The Marriage of Kate and Joel

The Wedding Day.

Kate & Joel's Wedding Summary
Bensenville, Chicagoland, Illinois, USA
(Modified from an original post to alt.wedding and soc.couples.wedding)

I didn't have trouble falling asleep, but I didn't have trouble waking up, either! I woke at 5:00 am, rolled over time and time again until approximately 6:00, and then threw on some shorts and shoes and a sweatshirt jacket, and wandered downstairs. Why fight it? The morning was beautiful, and the air was still cool. I stuck my nose outside and sat in a sunbeam for a few minutes. It felt wonderful.

I walked back inside and grabbed a paper from the front desk, and read it while watching some weird version of CNN on the tv in the smoking lounge. Breakfast wasn't open yet, but I wasn't ready to eat anyway. Around 6:30 or so, when breakfast *did* open, I wandered back upstairs and decided to rest for another hour or so.

Around 7:00 am, my dad appeared from my parents' room and did his usual morning stuff. We woke Mom up eventually, and headed downstairs. Deb and Natalie came down at about the same time, so we all had breakfast together in the hotel breakfast area. I swear, they had a five-person table by the breakfast bar just for us! My beauty stuff started at 9:00, so we finished up, changed into our button-down clothes, and gave the car keys to dad so he could do guy stuff while we took my car to the salon.

We got to Eddie Caruso's Day Spa in Bloomingdale around 9:00, with Mom being kind enough to drive Natalie and I around. My stuff started with makeup by Lynda, followed by hair and veil by Lynda, and then my nails. Lynda did an *awesome* job with my hair!!! She pulled my hair into a topknot ponytail, but a mini-scrunchie/elastic on it, then put my veil headpiece on/around it. At that point, she took the curling iron and made tons of tiny little ringlets, placing them over and behind and above the headpiece of the veil. I swear, I looked like a Greek goddess when she was done.

Mom had started with nails while I did makeup, then had her hair done. At this point, it was almost 10:00-- time to start on Natalie's hair and to do my nails. Mom went out to check and see if Heather had arrived while I started my French manicure. Sure enough, she was in the chair in the next room, and Sarah and Rebecca had arrived as my mom was looking for Heather. It was great that they were early! They each had their hair done differently-- Natalie's in sort of a triple braid, Heather in a more traditional French twist, Sarah in a modified French twist with curls, and Rebecca with the funkiest, most awesome updo I've ever seen. Her hairdresser just sort of looped her hair around the back in these huge loops. Each also got her makeup done-- that was my gift to my bridesmaids, because Heather had done so for us when I was in her wedding, and I loved feeling so pampered!

While all of this was going on, Dave had gone to Joel's house to pick Joel up. They all met at Dave's house in Glendale Heights, where Joel was able to relax with Jen and Dave's new 3-week old black kitten asleep in his lap. :) Since Dave's vest hadn't fit on Thursday, they had to order him a new one which was backless but in a similar design. I actually never noticed! Anyway, they drove past the Spa on the way to the Gingiss store at the mall, and they waved hello to us. : )

I was still drying my nails when Heather and Sarah and Rebecca were finished with their hair, so Heather went back to the hotel to see her hubby Rich, and do lunch. Sarah and Rebecca went off on some secret errand-- they didn't want to tell me, because they didn't want me to be worried or anything, hah!-- and said they'd meet back at the hotel by 1:00 pm.

Mom and I finally got my nails semi-dry (I was stuck in front of the dryer for an hour and they were *still* soft! Ack!), and she helped me pull out my credit card and figure the tip. We then got me situated in the car, with the veil sort of behind me, and with Natalie sitting behind Mom so she wouldn't accidentally kick or tear the veil. We drove most of the way back to the hotel, stopped at the McDonald's in Addison on Lake Street, and tried to eat double cheeseburgers and fries without ruining our lipstick or nails. It's tougher than it seems.

We arrived at 1:15, and started getting me changed. I didn't have huge amounts of problems, as Heather had brought over the girl's dresses and was helping me and Natalie get changed. Dad was getting his tux on as we got everything together. Knock! Jen Bauder was here! Jen and Heather helped me get into my shoes (royal blue Mary-Jane style Doc Martens), stockings, jewelry and dress. 1:30. Phonecall! The flowers were here! We'd had our flowers done by Addison Floral in Addison, and Gus had done some of her finest work for us! Just beautiful. Knock! Flowers were at the door! I came into the main room, and Dad and Jen helped bring the flowers into the side bedroom.

At this time, I realized that Jen was wearing Dave's fraternity pin. I was supposed to have Joel's pin for him to wear, but it was somewhere in the apartment. Jen volunteered to drive over and get it, but that would mean she'd have to drive there, find it, bring it back, and then somehow get it to Dave or Joel before the ceremony. Ack! Jen, being Jen, offered to let us use Dave's pin. So we did-- she got Dave's pin to Heather, who got it to Rich, who got it to Joel! Yay! No crisis!

Phonecall! Phil the photographer was downstairs, but we weren't ready for him yet. Ack! Knock! Sarah and Rebecca finally showed up and started getting changed. While they and Mom were getting ready, we got some of the flowers out, moved the furniture so we'd have a lot more room, and called Phil upstairs.

At this point, it was about 2:00, and we were running late. Phil was from Grabari Studios in Roselle. He came in, and started by taking photos of me with my flowers, then me with Heather and then Natalie, and finally with me and my parents. He then popped his head into the next room, where Sarah and Rebecca had finished changing. What did he find there, but the fruits of S & R's "secret errand"-- the chains and pearls and stuff for making their necklaces! Aaaaack! Phil took Jen and Rebecca's photo. :) We got the two bridesmaids to pose for a few individual and group shots, while Jen dilligently worked on the beads. (If you haven't guessed, Jen became my honorary bridesmaid with all of her dedication and patience and love, and if I'd known her as well when I picked bridesmaids, she would have been up there in royal blue.) And Phil took yet more photos. Wheee!

Phonecall! The limo was here! It was about 2:45 by now, and the girls had finished the necklaces, so they gathered their things and went down to the car. We got the limo from Naperville Chauffeurring, where Jen worked, so we knew they were good. While the BMs went over and Jen got Rich and headed for the church, and Mom drove Dad's car over and met her parents and the guys, my dad helped me fold up my veil for walking about, and he and Phil and I waited for the limo to return.

I wasn't nervous at all. I was getting antsy waiting for the limo, as it would take 10-15 minutes to get them to the church and another 10-15 minutes to get back to the hotel. Finally, phonecall! It was now 3:15 or so. Dad helped me get in, got in himself, and we had a nice drive. It was fun watching people arrive once we got there-- there was a huge line outside, so we sat and waited until the guestbook-signing was basically finished. The ushers had seated my grandparents immediately (due to the heat), and later seated Joel's grandparents. As I arrived, strains of Jesu, Joy of Man's Desiring filled the air. It was awesome. Joel's dad did an incredible job.

Matt and Pat saw me arrive in the narthex, so Pat seated my mom and came back, and the guys together got the white runner at the front and rolled it back (thank goodness we got 50' instead of the 75' we'd originally ordered-- it ran out *just* as it reached the last pew!). Heather and Sarah and I made them crack up-- they were so serious, walking in exact step and arm-swing, that we couldn't help it. They lost it. We were joking in line, and I went to sign my and Dad's names, but then the church bells rang! The guys filed in from the front, and Pat and Matt stepped in front of Dad and I so Joel couldn't get any quick glimpses of his bride. : )

We processed to a harpsichord-sounding version of the Prince of Denmark March. I later saw from the videotape that Natalie went over to sit with my mom, and was then pointed in the direction of the railing up at the altar. Oops! : ) It looked really cute. As each of the BMs came to the altar steps, the GM met her, took her arm and escorted her up to the other side of the railing, gave her a program, and went to his side. The programs listed out the congregation's parts of the service, so they were kind of important!

Suddenly, it was my turn to walk! Our ushers stepped apart, and I saw Joel clearly. He was *beaming*, his blonde hair shining in the light, his smile quiet yet confident. Everyone stood. I couldn't take my eyes off of him. I tried to slow down, but I didn't *want* to! Dad was to my right, so he kissed Joel on the cheek, gave him some words of blessing, put our hands together, and tried not to trip on my veil. My groom took my hand and put it in his elbow, and we walked to the top of the stairs, to the head of the altar. We weren't sure what to do with our hands, so we just sort of stayed as we were, hand in elbow! Hey, it worked.

Pastor started with the invocation and exhortation to marriage, and a summary of key biblical teachings. Joel's Aunt Bonnie (who had made our pew bows for us, and attached them before the service), read the Hahn family verse, Joshua chapter 24, verses 14-15 (As for me and my family, we will serve the LORD!). We, she, Joel's dad, Dad's parents, and Dad's Dad's parents had all used that same Bible verse ! So we are the fourth Hahn generation to use that verse. *Too* cool. Jen Bauder was our second reader, and she read from the Song of Songs, chapter 8, verses 6-7 (Place me like a seal over your heart...). At that point, I sort of squeezed Joel's elbow, and we stole sidelong glances at each other. After that, Joel's dad led the congregation in Psalm 128 (Happy is everyone who fears the LORD), with him chanting one full verse, and the congregation chanting the next full verse. It was amazingly cool.

Now it was time for the homily. Pastor Jay Frazell gave one of the most awesome sermons ever. It was all about choices: the choices we'd made to get together, the choices we'd made to celebrate the marriage, "the choice of where to go afterwards to regain your sanity" (that one got the biggest laugh!), and the choice to continually allow Christ to be a part of our lives. It was humorous, sincere, and perfect. After the homily, Aunt Deb played her original piano piece, Wings of Angels. It was an amazing piece, light and powerful at the same time. While she was playing, I noticed the book-holder on the altarpiece-- it was given as a 50th wedding anniversary tribute, from two people who were married at Zion back in the 1920s or so. Too cool.

After the piece, we had the congregation "We will" of support, and our vows and ring exchange. My ring went on just fine, but Joel's didn't quite make it, so I hid that hand with both of mine. Heather tried to hand my bouquet back, but Pastor wouldn't let her! Her wrists must've really ached. Her husband Rich and Joel's sister Sarah went down to sing/accompany the Wedding Prayer, which Joel adapted from Mozart's Isis and Osiris piece. Again, the music was beautiful.

Pastor said the prayers, at which point Heather was relieved of the bouquet, and we received the benediction. Joel's dad played the intro to God of Grace and Glory, we turned around, and exited as the whole congregation sang the verses. We were smiling as we reached the end of the aisle, paused in the narthex, and stole a few quick kisses as man and wife.

Eventually, we came back to earth and spread ourselves out on the front lawn of the church. The receiving line took a *long* time, but we got a chance to see *so* many people who we hadn't seen in ages! It was a blast to see how cool everyone looked in their good clothes.

After the rather uneventful receiving line, we and the wedding party all went back inside for photos. Luckily, it was still pretty cool in the church. Phil snapped a few shots of the families and attendants, and we let them scoot off to the reception. We took a few more shots of just ourselves, including one with the wedding banner that Joel's godfather had made.

I then got to wait outside with the limo while my dear husband had to rearrange all of the banners in the church for the next day's service! Ugh! We forgot to visit his mom's grave, which I didn't realize until after I got to the reception much later. Also, when Joel climbed in to the limo, he didn't wait for me to scoot over, and so tripped and hit his head on the inside! Ouch! Luckily, the only damage was to one corner of his eyebrow and to a few stray flowers. I kissed it and made it better, and we drove over to the reception hall.

Our reception was at the Alta Villa in Addison, in the Venice room. They'd already set everything up for us, and were nearing the end of the cocktail hour. Luckily, Mom and Dad and Dad had tons of time to socialize and relax. We sent Joel after my mom, who took her time, as I gathered Jen and Heather for the Great Bustling. Luckily, the three of them were able to do the darned thing up in the big bathroom that the hall provided right across from the room. I also discovered that it is much quicker, less messy, and less icky to just unzip and step OUT of the darned gown if you need to use the bathroom-- no tulle in the way, no risk of dropping the train in the toilet, and no need for your mom or MOH to do tissue duty. Everyone was *much* happier with my solution, and it went very quickly.

Once that was done, the hall managers and the DJ got us in line. They announced each parent or attendant as they came in and got a balloon, and we got them last, and then cut a ribbon in front of an archway as everyone released the balloons (which all popped against the ceiling). What noise! It was a blast! We then settled down for our meal and a lot of fun.

Our menu was pretty simple, but very tasty. We had passed hors d'oeurves at the cocktail hour, made of cheese cubes, meatballs, egg rolls, chicken nuggets, and pizza bread. I hear it was yummy. : ) The apptetizers were minestrone soup and a garden salad with three dressings. The main meal was boneless breast of chicken in wine sauce, accompanied by green beans almondine and double-baked potatoes (mmmmh!). This was served with rolls and butter, white wine and white zinfandel wine, and any coffee, milk, or water you might want. We also had a spaghetti with marinara sauce for our vegetarian friends (who indicated their prefs on their RSVP cards, mostly. Some forgot, even when we'd asked many times over email, and had to make do...). Dessert came after-- vanilla ice cream with a bowl of hot chocolate sauce passed around the table, then our white raspberry-and-creme-filled wedding cake about an hour later (courtesy of the Italian Bakery on Lake Street in Addison, who work with the Alta Villa to make their wedding creations).

During the whole dinner, we had people clinking on glasses. I glared, or Joel and I just ignored them. Or gave them confused looks. Or struck up conversations with Dave or Sarah (to our left and right). Or eventually just smiled and shouted out NO! When people semi-called-out to us in protest, we said that we'd kiss when we wanted to, we already had been kissing quite a few times, and it wasn't *our* fault if they weren't paying attention! Just to be rude, we'd kiss for a long time until they started to clink, and then would totally pull apart. Our guests were both amused and frustrated, but the wedding party all had a blast confusing them. A few times our MOH and her GM husband (Rich and Heather) kissed for us, or Sarah started to clink her glass only after we'd kissed. At one point, we all sang along to the glass-clinking, led by Sean, in our rendition of the Chili's restaurant "Baby Back Ribs" song.

Our DJ was Dave Apmann from Great Lakes Entertainment in Buffalo Grove. We saw the owner, Chuck Weissmueller, DJing a friend's wedding about two years ago, and he and Dave were both very friendly and very helpful in music selection, answering questions, giving advice, and the like. The music Dave played was just amazing. Strains of classical music wafted through the room during our dinner courses, and all of our music-fraternity groomsmen and Joel's music-loving family were constantly exclaiming their joy at hearing a favorite piece, or frustration at not being able to remember the name of another familiar sonata. Many, many compliments there.

Of course, we had the obligatory toasts, from our Best Man Dave, who tried to retell the tale of our meeting (and got it wrong-- there's NO way you can fit 8 people into a car that size!), from my Dad, who was just amazingly sweet, and from my grandfather, who called himself the Patriarch of the Family (he's the only remaining grandpa), and just gave a really cool toast.

During the first dessert portion, Joel and I tried to visit tables, and Phil came over to get some table shots of the tables with parents and grandparents. We felt kind of rushed, because we spent a lot of time on one side and not enough on the other. We also had Dave and Phil and the staff poking at us to get the cake cut, so they could get it all served before the end of the evening! So we cut the cake, and had a grand time trying to do it with a straight face.

Next, it was time for the dances. The lights were lowered, and my dad and I took the floor. We danced to the first half of Louis Armstrong's What a Wonderful World, and Joel "cut in" to dance the second half with me. It was very sweet. Chuck had advised us to add another slower bit before jumping into the fun music, so we had the wedding party start dancing with us to Dream a Little Dream, with the rest of the guests coming onto the floor halfway through. Both of those tracks were off of a Louis Armstrong Best-Of CD from Joel's library, so that made it pretty easy to do those songs! At that time, Rich and Sarah got on the floor and were swinging and being sillier than any of the rest of us. Joel, Heather, and I just looked on and laughed.

Party time! The next song was sort of our theme song-- Everybody Needs Somebody To Love, from the Blues Brothers soundtrack. If you don't remember the story of how Joel and I (and Dave and I) met, go track it down on my webpage. Hint: it involves people dressed up in black hats and sunglasses. -grin- This was followed by another two fast songs, before Dave the DJ had mercy on us and slowed the pace down.

The entire evening was a blast. Everyone loved the music-- mostly good old rock-n-roll with some party stuff and funk, and NO group dances or line dance music! No chicken dance! No hokey pokey! And you know what? Nobody missed them at all. We were all having too much fun just dancing, partying, drinking, munching, talking, and taking photos at the backdrop. More photos of us were taken in the hallway, where a large set of steps and two thronelike chairs were available for those inclined to pose in weird ways. We got a group shot of the Elitist Bastards net.folk, which turned out very nicely. We also had a bunch of guys get down and do the gator to Shout, and my mom got them to do it a second time, because she'd missed the photo op!

The cake came out around 8:45 pm, and I tossed the bouquet around 9:00 or so. Joel's cousin Carrie caught it, in a close fight for the flora! Soon after that, I and the remaining guests got a treat-- a serenade by Joel's Phi Mu Alpha Sinfonia music-fraternity brothers. They sang a traditional song, To the Sweetheart of Phi Mu Alpha. They then all decided that even if they didn't have any tenors, they were going to try Honey, aka Little 'Lize! So they all kneeled and sang, and I ended up singing along with the tenor part, which I'd remembered from my four years around them at Valparaiso. It was awesome, to hear our voices blend so well. The rest of the guests were *quite* impressed.

Soon, it was time for the next-to-last dance. I had promised my young cousin Natalie, Jr. Bridesmaid extraordinaire, that I would allow them to play My Heart Will Go On at the reception. I *hate* that song. But I figured I had a solution-- we'd leave beforehand! We took our cues from the Blues Brothers once again, and at 10:10 asked the DJ to play Sweet Home Chicago. Yes, the really loooooong version. Everyone got onto the dance floor, and we ended up with this amazing circle kickline of friends, family, and net.folk, with legs going high in the air. We had asked Rich and Heather to pull us away, and they seemed to have gone missing, so we got them, pulled them in, and then escaped. We ducked out of the circle, with everyone else still kicking merrily on, and ran for the cars!

After the reception had wound down, my parents and Dave and Jen (and a few stray listmembers) helped load cars and van with gifts and food and stuff. Carolyn had noticed the pan of leftover portions and wrapped the top layer of wedding cake for us, and mom put those in my freezer and my bouquet and the French wine JD Lanz had given us in the fridge, and somehow the four of them laid all of our presents out on the floor of the apartment. We had 125 people there, and almost everyone had given us something funky or cool.

Meanwhile, Rich and Heather dropped us off, and Rich waited outside the door while Joel got out of his tux. Just after Rich had left, Joel remarked that I'd done great by getting his fraternity pin-- and I had to say that it was Dave's, and we had to phone Rich and have him come back to the room to get the pin to give to Dave the next day! Ack! We then proceeded to de-pin my hair, and get me out of my dress. What a relief that was! I looked like a Bride of Frankenstein instead of Mrs. Hahn. So, we piled into the shower, got all the gunk out of my hair, and finally went to bed, enjoying our finally-reached status as husband and wife.

It was only six years, six months, and a day from the day he asked me to be his girlfriend. : ) Awwwww!

Next: Part III - The Days Following (Sunday to Friday)

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