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* ADOPTIONOPOLY (TM) *
Adult Adoptees' Records Board Game
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It's the Board Game You Play in the Dark
CHANCE AND COMMUNITY CHEST CARDS
LIGHT BLUE:
disOrient Ave,
disConnected Ave,
Verboten Ave
MAUVE:
Urge-in-ya Ave
(or Origin Ave or Urchin Ave)
Procrastinates Ave (or Frustrates
Ave, or Waits Ave, or Confused States Ave)
Goose Chase
(or Churls' Place, or Essentials Place)
ORANGE:
Clue Hawk Ave
(or Few Talk Ave)
WannaSee? Ave (or
Tune-Us-In Ave)
Shame's Place
(or No Names Place)
RED:
InDenial Ave
Unlucky Ave
Ill-Informed Ave
(or Ill-Conceived Ave or Ill-Advised Ave)
YELLOW:
Frantic Ave
(or RANTic Ave )
Vent More Ave
Martial Guardians
(or Beggin' Pardons or Ma's Kin's Fog-ins)
GREEN:
Pacify Ave
Not-Gonna-Help-Ya Ave
Patronize-ya Ave
DARK BLUE:
Dark Space
Ward-Balk
MODIFIED OBJECTIVE:
Complete your search
before you go bankrupt.
PAY FOR:
Non-Identifying
Information,
Confidential
Intermediaries,
Private Investigators,
Court costs for access
to records,
Advertising costs
for newspaper ads,
Search costs (phone,
travel, on-line time)
Costs for political
action.
Instead of rent: Fees are charged for access to items of information.
There are all sorts of ways to get hosed for money!!!
HOTELS are made out of red tape.
(Hotels may be called Courthouses, or Vital
Statistics Offices)
HOUSES are windowless and leak-proof.
(Houses may be called Nurseries, Orphanages,
or Foster Homes).
BOARD MODIFICATIONS and their purpose:
Inclined, foil-shaped board:
(The game is never played straight or on
the level).
Board surface is not smooth: Lots of hills and
valleys, cliffs and abysses, and rough spots.
(CD-ROM version variation: from any point
to any other point is always uphill.)
In the interior of the board is a square:
"HOSPITAL MICROFILM ARCHIVE".
It is not accessible from anywhere!
Also in the interior are thirteen squares arranged in a circle. When COMMUNITY CHEST and CHANCE cards or other events make you go around and around in circles, this is where you do it.
Streets running through the interior of the board contain ADOPTIONOPOLY GROUPS.
The lights at key intersections are always red in both directions. If you
land at one you go nowhere until you roll doubles.
In addition to "Jail" and "Go to Jail":
"COURT" and "GO to COURT" or
"SOCIAL WORKER'S OFFICE" and "GO to SOCIAL WORKER'S
OFFICE".
(When you land on one of these or are sent to it, you have to go around the
board backwards during which no transactions except paying rent.)
Instead of Free Parking:
"LONG TERM PARKING".
In addition to GO:
"STOP" (Same rule as red-light intersections).
A new square called "SNOW JOB". If you land on it, you have to go around in circles (see above) until you've rolled a total of 99 (21 in some states).
CC: You have unknowingly married your sister.
PAY for full-dress production of "Oedipus Rex" ... $1000
CC: You develop an adult-onset genetic disease
which makes you ineligible for insurance.
CONGRATULATIONS: You are now entitled to full information.
PAY COURT COSTS: ... $400
CHANCE: You receive your non-ID information.
It says your B-Mom was sixty-three years old when you were born.
PAY for back issues of National Enquirer ... $50
CHANCE: You locate your birth certificate and full family history at
the records office of the American Kennel Club.
PAY for certification of your pedigree papers ... $75
CC: Your non-ID indicates you are an ORPHAN!
Your membership in the "Ungrateful Bastards Association" is cancelled.
COLLECT pro rata Refund ... $45
CHANCE: You buy a house on a dead-end street.
Unfortunately, it's dead-end in both directions.
PAY for Easement ... $1000
CC: Lawyer you've hired accomplishes nothing whatever, then loses your file.
PAY Lawyer's Bill: ... $250
PAY Photocopy Bill ... $50
CC: Social workers decide to "verify" info you found out yourself,
... you grind your teeth while you wait.
PAY DENTAL BILL ... $175
CC: After eight years' search you locate your B-Mom in Rangoon.
You learn she's had total amnesia for three years.
PAY TELEPHONE BILL ... $50
CC: You find reference to your case in old Court file.
It is their only recorded case of disputed maternity.
PAY for double martini at nearest bar... $6
CC: Your A-Family puts a heavy guilt-trip on you for searching.
PAY Psychiatrist's Bill: ... $500
CC: You land a job as Social Worker at an Adoption Agency.
NOW *YOU* GET TO STACK THE DECK!!
CHANCE: You take the Meyers-Briggs Test and score 'XXXX'.
COLLECT for services as psychological research subject ... $????
CHANCE: The desk at the AAC conference can't find the record of your Advance
Registration.
COMPROMISE: They'll allow you to stay outside, looking in.
PAY for high-power binoculars ... $250
CHANCE: LEGISLATIVE CHANGE CARD Your State politicians have acknowledged
that "Access to Adoption Records Laws" in other jurisdictions have not destroyed
the adoption process. They vow to bring a bill to the floor in the current
legislative session.
GO DIRECTLY TO "GO"
CHANCE: THE EVIL ACT CARD Bill Pierce and Adoption Agencies have lobbied
and won. The EVIL ACT was passed in your State. It is now a felony to search
for biological relatives and adoption records have been sealed for 99 years.
GO DIRECTLY TO "JAIL"
CHANCE: THE SANDY MUSSER CARD You have been caught fraudulently accessing
sealed adoption records. You're BUSTED!
GO DIRECTLY TO JAIL AND MISS YOUR NEXT 99 TURNS.
CHANCE: THE ADVERTISING CARD You finally obtained your birth name and continued
your search by mailing out 100 letters to people with your last name. Nobody
replied.
PAY $100
CHANCE: THE MEDIA CARD The media has heard about your adoption search story
and they're all clamoring for an interview with you.
MISS YOUR NEXT TURN WHILE YOU WATCH YOURSELF ON TV
CHANCE: THE COURT CARD You filed to get access to your adoption records under
the "show good cause" provision of your State Adoption Act. You lose the
case.
PAY $200
CC: THE UBA CARD The Ungrateful Bastards Association acknowledges your
lobbying
efforts to bring about access to adoption records in your State.
COLLECT $200
CC: THE EMMA MAY VILARDI CARD You have just been notified by ISSR that they
have a match in their reunion registry with one of your birthparents. Pack
up all your files and go have a reunion.
PAY $100 IN TRAVEL EXPENSES TO YOUR REUNION THEN
ADVANCE TO "GO" AND BEGIN YOUR SEARCH FOR YOUR OTHER BIRTHPARENT.
Additional Chance/Community Chest card topics:
Bureaucrats: Institutions, Agencies, etc.
"Lies",
"Stonewalls"
"Stalls",
"Runarounds"
Records:
"Lost",
"Not retained so long",
"Destroyed in a fire",
"Forwarded to (institution or agency long defunct)"
It isn't possible to get the true flavor of the Adoptionopoly experience by just going around the board. You have to turn into the interior and wend your way through it. These are some of the twists you'll encounter when you do.
NON-ADOPTEE GROUP:
Urchin Alley
Rejection Lane
Waif's Corner
PRIVATE ADOPTION GROUP:
Inertia Drawbridge [Always Up]
Obfuscation Tunnel
Secret Money Underpass
ADOPTION AGENCY GROUP:
Hypocracy Viaduct
Non-Accountability Freeway
Coverup Circle
SEALED RECORDS GROUP:
Sophistry Alley
Groundless-Fear Street
Rumor Mill Road
CONDESCENDING BUREAUCRATS GROUP:
Verification Cul de Sac
Forever-a-Child Park
Metered Crumbs Lane
ATTORNEY GROUP:
Greed Crescent
Cynicism Mews
Venality Way
ARCHIVES (a.k.a. Railroads):
Hospital Archives
Foster Care Archives
Adoption Agency Archives
Child Welfare Archives
NON-UTILITIES
CI procedures
Government managed registries
Analysis and
Insight - Original Essays on a Variety of Topics
Original Song
Lyrics by Jonathan Marin