FAMOUS A**holes I HAVE
KNOWN ch.7 ©Tommy
Mandel, 1999
(this chapter continues, in a mellower vein, some of my
Dire experiences with the Straits, 82-3!)
Dire Straits played the Prince's Trust in
1983, a yearly concert in London, where Prince Charles and Lady Di used
to invite their favorite artists to perform, the proceeds benefiting Charles'
favourite (!) charities.After a "pep talk" from "the Prince's Roadie",
probably Scotland Yard, or whatever James Bond's branch is, ("Don't address
the Prince directly, wait to be spoken to," etc.), we all lined up in a
reception line, and with Peter Townshend in his blue Bar Mitzvah suit as
Presenter, met the couple. Prince Charles was jolly, interested in our
work, and a fine conversationalist. "What exactly IS a synthesizer?" he
asked me, the only obvious Yank in the group. "A combination of a computer
and an organ, sir" was my answer. After the show, he excitedly complimented
me on my stage energy. (Being on stage with a fabulous band, in front of
a killer keyboard rig, and not being allowed to touch a key for the first
four minutes of a great song like "Sultans of Swing", which originally
had no keyboards on it, and now was supposed to support 2 whole keyboard
maniacs, left me in a state of rhythmic frustration, which I used to soothe
by jumping up and down in time to the beat. Townshend told me he found
it distracting but that his wife quite liked it. After my first show with
the band, Illsley had said to keep doing it; I guess the Straits tended
to be a bit cerebral about the show, and a little visceral motion was a
welcome addition.) So Prince Charles is ushered up to me and asks, "I admired
your energy....how do you stay so fit?!" I just told him I ate a lot. It
didn't seem right to burden his Royal Highness with my everyday band-generated
frustrations. He was also amazed at how much like a real piano my synthesizer
sounded. Apparently, from his royal box, keyboard player #1, Alan Clark's
stage position was obscured from sight. Luckily, Alan happened to be right
by me, and I graciously introduced the true Dire Straits pianist to his
Prince and future King, bowing out of the picture.
Lady Di was a bit of a tease, and her eyes are among the most
hypnotic that I have ever fallen into. They have a million silver blue
sparkling pebbles, and one is tempted to count them all. Later one finds
that he has been staring vacantly, oblivious to the rest of the world around
him. On the other hand, she IS a big woman, and when her magnificent eyes
are not trained on you, there is something equine to her appearance. So
she goes to me, "How long have you been with the group?" When I, with what
I thought was humility, told her that it had not been a long stint, and
that I did not even merit a replacement, so insignificant was I, she took
it as me saying that no one could ever possibly replace me; she raised
an eyebrow, impressed with my self posession and cheek. "Mmmmm," she hmmed.
George Martin was at the Dominion Theatre as well, and looked
very distinguished and silvery; I did not approach him. What could I say?
Actually, I should have asked him if the harpsichord
solo on "In My Life" is really recorded one hand at a time, at half speed,
which is my theory.
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