Dolly's Parentage


Fortifying myself with a pint of old Sheep Dip, an excellent Scottish whisky from the highlands east of the moon and south of Loch Ness, I approached my interview with the worlds' most famous sheep with a hint of trepidation.

After all, Dolly's parentage is now under question. No one else has been able to repeat the experiment that produced Dolly -- ie, cloning a sheep from an adult sheep cell.

Not that most researchers have a flock of sheep just hanging out, chewing grasses, waiting.

At any rate, in the interests of tough, investigative journalism, I was at her doorstep. She lives in a first level flat next to a haggis rendering plant, not far away from the abode of Dr. Ian Wilmut.

superimposed sheep photo
Which ewe are ewe?

After a touch of business (I am, after all, creating this website for her -- she has no computer skills to speak of), we got down to the interview. As promised, a hard-hitting one.

Q (me): Are ewe ewe?

A (Dolly): I'm me.

Q: Are ewe worried about all this turmoil about your parentage? I'm afraid that since no one else has been able to clone a sheep from another adult sheep, there is a suspicion that ewe are really a clone of an embryo cell. Your mother was pregnant. If she was your mother, and not your grandmother.

A: That's okay. We're all in the same family.

Q: It wouldn't bother ewe to lose your claim to fame?

A: Ian himself said it was a one in a million shot that he blew it. But, either way, I'm not going to lose my eweness. Descartes said it first: I bleat, therefore I am. How many sheeps have their own websites?

a Dolly blur Q: How can someone hunting for a mammary cell to clone miss and get an embryo cell instead?

A: Exactly. It's not much like a game of darts. Although if that's what he did, I could sue for malpractice. Hmmm...

Q: Maybe that's enough tough questions.

A: I can't answer them anyway. I wasn't there then. Well, as a germ of an idea, but, uh... whatever happened or didn't happen, it wasn't my fault. I didn't inhale. I'm not to blame. I plead the Fifth Amendment. Wrong country, I know. I only follow orders. I have the right to remain silent. I have the moral duty to silence my DNA.

Q: What sort of other projects are ewe up to?

A: Well, I feel I can make a few bucks on the following poster: I WANT TO BELIEVE

Q: Any final words?

A: Baaaa... Humbug.

Dolly's Cloning Emporium