Have you checked out taquitos.net? They've got all sorts of reviews of chips and various other snacks. You'll need to jog 5 miles just to work off reading their site.

Great site -- I particularly enjoyed the Worst Chip Ever feature. Guess which one of the following is real:

1. Humpty Dumpty Sour Cream and Clam chips

2. Pieces O' Urkel

3. Old Mutha Hubbard's Crispy Baked Soy-related Octagons

4. Rumplestilt's Skins

Answer at the end of the column.

Calbee Wasabi Shrimp Flavored Baked Chips

Taste: Pretty good. The sticks are crunchy and light, and there's a good Wasabi flavor - not like a bag of Wasabi peas that will make you cry. Can't really taste the shrimp.
Aroma: They smell slighly of Wasabi - not enough to make your eyes water when you open the bag.
Manufacturer: Calbee Foods Co., Ltd.
From the bag: "Our moisture proof packaging ensures the freshness of this product."
Trivia: A bucket of Wasabi on the package makes the mascot shrimp weep.

I've been watching Voyager late at night, partly because I'm pasted to the sofa and loathe to give up the day. It's as hit-and-miss as I remember. […]

And the characters are generally awful - bad writing and bad acting. The Klingon Chick wasn't a strong warrior wrestling with her conflicted self, but a straight-out bitch, and dull to boot. Harry Kim was a wimp - they killed his character dead in the second season when they had him play the OBOE, for heaven's sake. Tom Paris, supposedly the bad boy hot-shot pilot, came off as a dorky twirp half of the time. Seven of Nine were wonderful additions to the show, and gave it an edge; Ms Ryan did a fine job with that character, limited as it was. The Doctor was always one of my favorites, but as usual they played up the wants-to-be-human! thing too much. (Of all the interviews I've done of Trek participants, he's my favorite: a nice guy who loved his work.) Neelix - well, he needed a little more Quark, frankly. He should have been the ship's black-market guy selling people cigarettes in the holodeck. Robert Beltram did what he could with the Chakotay role, which wasn't much; they'd given Kirk-like Brashness to Paris, and Captainy stuff to Kate Mulgrew. He spent most of the episodes standing there doing nothing, and I'm surprised they didn't stick cigars in his fist. Now, Cap'n Janeway I liked. I've worked for a Janeway or two in my lifetime. I just wonder how high her voice would have been if she hadn't smoked. […]

RELIGIOUS MERGER CREATES 900 MILLION HINJEWS

Attainment of Nirvana Still Goal, But Not So Important
That You Should Miss Cousin Vijay's Bar Mitzvah

New Delhi, India (SatireWire.com) -- Hinjew leaders today conceded the merger of Hinduism and Judaism has not worked out as planned, as instead of forming a super-religion to fight off the common Islamic enemy, they have instead created a race of 900 million people who, no matter how many times they are reincarnated, can never please their mothers.

"On paper, this was a textbook alliance -- two smaller competitors join forces to take on a larger adversary," said New Delhi resident Chandra Gopan. "But the synergies are just not there. For instance, I still believe I must pursue my own dharmic path to ultimate happiness, but when I get there, I just know my mother will find something wrong with it." […]

Thursday, July 18
At 7:27 p.m. a Garfield Avenue woman reported seeing what she thought was the missing boa constrictor in her woodpile. The responding sergeant found no traces of the snake, however.

I'm asking for nominations for the 2002 Piece of Crap Award, given to a consumer product that cost a lot of money and died for no good reason, like my $249 Panasonic Cordless Answering System that not only started eating messages like wasabi nuts, but opened up some sort of gateway to hell and let demons possess my cheap useless GE cordless. Three hundred bucks down the dollar drain.

Vent your rage. I'm here. I understand. […]

Leo: (July 23 - Aug. 22)
It's okay to tell a girl you like the way she walks, as long as you do it politely, and she's not an amputee who uses those clip-on arm canes.

Libra: (Sept. 23 - Oct. 23)
It might be the absolute last straw, but at least it's one of those fun and colorful flexi-straws.

Aquarius: (Jan. 20 - Feb. 18)
You have the freedom to choose, and therefore have the potential to transcend your very nature through an act of will, but you will only choose extra cheese.

A giant squid that washed up on an Australian beach could be a previously unknown species, scientists said Monday.

The 550-pound creature was found dead Saturday on a beach in Hobart in Tasmania state and was transported Monday to the Tasmanian Museum. Experts were studying its unusual characteristics, which include long, thin flaps of muscle attached to each of its eight arms.

''What we've seen on this animal we haven't seen on other squid, and it's a significant feature,'' said zoologist David Pemberton. ''It's basically like having a pile of muscles on your own body that nobody else has … and I think it will rewrite the taxonomy.''

Why Be This Site?

This site be, for thee!!

After extensive research by I, I have turned up few resources for ye pirates. That be making this site necessary.

What be the site goals and mission?!

Arrgh! I say, it 'tis to provide an online resource for pirates on the Internet. We provide helpful tips and resources such as:

- Information for Pirates starting a small business
- Pirate Health tips
- Ship decorating ideas
- Community where pirates can interact
- Training in areas where pirates are typically deficient (Microsoft Windows, Changing a car tire, etc.)

The most eye-popping characteristic of Thalassodromeus is its large, thin, cranial crest that looks with its V-shaped end like a giant spearhead or knife blade. The bony crest makes up about three-quarters of the animal's head. Proportionately, it is the largest such crest of any known extinct or living vertebrate, with the exception of one other type of pterosaur.

"This is pretty close to the far end of weird," said Christopher Bennett, a pterosaur expert at the University of Bridgeport in Connecticut who has seen the new specimen. "But pterosaurs are really weird animals."

1. Fear of waking up in 67 years and discovering that my heirs had my head cryogenically frozen, and that the sole recognizable thing from my time is Rosie magazine.

2. A nagging sense that the black car I see in my rearview mirror is the FBI. I don't see it all the time, only when I make midnight runs to the dropoff point in the hollow tree behind the old stone wall on Route 3, a mile past the abandoned Live Bait stand that's been a safe house for our group since '47 -- ah, but there I go, shooting my mouth off again.

3. The tree guy I paid that money to who promised to diagnose my sickly evergreen is a quack, and there really isn't such a thing as a 'tree whisperer."

4. Medical books someday will include symptoms for Lileks' Syndrome, which means they had no flippin' idea what hit me, and it was just one of those stand-back-and-take-notes diseases. […]

[…] I must have spilled [Pledge] on the floor. I noticed that Toddler™ hit the deck when she walked in this area, but kids are always falling down. But then Jasper Dog ran around the corner to bark at the mailman -- his front left leg shot right, and he cracked his head against the wall with a sound like someone shooting a brick at a manhole cover. His response was typical: He sneezed and blinked, paused, blinked, and sneezed again. I don't know if this is typical for all dogs, but when he takes a clout to the head he does this sneeze-and-blink routine that makes it seem as if he's rebooting his brain.

Loading odor database (pack/meat/rot/cat/dogsDONE)

Loading mating rituals, looking for privates

FAILURE: Private modules not available / loading shin preferences

Loading danger database (mailman/UPS/dogs/fireworks/dogsdogsdogs/DONE)

Loading … no, that's about it

END STARTUP

A nine-foot boa constrictor has been loose in Maynard for more than a week, despite a mid-week search that included about 30 police, fire and other volunteers.

"We received a call Wednesday night from a 12 Dawn Grove [resident] reporting her nine-foot boa may have escaped out the back door," said Officer Brian Quinlan of the Maynard Police Department. […]

Wade Warila, owner of Pets, Pets, Pets in Westford, said that with the temperatures as warm as they are right now, it is more difficult to tell where a boa such as the one that escaped might go.

"The thing probably didn't go too far," Warila said. "They should find the closest body of water and start looking in the trees."

According to Wilson, that is exactly what searchers did Thursday. The Fire Department even used thermal imaging equipment to try to locate the reptile, but later determined because the snake is cold blooded, the device would be little help, Wilson said. […]

I'm the one that's got it figured out
There's some… some good points, some bad points
But it all works out, I'm just a little freaked out
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