I think of you as a brother [ you remind me of that banjo
playing geek in "Deliverance" ]
I think of you as a brother [ you remind me of that banjo
playing geek in "Deliverance" ]
There's a slight difference in our ages [ you are one jurassic geezer ]
I'm not attracted to you in THAT way [ you are the ugliest
dork I've ever laid eyes upon ]
My life is too complicated right now [ I don't want you spend the
whole night or else you may hear phone calls from all the other guys
I'm seeing ]
I've got a boyfriend [ who's really my male cat and a half
gallon of Ben and Jerry's ]
I don't date men where I work [ Hey, bud, I wouldn't even date
you if you were in the same solar system, much less the same building ]
It's not you; it's me [ It's not me, it's you ]
I'm concentrating on my career [ Even something as boring and
unfulfilling as my job is better than dating you ]
I'm celibate [ I've sworn off only the men like you ]
Let's be friends [ I want you to stay around so I can tell
you in excruciating detail about all the other men I meet and
have sex with. It's that male perspective thing ]
I think of
you as a sister [ you're ugly]
There's a slight difference in our ages [ you're ugly ]
I'm not attracted to you in THAT way [ you're ugly ]
My life is too complicated right now [ you're ugly ]
I've got a girlfriend [ you're ugly ]
I don't date women where I work [ you're ugly ]
It's not you; it's me [ you're ugly ]
I'm concentrating on my career [ you're ugly ]
I'm celibate [ you're ugly ]
Let's be friends [ you're sinfully ugly ]