The Marriage of Kate and Joel

Pre-wedding and Rehearsal.

Kate & Joel's Wedding Summary
Bensenville, Chicagoland, Illinois, USA
(Modified from an original post to alt.wedding and soc.couples.wedding)

I, Kate, am a currently-unemployed teacher-type person, and Joel's a full-time library tech-services-type person, so that made planning really fun. Luckily, being unemployed gave me plenty of time to plan, run errands, and pick people up.

Mom (and Dad, and my cousin / junior bridesmaid Natalie) arrived on Tuesday night. I'd been a wench the entire previous week, but the second they showed up, everything was fine. Yaaaaaaay. Good moms do wonderful stuff.

Wednesday morning, Mom showed me the purplish-blue dress she'd bought from Nordstrom, and the small dress that our good friend Carolyn from church back home had sewn for Natalie. Joel's sisters, Sarah and Rebecca, had made BM dresses for themselves and for my MOH Heather, from McCalls pattern 8635 view B, in royal windsor satin (shiny bodice, crepe skirting, lace seams on sleeves and waist). Since Natalie was in Maryland and we were in Illinois, it was easier to have them buy a pattern we'd found in a fabric shop, and mail our leftover fabric out there. Luckily, the dress ended up looking almost the same, wheee! Hard to do that for a bunch of ladies in their 20's and 30's and a 9-year-old. All of the BM shoes were Kinney's crepe dyed shoes with 1.5" Louis heel, except Natalie's were more like Mary Janes with a strap across the toes.

I don't remember what else we did on Wednesday. I think Mom and I went around doing stuff with Natalie, while my dad went off to the train shop. Oh, yes I do! We had to do my final fitting, so mom and Jen (our Best Man's wife, and an honorary BM after all of this) and Natalie and I went up to the shop to do the fitting and see how the bustling was done. We'd also talked about needing to get button-down shirts for the makeup on Saturday, and Mom and Natalie didn't have them! So we went shopping here and there. We bought a "trousseau" for Joel after we saw from packing that he needed new pants and shirts and undies and socks, so Mom and I bought those, and I later hid them in his suitcase.

Then we went to a Big Kmart near where Jen and Dave used to live, to get the darn button-down shirts! It was at this point that our Photographer, Phil, was finally able to page me, so I was on the pay phone outside the Kmart for about 15 minutes getting everything straight. Mom had checked out and pulled up the car and they were waiting for me. Just as we were about to go, who walked past us but Best Man Dave! Jen ran after him, giggling, "That's my husband!" and we all said hello after Dave shook off the shock of seeing us there. -grin- So Jen drove ] home with her hubby, Mom dropped herself and Natalie off at the hotel, and I drove back home and went to bed. Little did I know it would be my last day in my own bed for almost two weeks!

Thursday was the busy day. First, we moved my parents and Natalie out of the Extended StayAmerica in Elmhurst into the Courtyard by Marriott in Wood Dale. Next, lunch! We wanted to thank the parentals for paying for the reception, so we took them out to eat at J. Alexander's in Oakbrook. Great steak and huge salads, and funky pasta. Good wine, and huge desserts!!! We were soooo full. Afterwards, we checked to see if my Aunt Deb (Natalie's Mom) had arrived at the StayAmerica yet; she hadn't. We left a message and headed for the airport.

Way back in high school, I'd had a Japanese foreign exchange brother, who was a senior while I was a freshman, way back in 1987-1988 or so. His name was Shingo, and he'd been back to the states to see us about 5-6 times since he "graduated," including coming to the US for job training in the Chicago suburbs the same week I'd graduated from grad school in Chicago. So, he was arriving with his Japanese mother, who was *very* interested in seeing Shingo's "American Mom!" We hadn't quite communicated that we were going to try to pick them up at O'Hare. My dad pulled up (blocking traffic) as Joel and I ran in to try to find them. Luckily, I spotted them just as they were getting on the elevator! So we caught them! We said a quick hello, got them out to dad (who was still blocking traffic!), and sent them down to the Palmer House Hilton Hotel where they were staying in downtown Chicago. Mom said they had a lovely afternoon there, and had tea downstairs.

Meanwhile, we were picking up my net.friend Clara. There's a mailing list which we affectionately call the Elitist Bastards, and she's one of us. We've met plenty of times over the past three years, starting when she was out in DC for school and I was on break, and culminating in a few visits through Chicago from Colorado, both by plane and in car. Anyway, she had a rental car, so we figured we'd ride back with her (since Dad's car had 5 people in it! Squish!). We caught her arrival, did car-rental things together, and eventually got her situated at the Wood Dale Courtyard Hotel.

By this time it was near bachelor(ette) party time, so Clara and Joel and I piled into my car and drove over to the Bloomingdale house of Jen and Dave, our best man, who had put up Rich and Heather (GM and MOH) and Sean (GM) for the past few nights. Dave had just gone with the other two guys to Gingiss Formalwear at Stratford Square Mall in Bloomingdale do tux stuff. We'd gotten them dark blue vests with peak lapel tuxes (dads had grey vests, Joel had white vest and tailcoat). Anyway, Joel was sent off with Heather to get his tux while Jen and Clara and I tried to figure out how we'd get to the bridal shop to get my dress, get it to the hotel, and then get back to their place! We told the guys to meet back at the house and start their leg of stuff when they were ready, while Clara and I did dress stuff and Heather and Jen got organized and would meet us at the hotel.

Clara and I finally got up to the bridal shop-- Marrilee Bridal in Arlington Heights. I had ordered an Alfred Angelo plain A-line gown (style 402, short sleeves, silver bodice pearls and beading, NO butt bow!), and a Bel Aire veil (lots of pearls and beading on the headpiece, fingertip length with rolled edge and little pearls here and there, poof in the back). The dress had been pressed after the previous night's bustling / fitting, so we just needed to pick it up and sign for it. I'd also gotten about 3 pages on the half-hour drive, so I used the phone while Clara (also an honorary BM by this point!) helped get the darn thing arranged in my car. One page was from Deb, who had missed my parents at the StayAmerica, missed them at lunch, was now at the Courtyard, and wanted to know where her daughter Natalie was. Actually, she wanted the number of the Gingiss tux place so she could try to meet my parents there, but since they would be closing in less than an hour, I advised her to just stay put (where she'd been for about 3-4 hours) and leave messages at both hotels.

Clara and I got the dress to the Courtyard, and put it in my parents' room (for which the hotel had thankfully given me a spare key). We met Deb and Jen and Heather, who had been chatting. We then headed out for the Bachelor(ette) party!

Sean had had the awesome idea of taking the guys to the House of Blues, but there'd only been the three of them and Joel, and me, Heather, and Jen. So they decided to do things together! Before we got there, they had given Joel his "be prepared" gifts-- a box of condoms and a really awesome multi-function pocket-knife-tool thing. We arrived with Clara in tow (thankfully, I'd convinced her to come along), and had tons of good food and lots of cornbread. Clara and Jen and Heather totally hit it off, and much fun (and much food!) was had by all.

Afterwards, the guys took Joel out to Dave & Buster's, which is sort of like a Chuck E. Cheese's for adults-- VR games, pool, darts, arcade stuff, and drinks. Meanwhile, we dropped Clara and Jen off at the hotel (Jen drove home), while Heather and I got the final surprise ready.

See, Dave's bach night ended with a stripper-- his lovely wife Jen. So he and Heather and I thought it would be fun to do the same for Joel. They got us a room at the local Holiday Inn in Elmhurst, and snuck up a huge paper-covered box and some wine and cheese and strawberries and whipped cream (chilling in the sink). So, I got changed and we waited for Dave to call up. When he did, we told him we were ready, got me into the box through the back, and Heather scooted to hide in the laundry room around the corner. I later learned that they just sent Joel up in the coincidentally-just-opened elevator, with his knife-tool and the condoms. Poor guy didn't know *what* to expect. So he almost had a heart attack! He opened the paper, said "Oh, it's you. Hi there!" with a small smile on his face, and helped me out the back. We just listened to music for a while, talked about what else the guys had done with / to him, and then went to sleep. It was really nice-- he got a "stripper" to pop out of a box a la the traditional parties, and we had a nice quiet night together.

Oh, and we weren't 100% prepared-- neither the tool nor the wine came with a bottle opener. Oops!

We slept in Friday morning, and called Clara to see if she wanted to have breakfast with us. Dave and Heather had offered to pick us up, but Clara was so much *closer* that it was no contest. So we called, and Mike Z (another Elitist Bastards listperson) answered the phone. So, we invited both of them over. We had a lovely breakfast of cereal and bagels at the Holiday Inn, and then drove back to the hotel. We also made sure my parents knew that we were okay! They'd eventually caught up with Deb, as well as getting Dad's tux and picking Carolyn and Rich Kunst up from the airport, so all was well.

While my parents were going to be meeting up with Mom's parents and other relatives, we were going to be meeting up with net.people. Clara and Mike Z were around, and Sarah H and Andrew (a Brit who was working in the US for the summer and staying with her) drove over from Sarah's parents' house. Sarah decided to hang out at the hotel and wait for everyone else to show up. Joel and I checked in at my place and then we all met up at the hotel and drove over to the airport. Stacey and Joe arrived on time at O'Hare, around noon. Hosun had overslept and missed his flight (which we knew from email and voicemail). We then had a nice lunch at one of the cafeteria-style O'Hare restaurants which *hadn't* closed at 1:00 on the dot, and went over to the international terminal to pick up Jean-David Lanz, a French guy who some of us knew from the net and whom I'd met in person in Paris when I did my study- abroad vacation tour with my parents in 1994. We waited for a while for him to show up, and eventually he did!

We then went back to the hotel and tried to gather anyone else who'd shown up. Sarah and Kay and Robin had gotten together and gone out for lunch. Jacob had also arrived. We got most people checked in and then Joel, I, Jacob, Andrew, Joe, Stacey, and JD went to see Small Soldiers. Mike Z finally realized that we and the movie theatre weren't anywhere near the actual city of Chicago, so he went to read a book, and Clara took a much-deserved nap. While we were all at the movie, Hosun paged me, trying to get an airport pickup. I called him and was able to get him to take a cab.

We dropped everyone off at the hotel afterwards, just in time to see my parents and her parents and the rest of the Wisconsin contingent heading off for the church. Aieee! Joel and I went home to get official wedding papers, plates and napkins, guestbook and pen, programs, rings, ribbon bouquets, all that stuff, as well as the coupons for the pizza. Then we had to call to confirm the pizza delivery, and pick up the sub for the rehearsal dinner. We were *so* late getting the sub, and then we couldn't make a left turn out of the parking lot! We waited for about five full minutes, trying to turn through Friday evening rush-hour traffic. Oops. So we got to the rehearsal 15 minutes late.

The rehearsal and wedding were at Zion Lutheran Church in Bensenville. It was weird when we got there-- *Everyone* was just sitting there waiting for us. We'd dropped the subs and plates in the hallway and just went in. I was so overwhelmed that I just went around to all of the grandmothers and various older relatives and wedding party participants, and just slowly hugged everyone. Joel's Aunt Bonnie was making our pew bows, our usher guys were chatting, et cetera. We eventually started the rehearsal, at which point the pizza arrived and Jen and Heather asked what kind of pop we'd gotten and where we'd put it. Ooooops-- guess what else we were supposed to get while picking up the sub? Dad tipped the pizza guy, and Jen and Matt (usher) were drafted for doing all the setup and stuff while Pat (usher) and his wife Megan volunteered to fold our programs.

We started the rehearsal by exiting, which was fun. We had to make sure everyone was in place, and then he and I recessed. Joel's dad played the organ and everyone stood and sung what they knew of "God of Grace and Glory" and I just about burst into tears. Then, we lined up for the processional stuff, and when Dad and I went down and everyone stood again, I *really* almost cried. I was kinda teary, but not bawling. We did it a few more times, Pastor Jay asked if we had questions, and everyone just sat there for about 15 minutes. Finally, we led everyone in the common table prayer and got the heck out of there into the lounge. Food!

We had six pizzas (2 Sicilian, 4 large) from Pizza Hut in Bensenville, and 4.5 feet of sub (3 varieties) from Subway in Bensenville. Goooood food! We ate and ate, and just relaxed and chatted. Most people left Joel and I alone at our table, thankfully! We were *so* tired! Eventually, we heard that a few people had brought presents to the dinner, so we finished eating, got the table cleared off, and opened gifts. The best one was from Joel's Aunt's and Grandma's dear friend Norma, who had a small watercolor his mom had done about ten years ago. We both were speechless, and got a little misty at that. It was just really special.

Eventually we got everyone packed up, and the presents were taken back to my parents' room. Someone had made a suggestion to go to the jacuzzi at the hotel, so we decided that an hour in nice warm water would be just the ticket. We donned suits and towels, and walked past the room of our net.friends, who had met up with most of the strays and had gone to a local Edwardo's for pizza. We finally got to the pool area, and *everyone* was there! All of my Ohio relatives, my aunt, our Japanese relatives, tons of friends. You name it, they were there. I think of 35 people down there, 30 were wedding guests!

Natalie was with Deb, so I stayed with mom and dad in the main room pull-out couchbed. Joel went and slept at home. The bed was kinda lumpy, and I was just a smidge nervous, but I didn't have too much trouble actually falling asleep.

Next: Part II - The Wedding Day (Saturday)

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