Virtual Cloning is also known in less polite company as Spamming.

It occurs whenever companies with names like CyberSputum decide to spew out identical bulk mailings to two million hapless victims.

Virtual Cloning has been banned as unfair under the terms of the Geneva convention, or would have been, if they'd been paying attention to important matters such as this.


Another development has been in the field of virtually cloning oneself onto the Internet.

Imagine it: You could upload bits of yourself to the 'Net, and could be simultaneously accessed by websites across the world. There's streaming audio, there's streaming video, there's streaming olfactory; now there can be streaming YOU!!!

One problem with this fledgling technology is that complex individuals will just take up too much hard drive space, not to mention the size of the space they'd need to rent out from their Internet service providers...

The other problem is that you may find that you've downloaded an unsavory personage onto your precious gigabytes of space. ALWAYS BACK UP YOUR HARD DRIVE BEFORE ACCEPTING ANY STREAMING CLONE! You can deal with this invasion by arranging for a crash of your hard drive. In a few months, all the companies which create anti-viral software should be releasing anti-clone upgrades, but they may only be alpha or beta versions for now.

If you've downloaded a streaming clone which you like, remember that he or she is a clone of a fellow human. They're liable to get bored if you don't keep them amused, or pay attention to them. Fortunately, they'll obligingly go to sleep when you power down, and will hardly miss anything.


Dolly's Cloning Emporium