Gawain, Uncensored



Sir Gawain was the yardstick by which all of Arthur’s knights measured their valour, a paragon of courage and chivalry, the first to tell Arthur of Merlin’s wish that they depart to the Four Corners of the Earth in search of the Holy Grail, a faithful servant of God, King and country. Yet, legend has it that on the night before the Grail Quest was to commence, the noble Gawain was found completely intoxicated lying against the wall just outside the scullery, wearing a hair shirt and making tooting noises on two small potion bottles trying to accompany himself while butchering the words to Greensleeves. The court chronicler is to have found him just as he belted out the final chorus. With a memory sharp and sober, he transcribed this new set of lyrics, to be published only after it was established that Gawain would forever be known as <b>The Best Knight</b>.

This “alternate” set of lyrics are as follows:

“Greensliths yer hair’s on fire
Yer dressth isss torn
Yerrr dawg’s gone off somewhereeesss
Greeeeensleeeephlvs you nastyyy *hic*
La, daaa, daaa dum dee da….grennnslivs…
‘Twas my delithhe... …*oops*…dee dee daaaaaaaaahhh...”


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