The selective use of cloning, gene modification, and transgenic biotechnology can be
used in the service of environmental awareness. There will be several benefits:
1. Animals whose numbers are endangered and/or animals with undesirable traits can be modified to survive, and survive well, alongside their human neighbors. Humans can carry on with pollution and wilderness encroachment just like in the good ol' days.
2. Pushing the environmental and the BioDiversifiable possibilities of these procedures may help us convince the left-of-center crowd of the pluses of cloning.
3. We can make money. This is an Emporium, after all.
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The Raccoon |
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We've already succeeded in cloning raccoons here at Dolly's Cloning Emporium.
What, you say, the world needs more raccoons??? Aren't there enough of them, raiding garbage cans and acting sick in daylight hours???
Well, we can't do anything about the garbage cans except suggest you keep them under surveillance in padlocked concrete bunkers, but we're close to beating the rabies!!!
As you can see, these raccoons aren't hydrophobic at all!!! 
We're going to make our variety hardier and tougher, 
so that they'll drive out the old, rabies-inflicted variety. Our initial litter of six,
pictured here, is a bold new step towards a bold new future of Designer Wildlife. It
is our hope, in the decades to come, to create myriad forms of wildlife which are
safe, friendly, and housebroken.
 Humanized Bipedal Tiger |
Except for a population in zoos, which seems to be inbreeding its own species, it seems
that the Siberian tiger of Asia is on its way to extinction. We here at Dolly's
Cloning Emporium have analyzed this problem, and have rooted out one of its causes.
Seems various body parts are important elements in certain alternative health
programs.
We believe in alternative health. But when the last tiger is poached florentine, whole avenues of Asiatic alternative health will dry up, and people will no longer be able to get healthy, much less live long, if their well-being depends on the tiger.
We are initiating a program to clone transgenic Siberian tigers. These tigers will express
all sorts of interesting extra body parts -- gonads, bones, and the like -- from pockets scattered
along the stripes that run down their flanks. Alternative medical harvesters
only need to stun the animal, snip off the material they want, and allow the tiger
to awaken. Like a salamander's tail, these extra parts will regenerate. These body parts will
contain all the essential tigerish micro- and macro-molecules that allow tiger-based
alternative medicines to work. |
Cloning Emporium
