Ritual Basics 101 : How to Determine Whether Loki is Present at your Rites  by M-Taliesin Copywrite 1996,
previously Published in the Mountain Oracle Magazine

I believe that everyone who regularly practices the rites and rituals of
the  "Old Religion" will eventually find Loki has come by to join their
celebration.  Whether you are having a nice, quiet esbat with just a few
Covenmates, or officiating at Open Full Moon, you can bet your last
athame that sooner or later, Loki will come along to see what you're up to. 
You might say, with pretty fair accuracy, that Loki is the 'party
crasher' of the  Gods!  Here are a few clues that He is present.  The
more clues you see, the greater the likelihood it's Loki lurking in the
astral shadows of your ritual, having giggles at your expense.  You may
want to add this to your book of shadows, just in case.

The Burning Bush:
Don't laugh, I've seen it happen in more skyclad rituals than I care to
count.  Some Coven member, caught up in spiritual fervor, forgets how
close they are to the quarter candles or even those on the altar.  Soon
their fuzzy bits are ablaze.  You'll seldom see more cooperation among
Pagans than when this happens, and everyone starts patting out the
flame.  There was a Coven in Bugtussle Oklahoma during the mid 19th
century where this happened during the Yule ritual.  One Coven member
was so moved by the experience that he scribed the words to a popular
Yule tune still in vogue today: "Chestnuts roasting on an open fire."

Where's the Wine?:
After Circle is cast, and the Guardians called, the ritual grinds to a
screeching halt when time comes for Cakes and Wine; and it is realized
both are still in the kitchen.  A slick High Priestess will call for an
impromptu guided meditation while the High Priest cuts out of Circle to
fetch them in.

The Overly Familiar Familiar:
Everyone knows that animals are attracted to the Circle.  They sense the
energy and enjoy being in the cone of power.  This becomes
disconcerting, however, when the family pit-bull terrier attaches itself
to a Coven member's leg and resists all attempts to dislodge him.  For
this very reason, I suggest always keeping the scourge within easy
reach.  While it may have no impact whatsoever on the dog, it may serve
to enhance the experience for the Coven member.

The Reluctant Coal:
Have you ever had one of those coals in your thurible that simply will
not light?  You try everything, including an acetylene torch, until
forced to admit defeat.  The Coven spares little effort to disguise
their amusement as you settle for an incense cone instead.

Chemical Warfare:
Sooner or later, a Coven member will show up for ritual having consumed
their weight in beans.  Aside from noxious vapors, this can actually be
dangerous, depending on their proximity to the candles.  We once had an
entire wall of our altar room blown out when one of our folk
accidentally released 23 cubic yards of methane into the atmosphere.
The resulting explosion sent seven others to the hospital where they
were treated and released.  We were forced to build a new altar room
after the existing one was condemned as a toxic waste site by the
Environmental Protection Agency.

The Smoke Alarm:
With incense flowing from the altar room and into the hall, we once had
the smoke alarm go off.  The Coven decided to ignore it and continue
with ritual.  As the alarm blared, (the damn thing is really loud!) the
fellow next-door became concerned that we might be trapped a burning
house.  Imagine the awkward moment when the fire department stumbled
into the middle of our Great Rite!  This brings me to another point.

Lock the Darn Door!:
It can be equally awkward when mom drops by during that skyclad ritual,
particularly if she had no clue that you were Pagan in the first place.

Deodorant:
Aside from a traditional pre-ritual bath, it's a good idea to slip some
Right Guard into the pits.  It can really affect the mood of ritual when
the High Priest raises his arms before the altar, only to have half the
Coven pass out cold.  I have personally been on both sides of this
transaction and can state clearly, deodorant is a must in your ritual
preparations.

Newlyweds:
They show up for ritual, freshly handfasted, and spend the entire
evening in the south quarter doing kinky things.  Soon the Coven has
lost interest in ritual in favor of watching the couple fondle one
another.  As everyone settles down for a guided meditation, all eyes
closed, heavy breathing can be heard from the south.  Depending on their
stamina, the High Priestess may need all her creativity to keep the
meditation going long enough for the couple to finish whatever they're
doing.  This becomes increasingly difficult as the sounds evolve from
furtive little slurping sounds to the unmistakable fleshy slapping of
genitalia being banged together.  The High Priest may be led to provide
a special anointing of cold water as a blessing to their union.

It Was Dark, and There Were Many of Them:
During a dark-time ritual, in an altar room as dark as any moonless
night in a mine shaft, I raised my athame in salute as we dismissed the
quarters.  A pained whimper came from my wife who was standing directly
in front of me in the darkness. We all had a good chuckle over this,
once we got the bleeding stopped.

The Staple gun effect.
Occasionally, and often when the moon is full, a Coven member with
butter fingers will drop her athame, stapling someone's foot to the
floor.  While it is humorous to see the stricken party run around in
tight circles, it is a neighborly gesture to pull the athame out of
their foot.  Why is it that the sharpest athames have the slickest
handles?  A related hazard is the accidental Irish vasectomy syndrome.
This is very similar to the inadvertent circumcision.  "Gee, is that
your prepuce lying there, or do you just have a 'part' in the ritual?"

Outdoor Rituals:
Great care must go into the planning of rituals held outdoors.  We
attended a sunrise elevation ritual on the shore of a lake in the
mountains.  We arrived at the site while it was still dark.  As our rite
got underway, the sun rose slowly and majestically in the east.  It was
then that we realized we had cast circle only a few feet from the
junction of three trailheads.  As the ritual progressed, hikers came
along in increasingly greater number.  They stumbled upon the initiate
first, bound and blindfolded, sitting in the woods; while just a few
yards away, a dozen people with knives and dressed funny, danced and
chanted in true Heathen fashion.  Some would ask the initiate, "Hey,
pal, are you okay?"  The initiate, a quick witted lad replied, "Its a
fraternity initiation, don't worry about it."  Most were satisfied with
that answer and moved along.  As the sun rose higher, it seemed there
was more traffic on those trails than you'd see at your average
metaphysical fair.  I'm still amazed that we were not visited by the
park ranger.

Outdoor Rituals, part deux:
At the same ritual, as the sun rose over that beautiful mountain lake,
so did the mosquitoes.  There were millions of them, and all hungry.  A
prodigious amount of blood sacrificed in that particular ritual.  In
weeks following, two were treated for anemia.

Outdoor Rituals, the sequel:
At another site, in what was thought to be safe territory deep in the
forest, our skyclad ritual was temporarily brought to an abrupt halt by
the unexpected arrival of a Boy Scout troop doing a nature hike.  We
still believe the behavior of the Scout Master set a terrible example
for all those boys.  Who can say what emotional scars remain after
witnessing their leader strip off his uniform and charge naked into the
Circle screaming: "I wanna join!  Where do I sign up?"

Son of Outdoor Rituals:
Then there was my own second degree elevation ritual.  After a day that
had been sunny and warm, it was time for ritual.  As I was presented to
the East quarter, the wind came up, (air).  When presented to the South
quarter, the sky was suddenly filled with lightening, (fire).  By the
time we reached the West quarter, the rain started falling fast and
cold, (water).  As I was brought around to North, I wondered what Mom
would do for earth.  I found out as I was presented to the quarter. Hail
stones began falling on us all. earth) You might say we all got stoned.
 The balance of the ritual was completed in record time and we all
bolted back to camp.

The Vision Quest:
Then there was a Coven that went into the mountains to locate a site for
their Beltane ritual.  When they failed to return when expected, Search
and Rescue was dispatched to find the entire lot.  The Beltane rites
must have gone nicely, as two days later a second Search and Rescue team
was sent to recover the first.  Despite being embarrassed by all the
media coverage of their own rescue, all of them were smiling.

These are but a few examples of how the mischievous Loki can turn a
basic, traditional ritual into a bizarre, unexpected voyage into
weirdness.  I have no doubt you have seen similar manifestations of Loki
in your own rites.  Once you realize who is actually behind the events
disrupting your ritual, His power to create havoc is constrained.  Just
take a moment to collect yourself, smile slyly, and say in a loud voice;
"Loki, we thank thee for attending our rites.  Thank you for your mirth
and humor.  Now cut that out!"  Remember; though Loki may leave your
ritual in shambles, He is obligated to set things right for those who
take his tricks in stride.  It's just His way of getting attention!