This weeks review:
Walking to the vending machine this morning, I noticed these. But how could I not? The bag is larger than average (about the size of a "Grab Bag"), is all Golden ('cause their Golden Russet...get it?), and features the beautiful artwork of Elizabeth Mumford, a Cape Cod artist known for her whimsical folk style. How do I know this? Because it's on the friggin' bag! This thing reads more like a tourist pamplet than a bag of chips! On the back, it's got more artwork and artist information, a letter from...whom knows!...it says "Steve and Lynn Bernard"...but like I know who these people are! For all I know, it's the frick'n janitors that sweep up left over potato chips at the end of the day and feed them to their bloated rat kids! Then it's got like factory tour information ("Honey, for vacation this year, should we go to Disney World, or...a potato chip factory in Cape Cod??? What am I saying?!?"), a map of where it is (although it gives you absolutely no reference point...for all I know, it could be down the street), and the usual bar code, ingredients, nutrient scale, and manufacturer's information fill the rest. Ah, here's the information in the Manufactured By section on page 3: Hyannis, MA. THAT'S dumb!
Anyway, I bother not with reading the laundry list of information in the back; I wanna eat! I open the bag, and it reveals a bunch of dark brown crumpled chips. You know how burnt potato chips have that brown "bullseye" look to them? That's what the bag is full of. They taste burnt, or at a minimum, over cooked. I reluctantly eat them. The potato chips are ok, if you like that burned flavor to them.
I don't.
Afterwards, I read the bible of information that exists on the back. In Steve and Lynn's letter, it says that they're SUPPOSED to be that way because "Russet potatoes [note the 'e' there Dan Quayle fans] unlike their round white cousins contain higher amounts of sugar and when cooked carefully will produce a darker, more robust chip...". So what they're really saying is "We purposely chose to use potatoes which are not typically used for pototo chips; that's why they SUCK!"
These should have been called "Cape Gawddd....Awful"
Rating: *