Why do you want to know?" may have been my immature, rude response many years ago if someone asked me "Where do you come from?". Were they simply curious, were they trying to judge me, or were they just trying to get to know me? I didn't want to answer them directly because I did not know the true answer until years later. A trip to my homeland would demonstrate the beauty of my existence.

Some say that culture comprises the aspects of an individual that make him differ. Others say culture is the epoxy that holds civilization together. Some even say that culture is the very essence of us - who we are and what we do. At a younger age, I saw culture as just the language my family spoke and the food we ate, and that's all. As I look back, I now realize that it was a view, not of an ignorant individual, but of a naive youth who had yet to realize who he really was.

Being a Latino male in New York City can sometimes be detrimental. Growing up in a place where every night a news reporter would say: "The suspect is a six-foot Latino male. . . ." made me question the society I was living in and who I was as a person. Was I the Ecuadorian-American who came from a rich culture and has been and always will be encouraged to strive. Or was I simply a statistic - someone who checked off MALE under SEX and LATINO/HISPANIC under ETHNICITY on all of these information forms without understanding what it meant.

When I was in elementary school, I thought I knew who I was. I knew I was Hispanic. I knew that I could speak Spanish. I knew what arroz con pollo was. What I did not realize was that my extensive culture was more than what appeared on the surface. Naturally, new questions arose: What is an Hispanic? What is an Ecuadorian? With these questions unanswered, it seemed that I was a forgotten soul, wandering aimlessly, searching for the truth. This soul would soon be at peace though.

Ecuador always seemed to be a distant place where family just came and went. I was excited to go there for my Christmas vacation in 1991. At the airport, people began staring at me, a 12-year-old boy jumping up and down throughout J.F.K. I didn't mind though. All I knew was that I was going on a journey to my undiscovered country. I was going to learn a little more about myself as well as what makes me different.

Images in books, or stories told by elders can never have the same affect on an individual as a hands-on experience. To acquire the essence of a country, one must be one with its people - accepting their language, their food and their customs. Their great diversity of food was appealing and informative. My observant eye did not dismiss customs that they take for granted in the country. One New Years custom in particular was extemely interesting. Before New Year's Eve, Ecuadorians create (or now buy) life-size paper maché dolls that resemble significant icons of the past year. They parade the dolls, called "El Año Viejo" ("The Old Year"), throughout the country as symbols of admiration. On New Year's Eve, this doll is filled with firecrackers and set aflame. The event represents the departure of the previous year and the fresh start that a new year will bring. Beliefs and customs intertwined, the event enlightened and also entertained me.

Of course, Ecuador was just a starting point to my self-discovery. Though I was eager to learn more about Ecuadorian culture, I also yearned to learn about Hispanic culture as a whole. In the five years to follow, I enjoyed dancing to propelling Cuban music and eating Colombian arepas. I immersed myself with the literary works of Gabriel Garcia Marquez and Ana Maria Matute. I made many new friends whose diversity influenced me and made me a better person.

When someone asks me the question now, I respond to them with the utmost detail. I am proud to say that I am Latino . . . that I am Ecuadorian. Through my pursuit and enlightenment, I accomplished what some do not ascertain in a lifetime. Sometimes we must realize who we are beneath the surface to succeed in life. Only by asking the questions that boggled my mind and by seeking the truth did I get the answers that I desired and the feeling of pride and self-fulfillment that I needed.