The episode guide will be updated every time there's a new episode. Most recent episodes are on the top. Doofus.

Episode #113: "Vote Eric for Overlord"

  • Staff Boy has a new pet historian, who only speaks in false historical facts. Matt and Eric don't fancy his kind 'round these parts, so they sic their new pet ninja, Champ, on him. They have a Battle Dome-style...battle. The ninja comes out victorious. Because of an extremely short Fresca commercial, Matt tries to fill the time by telling a very unfunny story, which pisses Eric off about how disorganized the show is going. He cancels Matt's interview with the Great Gazoo to annouce that he is running for town overlord in the upcoming election. Some of his goals are to make sure all dogs wear pants, and that alll women don't wear pants. Matt is pissed. Eric sticks a couple campaign buttons into Matt's head, sending him to the hospital. Back at the desk, Eric and his running mate, Staff Boy, show the campaign commercial for Eric's opponent, Frank Beefy. The ad is just mudslinging against Eric. Eric shows *his* mudslinging ad, only it's slader against Matt instead of Frank Beefy. Matt comes back with bandaged head and is pissed. Staff Boy answers some letters, as usual. Eric wanted to have Frank Beefy on the show for a heated debate, but he refused. So Eric switches the channel to a news broadcast with beefy on it, being interviewed by Monkey Boy. Hilarity ensues. Eric calls in pretending to be different members of his own family. Matt isn't fooled. Eric unveils his subtitle machine for the show, but it's in plain ol' English instead of French. Back in Paris, a French man gets pissed. Eric switches the channel back to the news, where the election results are about to be announced. Eric beat out Frank Beefy, but Champ, the pet ninja, beat out Eric. The ninja celebrates among fanfare and confetti.
    ERIC: Champ the Ninja, Monkey Boy, Fresca Drinker
    MATT: Prof. Higgenbottom, Fresca Drinker, Frank Beefy, Kevin Lacconski, Angry French Man
    SAM: Fresca Drinker
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    Episode #112: "John Abrashkin Show: The Movie"

  • Matt, Eric, and whats-his-name are all excited about the upcoming release of the full length feature version of the show, although Eric has developed a typical Hollywood ego. The Pony Express delivers the new movie poster, which is just a picture of the prime minister of Sweden, but Matt doesn’t seem to mind because of the bright colors. The trailer for the movie is shown, which consists of cheesy dialogue, pointless action and a confusing plot. It is revealed that Staff Boy’s scenes have been cut, and he is being played by a terrible teenage actor named Kenny Danger. Staff Boy is furious about this and decides to film his own movie. Eric interviews the director of the movie, Kilty O’Neal, Scotland’s most acclaimed director. He gets fed up with Eric’s ego and adds subliminal messages to the movie. During the calls, Eric’s agent phones in and tells him about new upcoming projects, such as the lead in "Air Bud 5" and a sitcom called "Eric!" Matt’s agent also calls in, saying he got him a job as a co-host on "The John Abrashkin Show." Staff Boy shows the trailer for his own movie, which is poorly done, with Staff Boy playing all parts, including Matt and Eric. After "JA Show: The Movie" opens up to terrible reviews, Eric gives his final thought about the dangers of selling out and developing a huge ego, only to be interrupted by Staff Boy, who just received several Oscars for his movie.
    ERIC: Kenny Danger, Matt's Agent (voice)
    MATT: Kilty O'Neal, Eric's Agent (voice)
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    "The Best of the John Abrashkin Show"

  • This doesn’t really count as an episode. It’s just an hour-long compilation of our best crap. Watch it or all your friends will hate you.
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    Episode #111: "Revenge of the Network"

    All 3 are excited about the upcoming episode’s lowbrow content, chock full of explosions, rock music, and mindless stunts. A "Hellish Rock Death" meter shows that the show is up to "7," a new record. However, network regulations do not allow Hellish Rock Death content to exceed 5, but they decide to go along anyway. Commercial: Public service announcement about Balloon Boy and the dangers of smoking pot. Or is it drunk driving? Back at the show, the new out-on-the-street correspondence robot is unveiled, who asks political questions and dances to Journey. For the interview, Matt expects a daredevil/rock star, but it is apparently canceled when a network executive shows up to make the show more intelligent and profitable. The Rock Death meter shoots down to zero. The first item of business is to sell crappy merchandise, including the offical J.A. Show saran wrap body suit. A small show from the Censored Pog Theatre is shown, about the dangers of eskimo attacks. For calls, the network requires a call in contest to win $1.18. Nobody wins. To build up suspense and increase viewers, the network plants a bomb on the set, which Staff Boy defuses with a hammer. A memo from the network arrives, syaing that Eric is being replaced by Justin, a new hip trendy teen to display the latest fashions every week, and also Staff Boy is being sold. Justin arrives and makes a mockery of the show, until Pirate Staff Boy arrives to save the day. Which he does. Obviously.
    ERIC: Balloon Boy, Robot Boy, Censored Pog Theatre Players (voice), Angry Husband (voice), Justin
    MATT: Censored Pog Theatre Players (voice), Ditzy Wife (voice)
    SAM: Network Executive
    CHAD ST. MARTIN: Balloon Boy Friend
    STEVE BLAIR: Balloon Boy Friend
    JOHN HARKE: Piano Player

    Episode #110: "Tenth Anniversary Spectacular"

    Some confusion arises why Staff Boy calls this the 10th Anniversary since it's only the tenth episode, but Matt thinks it sounds better so they just go with it. A commercial is shown for the John Abrashkin Show Special Edition laserdisc. Back at the show, Matt and Eric think they are having all there old interview guests back for a party, but Staff Boy informs them that he simply has clips of old interviews. This upsets them and they make Staff Boy sit in a dumpster. Several quick clips are shown from past interviews from the last 20 years...or something. Staff Boy returns from the dumpster and Matt and Eric hold audtions for Gus the Clay Man's auditions, including a gingerbread gang and a bunch of gremlins. They get bored with this and give up. Staff Boy answers some special letters for his advice corner. Special clips are shown from past call-ins...fun. Matt and Eric reminise about when they met their evil selves, Toby and Alan. A clip of the pilot episode is shown, and also clips of what everyone was doing before the show: Matt's "movie" career, Eric's job as mashed potatoes, and Staff Boy's major multi-billion dollar corporation. Matt reads some viewer mail from Mr. Belding.
    ERIC: Shanghai Slapster, Greek God of Low Monthly Mortgages, Wheat Thin (voice), Timmy (voice), Toby, The Jackalope
    MATT: Acid Magician, Giant Talking Eyebrow, Delicious Von Buren (voice), Head Gremlin (voice), Magazine Saleslady (voice), Alan
    SAM: Mashed Potato Eater

    Episode #109: "Staff Boy's Revenge"

    Matt and Eric recieve a telegram from the head of the network, demanding "newer, faster, cheaper" shows. This makes everybody upset, and Matt and Eric grow impatient with Staff Boy, who then feels unappreciated and leaves the show in a huff. While in a temporary hideout, Staff Boy works on a plan to take over the show. Meanwhile, the show, without Staff Boy, begins to collapse since Matt and Eric don't know how to run anything. They decide to present tapes submitted by viewers, which are horrible and absurd. Staff Boy then takes over the show, knocks out Matt and Eric, and replaces their show with his own, "Staff Boy's Hawaiian Party Show" with his new sidekick he found on the street. It's terrible. A fan of the John Abrashkin Show, after seeing his favorite show replaced with this terrible knockoff, devises a plan to capture Staff Boy with the help of his sidekick and return control of the show to Matt and Eric. They then invade Staff Boy's set and succeed with their mission. Matt and Eric attempt to persuade Staff Boy to re-join their show, but he refuses. Finally, Ronald Reagan calls in to help. Staff Boy is convinced by his favorite president to re-join the show. In the end, everybody wins!
    ERIC: Monkey Boy, Timmy Timkins, Andromeda Cowboy, Unknown
    MATT: Davis, Ronald Reagan (voice)

    Episode #108: "The Telethon"

    Matt and Eric, upon finding Staff Boy's mom's credit card, are busy on the phone ordering useless crap from catalogs. But after the credit limit is exceeded, the account is gone, and so is the show's budget. For the interview, Eric had arranged for all the last surviving members of the Zoobale Zoos to come on the show, but can no longer afford to pay them. Roy, a repo man, comes on the show and starts to take everything away, so Eric interviews him instead. Roy says he's always dreamt of being a stand-up comic. Matt and Eric decide to hold a telethon to raise money, but nobody calls in. During the call-in segment, a studio executive calls in pitching show ideas for when the show is cancelled. The head of the network also calls, complaining about unpaid bills. And Ronald Reagan calls, donating no more than 14 cents, which just doesn't cut it. Roy does stand-up comedy to try and raise money, but gets no laughs and repossesses the microphone, and eventually Staff Boy. Ronald Reagan calls back in demanding his 14 cents back. Mark Amy does poetry to raise money, but of course gets none. Things don't seem to be going well. Matt and Eric show what is to be there last commercial, which is a foreign import. But during the break, they get a letter from and again, dying an with a check for 14 million dollars. All seems saved, so Matt and Eric celebrate by getting back on the phone and ordering more useless crap.
    ERIC: Studio Executive (voice), Head of the Network (voice), Mark Amy, Fjord Koffee Announcer
    MATT: Roy the Repo Man, Ronald Reagan (voice)

    Episode #107: "The Arch Nemesis"

    Matt and Eric’s introduction is interrupted by an incoming video transmission from King Rock, a hip band leader who is trying to get through to the Municipal Arena-dome. While straightening out the technical difficulty, a commercial is shown for the Sheen Machine, an action figure with the heads of Martin Sheen, Charlie Sheen, and Emilio Estevez. Back at the show, another video transmission is received, from Rick-Jim 2, Matt and Eric’s supposed enemy. Rick-Jim 2 reveals his origin, and why he is called Rick-Jim "2." Matt and Eric ignore him and continue with the calls from the viewers, but Rick Jim 2 will not stop calling and harassing them. Rick-Jim 2 then unveils his evil clones of Matt and Eric, however, they have turned out plaid due to DNA problems. Matt gets ready for his interview, but Rick Jim 2 rescheduled a new interview, Ronny Anderson, evil stockbroker. Gus the Clay Man ends up getting killed off by the head of the network. Rick-Jim 2 sends his plaid clones to kidnap Matt and Eric and bring them to his Death Moon, and then takes over the show. He interviews Carl Manahue, his evil college roommate, only to find out he isn’t that evil at all. All hope seems lost for Matt and Eric until Staff Boy flies in piloting his rental X-Wing and blows up the Death Moon. Commercial for Asthma Dog, a crime-fighting, heavy breathing dog. Back at the show, Matt and Eric get viewer mail from Rick-Jim 2, promising that he shall return once he gets enough money from his part-time job. Ooh. Foreshadowing at its best.
    ERIC: Sheen Machine Announcer, Rick-Jim 2, Gus the Clay Man (voice)
    MATT: King Rock, Exterminator (voice), Carl Manahue
    SAM: Sheen Machine User, Plaid Eric Clone, Ronny Anderson, Stuart (voice)
    STEVE BLAIR: Operator (voice), Flashback Party Guest, Plaid Matt Clone, Asthma Dog Victim, Rick-Jim 2's boss

    Episode #106: "Matt & Eric's Bogus Journey"

    Matt finds out who he's actually saying "welcome" to during the introduction. A commercial is shown for the Mini-Brazilian Soccer Team which instantly makes you attractive and desirable. Eric interviews Professor Philo T. Farnsworth who unveils his latest invention, a time machine. Things get a little confusing and paradoxes can easily occur. The professor leaves the time machine on the show while he goes off to receive a medal from Congress. Matt and Eric cannot fight the temptation, and steal the time machine to go back one week into the past, where they see their past selves taping a previous episode. They decide to call their past selves during their call-in segment, which gets very confusing and almost results in the universe collapsing in on itself. Matt and Eric then go 25 years into the future to see if their show is canceled. It isn't canceled, but it's very strange. For some reason Matt and Eric turned into backwards-talking odd looking cardboard cutouts and Staff Boy has been replaced by a new, evil Staff Boy. They then go back to the present to a do a special 15-hour "Gus the Clay Man" show, but Gus is shortly killed by the head of the network. Staff Boy answers some letters from future people. Staff Boy begs to use the time machine to see the future, but Matt and Eric accidently send him 3,000 years into the past. Matt and Eric then get frustrated with the time machine and destroy it, leaving Staff Boy in the past. How will he get back? Tune in next time.
    ERIC: Mini-Brazilian Soccer Team Announcer, Future Eric (voice), Future Staff Boy, Gus the Clay Man (voice)
    MATT: Dream Weaver, Prof. Philo T. Farnsworth, Prof. Fransworth's Seceratry (voice), Future Matt (voice), Gus Voice-Over (voice)
    SAM: Mini-Brazilian Soccer Team User

    Episode #105: "The Jesse Boliver Episode"

    Matt and Eric's friend Jesse guest stars in this episode. The show gets off to a strange start when Eric resembles a large monkey apparently due to a bad haircut. The trailer for Matt and Eric's movie, "Anti-Fanboy Police 2: Fanboy Revolution" is aired. Matt and Eric get excited for their interview, for they think the 80's pop star Tiffany is coming on the show, but it turns out to be a strange man who may or may not be convinced that he's Tiffany. Matt and Eric are obviously very disappointed. During the call-in segment, a grief-stricken family calls in expressing their sympathy, because they believe Eric passed away. Another call is a cardboard jug-band member who wants to recruit Staff Boy into the band. Toxic gas is released into the studio, causing Staff Boy to pass out and Matt and Eric's voices to raise in pitch, so they go outside to do Word On The Street with the assistance of Jesse, who does freestyle rapping for innocent pedestrians. Back in the studio, Matt unleases his consumer advisory and discusses the prototype names for McDonald's new kids' character, Iam Hungry. Staff Boy answers some questions in his advice segment. A commercial airs for a new spinoff, "A Day in the Life of Staff Boy." Matt and Eric answer a fan letter from Tammy Johnson, a three-year-old girl.
    ERIC: Bruce Jackson, Cardboard Jug-Band Member (voice)
    MATT: Dale McGavin, Grief-Stricken Man (voice)
    JESSE BOLIVER: Doug Freely, Tiffany, Crying Girl (voice)

    Episode #104: "Televisionatron Assistant 3000"

    Matt and Eric get a robot from a party to assist with the show, but it goes haywire and tries to take over. A Battle of the Bands is planned, but is cancelled when the robot sells all the bands' instruments and skins all the band members. Eric calls a repairman to fix the robot, and one of the calls-in is a boy who has a similar problem and is about to tell Matt how to fix the robot, but the robot disconnects him. The repairman shows up during the interview and talks a little about his life. Matt and Eric go out on the street looking for some advice on how to deal with the robot. The robot gets worse and sells Staff Boy, but he eventually comes back. Mark Amy shows up and gets along well with the robot, but eventually Eric beats it into submission with a shovel. Matt and Eric get some "viewer" mail, but it turns out to be from the wrong mailbox.
    ERIC: Robot Owning Boy (voice), Mark Amy
    MATT: Dave McCracken

    Episode #103: "Eric Gets Sick"

    The show gets off to a bad start, with Matt trying his new sexy image, but is ruined with Eric getting sick and collapsing on the desk. Commercial from a new sponsor, the Cleveland Mackey doll, a little figure with a tomato head. Matt interviews Wreath Champion, a superhero. A new Gus the Clay Man: His enemy, Toby the Snowman, hires a new sidekick, and unleashes his doomsday device on Gus. So sad. During the call-in segment, the show only recieves wrong numbers: somebody looking for a vet, another for a taco joint, and a mechanic shop. Matt and Eric go out on the street asking people "Why love?" and attempt to get old women to complete rap lyrics. Back in the studio, Eric interviews Craig Delicious, the #1 fan of the show. Another commercial, this time for the Toaster Phone. Staff Boy answers some letters for advice, bing bada boom.
    ERIC: Cleveland Mackey Announcer, Wreath Champion, Gus the Clay Man (voice), Clyde (voice), Taco Hostage (voice)
    MATT: Toby the Snowman (voice), Singing Dog Owner (voice), Soccer Playing Gangster (voice), Craig Delicious
    SAM: Sleeping Cleveland Mackey Victim, Toaster Phone User

    Episode #102: "The Roller-Bulgarians"

    While doing the introduction to the show, two Roller-Bulgarians (foreign hockey-playing badniks) plot to take over the John Abrashkin show. During the call-in segment, two people call in: a boy with a jazzman tied to his clothes dryer, and Tony Danza, looking for work. The interviews are Tom Belinquish, inventor of responsibility, and Terry Fisher, master of turtle kickboxing. Matt does a commercial for Official John Abrashkin Show pipe cleaners. Matt and Eric go out on the street and cause some more havoc in local businesses. Meanwhile, the Roller-Bulgarians sneak into the studio while Matt and Eric are out. They pose as Matt and Eric and beat up and kidnap Staff Boy. Staff Boy eventually shows up again, and the boys receive a letter from the head of the network, who wishes to make some interesting changes to the show.
    ERIC: Roller-Bulgarian #1, Tony Danza (voice), Terry Fisher, Satisfied Customer
    MATT: Roller-Bulgarian #2, Young Boy (voice,) Jazzman (voice), Tom Belinquish, Broom with Attitude
    SAM: Little Hawaiian Boy

    Episode #101: "Our Best Premiere Ever"

    Some crazy people call-in: The #1 fan of the show, some lonely guy, and a man claiming Matt owes him money. We did some commercials too, but I forgot what they're about. While Eric is away, Mark Amy tries to take his place and kills Staff Boy. Matt and Eric go out on the street and run amok. Staff Boy creates technical difficulties by chewing on some wires, so Matt and Eric consult P.J. Flatulence for some tax advice. While doing a writer spotlight, Irritating Stick comes along and kills all the writers for the show. The first Gus the Clay Man skit: Gus gets plastic surgury to avoid Toby the Snowman, but Toby sees through his disguise and the two get into a fight. Gus comes out on top.
    ERIC: Mark Amy, P.J. Flatulence (voice), Gus the Clay Man (voice)
    MATT: #1 Fan (voice), Lonely Guy (voice), Quarter-Seeking Guy (voice), Toby the Snowman (voice)

    Pilot: "The Forbidden Episode"

    Some wacky people call in. Matt and Eric go out on the street, finding out people's opinions on Florida becoming its own independent country. Some commercials. Matt gets upset with Staff Boy during a commercial break and fires him. Matt and Eric hold auditions for a new sidekick. One of the applicants is Mark Amy (his first apprearance), another is Carmen Karmen, and Staff Boy trying to get his job back. This episode will unfortunately never be aired due to copyright problems, but maybe it'll be re-made or something.
    ERIC: Mark Amy
    MATT: Carmen Karmen