Wildlife Cloning

Here, at Dolly's Cloning Emporium, we are always trying to find better and more exotic creatures to clone!!

Current Inhabitants: Spotted Owl, Raccoon, Siberian Tiger

The selective use of cloning, gene modification, and transgenic biotechnology can be used in the service of environmental awareness. There will be several benefits:

1. Animals whose numbers are endangered and/or animals with undesirable traits can be modified to survive, and survive well, alongside their human neighbors. Humans can carry on with pollution and wilderness encroachment just like in the good ol' days.
2. Pushing the environmental and the BioDiversifiable possibilities of these procedures may help us convince the left-of-center crowd of the pluses of cloning.
3. We can make money. This is an Emporium, after all.

The Spotted Owl owl

simple owl grafix

Celebrate wilderness by supporting our bid to clone the Spotted Owl. We are working hard at this endeavor, so far without success. We plan to incorporate genes which will permit this desired bird to survive and live well in unforested places far away from the howl of the woodcutter's chainsaws, such as over shopping malls and fast food outlets.

Indeed, our ideal bird will absolutely hate pristine, unspoiled forests.

Be the first on your block to sponsor your very own local Spotted Owl!! A logger will love you! What a hoot!


The Raccoon


We've already succeeded in cloning raccoons here at Dolly's Cloning Emporium.

raccoon3 raccoon4

What, you say, the world needs more raccoons??? Aren't there enough of them, raiding garbage cans and acting sick in daylight hours???

Well, we can't do anything about the garbage cans except suggest you keep them under surveillance in padlocked concrete bunkers, but we're close to beating the rabies!!!

As you can see, these raccoons aren't hydrophobic at all!!! raccoon5 in the water

We're going to make our variety hardier and tougher, so that they'll drive out the old, rabies-inflicted variety. Our initial litter of six, pictured here, is a bold new step towards a bold new future of Designer Wildlife. It is our hope, in the decades to come, to create myriad forms of wildlife which are safe, friendly, and housebroken.

The Siberian Tiger

Tiger standing tall
Bipedal Tiger
Except for a population in zoos, which seems to be inbreeding its own species, it seems that the Siberian tiger of Asia is on its way to extinction. We here at Dolly's Cloning Emporium have analyzed this problem, and have rooted out one of its causes. Seems various body parts are important elements in certain alternative health programs.

We believe in alternative health. But when the last tiger is poached florentine, whole avenues of Asiatic alternative health will dry up, and people will no longer be able to get healthy, much less live long, if their well-being depends on the tiger.

We are initiating a program to clone transgenic Siberian tigers. These tigers will express all sorts of interesting extra body parts -- gonads, bones, and the like -- from pockets scattered along the stripes that run down their flanks. Alternative medical harvesters only need to stun the animal, snip off the material they want, and allow the tiger to awaken. Like a salamander's tail, these extra parts will regenerate. These body parts will contain all the essential tigerish micro- and macro-molecules that allow tiger-based alternative medicines to work. tiger head

This will preserve both the tigers and a way of life. Or so we like to think.

(Tigers via Siberian Tiger Foundation)

"Where the Wild Things Are -- Dedicated to Making Them More Like Us"

Dolly's Cloning Emporium