| Born: |
June 5, 1970 in McHenry, IL |
| Education: |
Enrolled in the 10 Year Bachelors Program at a personal
consortium of schools. Majoring in history at Northeastern University. |
| Employment: |
J. is currently operating as a poor paralegal. |
| Nutritional Requirements: |
Pasta with cheese and a Double GULP, full of Pepsi, of
course. He can tell you where every 7-11 is in the city and its surroundings. |
| Neatness: |
He's a pack rat...big time. |
| Lovable Quirks, Interests, and Likes: |
J. likes to hear himself speak in front of people. The
general consensus is that he should have his own talk show. Cartoons! J.
also has a simian nature and frequently climbs trees. |
| Pets: |
Practically a zoo...4 cats: Phoebe, Thalia, Valentine,
and Patches. One guinea pig known as Caby. A blue tick hound who goes by
Chloe. He also had a salamander for 17 years named Fred. Past kitties include
"Bob Cat," who chose to leave J. scarred for life. |
| Marital Status: |
Formerly. Now living in blissful sin with his girlfriend
Marsha. |
| Other Fun J. Facts: |
Never subtle. No modesty. Extremely stubborn. Was born
with a tooth...but without an optical nerve and pupil, thus he now has
a glass right eye. His brain also serves as a vast warehouse of useless
information. Please call if you want to play Trivial Pursuit with the Cornucopia
of Knowledge. |
