From: Dave Kenyon [dave@kenyonwoodworking.com]
Sent: Monday, January 28, 2002 7:11 PM
To: Sander List...
Subject: The Taliban's worst nightmare

!!!!!!!!!!!  NEBSRA NEWS FLASH  !!!!!!!!!!!

JAMAICA PLAIN; Stubbornly resisting the lure of good sense and mature behavior, the Central Committee of the New England Belt Sander Racing Association has refused to cancel this weekend's highly anticipated competition. Having demonstrated breathtaking foresight many weeks ago by switching the race date from SuperBowl Sunday to SuperBowl Saturday in anticipation of the Patriots' unlikely triumph, CenCom now feels that any decision they make is, by definition, the right one. Members of the NEBSRA Nation are therefore advised to adjust their dust masks, pack the kids into the mini-van, and head to The SanderDome for an afternoon of full-bore, gut wrenching sport/entertainment/performance art.

Throwing fiscal caution to the wind, Cencom has contracted for the production of the traditional cast aluminum beltsanders to grace this year's custom trophies, thereby insuring that New England's top talent will be on hand, vying for possession of one of the most sought after relics this side of an Enron Management Awards Dinner. Race aficionados are expecting to see many of their past favorites. Early registrations include numerous former champions: "Custom Deluxe", "Elvis", "Bitchin' Babes", and "Barbie" are confirmed. "YoYo Dyne" will be leading the charge out of Cape Ann, and The Central Maine Power Tool Racing Association has threatened to torment us all with the return of the dreaded "Potential Disaster". Rumors are rife that "Team Yuppie Scum" will do whatever is necessary to reclaim former glory. As always, honors will be awarded for first, second, and third place in both stock and modified divisions. In addition, exceptional contestants will be recognized in the categories of Best Dressed, Sorriest Mofo, Wasted Engineering, and Family Values. New racers are always welcome, provided they can come up with the $15 entry fee. New racers are reminded that NEBSRA hews to the tradition of a 12" wide track, stock races going 50 feet, and modified races going 75 feet.

02/02/02 @  2:02 (Nebsra Standard Time)
179 Boylston Street, Jamaica Plain, USA

Queries: NEBSRA@kenyonwoodworking.com