November 2004 - God Help Us All
RayzRealm (c) November, 2004

[Nov 03][Nov 06][Nov 07][Nov 13]
[Nov 21]

Wednesday November 3

Pucker your lips
for the apocalypse.


I wons fair and square, right unka dick?

I'm almost speechless. I feel like the proverbial Bambi, caught in the headlights of an oncoming 18 wheeler. A bit over 4 years ago, I knew that Bush was going to win, despite all the "you're totally off your nut! don't even think that" I heard. I've always been a bit of a seer, ever since childhood. My late close friend and partner in crime, Paul and a few others called me spooky, for my ability, or curse, at being able to foretell things about the future and people, way before any facts had been gathered.

This morning I sent the following mail to the dozen or so people on my distribution list, which was probably an emotional knee jerk reaction in response to the 4:30 AM blather on the radio, but even yesterday when I went to the polls, knew deep down this would be the outcome.


I woke up this morning at 4:30, turned the radio on to hear
talk show talking heads celebrating 4 more years of greed,
arrogance, pillaging, shafting the poor, working class and

I sort of knew in my heart of hearts throughout this 4 year
disaster, that the giggling murderer would be reelected.

This morning the news hit as hard as if my doctor had just
told me, "you have a very aggressive, un treatable form of
cancer and have 6 months to live."

Right now I have the most profound feeling of sadness. The
amerikan people who put these monsters in control, deserve
every bit of evil that befalls this once great land, unfortunately
it will be the poor, working poor. downtrodden and innocent
who pay.

The fatal disease analogy is fitting considering, the shock and uncertainty that will be sure to follow. One the bright side, the sun rose in the East, after the clouds parted, the toilet and drains still swirled in the same direction as they always have in the Northern hemisphere, I still put on my pants one leg at a time and the people around me had not turned green or sprouted a third eye, but something subtle had happened, my reality base shifted slightly. I almost felt a strange sense of calm, the decision has been made and all we can do now is watch and wait to see what stunts the neocons will pull next. It's the same feeling you get when the doctor looks at you solemn;y after your test results come back, "please sit down, I have some news, and it's not good." After the initial shock wears off you try to mentally prepare yourself for whatever happens.

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Saturday November 6

I'm still trying to digest the doctor's words, "do you know what I've just told you?" The verdict of an incurable neocon cancer that very well could consume the world is still a bit much to comprehend or bear. The beer swilling, pickup truck driving, gun and Bible toting, along with the soulless corporations have spoken, we're now on a campaign to wipe out sin and bring the world to Jesus, even if we have to nuke'em and bring them kicking and screaming. Yup, Murca is gonna be a beacon of sound Christian morals from now on; increased profits for corporations, getting rid of all those sinful gay, poor, black, elderly and cripples, this being pushed by one of the most corrupt administrations in American history, From now on, we will not be called the United States, but Neocondria, and all loyal citizens will be known as Neocondriacs.

I actually cried in private yesterday, over what has happened to the country I loved, served and was proud to proclaim as my place of birth. Many of the thinking, rational and feeling people I have spoken with since Wednesday morning feel an equal sense of loss, confusion and despair over the alleged masses voting for 4 to God know how many more years of this madness.

I have always known deep down that humanity wears a very thin veneer, that we call civilization, but underneath the veneer lies a core of barbarism, driven by the reptilian part of our brains. You can call it the fallen state of man of you wish or poor wet ware design by God, but I call it the pure animalistic heart of barbarism and stupidity, but if you read between the lines in the Bible, it does condone the stoning, boiling in oil, burning at the stake and beheading of infidel dogs. Well as Jesus said. "dogs return to their own vomit." Dogs tend to do that. I had a Labrador retriever who used to woof up her own puke, but dogs also sniff each other's butts and eat their own poop. The red states have pretty much labeled those of us who are from the blue states, dogs. Considering the source, I take that as a compliment.

You can read a lot of stuff into the Bible, "God hates intellectuals, free thinkers and liberals." God wants obedient sheep who will follow any order that the leaders he hand picks for us say to follow, it does say that somewhere. Then there's a passage where Jesus said he does not come in peace but with a flaming sword, brother against brother, wife against husband, nation against nation. I cannot in all honesty say I am any longer a Christian, let alone a good one, it's all too confusing.

If you ask me, God has taken his prayer phone off the hook and is ignoring our calls, he's letting us stew in our own juices now to teach Americans some sort of painful lesson.....more later

Needless to say, web's been abuzz all week, a bumper crop of bad news.

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Sunday November 7

The Prez Unplugged

A few people have said to me, "you really hate President Bush, don't you". Now here is the plain truth, I DO NOT HATE George W. Bush; I do not agree with his policies or choices of selected officials, which probably places me among the "if yer not with us, yer agin us" Axis Of Evil. I have had thoughts, like I have had about many of the presidents I have lived through, what if, just what if the President and I could sit face to face in a quiet deserted cafe over coffee, away from any press, advisors or secret service, just the two of us having a heart to heart talk, what would I say?

I've thought about asking Mr. Bush what are his unplugged, candid feelings about his job, the constant pressure of special interest groups and world figures, the pressures of the same groups who funded him and now demand payback, "you owe us favors big time." Does he ever want to tell them to go fuck off? Does he ever wish that he had never assumed the position? Does he ever feel bad about decisions he had made under pressure that hurt the little guy?

To be honest, striving to be president is something that was never on my "to do" list. Someone has to either be a megalomaniac, have a messiah complex, want to save the world or be totally off their rocker to want to manage the most powerful country on Earth. I have a hard time managing my check book, let alone a massive piece of real estate with close to 300 million of the most diverse cultures, all under one roof.

So if I ever got the chance to meet Dubya in private I'd be civil and friendly, (maybe we'd actually exchange a few laughs) but being as curious as a cat, I'd want to know what's really makes him tick.

I don's hate people, but I do hate attitudes; arrogance, pretentiousness, ignorance, hate for the sure joy of hatred, self-importance, greed, vindictiveness. etc. Once you skim this surface scum away, there's probably a very small fearful child at the core. 

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Saturday November 13

Praise de Lawd

I'm still almost struck speechless by last week, and have been woken up by nightmares where Imperial storm troopers come kicking down my door in the dead of night, surrounding my bed at gun point, and assuring me, "go back to sleep, this space is now secured."  

Last night and this morning we got hit with about 4-5" of inches of the first snow of the season. I am not ready for 4 to 5 months more of this, to say nothing of 4 to 100 years more of rethuglican, hypocritical theocratic rule, or as my dad used to say, "do as I say, not as I do."

The religious wing nuts have been crawling out of the woodwork since last Wednesday, when it was announced that "De Lawd" has annointed his chosen to lead our country out of sin, away from homo's, out of sight of Janet  Jackson's  naked boob, out of ear shot of Howard Stern's potty mouth, away from Michael Moore's godless, commie rap, and onward to the promised land. Well at least for Halliburton and the Fortune 500, it will be a land of milk and honey, but for the rest of us, as Jesus would say, "into the darkness where there is moaning and gnashing of teeth."

I read one article where some rethug evangelical said, "I don't see the use of nuclear weapons as evil, but as a gift from God, a Rapture accelerant." Alledgedly the Bible says that "God so loved the world that he gave his only son". These nut jobs hate the world so much they cannot wait to destroy it, but not until they have extracted every ounce of wealth from it that they can, and have safely scurried under ground to their luxury bunkers before the bombs start falling.

And right on queue, Falwell and company are pulpit pounding that Bush was God's choice once again and if Kerry got elected, it would be fire, brimstone and eternal damnation for us all, so God blessed us with 4 more years rather than nuke us. Of course any patriotic American knows that the economy being in the toilet, the war in Iraq becoming another Viet Nam, the country being more divided than it has been in over 100 years and us now being the most hated country on earth is not due to Bush's incompetent leadership. We all know the blame lies directly on gays, feminists, liberals, Democrats and non Christians.

Here's this week's interesting (to me anyway) basket full of news articles and journals I book marked during the week.

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Sunday November 21


I'm in the middle of George Carlin's new book, and as always he always hits a resonant chord with me, plus makes me laugh my ass off. As gross as he can be, I confess to enjoying Howard Stern also. The Simpsons, Futurama, South Park and Family Guy have been guiltless pleasures of mine since the shows first aired.

People have accused me of being racist, sexist, homophobic, xenophobic, beastial, juvenile and just plain mad as a hatter for undulging in such animated entertainment. But these same people think that Fear Factor, Survivor, Who Wants to...., WWF Wrestling nd Faux News are high quality programming.

Some of the alternative news and weird science sites I visit have been posting reports of a large increase in UFO sightings around the world, more blatant and visible than usual. Perhaps the little buggers are jockeying for a front row seat to watch the show as we blow ourselves up. I'm still waiting for am alien craft to land on the White House lawn; let's see Faux news whitewash that one, "today a dry cleaning bag filled with swamp gas landed on the White House lawn. Reports of the sighting being an alien craft have been put to rest by senior advisor, Karl Rove."

I'm beginning to get concerned with all the talk in the media from evangelicals about the end times, the rapture and Armageddon coming soon; what's an unsaved leftist leaning Democrat to do? The wing nuts I have spoken to tell me (and this comes straight from an inter office memo from God) that the devil himself stands a better chance of being saved and going to heaven than I do. After all, I have committed countless sins of the flesh involving my naughty bits, am rent poor and did not vote for Bush, not do I belong to one of the evangelical "Barking Bible" store front revival churches.

What if all the wing nuts are wrong and Jesus will be whisking away all the little people and dime store sinners, while leaving all the "Billionaires for Bush" and war mongering fascists behind to stew in their own juices during the tribulation. I haven't even thought about what I should pack. How many pairs of underwear and socks should I pack? Will I need a tooth brush, soap and shaving gear? Should I carry my driver's license, cash and credit cards? Is heaven formal, or are jeans and tee shirts appropriate attire? Should I pack all my meds and vitamin supplements? Should I bring a book to read? Since I'll probably be left behind, I should probably unpack my bags and begin shopping for some lead lined underwear, sun glasses and SPF 15,000 sun block.

I'm on vacation this coming week. I may be tentatively heading for P-Town (one of the bluest towns in the bluest state in the nation) on Tuesday for the remainder of the week, but still have reservations about going. I ran into an old friend of Bill and Bob online, who has made the offer to come on down for the week to get away from it all. Twenty years ago I would have had my bags packed in anticipation, but the direction my life has taken over the past 20 years makes me a bit apprehensive about taking the trip.

As usual I've been busier than a long tail cat in a room full of rocking chairs at work and will be going to Vancouver BC in January for software development training. In my entire working career the furthest I ever had to travel fell within the 6 New England states. Again, 20 years ago I would have been chomping at the bit to go, but feel queasy about traveling. I don't think my concern is about a box cutter salesman named Abdul sitting in the next row wearing exploding sneakers, if my number comes up, it comes up. If the trip was scheduled for May through September I might feel more enthusiastic. I wish I still had the sense of adventure I did when I was younger, but for some reason that has disappeared during the past  10 years.

"May the wind be always at your back my friend,
and the skies forever blue."

I have mentioned my penpal and friend Doug from Chicago many times in past journals. I first met him about 4 years ago through an email message he sent after spending time exploring my old web site "Bigboote's Area51". What followed was a 7 month frequent exchange of lengthy phone calls and emails, culminating in his coming for a week long visit during Thanksgiving week of 2001. Since we had never actually met, I had reservations about having a stranger as a house guest for a week, but for some strange reason we were like kindred spirits. Doug is an extraordinary guy, the sort of person I have only encountered a few times during my life.

We have kept in touch since his visit, when he returned to Thailand and back to Chicago after his last extended journey. He has now returned again to the Far East and has started a blog. Doug is a sober gay man who has been living with AIDS since the mid 80's. I only wish I had 10% of his chutzpah, courage and charisma. This morning I received a link to his travel blog, Searching For My Soul. Thank you Douglas! I will be following your travels, as will the 2.5 other visitors to RayzRealm. Peace my friend, mat God watch over and protect you in your journey, and as I've said before, you'd make a splendid host for a PBS travel series.

Here's the pre-vacation batch or journals articles for this week, gathered during my daily news search.

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Shalom, Ray