FOUND SCATTERED THROUGHOUT POCKET CALENDARS:
For peace of mind, resign as general manager of the universe. Larry Eisenberg
Time flies but you are the navigator. Unknown
A person all wrapped up in himself generally makes a pretty small package. E. Joseph Cossman
A skeptic is a person who, when he sees the handwriting on the wall, claims it is a forgery. Morris Bender
The most important thing a father can do for his children is to love their mother. Rev. Hesburgh
It is easy to take liberty for granted when you have never had it taken from you. Dick Cheney
Nothing in fine print is ever good news. Andy Rooney
Anyone can hold the helm when the sea is calm. Publilius Syrus
I am not afraid of storms, for I'm learning how to sail my ship. Louisa May Alcott
Getting people to like you is only the other side of liking them. Norman Vincent Peale
FROM ANN LANDERS' "GEMS OF THE DAY":
At age 20, we worry about what others think of us. At 40, we don't care what they think of us. At 60, we discover that they haven't been thinking of us at all.
Why can't life's significant problems hit us at 17, when we know all the answers?
Don't tell other people your problems.... Ninety percent of them don't care, and the other 10% are glad you have them.
FROM CALVIN & HOBBES:
I don't NEED to compromise my principles, because they don't have the slightest bearing on what happens to me anyway. Calvin, on being dumped in the bathtub by his mother
We have the highest standard of living in the world; too bad we can't afford it. Salada Teabag Tagline
Don't worry if your job is small and your rewards are few.
Just remember that the mighty oak was once a nut like you. Bullwinkle Moose
Why, for example, should a group of simple, stable compounds of carbon, hydrogen, oxygen and nitrogen struggle for billions of years to organize themselves into a professor of chemistry? What's the motive? Robert Pirsig
I don't want any minister to pray for me. But if you want a minister there to pray for the crowd, I won't object. Edward Rulloff, upon the event of his hanging (for robbery-homicide) in 1871 in front of a crowd of 5,000 picnickers in Binghamton, NY (source: Cornell Magazine, 10/96).
It makes a sandwich into a banquet.... It's new, it's improved, it's old-fashioned.... It gives you an erection that wins the election... It's the only product you'll ever need....
"Step Right Up", Tom Waits
The large print giveth, and the small print taketh away. "Step Right Up", Tom Waits
The piano has been drinking, my necktie is asleep... the juke box has to take a leak "The Piano Has Been Drinking", Tom Waits
(more quotes from T.W.)
Unfortunately, this is gone (sob). If anyone knows where it went please let me know!
It was Msimangu who had said, Msimangu who had no hate for any man, I have one great fear in my heart, that one day when they turn to loving they will find we are turned to hating. Alan Paton, Cry the Beloved Country
Language has created the word loneliness to express the pain of being alone, and the word solitude to express the glory of being alone. Paul Tillich
People are lonely because they build walls instead of bridges. Joseph F. Newton
FROM REAL LIFE:
Kids would be great if you could hang them in the closet when you're not using them. my friend Tom
They tell me to be patient because one day my ship will come in. With my luck, it will sink in the harbor. Me
My Grandmother (trying to make her daughter, my aunt, feel guilty about not spending more time with her): The Bible says "Honor thy mother and father."
My Aunt: But Jesus said that when you get married you should forsake all others.
Grandmother: He was wrong. Jesus was wrong. What does He know?
When she was 6 or 7, I took my niece to visit the Intrepid, which is a retired aircraft carrier, now a floating museum on the west side of Manhattan. We went all through and around the ship on a hot summer day. Later her mother reported overhearing the following conversation between Jenny and her dad.
Jenny: Daddy it was neat. There were planes on the top and they had just landed!
Dad (somewhat taken aback): They had??? How could you tell?
Jenny: Because I put my hand on them and the engines were still hot!
(Don't try that at home kids. Jenny is a professional.)
Updated: October 21, 1996
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