Dear Staff Boy,
My girlfriend turned out to be a robot again? Should I dump her, or keep her around for some hot android action?
Signed,
Fleebs Clean
Kentuckski, Greems

Fleebs-
What's your problem? Androids are great in the sack. Didn't you see Short Circuit 3? That movie ruled. Do as I tell you. Make sweet robo-love.
--Staff Boy

Staff Boyee,
7?? Whaaat?!!?
Love,
Gerald Ford
Whitiker, JO U.S.A.

Hey Gerald-
Of course, 7 rules, man! The rest are just losers.
--Staff Boy

Dear Staff Boy,
I'm turning into a commie! Where's my laundry?
Yeah,
Steve Blair
Czechozburg, GP

Steve-
Since you became a commie, your laundry is now the peoples laundry. We all share. Right now, I'm wearing your socks, and i think Eric is wearing your underwear on his head.
--Staff Boy
PLEASE NOTE: The John Abrashkin Show does not support communism in any way, shape, or form. And if we did, we wouldn't tell you anyway because we would rule you.

Staff Boy,
Did you hear about those new corduroy pillows?? They're making HEADLINES!!!
Ludge,
Arthur "Art" Penis
London, Crap

Mr. Penis,
I don't like corduroy. It makes funny noises in pants form, and will obviously ruin the sleeping experience. Never bring up the subject of pillow marks again.

Staff Boy has spoken. -END TRANSMISSION-

Little is known about Sam, a.k.a. Staff Boy. He helps out with the show and serves every operation a full crew would. He operates the cameras, microphones, and all other equipment. He also gets Matt and Eric coffee, transports them around in his hovercraft, and gets them backstage passes to all the kickin' concerts.

     Sam doesn't mind all the attention Matt and Eric get, because unbeknownst to them, Staff Boy has his own fan club with over 30,000 members and growing.

After each taping of the show, Staff Boy sleeps under the desk on the set, ready for shooting the next morn.

     Rumor has it he was born thousands of years ago, deep below the alkali flats. He was raised by a Tony Danza fan club. He teamed up with Eric and Matt after he escaped from the Millenium Falcon's cargo hold. They found him lying in a ditch and offered him a job, which he took.

The rest is history, boyee.

Marriage down the tube? Robots stealing your children? Girlfriend turned out to be a commie? Staff Boy can help!!!! E-mail your question to thejashow@hotmail.com and Staff Boy will help you out over the airwaves!