Chow Bing! Welcome to the first vendor review of the year 2000 (otherwise known to the less informed as the new millenium). I see that the food industry has found a way to solve their Y2K problems; they now simply print the month and day. If you have to guess what year it was purchased in, you'd better not eat it.
This weeks review:

Hostess Leopards

One constant in the snack food universe was the Twinkie; a simple yellow cake filled with a "creamy filling" (a byproduct of the early space exploration programs, as was velco and duct tape). Twinkies were brought to the height of popularity by the movie Die Hard, where a cop spouted off the ingredients list, including "Yellow Dye Number Five".

However, with the poor results of the sequels "Die Hard 2: Die Harder" and "Die Hard 3: Die Hard with a Vengence", the Twinkies profits suffered. The cop was not even in the last sequel.

So Hostess decided to spice up the old reliable by adding chocolate chips. That's right; Hostess Leopards are nothing more than Twinkies with chocalate chips.

So anyway, on to the test.

The first bite not only reminded me of the original Twinkie, but the chocolate actually brought me into the world of the Hostess Cupcake (another old standby) for just a moment. The best of both worlds.

The chocolate chips are more like chocolate blobs; not entirely solid; more mushy like. I assume this is intentional to emulate the texture of a chocolate chip right out of the oven. Nice try. No cigar.

Upon eating the last bite, I chewed on something firm. At first, I thought that maybe it was an actual solid chocolate chip (which would have been a nice suprise), but the "object" did not yield to increased pressure. Internal alarms started going off: "Intruder Alert! Non-chewable particle! Eject Maverick, Eject! Eject!"

I now have this "particle" sitting at my desk (seriously). It has the consistancy of a piece of hardened hot glue chunk. It's just not right. I'll see if I can get a picture of it up sometime soon. It's at my desk, so stop by.

Are there any documented court cases which sites foreign particles found in food, and then followed up with large amounts of money going to the plantiff? Seriously though, I probably won't be purchasing another Twinkie anytime soon.

Rating: I cannot give this one a rating, since it would be unfair to base my critisism on the one case where some foreign particle was found in my sample. I'm just bitter about the whole thing, and in my current state I'd probably give the damn thing negative 20 stars.

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