Recently, Frank McCracken of Modern Sponge Monthly sat down with Matt Kristek and Eric Doyle, hosts of the John Abrashkin Show.

Frank McCracken: First off, thank you for giving the public this opportunity to get to know you a little better.

Eric: What?

Matt: He said "thank you."

Eric: You're welcome, Matt.

Frank: How did you two get your show?

Matt: We were approached by two big guys in black pinstripe suits in a bar.

Eric: Then we were knocked out and when we woke up, we were sitting at a desk and a camera was in front of us.

Matt: Yeah, we just went with the flow, baby.

Frank: How do you guys come up with material for a new show every week?

Eric: We don't come up with anything for the show.

Matt: Yeah, we have a bunch of smoking monkeys at typewriters who come up with everything.

Eric: No, Staff Boy ate the monkeys. We have giraffes now.

Matt: Dude!

Frank: How did you two meet?

Eric: Uh...

Matt: Um... oh wait, I remember. We were both assigned to Red Squadron to take on the evil empire's Death Star before it could blow up the rebel base.

Eric: Oh yeah... no, wait, that was a movie. Captain Ron.

Matt: Oh yeah.

Frank: What are your favorite office supplies?

Matt: Those styrofoam cups that you can make little pictures in with your thumbnail. Those are so rock 'n roll.

Eric: Does the waffle iron count as an office supply?

Frank: Do you guys have any future plans?

Eric: We've been working on a big underwater musical variety show. John Ritter is going to co-host with us!

Matt: You never told me about that.

Eric: It's electric, boogie woogie woogie.

Frank: What are your biggest inspirations?

Matt: Jeff Goldblum, collect call commercials, and that guy who sang that "Rico Suave" song.

Eric: Mark Hamill, Radio Disney, and Herbal Essence body wash... on toast.

Frank: What do you guys do in your spare time?

Matt: We spend most of our time creating props for the show out of our earwax, but when we do get a spare moment, I enjoy trimming facial hair off the elderly.

Eric: I videotape the Home Shopping Channel when I'm not home, so I usually have a lot of reviewing to do.

Frank: What do you think of all the success your show has brought you?

Eric: Our lives aren't that much different. Except for Matt's one-thousand-dollar-a-day habit.

Matt: Yeah. I hate to admit it, but everyday, I buy a crapload of toothpaste. I don't know what it is, but I really got hooked on the stuff.

Eric: Pathetic.

Frank: Well, thank you again for doing this interview.

Matt: Rock and roll.

Eric: It's over? Where's my money?

THE END