This one is just for fun!

	Past History by Zlanna@AOL.com



Prologue 
	
	"Commander, prepare your away team!"

	Deanna Troi watched Captain Picard give the order, holding Riker's
gaze for a split second before the First Officer turned, pointing at the
personnel he wanted with him. "Aye, Sir. Allen, Data." In an instant they
were gone leaving the bridge strangely empty without the presence of the
three men. Seating himself back in his command chair, the Captain gave
the Counselor a small, reassuring smile. This mission should not be so
dangerous as others, she thought. Go in with a shuttle, put down a few
mines and return to the ship so they could destroy a wayward asteroid.
It should be a piece of cake. Why then had Will been so scared? Deanna
knew Riker often had premonitions before missions. Usually they were
accurate. This time, he had experienced one that had scared him more
than any of the others, but he had appeared so calm and assured that
Troi was certain she was the only one who knew he had been shaken by the
feeling.

	Waiting was punctuated by Will Riker's sporadic reports of the
shuttle's position.  Long periods of silence were broken by the comments
of the away team as they reported their progress. So far everything was
routine.

	"Initial incoming data reports, Sir." Ensign Carter relayed.
"Shuttle approaching within 2 kilometers of the asteroid, 1.5
kilometers, 1 kilometer ahead of the asteroid."

	"Captain, the mines have been deployed." Will Riker's voice
reported, steady and calm as always.

	"Denotation in 55 seconds, Captain." Carter began his countdown.
"Detonation in 40 seconds, 35 seconds." Carter's voice reflected his
panic.  "Sir, the shuttle seems to be in trouble."

	Picard stabbed at the com link panel on his chair. "Commander Riker,
are you having problems?" Deanna felt Captain Picard's worry, heard the
slight increase in pitch in his voice and fought the quickening of her
own pulse. Out of the corner of her eye, she saw Picard leaning forward
in his seat as if to physically reach out to the men.

	"Allen here. Sir, we have lost our starboard stabilizers. They are
off-line. Commander Riker is attempting to correct the situation. We are
-- immobile." Deanna could feel the nervousness of the bridge officers
as everyone realized the potential for disaster as the asteroid
approached the shuttle, which was little more than a sitting duck at the
moment.

	"Captain, the shuttle is clear of the main asteroid, but the
Sellians' early attempt to put the asteroid off-course by detonating a
photon torpedo in its path has resulted in a trailing meteor field that
will overtake the shuttle's position in 2 minutes, 35 seconds." Carter
reported.

	"Commander, prepare to have your team transported out of the
shuttle." Picard ordered, his eyes having drifted to Deanna, his
reassuring smile returning, perhaps without his knowledge.

	"Just a moment, Captain, I believe that I can bring the stabilizers
back on-line." Riker's voice came in loud over the link. He appeared to
be straining as if speaking from an uncomfortable position.  "I am
attempting to patch through to manual override by rerouting the .."

	Everyone jumped as they heard the scream. Silence. Deanna stared at
the viewscreen, but there was no indication of any disaster with the
shuttle. With each passing second she expected some explanation but none
was forthcoming. Picard turned to Troi. His face was drained of its
natural color, a mirror of her own no doubt.

	At first Deanna was numb. Looking around the bridge dumbly, she knew
something was wrong, but she couldn't quite put her finger on what was
missing. Then Data's voice came over the communication channel,
something had gone terribly wrong. "Enterprise, beam Commander Riker
directly to sickbay."

	Troi's gaze locked onto Picard's. "Data?" Picard swallowed hard.
There was no answer. "Data, report!" Picard took a deep breath. Deanna
could sense the Captain strain to regain his control of his emotions.

	"He is alive, Sir." came the reply.

	Deanna Troi felt her chest contract in pain as she realized what was
missing, "No," she announced, "no, he is not."

	One look at the Counselor and Picard contacted Doctor Crusher.
"Picard to sickbay."

	"Just a minute, Captain." Beverly's voice revealed nothing. Picard
waited. Deanna felt the numbness return as she realized in the space of
the single heartbeat her world had changed forever. She should have been
prepared for his death, she thought she was prepared, having imagined it
so many times.  But nothing could prepare her for the emptiness. The
loneliness. Crusher's voice continued, "Captain, Commander Riker was the
only injury on the away team. His injury is...oh, damn. One moment."
Again the waiting. Suddenly, "Captain, I need a security team in sickbay
on the double." The communications link went dead, punctuated by the
doctor's exclamation, "Where is that security team! Lt. Allen, No!"

	Picard ran to the turbolift, then turned and stopped. "Counselor?"
She was already behind him. Duty. Will would have expected no less of
her. "Sickbay." Picard instructed the turbolift computer. Deanna stood
rigid, eyes straight ahead as if at attention in an Academy drill
exercise, aware of how distant she must appear to the Captain, but
unable to rid herself of the pain that was taking over her. Everything
seemed unreal to her, disconnected, dreamlike, but despite her denial,
she knew it was no dream. It was a nightmare to be sure, one she had
lived through night after night, but always before the nightmare had
proven unfounded. Always before she had awaken, her thoughts seeking him
out until she had made contact with his mind, reassuring herself that he
was safe. "Counselor, perhaps there has been a mistake." Picard was
watching her, his eyes reflecting an insight into her relationship with
Riker that she had not previously thought Picard had possessed. They
must have been so transparent to him in their foolish attempt to keep
their feelings hidden, although mostly they had hidden their feelings
from each other.

	"No mistake." Troi whispered. She gave Picard no other response
because if she had tried to talk anymore her voice would have cracked
and she would lose the precious hold she had on her control.

	The turbolift doors opened to reveal five security guards carrying
the huge, limp body of Lt. Allen. "Why isn't this man in sickbay?" Picard
backed out of the way, then turned to Deanna as if she might be able to
explain the strange scene.

	"Dr. Crusher sedated him, Sir.  We are taking him to the high
security brig." Second Lt. Wilson usually had an air of confidence about
him but he hesitated in front of his Captain.

	Picard stepped out of the way, allowing the team to drag the
unconscious Hunnari onto the Turbolift. "What is happening? What the
hell is happening?" he asked Troi.

	Deanna was staring at the Sickbay door at the end of the hall.
Walking as if mesmerized, her feet bearing her where she had no desire
to go, she was drawn to the large gray doors. She did not want
confirmation that Will was dead, but her mind demanded it. Picard,
shaking his head in bewilderment followed.

	Entering the sickbay Picard nearly ran into Troi, so abruptly did
she stop. "Will?" she whispered unable to make sense of what her eyes
saw. Picard smiled broadly as he saw his First Officer sitting on the
biobed talking quietly to Dr. Crusher. Glancing up at the Captain,
Deanna saw her own relief reflected in his smile. She walked over to the
bed, not saying a word, never taking her eyes off the First Officer of
the U.S.S. Enterprise.

	"Deanna!" Beverly was closing a small wound on the Commander's
forehead and seemed relieved to see the Counselor. "Will, do you
remember Deanna Troi our ship's counselor? Or Captain Picard?"

	Riker looked up at Deanna. She felt nothing from him. No special
sense of their bond, no sense of emotion beyond what she would feel from
any of the crew, nothing that drew her mind to his. There was no
recognition in his eyes but there was a curiosity there. He held her
gaze for several seconds.  He shook his head and lowered his eyes as
would a small boy unsure if he had done something wrong. "No. I'm
sorry."

	Crusher patted his hand. "It's okay, Will. I'm going to give you
something to let you rest.  We will talk more when you wake up, okay?"
The hyperspray took effect before the dazed Commander could reply.

	Everything made sense Deanna realized. He was not dead as she had
thought. Not dead physically, but their link which had sustained her all
these years had been snapped. She no longer had any special sense of her
Imzadi. Their special connection was gone. In a sense she had been right
-- to her mind he was dead.

	"What happened?" Picard asked, conscious of the Counselor's stare
still directed at the limp body of the Commander.

	"I don't know what happened on the shuttle. I'm sure Data can fill
you in on that." Crusher replied, still busy examining readouts on the
First Officer.

	Data walked over to the Captain. "Commander Riker was attempting
repairs and Lt. Martin was holding a small wielding tool. There was an
explosion in the bulkhead next to the Lieutenant and he discharged,
accidentally I believe, the wielding tool several inches from Commander
Riker's head."

	Crusher continued, "The laser was a very tightly controlled beam. 
It very neatly sliced a hole through the Commander's front, right lobe
in an upward direction to the left. Due to the small circumference of
the laser, the damage was not life threatening.  In fact he was
conscious when he beamed in." Doctor Crusher paused to let the report
sink in.

	Counselor Troi joined the group, never taking her eyes off of Riker.
"There is some damage though."

	"Yes, he is experiencing memory loss and some loss of motor control.
When he wakes up you will notice a slight stutter in his speech
occasionally.  I am not sure to what extent or whether he will regain
his memory.  The part of the brain affected controls memory, speech and
emotion. I am not a proponent of reducing artificially the swelling that
has occurred. I prefer to let the swelling of the damaged brain go down
on its own.  That will take several days. Once that happens, we will
have a better idea how great and how extensive the permanent damage is."
Troi watched Doctor Crusher examine a PADD that Dr. Selar handed her.

	"If it is permanent, he might regain his memory?" Slowly the
realization that he was going to be all right was penetrating the
fog that enveloped Deanna since the moment she realized she could not
sense him.

	"He will certainly gain some of it I imagine, Deanna, but I wouldn't
count on him ever regaining all of it.  His memory loss quite frankly,
is not the thing that I'm most worried about. I want to warn both of
you.  I do not think that he is going to wake up and be the old Will
Riker you are used to." Deanna looked up quickly,  recognizing the
warning in the doctor's voice.

	"What are you trying to tell us Beverly?"

	"I would expect that the effect may be similar to a small stroke. 
Are you familiar with the term 'stroke'?"

	Both Picard and Deanna shook their heads. Data supplied the
explanation. "Stroke was a medical condition that commonly strikes many
species.  It is induced in part because of poor diet, and in part is
hereditary. For this reason it is typically found in more primitive
societies. A massive stroke would cut off the supply of blood to the
brain resulting in death. More minor strokes result in reduced physical
and emotional capacities."

	"Correct." The doctor confirmed, walking around the biobed and
adjusting some of the controls. "Our medical science now knows how to
prevent the formation of the circumstances that induce strokes, but
several hundred years ago they were quite common."

	"Beverly," Deanna could sense the doctor's pessimism and though she
did not want to hear bad news, was compelled to ask, "what should I, we,
expect?"

	"The part of the brain affected is tied to his emotional responses. 
From my readings, I would say, be prepared for him to have less control
over his emotions than we are used to.  Reports indicate that victims
for example, cry more easily than normal, are less sure of themselves,
have wider swings in their emotions than before. I'm not saying that
Will will experience these things, but it is possible. He may experience
some or all of these symptoms for a short time and then they may go
away, or they may...remain."

	"You really don't know what to expect, do you?" Deanna challenged,
regretting the implied criticism, fully aware she was attacking the
messenger of bad news.

	"No, Deanna, I don't." Beverly replied gently.

	"All right. What happened with Lt. Allen?" Picard directed the
question at Data.

	"Lt. Allen was distraught that he had caused the injury to
Commander Riker and exhibited..." Data looked to Dr. Crusher for
confirmation, "suicidal tendencies."

	"The concept of an accident, seems foreign to a Hunnari." Crusher
shrugged.  "I filled him up with enough tranquilizer to give him plenty
of time to calm down."

	Picard nodded.  "Data, Doctor, I expect your reports first thing in
the morning." With that, he exited.

	Beverly walked over to Deanna and put her arm on her shoulder. 
"Come in my office and talk for a while."

	Deanna followed mutely.  In the office, she sat down staring at her
lap as if unable to meet the doctor's eyes.

	Patiently Beverly asked, "Do you have any questions for me?"

	"No."

	"I'm sorry I can't tell you he is going to be fine. Physically he is
all right. We repaired most of the obvious damage yesterday with no
trouble. His diet doesn't need to be restricted, even his physical
activities are only being restricted because of his lack of
coordination."

	Deanna nodded a deepening despair replacing the earlier numbness.

	"This might be temporary, remember."

	"Beverly, I can't exactly describe to you the connection that Will
and I have had."

	"What do you mean?"

	Deanna hesitated.  She had never revealed her link to Riker to
anyone on board, or in Star Fleet for that matter.  There were legal
implications of the link that could affect their careers if the
relationship were known. The Betazed government usually classified
Imzadi couples in the same category as married couples. "We are Imzadi.
It is a Betazoid term for a bond that some men and women share."

	"Not all men and women?"

	"No, it is quite complicated, really." Deanna still stared at her
hands in her lap.

	"I see." Beverly watched her friend. "Actually Deanna I don't see. I
can tell you are upset, but Will is going to be okay, even if it is a
rough road for him ahead. I mean he is alive, even if it turns out he is
unable to continue his career."

	"He might be unable to continue his career?" Deanna searched
Beverly's face for the answer that did not yet exist. "Why do you say
that?"

	"I don't know of course.  It is just that, well, we will have to see
how extensive the damage is. Deanna, he is alive though. We should be
grateful for that."

	"You don't understand Beverly." Deanna started to rise. "Our bond.
.. is gone. Broken. I feel so -- alone." Deanna turned and watched Will
through the glass window.

	"No, you are right. I don't understand." Beverly replied following
Deanna's gaze. "But humans form strong bonds of their own, I'm sure you
two could as well."

	"You don't understand." Deanna rose and left the room before the
tears could be seen. Blindly she went back to her quarters only to find
it impossible to sit still. She found herself pacing the floor, her
inability to focus her actions mimicking her inability to focus her
thoughts . She wanted to be with Will, but she stayed in her quarters
instead, knowing Crusher would just send her back anyway. Actually this
whole accident was probably Will's fault she thought. He really had no
business trying to repair the stabilizer.  He was the best pilot on the
shuttle.  He should have been at the shuttle controls and let Data do
the repairs.  It was just like him to try to get all the glory by
attempting the repairs himself.  "Troi to Data."

	"Data here Counselor."

	"Data, I have a question for you. Why was Commander Riker attempting
to do the repairs instead of you or Allen?"

	"I was directly interfacing with the on-board computer attempting to
manually restart the stabilizing sub-program and Lt. Allen did not have
the appropriate dimensions to conduct the repairs."

	"Appropriate dimensions?"

	"He was too large physically to fit under the console, Counselor."

	"I see." Troi frowned. "Thank you Data."

	Troi went to the replicator and ordered "Aruvian tea - hot."
Actually she realized in a sudden insight, Will was getting too old to
be heading up these away missions.  If he took one of the assignments as
Captain of his own ship, then he wouldn't be leading every away team on
every mission. She was going to tell him that.  Tell him that he was a
fool to stay on the Enterprise any longer. She was going to tell him he
should take the next promotion offered instead of hiding behind Picard.
She was going to tell him he had no business putting himself at risk
like that.  It was, it was inconsiderate of her.  He never thought of
what would happen to her if he was killed. He had no concept of what it
was like now that she was by herself after so many years totally alone,
without him to act as her anchor. Deanna caught herself. She smiled as
she imagined Will's reaction if she hinted he was getting too old for
away missions. Telling him once he was "seasoned" when he was
considering whether to accept promotion to captain of the Melbourne had
produced anxiety on his part for several days. No, perhaps that would
not be the best approach to take.  Her anger subsided a little.  She
would go back and visit him for a while.  She doubted he was awake but
she needed to see him again before she could ever hope to settle down for
the night.

	Sickbay was empty except for the small night shift when Deanna
entered. Nurse Ogawa smiled kindly and brought a chair over for Deanna
beside Riker's bed. Deanna closed her eyes, slowed her breathing and
concentrated, but there was nothing. The bond was gone. She watched him
sleep, then kissed him on the cheek and lay his hand on his stomach. She
turned to go and saw Beverly approaching.

	"He looks so peaceful asleep. Like a child." Deanna replied her hand
still resting lightly on his.

	"Yes. His vital signs look good. I will be doing some more
restoration work starting tomorrow.  We will see some rapid progress
initially I think. Then...time will tell." Beverly gave Deanna a smile.
"Let me walk you back?"

	"OK. Beverly, how many times have we found ourselves here watching
over him after some away mission gone bad?"

	"Too many."

	"You are lucky you know."

	"Why is that?" Beverly fell in step beside the Counselor as they
walked the quiet halls. The third shift had started and two thirds of
the crew were now asleep for the night.

	"Because Jean-Luc is already a Captain."

	"Hmmm.  Didn't help him much with the Borg, did it?"

	Deanna looked up quickly, but relaxed when she felt Beverly's mood
soften. "No, I suppose not."

	"Get some sleep.  I have a feeling tomorrow will be a long day,
Deanna."