consider the world where you came from to be the uttermost Hell. Your world is the Pit of the Universe, compared to most other inhabited worlds. We, as Highly Exalted as we are, could hardly have done better than you did. At least, you did try to be a good person, which can't be said about a lot of others. So, relax, D.S., enjoy, enjoy."
           D.S. is taken to the Central Processing Station where he is given his previous body in the prime of life & the best of health. He is given his previous name. He is all back together again in one piece. Options are a beautiful pair of silver wings & an incredible multi-channel harp with astounding celestial sounds, but Dogstar declines. Getting off the Earth is good enough.
           Dogstar wanders through-out Heaven, checking it all out. He sees former business executives, U.S. presidents, Grand-Masons, college professors, born-again church leaders, Muslim fanatics, movie stars, all the various virtuous & upright people of society basking in the Glory of Heaven. You can have anything you want here - all you have to do is wish for it & it's yours. The only catch is, is it has to be approved by the Higher Authorities, so it tends to be a bit bland. It all seems too easy somehow. The only thing you are really required to do in return is attend choir practice every now & then (be sure to be on time or you might get docked from Heaven a few days) & sing praises & benedictions to the Supreme Benefactor (be sure to stay in tune & act like you love it, or you may get docked from Heaven for awhile). Something somehow didn't seem right about it all.
           In the midst of another one of the endless mandatory choir practices, a Voice speaks within him: "Know Thou, O Disincarnated One, that this, too, is but a Creation of Thy Very Own Mind. Observe dispassionately & be not led astray from the True Way."

THE EVOLUTIONARY ARCANA

And then the essence of the entity of what was once 'Dogstar', becoming the ultimate Distilled Essence of All Essence, plunges backwards, as if through a long, long movie winding back at a hyperlative zip, far backwards in time to the ultimate beginning of time:

In the beginingless beginning, there is nothing, nothing at all.

There is neither light nor darkness.

There is neither sound nor silence.

There is neither form nor non-form.

There is neither emptiness nor fullness.

There is neither space nor non-space.

There is neither consciousness nor non-consciousness.

For an eternity backwards, it has been like this.

All is nothing.

There is no one here.

There is no experiencer.

* * * * *

Then...

In the midst of this original boundless nothingness...

"Something" stirs...

"Some-thing"...

Wants to be...

More than mere nothingness.

It does not know what it wants to be...

But it wants to be...

Something.

This is the Original Desire which sustains the subsequent Universe.

Now...

How can something come out of nothing?

Simply because the something is identical to the nothing.

The nothingness is somethingness.

The something has been latent in the nothing all along.

The only difference between the something & the nothing is that the something is a faint flicker of unconscious consciousness, while the nothing is non-consciousness.

The something identifies itself as something.

The nothing identifies itself as nothing.

This first stirring, this first flicker of the faintest of unconscious consciousness is the first wee beginning of the Mind of the Universe.


D.S. merges right into it, that divine spark in the emptiness of the Void.

* * * * *

The Consciousness of D.S. is transformable into energy.

The first wee flicker of unconscious consciousness gives rise...

To the first wee flicker of energy.

Where there is consciousness (mind), there is energy.

Just as somethingness & nothingness are one & the same...

So it is with consciousness & energy.

The Energy that is D.S. is a force.


The first flicker of unconscious consciousness gives rise...

To the first flicker of energy which is the first force.

Originally, there is only one force.

In the center of the centerless Universe...

The one force which is also unconscious consciousness arises.

Once the D.S. force has arisen, it tends & desires to expand.

This is the nature of force.

From the single very-finite point...

Where the first force manifests from the first wee flicker...

Of unconscious consciousness...

D.S. expands.

At this single very-finite point...

Where the expansion takes place...

There is a "hole" in the "fabric" between something & nothing.

From this single "hole", infinite nothingness (terrifying in its implications)...

Is being transformed into infinite somethingness (ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh)...

Like an eternal flame sparked into combustion...

The Original Force of D.S. expands forever & ever outwards...

Manifesting into infinite somethingness, its source being infinite nothingness.

D.S. is vibration.

The original force which is vibration is the HUM...

The HUM permeates & sustains all the subsequent Universe which arises from it.

D.S. HUMMMMMMMMMMMS the Universe into existence.

This first point from which the original force arises is the eternal "OM-POINT".

The "OM-POINT" is the Source of all created energy...

Which subsequently manifests as matter.

It is expanding from within to without even now.

* * * * *

The One Original D.S. spreads & permeates...

Throughout the boundaries of infinite space.

It is reproducing Itself infinitely.

The One Force is scattered into zillions & zillions of copies of Itself.

It is in the nature of the Force to reproduce Itself.

Since D.S. is consciousness (mind)...

That means there are also zillions & zillions of individual consciousnesses (minds).

Thus, the Singular becomes Plural.

D.S. feels like some kind of Cosmic Silly Putty...

Being stretched in every direction...

Breaking off into multiple fragments.

The consciousnesses are very weak at this point...

Hardly conscious at all, practically unconscious.

At a certain immeasurable distance from the original "OM-POINT"...

D.S. has branched off into zillions & zillions of haywire directions.

* * * * *

Somewhere along the line, D.S. goes through a change.

The consciousness (mind) of D.S. "decides" that merely one force is not enough.

It is "bored" with there being only one of its kind.

It "wants" an "other".

It "wants" to interact with an "other".

This very desire instantaneously creates the "other".

All copies of D.S. split apart into two.

Now there is a second force.

For each of the zillions & zillions of copies of the first force...

There is a corresponding second force.

The second force is the opposite of the first force.

It must be emphasized at this point that the second force is identical to D.S.

It only has arisen as a result of the first force's desire for an "other".

The second force is the reflection of the first force.

The second force is the opposite of the first force.

Because of this, they are attracted to one another.

They revolve around one another.

Or one revolves around the other.

At this point, neither force is complete without its opposite.

Neither force can be "self-sufficient" without its opposite.

Thus is the birth of Duality.

D.S. is now eternally a split personality.

* * * * *

The first two forces automatically give rise to a third force.

The third force is the result of the interaction of the two opposite forces.

The third force is needed to determine the interaction of the first two forces.

The third force is a rudimentary "mind".

The third force is the catalyst which inter-mediates the first two.

Without the third force...

The first force & second force could never coordinate with one another.

It would be like an organism without a nervous system.

The third force gives the other two something in common.

The third force is neutral.

It is neither attracted to nor repelled from either of the other two.

The three forces together are the original Trinity, without which...

This Universe & all its manifold phenomena could never have become.

The three forces complete one another.

The first force is POSITIVE.

The second force is NEGATIVE.

The third force is NEUTRAL.

The third force is also the CATALYST.

Different combinations of the three forces give rise...

To different manifestations called "phenomena".

It is the basis of Chemistry:

Each separate combination of the three forces in varying proportions to one another comprises an "atom".

Different atoms have different properties according to what combination & proportion of the three forces they are composed of.

What was once D.S. is now atomic & chemical combinations...

Ever-mutating...

Though their Essence is One.

* * * * *

D.S. is an atom:

Simple & elementary.

It has only one unit of the first force, one unit of the second force...

& one unit of the third force.

All stable atoms have this basic one:one:one ratio of the three forces.

If they do not, they must correct this imbalance.

The atom is "lonely" because it is alone.

It "fears" the surrounding emptiness.

It is "something" & it "fears" the "nothingness" which surrounds it.

Its worst terror is it will be dissolved into "nothingness".

For this reason, it prefers to be companions with other atoms.

They build up a "barrier" between themselves & the surrounding infinite space.

This kind of "protection" gives them "security" from being dissolved into "nothingness".

The atoms tend to form where there are other atoms.

Like attracts like.

Bunches of atoms become a new identity.

This is a Basic Pattern of the Universe...

A Habit hard to break.

At the very beginning of this particular universe...

All the atoms come into formation...

And they are irresistably drawn back to the "OM-POINT"...

Where it is all happening.

Zillions & zillions of atoms conglomerate at this one spot.

They pack together as tightly as they possibly can.

They pack together because it gives them a "feeling" of "security".

This packing-together creates a tremendous amount of energy...

It is an energy which cannot possibly be contained in such a small space.

All the zillions & zillions of atoms squeeeeeze together.

A Great HUMMING arises from all the energy...

Packed infinitely so tightly at this "OM-POINT"

. It finally becomes too much & there is a Great EXPLOSION!

All the zillions & zillions of atoms...

Comprised of zillions & zillions of the three forces explode "outwards"...

Into the infinity of the surrounding space.

This is the BIG BANG which gave birth to it all.

This is also the ORIGINAL ORGASM.

D.S. shoots off with a Cosmic Gasp.

* * * * *

On one level, this all happens in a split-second.

On another level, this is all taking billions of earth-years to happen.

Beyond time, D.S. really can't tell the difference.

After the original BIG BANG, immeasurable distances from the originating "OM-POINT" (which is still exploding ever-outwards even now), huge pockets of the thrown-out atoms gather here & there.

These huge pockets of atoms conglomerate for the purpose of keeping one another company as a "protection" against the vast surrounding nothingness.

These huge pockets of atoms become galaxies.

D.S. is transmuted into a galaxy.

As a whole mass identity, it has a certain consciousness which holds it together.

D.S. is conscious of its immensity.

How huge & weighty is D.S., once a mere atom.

How tremendously full of matter & energy it is.

How many the worlds it contains.

Yet it is but one huge entity all alone in space being forever hurled outwards.

It must be its own company in the vastness of space.

Within, it is the womb to countless suns & worlds...

Some which will spawn life.

Like an immense tumbleweed, it rolls head over heels outwards...

Across the great deserts of nothingness.

* * * * *

None of what is being described here is actually happening.

It is all a Vast Divine Dream of D.S.

D.S. is barely conscious at this stage...

The manifestation of the Universe & all its manifold forms...

Are by-products of Its Waking Up from a Sleep of Eternities...

Toys for the Divine Child to play around with.

D.S. is one & the same as All That Is.

D.S. is identified with Its own Creation.

D.S. becomes lost in Its own Dream.

D.S. Dreams on.

D.S. makes this Universe up as it goes along.

* * * * *

Meanwhile, within the galaxies, form stars.

D.S. is a star.

Stars are huge packing-togethers of atoms.

Scattered in the immensity of space, the atoms are "lonely"...

It is their nature to pack closely together.

All the atoms in an immense region of space within the galaxy are drawn...

Towards the packing-together which will become the star.

D.S. is the big event which results from the packing-together.

After awhile, there are so many atoms in the star...

& they are packed together so tightly...

The atoms make a HUMMING.

This HUMMING is a microcosm of the HUMMING macrocosm of the...

BIG BANG.

The Pattern tends to be reflected in the patterns within it.

The atoms in the D.S.-conglomerate HUM...

& release the energy which they are composed of.

Thus, D.S. shines!

It gives off light & heat.

It is comforted by its own light & heat.

The light & heat is better than the darkness & coldness that was before.

The light & heat is "good".

The darkness & coldness is "bad".

This is another manifestation of the "Law" or Pattern of Duality.

D.S. is having a great time making light, heat, & other forms of the energy.

D.S. is aware of itself as a huge globular beacon of light & heat.

D.S. is bursting with seemingly inexhaustible supplies of energetic output.

D.S. is a Being of Energy.

D.S. is the initiator of all subsequent energy in its particular region of space.

How wondrous is its light!

* * * * *

Surrounding the star, form planets.

D.S. tries being a planet.

Planets are lesser packing-togethers of atoms...

Surrounding the larger packing-togethers which are stars.

The star is a bit too much for D.S.

D.S. would rather worship the star from afar.

There are not enough atoms in these planetary packing-togethers for D.S....

To shine & generate its own energy.

All its energy comes from the star.

The star is that in which D.S. lives & moves & has its being.

D.S. would be quite lost without the stars.

It would not know what to do or where to go.

The stars give D.S. & its fellows something to revolve around.

It is the nature of planets to spin & revolve around the star.

There are many different kinds of planets.

Some are huge & bloated with gas.

Some are desert worlds pock-marked with craters.

Some are seething ocean worlds.

Some have huge mountain ranges.

Some are little more than big rocks.

Some are spinning snow-balls.

There are even lesser planets that revolve around the planets.

These are the moons.

D.S. tries being a moon...

But it is a bit alienating.

The moons live & move & have their being around the planets.

It is all part of the Same Basic Pattern.

Planets & their moons are where matter tends to exist...

In somewhat more dense states than they could in the stars.

Finally, there are a few planets which will become...

Bearers of intelligent, self-directing matter.

D.S. likes that...

D.S. becomes one of those.

* * * * *

On the surface & within the planets...

Different kinds of matter form & evolve.

Most of the matter on most planets is just a bunch of rocks.

D.S. is a rock lying & cracking under the hot sun.

There's nothing particularly special about this rock.

The rock mostly just lies around...

& get pushed around by one force or another.

The rock is the perfect sleepy head.

Every once in a while the rock become compressed or over-heated...

By being close to the star; then with its peers melts...

& re-solidifies in a different shape.

Perhaps the rock will evolve into metal.

The metal reflects light & conducts energy.

Metals have slightly more consciousness than plain ordinary rocks.

Or the rock will evolve into crystals.

Crystals are very highly refined states of atomic organization.

The atoms within a crystal arrange themselves...

Into perfect geometric configurations.

Crystals have the capacity to focus energy into a coherent beam.

Crystals have a bit more consciousness than either rocks or metals.

Some of the more evolved crystals have a rudimentary potential...

For intelligence or the storage of patterns of intelligence.

But that's for later on.

* * * * *

Where the conditions are right, there are liquids & gasses.

D.S. becomes liquidified.

Or D.S. evaporates into gas.

Liquids & gasses have less definite forms than solid rocks do.

D.S. flows around in currents.

Liquids & gasses have more energy than solids...

Therefore they tend to have more degrees of consciousness.

It is hard to pin D.S. down at this stage.

The atoms of liquids & gasses are too jumpy to pack together.

Liquids & gasses can change their shape according to whatever contains them.

D.S. just whisks & flows around hither & thither...

Just go with the flow.

* * * * *

A recapitulation is in order at this point:

Something (D.S.) arose from nothing (D.S.).

Therefore, something & nothing are one.

Therefore, all the manifold manifestations of this entire Universe...

Are absolutely n o t h i n g.

Or all the surrounding space is something.

Whichever way you want to put it is fine.

D.S. can be a nihilist or a pantheist - both are right & both are wrong.

Consciousness is energy.

Energy is matter.

Therefore, all matter is differing degrees of consciousness.

Some kinds of matter are more conscious than other kinds of matter.

It all depends on how much energy they contain...

& how much control is directed over that energy.

If something & nothing are one & the same...

Then that means D.S. is all one.

If D.S. is ulitmately created out of different degrees of consciousness...

Then that means that everything D.S. becomes is consciousness.

It is all part of the Same Basic Pattern.

The Same Basic Pattern is reflected anywhere & everywhere.

* * * * *

Cut back to a particular world...

D.S. is fond of it & chooses to nurture it...

Like a Good Mama.

This planet is just the right certain distance from its home star...

Not too hot, not too cold.

The temperature in the Cosmic Incubator is set just right.

After a necessary interval of time, some very complicated combinations...

Of atoms begin to form within the liquids & gasses.

The energy from the home star prompts them to do that.

The first compounds are very simple.

Gradually, over a long period of time...

These compounds become more complex.

D.S. is patient... It has all eternity for the results.

D.S. whistles a tune of spiraling motiffs.

("Merrily, merrily, merrily merrily, Life is but a Dream.")

It helps things along.

As they become increasingly complex...

They become somehow "motivated" to remain that way...

At that particular level of complexity.

Otherwise, all that building up & development of their complexity...

Would all have been for nothing.

They develop strategies to protect themselves...

From the surrounding environment of less complex compounds.

They keep one another company within little bubbles.

Some of the very complex compounds hit upon methods...

Of making copies of themselves so their complexity will be "preserved".

Now why didn't they think of that before?

They find ways to synthesize other complex compounds...

To surround themselves with to protect them.

It somehow becomes exceedingly important for these complex compounds...

To preserve the integrity of their complexity at all costs.

After all, they went to quite a bit of trouble just to get that way.

D.S. certainly doesn't want to lose it now.

The real fun is about to begin.

* * * * *

At this stage, there is a New Game in the Universe:

For these conglomerations of complex compounds to maintain the integrity...

Of the complexity of their compounds is to be "alive".


To have that complexity destroyed & re-dissolved...

Into the surrounding less-complex environment is "death".

Each organization of complex compounds fears & resists...

This impending dissolution more than anything else.

It goes back to the original atoms' primal terror of "nothingness".

(& remember: There ain't no such animal!)

This conglomeration of complex compounds is primal protoplasm...

The stuff life is made of.

Thus the basic ground rule for all subsequent life has been firmly established:

You must do everything you can to maintain & perpetuate "life".

You must conversely do everything you can to resist "death".

* * * * *

How ironic it is.

This primal protoplasm equates dissolution as "death"...

As though it were total unconsciousness.

How false.

Anything & everything in the entire universe...

Is but varying degrees of consciousness.

There is no such thing as "death", ie., "total unconsciousness".

Everything merges into everything else.

Everything is everything.

D.S. = D.S.

However, these compounds which make up the stuff called "life"...

Have themselves caught up in a self-created dilemma.

They must do everything they can to maintain...

The integrity of their complex chemical composition.

They must do everything they can to avoid or defer the inevitable dissolution.

To add to the stakes, the more evolved the organism has become...

The more it has to lose.

The more evolved the organism is, the greater its fear of "death".

But the irony is that there is no such thing.

The Greater Irony is D.S., once the Mind of the Universe, has unwittingly...

Become identified with these creatures in the process of creating them.

* * * * *

It must be inserted here that there are many different kinds of this complexity...

Called "life" & many ways it can develop & evolve.

There are some kinds of life on some planets that evolve from liquids.

On other planets, life may evolve from gasses.

There are planets, where life evolves from certain kinds of crystals.

There are even forms of life which can evolve within the heart of stars.

What is about to be described is but one possible way...

Among countless possibilities by which life evolves.

* * * * *

It is rather ironic that the Mind of the Universe which is trying to wake up...

Through the evolution of these forms becomes so identified with these forms...

That it forgets Its Original Purpose which is to wake up.

Like Rip Van Winkle, D.S. takes a long nap which is to last for vast ages.

In the meantime, D.S. dreams of being different life forms.

* * * * *

As the primitive life-bearing planet revolves countlessly around its home-star...

The protoplasmic compounds form, dissolve, & re-form...

Into increasingly complex patterns.

They use the energy of the home-star to make replicas of themselves.

Eventually, the inevitable has to occur...

All of the suitable atoms & compounds in the surrounding gasses & liquids...

Are used up.

There's no more where those came from.

Here, the first major division takes place.

Some of the organisms absorb the dissolved components of compounds...

Which have broken up into the surrounding environment...

Then use energy from the home-star to make more of their own substance.

These organisms are the "plants".

They were here first.

Then, later on, there evolve organisms that are too lazy...

Or just don't have the "right stuff" to make their own substance.

Why bother, when they can just assimilate the contents of the organisms...

Which do make their own substance?

They can just take the stuff & run.

This forcible assimilation of stuff that they themselves didn't make...

Is called "eating".

These organisms are the "animals".

These organisms are the first "thieves" in the Game of Life.

They develop the means to propel themselves around & eat all they want.

Then there are animals which evolve that make their living...

By eating the animals which eat the plants.

Thus a whole vicious cycle begins.

It's eat or be eaten.

* * * * *

Whether plant or animal, the first organisms are very simple, really.

They are just tiny little bags or bubbles...

Which contain some extremely complex chemicals.

These bubble-bags are "cells".

Within the cells are very complex chemicals...

Which are capable of making more copies of themselves.

There are complex chemicals which can make other kinds of complex chemicals.

There are complex chemicals which can break down chemicals from outside...

Complex chemicals which can re-make the broken-down chemicals...

Into complex chemicals suitable for the interior of the cell.

There are complex chemicals which carry other complex chemicals...

Around to the right place within the cell.

There are complex chemicals at the boundary of the cell...

Which decide what chemicals go in or out, & what don't go in or out.

In plants, there are complex chemicals which can take energy from the home-star...

& integrate that energy into its various complex chemicals.

In animals, there are complex chemicals which can release...

This very same energy (which was stolen from the plants)...

& use it to help the cell move around & eat other cells...

So it can steal more of that energy from the plants.

All those complex chemicals doing their thing...

Like separate forms of life within the cell...

Yet somehow they all manage to dance in harmony.

The complexity becomes a burden...

As even more complexity is generated to preserve the complexity.

* * * * *

Every now & then, the cell has too much stuff inside it to contain...

It grows too big for itself.

It gets an urge to split into two.

From the one, arose two.

From the two, arose the multitudes.

Within each cell, there are certain master-chemicals which determine...

What the entire complex chemical composition of the cell is going to be.

When the cell is ready to divide in two...

So does the master-chemical also divide in two.

Each of the two new cells gets a separate copy of the master-chemical.

Then the whole thing starts all over again.

This is called "reproduction".

Things get very interesting here.

* * * * *

After millions of years (cycles of the life-bearing planet around the home- star), there manifests quite a diversity of single-cell organisms.

The master-chemicals within the cells, as they split in two again & again, undergo slight accidental changes which result in a slight change in the complex-chemical make-up of the cell.

Some of these changes are "good" (ie., work for the survival of the species).

Some of these changes are "bad" (ie., work against the survival of the species).

("Good"/"Bad" are value judgments that have no ultimate meaning.)

These changes are "mutations".

There are all kinds of single-cell organisms, all sizes & shapes.

Some are globular, some are tubular, some have shells, some have tails...

You name it, they got it.

There's a lot of space for numerous kinds of experimental diversification here.

Squirming around from the inside, looking outside...

D.S. is pleased with the results.

* * * * *

Sometimes two cells of a similar type are drawn towards one another, fuse up into one another, & mix together the contents of their master-chemicals.

There's a little give & take...

They get a little bit of each other's complex chemical composition.

When they each split in two...

They are a little different from the way they were before.

Sometimes, they merge as one, then split apart, mutated from the fusion process.

This is the very rudimentary beginnings of sex.

It somehow feels like the right thing to do.

It feels good, too.

In the realm of protoplasmic organisms, it is advantageous to be a little different from the others, to have something the others don't.

For the plants, it might be easier to capture & store more of the home-star's energy.

For the animals, it might be easier to eat the others, or it might be more difficult for the others to eat you.

In order to be different, it is necessary to change one's own structure somewhat.

Sometimes, the change takes place spontaneously.

Sometimes, the change is brought on by a merging of characteristics when sexual fusion takes place.

Change & chance is necessary for survival.

Those who change the best, survive the best.

Those who take chances may find footholds in the ladder of evolution.

Those who don't change, tend to get eaten by those who do change.

Not only that, but change is more interesting than non-change.

With each change in outward structure, there is generally an inner change in the sort of consciousness which occupies the structure.

* * * * *

D.S. is a cell.

The cell is blind.

The cell is deaf.

It is aware of motion.

It is aware of vibrations reverberating in the liquid or gaseous medium surrounding.

It is aware of its own aliveness.

That is about it.

It breathes in, breathes out.

It drifts & floats through the liquid or gaseous medium surrounding it.

There is something over there it wants to engulf.

It "senses" the something over there by the faint trace of chemicals which drift from it.

It moves towards it.

It engulfs it & takes it in, making its chemical composition a part of it.

It feels full & satisfied.

It will have plenty of chemicals inside itself for awhile.

Something is trying to get it.

It moves away.

It got away.

It's nice in this part of the liquid or gaseous medium.

It's not so nice in that other part.

Here, it is warm.

There, it is cold.

There is more energy to capture in this direction.

There is not so much of it in that other direction.

Random currents pull it this way & that.

It moves towards what enhances its aliveness.

It moves away from what threatens its aliveness.

Its aliveness is all.

Its aliveness is the whole reason for its existence.

* * * * *

Some of the cells get smart.

D.S. becomes a multiple identity composed of single identity...

It is confusing, but quite delightful.

D.S. learns that by clumping together in bunches, it is less likely to get eaten by single-celled organisms.

Besides, it enjoys one another's company that way.

There is a "security" in this clumping together.

Some of the colonies of cells root themselves down to something solid, so they won't be vulnerable to every current that drifts their way.

Other colonies of cells make a shell of inorganic material around themselves, so they won't be eaten, which is not a bad defense, although it makes their mobility rather limited.

Others just drift around, making a big parachute out of themselves, collecting whatever cells come their way for dinner.

The plant cell-colonies find it advantageous to float towards the surface of the planet's liquid shell to absorb the rays of the home-star.

These are the algae.

The animal colonies which drift around looking for food to catch are the jellyfish.

The ones in shells keep to themselves.

* * * * *

A bit later on, some of the animal multi-cellular organisms go through an interesting change.

D.S. is a tubular organism scrunching up whatever muck it can find on the bottom of the ocean...

How weird to be an inner tube a little bit alive & a little dead, too.

It's not a bad idea, because what is inside the tube is protected from what is outside.

The outside part of the tube becomes toughened to the outer environment.

The inside part of the tube takes care of what goes inside.

Stuff goes in one end of the tube & goes out the other end when it's all done with.

Some of the tubes attach themselves to rocks & swallow whatever comes their way.

These are the anemonies.

Other tubes crawl around in the mud, scooping up the stuff in front of them, & then squeezing it out behind them.

D.S. is a worm.

The worm is a rather repulsive creature.

Worms live a slippery, slithery existence.

They don't know any better.

They thrive on the dregs of the biosphere.

Yet they have their place in the Basic Pattern.

* * * * *

The tubes become more elaborate.

Within... concentric tubes form.

Each separate tube is like an organism unto itself and yet...

It is part of a larger organism.

There are tubes within the tubes which handle the assimilation of what comes in.

That is the digestive system.

Other tubes within the tube distribute the stuff around inside so that all cells within the organism get a cut of whatever's been eaten.

That is the circulatory system.

There is another kind of tube, which is actually a cord, which gathers information from the outside from specialized cells which do the "sensing", "decides" what is beneficial to the organism as a whole, "decides" what is not beneficial to the organism as a whole, & tells the organism how to move accordingly.

This is the nervous system.

The nervous system becomes the seat of the organism's consciousness.

The nervous system uses electrical energy.

This electrical energy is the organism's consciousness.

That's the one D.S. zips right into...

D.S. is all wired now.

* * * * *

Later on, after a couple of million cycles of the life-bearing planet around the home-star, the different tubes within the original tube become organs within the organism.

After awhile, they become more efficient in shape.

They become increasingly complex & specialized.

The heart beats the blood, the gills (or later on, lungs) breathe the water (or air), the stomach digests the food, the liver processes the blood, the kidneys take out the wastes, the glands secrete the catalysts, the muscles do the moving, the thigh bone is connected to the hip bone, the sex glands provide the master-chemicals for another copy of the organism, & the nervous system coordinates the whole She-

Bang.

It's not a bad arrangement, but it does have a primary disadvantage:

If one particularly important organ becomes non-functional, that's it for the rest of them.

They all "die".

And as we all know, "death" is so horrendous, it must be averted at all costs...

The price is high.

Thus defense & protection becomes an even greater priority than before.

The more complex the organism, the more it has to lose.

Thus, the more complex the organism, the greater its drive to maintain its complexity.

At the same time, the more complex the organism becomes, & especially the more complex its nervous system & senses become, the greater becomes its degree of consciousness & the diversity of what it is conscious of.

D.S. is in a drivers seat...

And the number of controls to keep track of increase...

It's like becoming a virtual air-traffic controller.

* * * * *

D.S. decides it's time for a new invention:

Male & female.

The male provides one half of the genetic material in the form of single-cells, the sperms.

The female provides the other half of the genetic material in the form of other single-cells, the eggs.

The sperm & the egg fuse together to form something that contains both & makes a new variation which is beyond both.

This is a manifestation of the Pattern of Duality, & also of the Pattern of Trinity, in that what comes from the fusion of male & female is something new.

Besides, this is going to be a lot of fun.

* * * * *

To protect their ever-increasing complexity, the tubular organisms develop different strategies.

Some simply surround themselves with one big shell.

These are the clams.

D.S. clams up... It's a rather secure feeling.

D.S. feels better protected, but gets a little frustrated at not having much mobility to shuffle around to where the food is at.

D.S. develops a different kind of shell, one that's segmented in the right places, & allows some more movement.

This is the path of the trilobites, the lobsters & crabs, & finally...

The insects. (Cursed be their existence!)

* * * * *

D.S. inserts a new kind of evolution:

D.S. develops a kind of internal shell, a hard material which surrounds the nervous system main-cord & protects the more vital organs from getting eaten or pierced.

This is a skeleton... Not a bad idea!

The skeleton is a frame which gives the previously amorphous organism a definite form.

The first creatures with skeletons that live underwater are fishes.

D.S. swims around in the shimmering waters popping eyes & gaping mouth...

In amazement at this new existence.

Such great mobility with these fins fluttering!


Thus a Major Divergence in the Animals' evolution takes place, the first fork on the path:

The clams stay right where they are & hardly change a bit.

The creatures with outer, moveable shells, the insects go one way.

The creatures with internal frames, skeletons, the fishes, go the other way.

* * * * *

D.S. is Waking Up a bit more.

D.S. identifies Itself with all kinds of diversified creatures in Its Own Creation.

D.S. dreams on & makes it up as It goes along.

* * * * *

D.S. has scales to mark its boundary between itself & the outer world, the ocean.

D.S. has teeth to chew its food with & protect itself with.

D.S. has eyes.

It sees blurry shades & shapes of grey out there.

D.S. has ears.

It hears gurgling, bubbling noises, some near, some far.

D.S. has a nose.

It can smell what is good to eat & what is not good to eat.

It can smell fish of its own kind & other kinds of fish that are dangerous to itself & its own kind.

It can taste what it eats.

What is the right kind of food tastes good.

What is not the right kind of food tastes bad.

D.S. can feel through its scales.

Water that has enough energy in it feels warm.

Water that does not have enough energy in it feels cold.

Things that conduce to its survival feel good.

Things that do not conduce to its survival feel painful.

D.S. hangs around with its own kind.

It is safer that way.

D.S. swims along, seeking for whatever may come its way.

It munches on some seaweed.

The seaweed tastes good & feels good in its stomach.

There is a sudden disturbance in the water.

The other fish are swimming away in a panic.

A great big fish with huge gaping jaws comes swooping from out of nowhere.

Before the munching D.S. has time to react, it is chomped up down the gullet of the big fish.

D.S. feels a great pain as it is masticated, then nothing.

Its energy has been released to merge with the energy surrounding it.

Now it is part of the big fish.

D.S. is now a bigger fish.

* * * * *

D.S. is a more adventurous fish than the others.

D.S. swims upwards towards the light on the surface of the water.

D.S. leaps out of the water into the air.

How different is the world up here!

What is that glowing brilliant ball up there?

What is that solid stuff over there jutting out of the water?

The surrounding medium is different up here, too, more rarefied than water is.

D.S. is intrigued.

It continues to leap out, enjoying the novelty of the experience.

It swims closer to the shore to take a closer look at this new world.

There are funny plants growing on the rocks.

Crabs are crawling around there.

Interested, other fish follow that first fish's example.

Maybe there's something new & different to eat up there.

Boldly, D.S. leaps out of the shallow waters to flop upon the very shore itself, then are carried back into the water by a crashing wave.

Other fish follow this brave pioneer.

The descendents of these adventuresome fish become chronic shore dwellers.

Millions of years later, they develop the capacity to crawl on the shore with feet- like fins & the ability to breathe some of the air with their lung-like gills.

After awhile, the new fish find that they prefer the land to the water, never-the- less they also feel a need to hang around the water to wet their skins every once in a while & also to lay their eggs.

It's kind of a force of habit that keeps them around the water, since their ancestors once spent all their time around there.

When they hatch from the eggs, they spend the first half of their lives as fish, then evolve in mid-life into land-dwellers hanging around the water.

These hybrid creatures are the ambivalent amphibians, which are mostly different kinds of frogs.

D.S. and his fellows croak jam sessions around the old pond.

* * * * *

Meanwhile, what is happening with the plants, the form of life that captures its own energy from the home-star & does not have to eat other forms of life for its living?

The plants are industriously developing a new strategy.

They come closer & closer to the shore & grow roots in the mud, gathering the dead organic stuff that has fallen to the bottom.

They grow extensions of themselves which grow towards the surface where the sun is.

Some of the smarter plants discover that it advantageous to extend even beyond the surface of the water.

There's more sunlight out there & there's no animals yet to eat them.

Tentatively, a few adventuresome plants creep up onto the barren virgin thus-far lifeless land.

Their descendents form roots to penetrate into the sandy shores for water & nutrients.

The plants were the ground-breakers which were here first.

As they grow fruitful & multiply, the plants change the very environment.

They change the surface of the land into the decomposing remnants of themselves into soil in which other plants can thrive.

They convert the air by breathing in carbon dioxide & breathing out oxygen.

It is not long before there is less & less carbon dioxide & more & more oxygen.

When the animals come along later, they breathe in the oxygen the plants breathe out & breathe out carbon dioxide which the plants breathe in.

D.S. behind all this knows what It is doing.

D.S. wafts greenly over all the wide land & transforms the earth...

Reaching tendrils upwards in worship of the sun that feeds them...

Breaking the hard rocks with determined roots.

* * * * *

The land-plants are getting bigger.

Their roots are digging into the soil which is the decomposed remains of dead plants.

The land-plants are becoming big ferns.

They grow huge leaves to catch the sunlight with.

The plants with the biggest leaves or the deepest roots or the greatest capacity to store water are the ones which tend to survive.

The plants that don't change wither in the shade of the bigger plants or run out of nutrients or water.

Like the animals, the plants have divided themselves up into male & female, though in a somewhat hermaphroditic way, where male can become female, or female become male.

Meanwhile, from the crabs have evolved insects.

The plants use the insects to exchange their genes.

The plants use the wind & flowing water to carry copies of themselves, seeds, to new terrain.

The plants grow bigger & bigger.

They venture inland from the ocean which spawned them.

They climb mountains.

They float on the water.

They send their sentries out into the forbidding deserts.

Whatever the environment, they are challenged, they are determined to survive, evolving whatever form it takes.

The plants steadfastly change the face of the planet which has spawned them.

They pave the way for the animals which will soon follow them.

It is all working out just as it should.

* * * * *

D.S. is consciousness.

Consciousness is energy.

The energy that is consciousness inhabits many forms.

When one form meets its end, the energy that is consciousness leaps onwards to become integrated into another form.

Each form has its own perspective.

Each form is capable of handling a certain amount of consciousness.

Each form is equipped with its own kind of senses.

The senses determine what kind of world the form perceives itself surrounded by.

The quality of the senses also determines the quality of the consciousness which inhabits the form.

In order for the form to survive, the consciousness within it must divide the outside world into two basic categories (another manifestation of the Pattern of Duality):

(1.) What is good for the maintenance of the organism.

(2.) What goes against the maintenance of the organism.

Anything else it ignores, it is indifferent to.

At this stage, that's about all the form's nervous system is capable of handling.

* * * * *

There's nothing much to this manifestation of D.S. - a frog.

The frog sits around the water all day.

Occasionally, a flying insect crosses its field of vision & its long curled-up tongue un-curls automatically to catch it & flick the insect into its mouth.

The insect tastes good.

Its stomach feels good, because there are plenty of insects inside it.

When the frog gets bored, it croaks a frog-song.

The other frogs, also having nothing much to do, join in.

The male frog tries to impress the female frog with the powerful bass of his magnificent voice.

He wants to be the one to fertilize her eggs.

The frog vaguely remembers swimming in the water like a fish.

The frog jumps in the water for a dip.

He has to get his skin wet every once in a while.

He can't go too far from the water.

Contentedly, the frog basks in the warm sunlight, croaks his frog-song, catches flies, & day-dreams about nothing in particular.

* * * * *

The insects are interesting toys of D.S...

They are wound-up to go, go, go.

Like other forms of life, their whole motivation & reason for existence is to survive.

They are like little machines programmed to crawl & attack whatever gets in their way.

They feed on decomposing bodies alongside with the worms.

They feed on perfectly alive bodies, sucking their blood.

They fly, they burrow, & they swim, whatever is necessary for survival.

They have eyes that are a series of inter-laced hexagons which make them see the world as an array of hexagons.

Some of them can see ultra-violet light.

D.S. peers out with these eyes...

Kind of a psychedelic experience.

They have no emotions or thoughts.

They only do what they are genetically programmed to do which is to survive at all costs.

The insects have a thing about the number six - six legs & hexagonal eyes.

Some of the insects form into genetically-programmed insect civilizations.

They are born into genetically-programmed roles.

Whatever it is, they do not question their particular role.

They just follow the orders of their genetic program.

The Hive, the Home-Nest, is the end-all & be-all of their existence.

They think nothing of sacrificing their lives for the protection of the Hive.

For awhile, the whole land-world is dominated exclusively by insects.

It is the Age of Insects.

The insects grow to gigantic proportions.

Their Hives tower everywhere.

In multitudinous six-legged forms, D.S. creeps, flies, and buzzes over the land...

Eating everything in sight.

Then the Great Frogs come along & eat them.

It becomes the Age of the Giant Frogs.

It's business as usual:

Eat or be eaten.

* * * * *

Meanwhile, none of this is actually happening.

It only appears to exist.

This is all a Dream of D.S., the Universal Mind within All.

D.S. is dreaming about being different forms.

D.S. is experiencing Itself as being in different states of consciousness while in these forms.

D.S. experiences hunger.

D.S. experiences thirst.

D.S. experiences sex.

D.S. experiences pleasure.

D.S. experiences pain.

D.S. experiences attraction.

D.S. experiences fear.

D.S. experiences struggle.

D.S. experiences growth.

D.S. experiences death.

D.S. experiences birth in a new form.

D.S. seriously believes Itself to be:

An atom, water, a rock, a planet, a star, a crystal, a cell, air, a jellyfish, a fish, seaweed, a crab, a worm, a frog, an insect, a tree-fern, lichens, dust again.

D.S. endlessly dreams about being one thing after another.

When will It Wake Up?

When will It be fully conscious of what is really going on?

* * * * *

Back to the old frog pond, D.S. returns:

For a long, long while, the giant frogs contentedly stagnate around the old water hole.

They croak their magnificent froggy songs, fertilize & lay eggs in the water, take dips & sunbaths, & flick out their tongues to catch insects on the wing.

But meanwhile, something terrible is starting to happen to the planet:

It is getting hotter & dryer.

That big, hot blazing-white orb up there in the sky is doing its thing.

Year after year, the old water hole is shrinking & shrinking.

The younger frogs take note of this; the older frogs pretend not to notice.

Bands of younger frogs hop away, wondering what the heck is out there beyond the dwindling old water hole.

Well, it's dryer out there for one thing.

There's all kinds of interesting insects out this way that are quite tasty.

It's such a drag to be built so you have to hang around the water all the time just so you can get your skin wet every now & then.

And besides, what do you do when there's not enough water for it?

The children & the children's children of the younger giant frogs hop even further away, looking for adventure.

After awhile, they don't need to go skinny-dipping anymore; they've got scales to retain their inner water.

They've got shells around their eggs, so they don't need to lay them in the water anymore.

They are independent of the water hole, so they can wander inland anywhere they want.

They can even live in deserts if need be.

Some of these grow greatly in size.

Big is beautiful for these creatures.

They grow ferocious fangs.

As the old great frogs stagnate around the dwindling water holes, disturbed about what's happening to all the water,these new creatures, ironically their descendents, come back & have them for dinner.

* * * * *

These new fellows are the Great Reptiles.

The Great Reptiles have huge fangs & fierce-looking claws, & with these, they love to fight.

O, how they love to fight!

They better know how to fight or they're likely to get waylaid on the way to the dinner-bushes, if they're into vegetation rather than meat.

There's not much space for pacifists on this world.

The plants have become great-big tree-ferns with great big leaves, so there's plenty of food for all, but never-the-less, you better be ready to defend yourself in a tight spot.

The Great Reptiles all have tough, leathery skin with the consistency of armor.

Whenever two (or, God forbid, more) get into a fight, their howls & shrieks & rolling around on the ground veritably shakes the earth & causes it to tremble for miles around.

D.S. is a huge bipedal Reptile.

He faces his opponent who has dared to make a move on his mate.

He shows huge fangs & roars.

He makes quick work of this impetuous invader on his territory.

He slices teeth through the other's throat.

Then he proceeds to have him for dinner.

The victor gets to eat the vanquished.

The majority of these living armored tanks are carnivores.

They just about have to be.

Ah, what a magnificent time it is for these Great Reptiles as they grow bigger & bigger, & fight & fight.

The Victor pounds His chest & shreiks with delight for all to hear, for He is the Greatest Reptile of all.

Meanwhile, there are these tiny little creatures cowering in the bushes, their smallness making them concealed, trembling in abject fear as they watch all this, wondering when the Great Reptiles will go away.

* * * * *

D.S., God/Creator of this planet, is beginning to wake up a little at this point.

He does not exactly like what he sees:

All these hideous, blood-thristy animals fighting & fighting all the time.

How disgusting, like a very badly-made movie.

No, this is not what he had in mind at all.

D.S. decides to wipe all this away, to un-dream this dream.

The planet tilts on its axis.

The home-star grows further away.

A strange thing happens: It grows cold.

The plants wither & die, except for the ones which have developed the ability to cope with it.

Cold, white, flaky stuff drifts & falls out of the sky & covers the ground, feet & feet of it.

The Great Reptiles tromp around & wail in agony, uncomprehending of what is happening, except that their feet are hurting in the cold white stuff & their limbs are getting heavier & there's not much to eat anymore.

They've even lost the usual urge to fight, which is utterly out of character for them.

One by one, the Great Reptiles lay down in the white stuff & go to sleep to die.

The Greatest Reptile of All screams out for the warmth & the good old days of plenty & fighting to come back, but to no avail.

Its agonized screams echo throughout the white-covered volcanoes.

The Great Reptiles have had their day.

Meanwhile, the little creatures, who have survived due to their sheer smallness, have grown fur.

Their blood has become warm.

Grateful that all those nasty big creatures out there have met their demise, the little warm-blooded furry creatures come out of their hiding places & explore this newly- abandoned world.

* * * * *

A New Age has arrived.

It has gotten warmer again, the snows have receded somewhat, & the great plains are inhabited with all kinds of strange, new life-forms.

The little furry creatures have become big furry creatures.

The plants have changed, too: Now there are trees & flowers.

Grass now grows where there used to be ferns & lichens.

There are many kinds of vegetarian furry animals which eat all this grass.

There are horses, elephants, antelopes, rhinocerouses, deer.

These creatures tend to gather in herds.

They are much more cooperative than the Great Reptiles were, at least with their own kind.

There are also creatures which eat the creatures which eat the grass.

These are primarily the big cats & dogs.

The big cats & dogs hang around with one another in tribes called "packs".

Periodically, the meat-eating packs attack the plant-eating herds.

These furry warm-blooded animals are the mammals.

In this age, the mammals have gotten great big.

The reptiles & the frogs have gotten mighty small; now they're the ones who stay out of the way & hide in the bushes.

There's also some creatures with warm blood, feathers, & are able to fly.

These are the birds; they're not very smart, but they're pretty to look at & sing nice songs.

D.S. looks upon this work...

It is good.

Voila!

* * * * *

The mammals have invented something new.

They have a totally different way of reproducing.

It's called "fucking".

The male mammal inserts his penis into the female mammal's vagina.

The penis is a blood-engorged organ which goes into the vagina which is a blood-engorged hole.

From the penis is ejected sperm which becomes united with eggs in the female's vagina.

This is another manifestation of the Pattern of Duality.

It feels very nice & gives sex a decidedly extra delightful dimension.

It's a good method for ensuring that the species will be motivated to reproduce regularly.

There is also an unusually close relationship between the mother & the offspring:

She provides sustenance to them by them sucking on organs called "breasts".

The sustenance is like blood, though it is "milk".

The male mammal provides for the female while she is pregnant & nurturing the offspring.

Simultaneous with this, the mammals have invented something else.

It's called "love".

Love is an emotional bond between one creature & another.

One creature cares for another creature.

It is genuinely concerned for the well-being of the other.

The mammals have discovered that caring & cooperation is a far superior survival trait than the incessant fighting & competition which is one of the causes of the demise of the Great Reptiles.

The male mammal loves the female mammal & the offspring which result from their fucking.

The female mammal loves the male mammal who fucked her & her offspring.

The member of a species group, whether tribe, pack, or herd, loves the tribe, pack, or herd.

This love does not extend beyond the immediate family, species, or group, however.

That will come later.

With loving-kindness, D.S. nurtures his Creation.

D.S. experiences the wonder of love within each creature.

* * * * *

D.S. shifts into this scene, transformed into the main characters:

The male wolf & the female wolf are going out hunting.

They have just mated in some bushes a while back.

Now the female wolf is going to need additional sustenance for the young which she will bear within her.

It is a good day & the wolves are happy.

They are glad they have one another's company.

They are in love with one another.

They follow a scent-trail & creep up on a herd of sleak, juicy antelopes & attack.

The antelopes are taken completely unawares.

The entire herd bucks away in sheer terror & panic.

Most get away; a few don't.

The few that don't were older & diseased; they could not run fast enough.

The wolves tear off the skin with their teeth & claws & have themselves a feast.

They will have plenty of meat for days.

A few days later, the wolves come down with a sickness.

They can't understand why they feel so tired & lethargic.

By this time, certain single-celled organisms have learned how to thrive within the multi-cellular organisms.

The wolves whimper & groan.

They can't hold their food down.

The female wolf dies; the male wolf manages somehow to survive.

The male wolf cannot understand why his mate has become so still.

He tries to prod her awake with his nose, but it has no effect.

Once she was so alive; now she doesn't move a muscle.

The male wolf howls & howls in pain & despair.

In wolf-language, he is crying out:

"WHY?"

(Oh, how many times has D.S. asked the same thing!)

* * * * *

Some mammals have taken to the trees to escape the carnivorous cats & dogs.

The trees evolved just in time for them.

It's all working out.

Some of the mammals which take to the trees become squirrels.

Others of the same type become monkeys.

The trees have graciously provided nuts & fruits for them.

All they are required to do in return is to either spit out or shit out the seeds onto new ground where there grow more trees.

It's not a bad arrangement.

The monkeys have developed good eyesight, the better to see from one branch to another by.

It's curtains for them if they fall, so that eyesight better be good.

They can see in color, the better to see the various fruits by.

Their front paws have become little hands, the better to grab the branches by as they swing from one tree to the next.

They've developed bigger-than-usual brains; they've got to have their depth perception calculated right to tell where one branch stands in relation to the next.

Having bigger brains means they are also more conscious of the world around them.

They are conscious of a colorful, variety-filled world.

They've learned that it is fun to make noises with their mouths that mean different things & they can make hand signals to one another, too.

They can tell each other where a tree filled with juicy fruits is or where to avoid the lair of a big cat.

They can pick up branches & do things with them.

Whenever one of those mean & nasty tiger-cats come around, they all screech & throw sticks & fruits at them below.

D.S. does a close-up on these creatures...

They have a lot of potential for the next stage.

D.S. has got this all worked out.

* * * * *

D.S. is a tree:

The tree grows stately & big.

The tree has lived for hundreds of years.

The tree is still growing.

The tree stretches its limbs towards the sun.

Its leaves absorb delicious radiation.

The tree has beautiful flowers exuding pleasant fragrances which the bees are attracted to.

The bees help the tree mate with other trees.

Together they pool their genes to make a better tree.

The tree offers fruit to all mammals & birds who wish to partake.

The seeds spill on the ground to make more trees.

The tree is a shelter for small mammals & birds who live up here to escape the roving cats & dogs below.

It is glad to have them aboard for they eat the insects which try to eat it & eat its fruits to spread its seeds around.

The tree has a particular connection with the monkeys...

Whose forebears will continue to revere it for ages to come.

The tree exists in perfect harmony with all the creatures around it & within it.

The tree is the utmost perfection of the plant kingdom.

The tree is happy to be just what it is.

Ah, this is the life.

* * * * *

D.S. becomes transmutated into the birds, a collective identity:

The birds sing a song.

Their song sounds so pleasant to both themselves & others.

They love to sing when the great life-giving orb of warmth & light rises.

They sing mournfully after it when it leaves at the end of the day.

"Come back, come back," they sing to it.

They sing when it has stopped raining & the sun re-emerges again out of the clouds.

Sometimes the sun seems to go further away towards the south & the leaves of the trees change colors & there is not much to eat & it gets cold & dark & gloomy.

It is then that the birds get an urge to fly away in the direction the sun went.

At that time of the year, the birds go on a long journey to the land where the sun always shines brightly & warmly.

Then they follow it back to their homeland, when the sun heads north again.

The birds go where the sun goes.

How beautiful everything looks when they fly high above.

How free they feel.

Nothing can hurt them at all up here.

The birds gather in great congregations in the trees & sing, sing, sing their species song.

They're not very smart, but how they love to sing & at least they know where to go when it gets cold.

D.S. likes having them around.

* * * * *

D.S. sets the stage for another evolutionary permutation:

The weather is changing again.

It is getting hotter & drier.

The trees are growing further & further apart to conserve water.

It is no longer possible for the monkeys to swing from one tree to the next like it was in the good old days.

They must change with the weather.

They come down from the trees.

They get bigger & bolder.

They can stand on two feet.

They can run.

If a wolf or tiger-cat comes running after them, they can dash right back up a nearby tree again.

They discover that they can throw rocks at the dogs & cats, & hold them off that way.

They find that it is advantageous to hang around in bands called "tribes".

They develop a system for silently communicating to one another with hand signals, so if a tiger comes around, they can make this known at a distance without giving themselves away.

These monkeys are getting pretty smart, aren't they?

One day, they discover that if they hurl a hefty rock with just the right amount of force at a tiger's head, they can make it lie suddenly very still, permanently.

At first, they can't figure it out: That big cat was charging right after them & now it's head is bashed in & it isn't moving.

They use a certain logic: If B follows A, then A caused B.

It must have been that rock that did it.

The monkeys howl & clap & cheer; they gather around the vanquished ages-old enemy & poke sarcastically at its still form with sticks.

They tear at its skin with sharp rocks & try eating its flesh as it once ate their flesh.

Hmmmm, meat is not so bad.

Maybe they can make a new kind of living this way.

* * * * *

The running, bipedal monkeys take up hunting with sticks & stones.

Now they're a third kind of feared predators, along with the big cats & dogs, for the vegetarian mammals that graze on the grasslands.

In fact, they've become such good hunters that sometimes the dogs join their tribe for a share of the bounty.

They've developed sharper teeth for eating meat with.

They organize their hunt in bands.

The strongest male monkey who can fight & intimidate the best is usually the leader of the band.

Whatever he decides is what goes.

These monkeys have become a lot more aggressive than their ancestors were.

They have to be, to fight off those vicious cats & dogs.

For days & days, a band of monkeys has been chasing after a herd of antelopes.

They finally catch up with one & gather around it & ruthlessly bash its head in.

They divvy up the kill.

The leader gets the biggest share, of course.

They throw some leftovers to a stray dog that has joined their tribe.

They celebrate by having a feast, then proceed to take what's left back to the females & the young ones.

They stop at a water hole to drink up.

* * * * *

There is one monkey, not a leader of the band, which has a bigger brain than the other monkeys.

He is a mutant; he was born that way.

This monkey is D.S.

In the body of a monkey, D.S. notices a strange thing while drinking.

There's another monkey looking back up at him on the surface of the water.

It keeps doing exactly what he is doing.

If he scratches his head, the other monkey scratches his head, too.

If he strikes out with his fist in a threat, the other monkey does likewise.

What the hell is going on here?

D.S. becomes exasperated.

"Stop imitating me, you dumb monkey!" he screeches in monkey-language at the monkey on the water.

The other monkeys look up from their drinking at him as though he were crazy.

They don't see anything unusual down there.

The monkey shrieks in frustration & hits the other monkey down there for its reprehensibly bad manners.

But, as soon as his fist hits the surface of the water, the other monkey suddenly disappears in the ripples of the splashing water.

The other monkeys shake their heads & shrug their shoulders...

Maybe this monkey's sick in the head & they'll have to abandon him.

The leader monkey comes over & shrieks at him to shut up.

The leader monkey can't have anything odd or unusual like this going on in his tribe.

The D.S. monkey is confused.

That other monkey is down there again, now that the water is still again.

The monkey in the water looks confused, too.

Big ripples form deeply in both of their primitive foreheads.

D.S. thinks about it.

With his bigger brain, he is able to think, unlike the other monkeys in his tribe.

He becomes very aware of this unusual process - thinking.

There's something new & fascinating about it...

But he knows his peer monkeys don't seem to do it.

He notices something.

This other monkey keeps mimicking his every action even as he is doing it.

How can it possibly know in advance everything he is about to do?

Then the monkey gets it...

A flashbulb goes off in his primitive cerebral cortex.

That other monkey is him!

That is what HE looks like.

"Me..." He points to the reflection of himself in the water.

"That is me," he thinks in an internal monkey-language of his own.

"I am just another one of these monkeys & yet I am different from them somehow, because I am me & the other monkeys don't know that. There is something that makes me different from those other monkeys, but I don't know quite what it is."

This was the longest stream of thinking in any brain of any creature up to that stage of evolution.

D.S. achieves the birth of self-consciousness.

He feels somewhat embarrassed to find himself in the body of a monkey.

It's like he suddenly discovered a kind of forbidden knowledge.

* * * * *

The first self-conscious monkey finds a mate who will put up with his strange ways (also a bit odd in the head) & they go off to form a new tribe.

This tribe inherits his larger brain & he teaches them to be self-conscious, too.

The descendents of this tribe of monkeys have come a long way now.

They are less furry, stand up straighter, & wear the skins of the animals which they have killed.

They have discovered how to make fire for warmth & have learned to cook meat over a fire.

It tastes better that way.

Their brains are even bigger than before & they are able to talk.

They are able to think about things beyond their immediate survival.

Now there is not only a leader, but there is a shaman.

The shaman can see things the others can't; the shaman can think things the others can't; the shaman can communicate with the Invisible Ones.

D.S. is the shaman of this tribe.

* * * * *

Over the fires at night, the shaman explains it all:

"The world we see around us was created by the Big Monkey. The Big Monkey made us in His Image. The Big Monkey made this world just for us. All the creatures of the world fear us now, even the cats & dogs, because we have fire & we have spears & we are smart & can think, & they can't. We are destined to rule this world. The Big Monkey made the bisons & antelopes just for us, so we might have sustenance. We should praise the Big Monkey when we have made a kill, for if we don't, He may become displeased with us & cause the land to become barren again as it once was in days of old."

"What happens to us after we die, O Venerable Shaman?" asks a curious child- monkey.

All the monkeys are terrified at the prospect of losing their self-consciousness...

They'd like to be assured of survival of this after their bodies become still & stiff.

The shaman gazes ponderously into the fire, waiting for an inspired answer:

"Then we will return to the Land of the Big Monkey where there are always plenty of antelopes & bison, & there are none of these mean cats & dogs, & the sun always shines, & there is always water. But, heed my words, we must please the Big Monkey in order to be allowed to live in His Land. Since I am His Spokesman, you must always obey the rules I lay down & bring to me what I ask for, or the Big Monkey will be very displeased & may bring us famine, & we don't want that, do we?"

Thus is the invention of the first crude religion, which is an explanation among self-conscious species what the purpose of life is.

* * * * *

It is at this point that D.S. wakes up.

D.S. has become fully conscious.

However, D.S. has not become fully conscious of Itself as the Mind of the Universe.

He has woken up to be aware of himself as a very intelligent monkey.

He doesn't really know how he got to be that way.

At this stage, he really believes he is an intelligent monkey & not the Mind that dreamed up this whole thing.

Although fully conscious, he still has some interesting experiences to go through.

* * * * *

The intelligent monkeys slowly at first, exponentially later, become even more intelligent.

They become even more adept in the invention of tools.

They move from using tools of stone to using tools of metal.

They learn to grow and nurture their own food, rather than being dependent on whatever they can find in the wild.

They move from living in caves to building huts to building shelters of stone & metal.

Their religions become even more elaborate & they invent philosophies.

They create elaborate works of art in the form of writing, music, visual effects.

They create the ability to destroy their own kind by weapons containing vast amounts of energy.

They spread all over the planet like mold on an orange, slowly destroying the environment that nurtures them.

These are the human beings.


D.S. breaks like a dam full of water becoming incarnate into each & all of these humans.

He simultaneously experiences great compassion & great regret for these beings.

He experiences multitudes of human lifetimes.

He partakes of the sheer variety of human experiences, far more elaborate than anything that evolved so far.

BACK TO SCHOOL IN PARADISE

           D.S. is flashed back to his self-created heavenly paradise. He is now in the form of Dogstar sitting at the feet of the Master, Llang Llong. He idly lies down on the heavenly grass chewing on a heavenly blade of grass & gazing up at heavenly clouds in the sky. The clouds form into all kinds of diverse life-forms, then dissolve away into the sky, reforming into something more elaborate.
           Dogstar asks: "So, tell me, Llang Llong, what is to be the fate of these humans? Will they make it or not?"
           Llang Llong comments: "There is no one answer to that question, Dogstar. The humans are at a major crossroads of evolution. Perhaps they will devolve into something far worse - or they will hopefully evolve onwards to a higher level. They are certainly not at the apex of the whole thing, as many of them are deluded."
           Llang Llong goes on to describe the possibilities of these new sentient toys, the humans. As he speaks, Dogstar experiences some illustrations:
           "Once a sapient species, such as these intelligent monkeys which will evolve into humans, attains self-consciousness & becomes aware that it can evolve itself rather than wait around for random mutations to do its evolving for it, a species can become technologically advanced in a relatively rapid period of time. However, this advance has a certain price, & how the species deals with the repercussions of such an advance, is the Universal Intelligence Test, which they must pass before they can be admitted into the Inter-Galactic Unity. There are three possible evolutionary directions for the humans:

           "(1.) SELF-EXTINCTION - They will reach the stage where it is actually possible for them to destroy the environment which has spawned them. They will have to take corrective actions to prevent this. They will have discovered the equivalence of energy & matter, & might possibly annihilate themselves by warfare utilizing this knowledge, if they prove incapable of evolving beyond their primitive territorial imperatives. They will have invented machines which provide plenty of food for them & they will have eliminated most natural causes of physical death, thus they will be at a point where they could easily overpopulate & use up all the resources on their planet, unless they (1.) learn to control their own reproductive rate, (2.) migrate into space & to other planets, &/or (3.) learn to synthesize their own resources, preferably some combination of all three."

           [D.S. is running, running, bombs flashing everywhere around. He must find a shelter quickly before it all annihilates him. All over are mutilated bleeding corpses. Automatic computerized tanks slowly turn on their treads towards him.]

           "(2.) TOTAL MECHANIZATION - They will have become very adept at the invention & development of machines to do much of their physical work & routine mental calculations for them. Since the machines will be physically & mentally superior to them in certain ways & it would be possible for machines to live in environments which their physical biological bodies would prerish in, it is very possible that, in order to escape self- extinction, they might replace their own biological bodies with their machines. This generally turns out to be an evolutionary dead-end, because in the process of converting themselves into machines, they lose their self-consciusness, or for that matter, any sort of consciousness at all. This is what happens when a species puts sheer efficiency & physical survival at a premium over the inner quality of consciousness, making it an end in itself."

           [D.S. is no longer in a body of meat, but is an intelligence in a circuit board. This intelligence simply processes an infinite array of 0's & 1's. It has been programmed to do this & it is incapable of doing anything else.]

           "(3.) INWARD EVOLUTION - The third route a self-aware species could take is that they could learn to evolve inwardly rather than externally. Here they can arrange things so their physical survival & basic needs are assured, in a way that in not in conflict with their natural environment. Now they will have the leisure to ponder upon what the true meaning of their existence is. They place more value on the quality of their internal experience rather than upon the sheer size & power of what they can build outside of them. They delight in investigating the universe around them & observing other on-going evolutionary experiments on other planets, even helping along, if they think it's right. They have realized the purpose of their evolution, which is to attain greater & greater states of consciousness. They are able to attain a relative physical immortality by absolute control over their bodily processes, having awareness that it is mind which holds matter-energy together in its various forms. They proceed to return to the Source of All Being, this time with full & complete consciousness. In the humans, there are occasional neurological mutants who are evolving this way, which tends to give a push to the species evolution as a whole."

           [D.S. & his fellows are wearing loose tunics dancing around the fire & drinking a potion with hallucinogenic plants in it. They are all chanting praises to the Universal Mind. Dawn comes, illuminating a lovely paradisical civilization with pyramids on energy centers of the earth.]

* * * * *

           Dogstar is back in heaven with Llang Llong. He is blissfully playing with a paradisical flower, so intricate in its design, like a castle of wonder. He takes a long sniff & is transported into the Realm of the Angels by the perfumes therein.
           "Tell me, then, O Master, what about the religions of these humans? Surely this is something that sets them apart from the other creatures that had evolved so far. Is it possible that this is a device that could enable them to evolve to a higher level?"
           "Indeed, it is, Dogstar! But, you see, even their basic belief systems evolve. Let me tell you about them:
           "The humans, having attained some degree of self-awareness, the primary indicator of a sapient species, have a profound need to have some kind of belief concerning the meaning of existence, particularly their own existence. They are understandably very concerned about the phenomena of physical "death", & have created all kinds of elaborate explanations as to what happens afterwards. There are three basic metaphysical modes among the humans at any given time, varying from culture to culture, which are as follows:

           "(1.) SPECIES-MORPHIC - In this mode, there is a belief in a Divine Creator, or group of gods (male) & goddesses (female), who have more or less the same appearance as one's own species, or other familiar biological forms on the planet, who have the same territorial motivations, the same desires, the same jealousies, etc. as one's own species. The belief in the afterlife is that things will still be more or less the same as they are in this life, that one will continue to possess a physical body with physical senses & physical needs, or will be resurrected in the same physical body, or will be reborn in another physical body. The world of the senses is taken for granted as absolutely real. This is the mode of many popularly believed & somewhat more primitive religions."

           ["You must worship Yahwah!" screams the priest at his shuddering followers. "Only if we appease Yahwah with the sacrifice of the innocent lamb & the heart of a virgin girl will we avoid the trembling of the earth & thunders from the skies!" A group of armed men come for D.S., now the selected maiden.]

           "(2.) SCIENTIFIC - In this mode, the only reality is that which can be perceived by the physical senses or measured by instrumental extensions thereof. The belief here is that it is all a big accident, there is no Divine Creator, there is no life after "death", there is no ultimate purpose, & it just "happened" the way it did. Everything can be neatly explained as the result of a set of physical "Laws", which somehow "accidentally" came into existence, too, a contradiction they fail to reconcile or even acknowledge. This is the mode of the scientists."

           ["As we can see, consciousness is but an epiphenomena of the cerebral cortext," calmly explains the behaviorist professor. Dogstar raises his hand: "I'm not sure I believe that. So does that mean YOU are an epiphemena of your own brain?"]

           "(3.) MONISTIC - In this mode, the belief is that All is One, that everything is composed of essentially the same basic stuff, differing energy configurations possessing differing degrees of consciousness & differing ways of perceiving what is. The universe only appears to be differentiated into separate objects & entities, because that is what the physical senses indicate, thus the world of the physical senses is perceived as a mass hallucination. The purpose of life is to lose one's sense of separateness & to re-merge back into the One, which is the Source of All Being. From the perspective of this mode, there is no "death", only a ceaseless flow & transmutation of conscious energy. This is the mode of the mystics & many philosophers."

           [D.S. is in the Church of Conscious Evolution. On the walls & on stained glass windows are various stages of the evolutionary process lined in an order like Stations of the Cross: the Big Bang, galaxies, stars, planets, rocks, crystals, cells, multicelluar organisms, plants, fish, frogs, reptiles, mammals, monkeys, humans, superhumans, angels, gods/goddeses, Universal Consciousness. The Goal on the altar is portrayed in a holographic pattern that is ever-changing & yet the same. They are all intoning the Prayer of the Cosmos:

           "O Universal Mind that dwells within & beyond All There Is... May Your Essence be Revealed! Give us our daily sustenance, both physical & subtle. Forgive us our mistakes, as we forgive the mistakes of others. Lead us not into De-Evolution, but deliver us from Negativity. May You Manifest to Guide Us to Evolve Further. For You are the New Level to come & the Enlightenment & the Force, From Beginningless Beginning to Endless End... AUM."]

* * * * *

           Dogstar in his own heaven paradise is gazing intently at a colony of ants slowly constructing a giant pyramid. How cooperative they seem to be! Somehow by natural forces they seem to know exactly what to do. The end result is an incredible pyramid with designs that pay homage to the Great Ant Goddess, the Queen, on their walls. After they construct the pyramid, they go on to create, grain of sand by grain of sand, each grain like a sparkling diamond, an entire city of pyramids and obelisks of fascinating geometrical patterns.
           "And how will the humans manage to organize themselves, Llang Llong? Surely, this will have an effect on their evolution."
           "Yes, you are indeed developing Transcendent Insight, Dogstar! I will describe these to you:
           "The humans will become quite adept at the creation of elaborate societies, since close socialization plays an important role for them in their formative development. At any given time, the humans may be found in any one of the following basic societal modes, or in transition from one to the other:

           "(1.) BARBARIC SOCIETY - In this mode, survival of the fittest & the most powerful in the sheer physical sense reigns supreme. Whoever kills the most & the swiftest usually rules. This leader is frequently assassinated by someone else who becomes the new leader. No one is safe from being killed, raped, robbed, tortured, or having other forms of violence inflicted upon them. Everybody must be on guard & ready to fight. This stage was more common in their distant past, but still periodically occurs in states of transition, particularly in that phenomena called 'war'."

           ["By Thor, I will teach those Celts a thing or two! How dare they come raid my shores! My men & I shall slaughter them heartily & take THEIR wives & daughters" says D.S. as he puts on his horned helmet & straps his huge sword on. "To war we shall go!"

           "(2.) LAW-&-ORDER SOCIETY - This mode generally follows a long and drawn-out bout of Barbaric Society, necessarily so, since if left to their own devices, these creatures could literally wipe themselves out, & have come close to doing so time after time. So a powerful government takes firm control & forces the humans to abide by various rules & regulations. This powerful government entrenches itself very firmly, often for centuries at a time, usually justifying its extreme power by some document called a "Constitution" or "The Law" which they arbitrarily give a god-like status. Often the leadership of a Law-&-Order Society is indistinguishable from that of a Barbaric Society. One's personal property may be safer from theft in this type of society & one might not fear getting abruptly waylaid as much as in Barbaric Society, but at the price of much or nearly all of one's personal freedom, although the government has its subjects hypnotized that this is not so. In Law-&-Order Society, rules & regulations are arbitrarily made to govern just about any & all of one's personal actions, not only the actions that are actually causing harm to others, but all enjoyable actions that are not conducive to subservience to the government or to those actually in power. Anytime, one's personal property may be taken away by the government or one might be waylaid by the "law-enforcers" for breaking any arbitrary law. It is almost as if these creatures delight in making their own lives increasingly complicated for no good reason what-so-ever. The basic premise of Law-&-Order Society is that no one can be trusted at all, which is supposedly why all these rules & regulations are necessary, although it is really all for the benefit of those in power."

           ["Sir, it looks like those anarchists are really getting out of hand. I hear a plot is brewing on the underground computer networks. They want to legalize oxygen."
           "Well, we can't have THAT," says D.S. in a tight uniform bedecked with medals for deeds of valiance. "After all, there is only so much of the stuff to go around, we have to make do with methane in the meantime. Besides, oxygen is VERY addictive. Let them breathe carbon monoxide. Root them out & exterminate them. Those damned anarchists are like roaches crawling all over the place."]

           "(3.) SELF-ORGANIZING SOCIETY - After a long extended period of Law-&- Order Society, the humans instinctively become sick & tired of being bossed around in all their little everyday actions, so they either overthrow the government or simply ignore it. Often they will regress back to the Barbaric Society mode or simply exchange one kind of Law-&-Order Society for another, but occasionally, they may advance to the third mode, which is Self-Managing. Here, the humans agree to do without any government or documents what-so-ever. They agree to cooperate with one another & are sufficiently evolved so they can trust one another. They discover that they are perfectly capable of managing their own affairs. Anyone can do anything they want, as long as they are not harming anybody. This sort of Society is so far very rare & brief in human history, since this species tends to feel very lost without some sort of leader, someone in 'control'. There are certain neurological mutants in this species who are transcending this. Every successful species which joins the Inter-Galactic Unity reaches this stage permanently."

           [D.S. is sitting among a group of people who spend days reaching a state of consensus about how they will dole out tasks among everyone in the sub-community. If anyone from the community objects, they have to do the same thing all over again. Every once in a while they take a break in a kind of intensive group silence. A buzzing comes into everyone's minds. When they come out of it, they have the right solution that makes everyone happy.]

* * * * *

           Dogstar in heaven again, sighs blissfully listening to the calls of the exotic birds singing symphonic masterpieces everywhere. He observes the mating of butterflies with glowing psychedelic fractal patterns on their wings. He asks:
           "Then, tell me this, Llang Llang. I have always sensed that the personalities of these humans are a mask to veil their true Divine Essence. I wonder if you could elaborate on this phenomena?"
           "Well asked, Dogstar, O Divine Star at the Center of this Universe! Before I send you in that Maze of Personalities, I must recapitulate:"

           "It is in a sapient, self-conscious species such as the humans (there are other kinds of self-conscious species on other planets & even the same planet) that you, the Mind of the Universe wake up, become self-aware, & view your very own Creation through the eyes of one of your creatures. This is the real purpose of evolution. As you progress from inorganic matter to protoplasm on to multi-cellular organisms on to increasingly more sensitive & intelligent types of creatures, you are steadily waking up bit by bit. In protoplasm, you are more awake than you were when you experienced yourself as a rock. As a jellyfish, you are more awake than protoplasm. As an insect, you are more awake than a jellyfish, because you now have senses. You are still more awake as a frog. You are much more awake as a mammal; now you have feelings. Finally, in a species with a sufficiently developed brain capacity such as the humans, you wake up completely & achieves self-consciousness.

           "However, just because you are fully awake, does not necessarily mean that you know what It's all about. As we saw with that monkey a while back, you came awake, but did you realize then & there what you really were & what you were doing there? No. All you could see there reflected in the water was a monkey. So that's what, you, the All- Powerful, Universe-Sustaining Mind perceived yourself as. A dumb, helpless monkey out of touch with its own kind. How ironic. You have attained self-consciousness, but you have not attained Self-Consciousness. You, crawling up a long tedious ladder of evolution, still have a long way to go.

           "The problem is, naturally after billions & billions of years of being one itty-bitty finite creature after another, you are still stuck on these images, still hypnotized by these lifetimes, still driven on by various desires & fear of "death". you are stuck on a broken- record circuit. Somehow you have to 'Stop the World' to get off.

           "This accounts for the pervasive religious impulse among these self-conscious creatures, the humans, whose being you share. Somehow, they subconsciously realize that something is 'missing', but they can't figure out quite what it is. They somehow suspect that there is more to life than merely gathering enough food to eat, having sex, making themselves more comfortable with technological inventions, etc., but they are not sure what this "more" is. All they know is that even when they have all they need in the sheer physical sense & all their natural enemies are vanquished, they're still not quite happy.

           "There arises among them, certain people called 'seekers'. This is what you, Dogstar, are. The seekers have a greater than average curiosity concerning what this 'something missing' is. Sometimes they make up an Answer which seems logically satisfactory & this becomes a 'philosophy'. Sometimes they make up another kind of Answer that seems emotionally convincing & this becomes a 'religion'. Some make up an Answer that is aesthetically beautiful & this is 'art'. A few rare ones who seek intensively enough realize that the Answer is within them, & these Wake Up to realize that they are the Cosmic Mind, they ARE the Answer.

           "Of course, 'death' is what really bothers these seekers. Having attained self- consciousness, the idea of total annihilation, that one may lose all that, is especially scary. In this sense, they are really no different from that first bit of somethingness that arose from nothingness. It is impossible for them to really & truly accept 'death' at its apparent face-value, so they postulate various kinds of 'after-life' existences. Now since this is all a Dream of the Universal Mind, manifested into a multitude of finite selves, anything literally can go. What happens is they so fervently believe in a life after death, that they literally create a spiritual body which survives the physical body, which experiences more or less what they expected it to experience. Thus the humans invent hell, heaven, the happy hunting ground, reincarnation, ghosts from beyond, etc. However, you get just as 'stuck' in these states as you is in the physical body.

           "The development of self-consciousness has an odd effect on the behavior of the humans. Having awareness of a 'self' within them, they somehow get the idea that this 'self' is visibly naked to the others of their own species. It's something that they feel they have to hide. So the humans usually pretend to be something other than what they really are towards the others of their own kind. This pretense is called 'personality'. Having gained personalities, parents train their children to also have personalities from a very early age, & so on it goes.

           "The humans, over the ages, develop all kinds of personalities. Some personalities are loud & external-oriented; these are the 'extra-verts'. Other personalities are quiet & internal-oriented; these are the 'intro-verts'.

           "Very rarely are there humans without personalites. The humans without personalities are usually ones who have realized their Unity with All; thus they have nothing to "hide". They are completely open to the Universe around them. They see the macrocosm in the microcosm & the microcosm in the macrocosm.

           "They are generally considered very abnormal or 'insane' by the other humans. The other humans actually secretly envy them, however. The only time most humans can discard their personalities, if at all, is rarely with very close friends or lovers, & that, only briefly.

           "It certainly adds a colorful variety to your Experience of the Cosmos. In an Infinite Labyrith of one lifetime after another, until you Wake Up, you experience being one personality after another. It's all for the Show:"

---

THE GRAND ARCANA OF PERSONALITIES

Dogstar is the Fool:

The village idiot lives out on the edge of the town.
He thrives on refuse thrown into the dump.
Children laugh at him & throw sticks & stones at him.
"I am what I am," says he.
"And I see what I see."

---

Dogstar is the Magician:

The Alchemist lives way up high in his tower.
His single light can be seen burning late into the night.
He is searching for the Secret of the Philospher's Stone.
He seeks Infinite Power, Infinite Knowledge, & Infinite Immortality.
He cackles in glee as he shakes the test tube.

---

Dogstar is the Oracle:

The High Seeress is up on a pedestal in an ancient time.
As she prophesizes what will be, they gather around & listen.
"They shall fly as birds," she predicts of a distant future.
"Their children shall see Visions of a Unified World."
"There shall be no disease among them; they shall live forever."
"They shall leave the earth & go to the stars."
"They shall be as gods."

---

Dogstar is the Empress:

The Queen is pregnant.
She is sitting in her garden gazing at the butterflies...
Taking nectar from the flowers.
She is female, but she wonders occasionally what it is like to be male.
She & the King have just made love in their private bedchambers...
Then parted to go their separate ways.
How huge & powerful was his throbbing organ as it went in & out
Of the depths of her interior.
How weak & flacid it was as soon as he had his pleasure.
Men have all the power & fun in this world, she thinks in scorn
"Balls! Balls!," says the Queen. "If I had any, I'd be the King!"
Yet, as she feels the growing embryo within her...
She realizes she has the greater power.
She has the Power of Life.

---

Dogstar is the Emperor:

The King sits way up high & mighty upon his throne...
Gazing out over his wide kingdom.
"They hate me," he realizes sadly, as he considers his subjects.
"They envy the power I have; they want to overthrow me."
"Yet do I not protect them from the barbaric enemy...
At the walls of our kingdom?" thinks his majesty in bitterness.
"Do I not keep Law & Order among their ranks?"
"Were it not for one such as me to keep them in line...
There would be veritable chaos!"
"The ingrates! I ought to have them all hanged!"

---

Dogstar is the Magistrate:

"You shall all go to Hell!" screams the preacher from his pulpit.
"You are all sinners!"
"You were born in sin; you shall die in sin!"
"Unless you return to the fold, ask the Lord for forgiveness...
& mend your ways according to the letter of the Law...
Which is in the Book of Holiness, you are surely damned!"

Someone is sitting in the back row, listening to all this...
Thinking what a con-artist he is.

---

Dogstar is the Lover(s):

The lovers lie embracing one another in the fields.
They have just made love like the beasts therein.
But they have no shame.
The sun is warm & the flowers smell so sweet.
"I love you," says he.
"I love you, too," says she.
They see one another as each other really is.
But it won't last.
It never does.

---

Dogstar is the Conqueror:

The Roman soldier hacks his way through the crowd, chopping right & left.
The crowd he is hacking through is a bunch of Christians.
The rebellion must be contained & thwarted...
All for the sake of Caesar, who rules far & wide.
They are weak, he thinks in contempt.
See how they refuse to defend themselves.

"I just want you to know," says one of the Christians...
Just before the blade strikes against her neck...
"No matter what you do, God still loves you."

The Roman soldier pauses.
Now, what, by Jupiter, did she mean by that?
Then he goes on with the slaughter.

---

Dogstar is Strength:

He is angry & embittered at the way the world is treating him.
He has just been laid off from his job today...
After twenty years of faithful service.
He wants to strike out at someone.
They live in the poorhouse.

But she knows how to calm him.
She strokes him & makes love to him...
Until his anger & bitterness is all gone.
She, tamer of lions, knows how to deal with his animal nature.

---

Dogstar is the Hermit:

The forest-dweller lives deep in the jungle.
Alone, he fasts & meditates & looks within for the Answer.
He sees that all things are a part of himself.
He perceives the Unity of All That Is.
He sees that he has discovered a Profound Truth.
He is not sure that any of the others will understand him.
But he must try; it is his duty to bear the Light, the Light of Consciousness.
It is in the Silence between the thoughts.
It is All That Is.

---

Dogstar is the Wheel of Forture:

The sleazy huckster spins the Wheel of Fortune.
He exhorts to all that pass by to gamble...
Their lives & their souls for the Eternal Goal.

Sometimes you go up.
Sometimes you go down.
But if you're gonna get anywhere, you've gotta take the risk.
After all, that's what the Game of Evolution is all about.
Life is the Ultimate Gamble.

---

Dogstar is Justice:

The prostitute does not turn anybody away.
She accepts within her all men of all sizes & shapes...
Of all persuasions, from all walks of life, rich & poor alike.
No value judgments does she put upon them.

While they are submerged within her, she looks into their souls.
She stares upwards at the ceiling with her legs raised high.
Little do they know that their souls are on the scales.

---

Dogstar is the Sacrifice:

"I am the Way & the Light & the Truth."
Thus spake the Master to his disciples...
Before he was led away to be crucified.

While they were nailing Him to the cross...
He shook His head sadly.
Whenever He comes, they never seem to understand.
When will they finally be ready?

"Father, forgive them, for they do not know what they do," spake He.

Meanwhile, a scribe is taking all this down...
Wondering what he REALLY means by all this.

The Sacrifice must go on.

---

Dogstar is Death:

It is the time of the Plague.
All must die, rich & poor alike, nobility & peasants alike...
The faithful & sinners alike.
No one is excepted by their status or beliefs.

The bodies keep piling up & piling up.

The mangled, disfigured grave-digger grins toothlessly.
Business is really booming this year.

---

Dogstar is Harmony:

The young girl runs barefoot along the summer stream.
The sun is rising behind the mountain.
She is so glad to be alive.
She points this way & a purple passion-flower appears.
She points that way & the multi-colored Bird of Paradise appears.

---

Dogstar is Knowledge:

Two scientists are gazing into a bubble-chamber.
For a split-millisecond, particles appear out of nowhere...
Then just as quickly disappear.
"This is incredible!" remarks one scientist.
"It is as if something were literally coming out of nothing!"
"Well," concedes the other scientist...
"I guess this proves that space isn't all as empty as we once thought it was."

---

Dogstar is Destruction:

Like the light of a thousand suns, everything flares up.
A great wind bursts outwards from the center...
& topples over all the skyscrapers as though they were mere children's toys.
Millions of megatons of energy is demolishing...
The work of hundreds of years of civilization in an instant.

The people partying on the topmost floor of the highest skyscraper...
Were drunk, high on cocaine, listening to blasting rock music...
& were well into having an orgy.

They never knew what hit them.

---

Dogstar is the Star:

At thrice times the speed of light, they are whizzing...
Through the hidden folds of space towards the star.
The star is a brilliant-blue & has two lesser companions:
One a dull red, the other an almost greenish-yellow.

They are sitting at the controls, getting high on this experience...
Watching it come closer, setting the coordinates to approach.

"Well, there she is at last," says one.
"Wow, what a beautiful star that is!"

"You know," says someone else, "This star here, Sirius...
"Was once called the 'Dogstar'.
"It was because it appeared to wander due to the trio of stars in it...
"An ancient civilization on Earth, the 'Egyptians'...
"Once worshipped this very star."

---

Dogstar is the Cold Dead Moon:

It is a city populated entirely by machines.
It is three o' clock in the morning on July 23, 2723.
The half-moon, a dead world like this one, is shining high above.
There are no wolves to howl at it this time.
They died out long ago.

The machines in the lifeless city continue automatically...
Working three shifts a day...
Doing amazing calculations...
Churning out thousands upon thousands...
Of remarkable, innovative products...
That other machines will automatically buy.

Human beings have been made obsolete hundreds of years ago.
They just weren't efficient enough.

---

Dogstar is Innocence:

Two kids are playing in a sandbox, a boy-child & a girl-child.
Idly, as the day wears on, they build sand-castles & knock them down again.
The sun is blazing above at the zenith...
Giving out lots & lots of light & heat, as usual.

The boy-child asks:
"You know, what do you suppose this whole thing is all about, anyway?"
The girl-child replies:
"Oh, I don't know. Just to be, I guess."

In the sandbox, they create new worlds...
Then just as whimsically destroy them again.

---

Dogstar is the New Age:

It is a new world.
Everybody lives with one another in perfect peace & harmony.
No one is afraid of one another anymore.
All problems are solved.
There is no more war.
There is no more hate.
There is no more pain.
There is no more death.
No one has to work anymore.
Now they can do whatever they want.
Everything is perfectly free.
People just sit around & mellow out.
It's what everybody wanted all along.

---

Dogstar is the Seeker:

The Seeker has been wandering for a long, long time now.
He is seeking for the Center of the Universe...
Where It all began billions & billions of years ago.
He is a half-a-million earth years old.
He is but a brain in a machine...
Which brings him information from the outer world...
& obeys his commands to manipulate things out there.
He is in suspended animation much of the time.
The ship wakes him up whenever there is something to see.

Alone, he entertains himself with reality-disks.
He plugs them into an interface into his brain...
& experiences all kinds of different worlds...
& even whole lifetimes as different creatures...
& a wide range of personalities.
But he has seen it all now.
He is a bit jaded...
It's getting to a point where he is experiencing re-runs all the time.
Sometimes he just shuts it off...
To experience his own mind-projections.
That's one of the problems about living forever...
It can get boring.

Now he is searching for the Ultimate Experience...
To see/experience what no mortal has ever seen before.
The coordinates are set for the Center of the Universe...
The fabled OM-POINT...
Where all the mind, energy, & matter comes from the Other Side.

At last, he is approaching his long-sought Goal.

There It is.

Thousands of embryo galaxies are still being hurled outwards...
Towards the Edge of the Universe.
How intense It is, how beautiful, how brilliant!
It was well worth waiting for.

The Seeker hears a strange, enchanting Music...
It is the Song of Creation.

He sets the ship at top speed now; he can't wait.
Like a moth plunging into the flame...
The Seeker zooms right into the Center of It All.
As everything he once was disappears back into the nothingness...
Where once arose the energy fields, atoms & molecules which compose him...
He suddenly realizes:

"I AM ALL THAT IS."

---

The Story of the Universe has ended.

The Show is over.

D.S. has Woken Up to discover that It/He/She was the whole She-bang all along.


It is at this instant that Dogstar becomes GODSTAR.


Everything has suddenly disappeared.

The Heavenly World has been destroyed in the Void.

There is a potent No-Thingness which contains All Possibilities.


We are at the Beginning, where anything can happen.

A Whole New Universe can begin here with completely different parameters.

Godstar is at the Master Controls.


Where is Llang Llong?, Godstar wonders.

Then Godstar realizes: HE is Llang Llong.

Llang Llong was His Inner Voice.

Llang Llong is His Innermost Self.


And Godstar, having realized his One & Only True Self, says:

"STOP THE WORLD."

Everything comes to an abrupt halt.

Godstar then re-programs the entire thing, then gets it going again.

At last, the Koan of Life is re-solved.

DOGSTAR IS BACK IN THE WORLD AGAIN

           Dogstar suddenly comes to, as if waking from a long, long dream.
           He is back in his old body again.
           His old body is still in the crosslegged position.
           It is spring outside the Cave.
           The birds are singing cheerfully.
           The Big One is now green with new growth, rather than white with snow as it was when he'd entered the caves a while(?) ago.

           Dogstar shakes his head in disorientation.
           Wow, now that was some Vision.
           He must have been here in some kind of suspended animation for weeks.
           Maybe he hit upon some method for keeping his body from freezing by a special yoga technique of retaining body heat.

           Dogstar gets up & stretches his legs after sitting for so long.
           The whole thing seemed to happen almost in an instant; it almost seems like just a few minutes ago, he was sitting in a freezing-cold Cave & chanting "OM".

           And yet, it's as if eternities went by, too.

           Dogstar walks out to the edge of the Cave & looks out over the view.
           He smiles as if for the first time in his life.
           What a beautiful world this is.
           And it was all made by himself for himself.

           And yet it was made by all others for the Totality of All.

           Well, he concludes, he better be getting on back.

---

EVERYTHING IS SLIGHTLY DIFFERENT

           Dogstar returns back to civilization.
           He finds that everything is just a little bit different from the way it was before.
           There's no more war, for one thing.
           Everybody he asked never heard of such a thing & were horrified when he described it.
           The towns are all smaller than they were before.
           People are a lot friendlier than they used to be.
           There are no longer any "No Trespassing" signs all over the place.
           There's no energy crisis anymore; just about everything runs on solar power.
           The machines are smaller than they were.
           They found a cure for cancer & old age.
           All the necessities of life are provided free for everybody; they somehow found a way for machines to do all the hard work without disturbing the environment.
           However, you can do something to contribute, if you want to.

           Dogstar volunteered for part-time overseeing automatic machines in photovoltaics factory.
           He signed on as a synthesizer player in a good local band.
           He wanted to compose & play the Music he heard during his Vision.
           He went around & told people about his Vision.
           They listened & nodded; they understood perfectly.

           The weather in this world is always nice & temperate.
           The birds always sing.
           Lovers are never parted.
           Everything is perfectly free & legal.
           People just sit around & mellow out.
           They do whatever they want to do.
           They create beautiful things.
           They alter their consciousness & enjoy the world.
           Everybody is perfectly happy.

           It is just the sort of world Dogstar & everybody else always wanted (but could not imagine).

           All they had to do was Re-Create it.

---

DOGSTAR RIDES AGAIN

           Well, folks, that just about brings us to the conclusion of this long, long story.

           We certainly hope you enjoyed it.

           Dogstar is riding again.

           This time, he is riding a three-wheeled motorbike, on which he can't possibly lose his balance, down the old High-Way.

           This new machine gets 120 m.p.g., goes up to 50 m.p.h., runs on methane gas, & has a solar-rechargeable battery which lasts 200 miles.

           Dogstar cruises along at a nice, slow speed, setting the bike on automatic drive.

           He smokes a joint & leisurely takes in the view.

           He doesn't have to worry about big trucks hitting him from behind or cops pulling him over for something, because, in this world, there aren't any.

           It's getting to be sunset now.

           Dogstar has just been riding around all day.

           He went up to some really big mountain a hundred miles to the north & rode up there & enjoyed a nice view.

           He plugs in a tape of his own composed & recorded music in the dashboard; yeah, he actually has a dashboard this time.

           He watches the sunset while riding along & gets into his own music.

           Maybe he'll camp out along the road somewhere around here.

           The old "Eat It & Run" joint is still hanging in there, a vestige from a previous world.

           U.F.O. beings from another planet fly low & cruise by, waving at this fellow Inter-Galactic Citizen of the Universe.

           Dogstar takes it all in & nods in complete satisfaction.

           He's got it just right this time.

           Dogstar is in Perfect Unity with all that he sees.

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