Ladies and Gentlemen, you have on your screen today's Top Ten Lists
from the Diamond Comics' Home Office in Baltimore, MD
Our First Top Ten List:
TOP TEN REASONS WHY STAR WARS CHARACTERS WOULD KICK BUTT IN
THE STAR TREK UNIVERSE
10. In the Star Wars universe, weapons rarely, if ever,
set on "stun."
9. The Enterprise needs a huge engine room with an
anti-matter unit and a crew of twenty just to go into warp -- the Millenium
Falcon does the same thing with R2-D2 and a Wookie.
8. After resisting the Imperial torture droid and Darth Vader,
Princess Leia still looked fresh and desirable -- after pithy
Cardassian starvation torture, Picard looked like hell.
7. One word: lightsabers.
6. Darth Vader could choke the entire Borg empire with one glance.
5. The Death Star doesn't care if a world is Class "M"
or not.
4. Luke Skywalker not obsessed with sleeping with every alien he encounters.
3. Jabba the Hutt would eat Harry Mudd for trying to cut in on
his action.
2. The Federation would have to attempt to liberate any ship
named Slave I.
1. Picard pilots Enterprise through asteroid belt at
one-quarter impulse power. Han Solo floors it.
Our Second Top Ten List:
TOP TEN REASONS WHY WE'D RATHER LIVE IN STAR TREK UNIVERSE
THAN THE STAR WARS UNIVERSE
10. Any schmuck with a sob story can move the heart of the viliest
villian -- try that with the Emperor, boyo.
9. Star Trek: Clean, well-lit spaceships with stocked
bars. Star Wars: Broken-down old frieghters with smelly Wookies.
8. Enterprise goes to nice clean starbase for repairs. Millenium
Falcon lands in space-lizard guts.
7. No Dark Side of the Force in Star Trek.
6. Yoda may give better advice, but Troi is better looking.
5. No one ever kissed their sister (twice!) in Star Trek.
4. Teleporters in Star Trek make for clean, easy
transportation... as compared to cramped X-Wing fighters.
3. Tatooine: Dry, dusty hellhole. Rubicun III (Pleasure Planet):
pastoral world with half-naked babes and no moral restrictions.
2. No matter what a device was designed for in Star Trek,
you can always tinker with it and make it do something else entirely.