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Zlanna@aol.com

Chapter 2
The Nervala IV Mystery

	Will woke early the next morning feeling better than he had
since the accident. He had a sub-space message from Kyle Riker that he
played while waiting for Deanna.
	"Will.  I was so sorry to hear about your accident, but Doctor
Crusher has told me that you are doing better. You've always been a
fighter. I know that you won't give in to this set back. Prove them
wrong. Show them you can still be Captain of your own starship. Show
them this isn't going to end your career. We Riker's aren't quitters. 
I'll be pulling for you, son. Let me know when you report back to duty."
	Will looked up from the console waiting patiently for Deanna to
come through the door. Moments later she entered. She was surprised to
sense his confusion after the progress he seemed to make the day before.
	"Deanna! I'm glad to see you. Have you had breakfast?"
	"No, I thought I would eat with you."
	"Good. My father sent a message. I want you to see it." 	
	"Are you sure? You usually prefer to keep such communications,
private." 
	"I'm sure." When the vid was over,
he looked up at her. "He's my father and I don't remember him at all."
	"You had a, a difficult relationship with him growing up, but a
few years ago you both reached an understanding." 
	
	Riker considered Deanna's words for a while. He took her hand in
his, holding it gently, quietly examining her fingers as if they were
nuggets of gold he had found. "Why is my career so important to him?" 
	Will raise Deanna's hand to his lips. He felt her start to draw her
hand away, then relaxing, she closed her eyes, his hand beginning to
caress her cheek. Her voice was distant when she answered. "I guess
parents often identify with their
children's successes. They feel a burden to see to it that their
children carry on for them."
	"Seems like he identifies more with my 'potential' failure. What do
you think?"
	"About what?" 
	"What would happen to us if I can't resume my 'career'?"
	"I don't know. It's too early to worry about that, Will.  Dr.
Crusher said it will be a long recovery process.  Let's just take it one
step at a time."
	"Okay. Computer, Service record William T. Riker." Will requested,
as if he had already forgotten the previous discussion about his father.
Deanna
looked over his shoulder as the file scrolled down the screen. "Damn,"
Will said, "I was good."
	Deanna's laughter was musical, filling the room with its tune,
warming Riker with its melody. "You are still good, Will."
	Will studied the record. Slowly the implications of the data in
front of him sunk in. "Deanna, I'm locked in Star Fleet, aren't I?"
	"What do you mean?"
	"My major at the academy was in 'tactical warfare'. How many
jobs outside of Star Fleet are there for experts in tactical warfare?"
	"I haven't thought about it, but I'm sure there are some. Why is
that a problem?" Deanna reached up, running her hand through his hair.
Riker felt himself relax immediately at her touch.
	" What if I can't be a Commander again."
	"Will, it is too early to think about that. Give yourself time.
It's barely been a week since the accident. Beverly said it will be a
slow recovery process."
	"I don't think there is a huge need for Commanders who get confused
when someone asks them a question or cries if someone
yells at them. If I can't continue as First Officer, there is not much
else for me to do, is there?  If I had been an engineer, I could leave
Star Fleet in a minute, or if I had been operations expert, or even a
doctor, but a tactical warfare expert?  Why did I limit my options like
that?"
	"Will, it is the field of choice for people who want command."
Deanna gently reminded him.
	"And that's what I wanted."
	Deanna smiled, placing special emphasis on the words, "More than
anything."
	"That's sad, don't you think?" Riker got up, pacing the sick bay
for a few minutes. Suddenly he stopped, returned to the biobed.  "It
doesn't make sense though."
	"What?" Will watched Deanna read as he scrolled slowly
up the file.
	"This makes no sense.  Why did I get this big promotion after
the Nervala IV mission?"
	"Well, they had difficulty retrieving you and you were the last
to be beamed up. Sending everyone else up first was a brave thing to
do."
	"So what? It was my job. That doesn't seem like a reason to get
a promotion. Can we bring up details of the mission?"
	"Yes, I suppose we can.  Will there is something you need to
know before we do.  A few years ago, the Enterprise went back to the
Nervala system and found that when the Potemkin had its transporter
problems, a duplicate of you was created."
	"A duplicate?"
	"Yes."
	"Like a twin?" Will asked. He found the idea of a twin reassuring
somehow. If he had a twin, maybe his twin could step in for him,
continue his career. Then his father wouldn't be upset with him.
	"Yes."
	Will wanted to meet this twin, except. Riker shot a quick look at
Troi. A twin could love Deanna too. "Where is he?"
	"Sit back.  This is a long story. Maybe we had better order our
breakfast first." Deanna said motioning for an orderly.

	Will was silent as Deanna finished describing Thomas Riker's
departure from the Enterprise and current detention in a Cardassian
prison. He tried to sound normal, but his voice carried his fear, "So,
you loved him, not me."
	"No, Will.  I didn't leave with Tom because, well, as I said at
the time, I didn't want to leave my position here on the Enterprise. 
The Enterprise is the flag ship of the fleet.  Counselor on any other
ship would be a step down for me."
	"Was there another reason?"
	"Yes, of course there was."
	"What?"
	"Tom Riker was no substitute for the real thing."
	Will took a deep breath before taking her hand in his. "Good."
Will reread the service report. "I shouldn't have gotten this promotion.
It makes no sense."
	"Well, Commander.  I wouldn't question it too much or they might
take it back!"
	"Who is they?"
	"Star fleet of course."
	"Who in Star fleet?" Will turned back to the console. "Computer,
who was the officer responsible for recommending William T. Riker for
field promotion after the Nervala IV mission."
	"The field promotion was endorsed by Captain Jasko of the Potemkin."
the computer responded.
	"Endorsed? What does that mean, endorsed?" Will directed the
question at Deanna, but the computer answered.
	"It means the promotion was recommended by Captain Jasko, who in
turn supported the recommendation." 
	Will stared at Deanna for a moment trying to sort out the
mystery.
	"Computer, who made the initial recommendation?" Deanna asked.
	"Initial recommendation made by Admiral Xarkli." The computer
responded.
	"Admiral Xarkli?" Deanna stared at the screen.
	"Who is Admiral Xarkli?" Will asked.
	"The only Betazoid admiral in Star fleet."
	"Why would he recommend a promotion for me?" Will asked, already
picking up on Deanna's confusion.
	"I, I don't know. You were very much admired on Betazed after
the Sindareen incident. Many of our leaders were furious that Star fleet
gave you no promotion then.  It could be that Admiral Xarkli used the
Nervala IV mission as an excuse to reward you for your handling of the
Sindareen attack on Betazed." Will waited patiently. Deanna
asked,"What?"
	"Sindareen incident? This has to be an interesting story."
	"Why do you say that?"
	"I read my service report. I was stationed for over a month on
Betazed. This has to be time I met you, right?"
	"Yes, it was during this time that we met."
	"And you fell in love with me the first time you saw me." 
	"What conceit, Commander."
	"Did you?"
	"Yes, Commander."
 
	Will leaned over and kissed her just as Doctor Crusher came in.
"Well, I can see you are doing better today."
	Will grinned, "Yep."
	"I meant Deanna." Not missing a beat, Crusher continued, "Will, I
see no reason to keep you here any longer.  I'm issuing a schedule for
you to report for additional sessions but, I'm officially discharging
you from sickbay.  I want you to take it easy. No exercise, no holodeck
activities, stick close to your room for the first day or so. You
haven't been up much for the past few days. Take it easy. Stay off your
feet as much as possible. Get lots of rest.  If I find that you aren't
obeying me, I'm going to strap you down on this biobed.  Got it?"
	"Got it."
	"Oh, and go easy on the Captain. He doesn't handle humor about
his personal life too well." Crusher turned to Deanna before admitting,
" 
It took Jean-Luc an hour of small talk before he had finally admitted
Will's 
question about his
marital status and a half hour discussion to convince the Captain that
Will's lack of discretion was probably due to his injury and not
insubordination."

"Am I in trouble?" Will asked, hanging his head low, wondering just what
a Captain did if someone made him mad.

"No, Will. Its good to see you still have your sense of humor, but don't
let it land you in the brig." 



	Deanna was embarrassed leading Riker down the passageway when
she saw more than one crew member glance at their linked hands. She
could sense the confidence he had started to show in the sick bay had
vanished in the unfamiliar passageways of the Enterprise, so she didn't
protest. His grip tightened as the trip progressed. "Here, these are
your quarters." she said as they stopped in front of his door.
	Riker looked at the door, as if debating what to do next. Deanna
leaned
close to him, "Mine are next door," she whispered.
	He grinned for the first time since they left the Sick Bay. "Then I
like them already. Do you know my access code?"
	Deanna smiled back. "Yes, I do Commander and no wise cracks." As
she entered the code, she proceeded into his cabin.
	Behind her she heard, "The question is did I know your access
code?"
	"So, anything look familiar?" she asked, ignoring his last
comment.
	"No, but I didn't expect that it would." He walked immediately
over to a picture of the two of them on a side table. "Cute couple. No
beard." He raised his eyebrows.
	"It was taken on Betazed when we, before you left the last time."

	She expected him to say something but he simply stared at the
picture, then looked around the room. He went to the desk and picked up
a book.  Opening the cover he smiled when he read what she had written.
	He sat down at the desk, pressing the button to open the first
drawer. Its contents were neatly arranged PADDs which Riker began to
examine.
	Deanna went to the replicator and ordered a coffee black
and hot chocolate. She returned a few minutes later handing Riker the
coffee, which he tasted and than, making a face, put it down on the
desk.
Did you draw this?" Riker pulled out a drawing pad with a pencil drawing
of Deanna and him. "It's the photo, but drawn by hand."
	"No, I didn't draw it." Deanna took back her hot chocolate and
laughed seeing Will's frown.  She went over to the replicator and
ordered another hot chocolate.
	Turning the picture over, Will read from the back, "WTR, 2361. 
I guess I did."
	"I didn't know you drew." Deanna handed him the hot chocolate
and came over to get a better look at the picture, remembering the
phaser cutting Tom Riker had done of Janaran Falls. 
	"Did you know I wrote poetry? Bad poetry?" Will grimaced as he
read the padd in front of him.
	"Let me see.  Oh, you always were too critical. This is nice."
	"I think it is corny!"
	"No you don't. Can I read it?"
	"I don't see why not. Its about you, I'm sure."
	"Will, actually, you have a reputation as quite a lady's man.
You have not been -  saving yourself for one woman these years here on
the Enterprise."
	Riker busily investigated the contents of the drawer as he gave
his answer. "Yes, I was."
	"No you weren't. I wouldn't be so sure the poems are about me. 
You never gave me a copy of any of these."
	"I wouldn't write about anyone else."
	Deanna glanced up sure he was teasing, but instead saw him open
another drawer. He pulled out a box with two interwoven
hearts carved into the top. The box requested a password to open.
After a half hour of guessing they gave up, Will sat the box out on the
desk to try again later.
	Once they had investigated the desk, Will's attention turned to
the computer console. "Should we start with my personal logs?"
	"If you want. Do you want me to leave? They might contain things
you would rather I not hear."
	"Deanna, I don't have any secrets from you.
Password required. Great! Got any new ideas?"

	Deanna was reading the poem in her hand, not concentrating on the
password problem. "Maybe there is a pattern to the
passwords.  When do the logs start?"
	"At the Academy. That's sure to be boring. Let's start with
Betazed." 
	"I don't know, the Academy might be interesting. I'm sure there
are stories there I haven't heard."
	Will frowned. "Okay, start with Betazed." Deanna agreed.
	"Password." Will requested.
	"Let's see. Places on Betazed? The University? Jalara, Jungle,
Jalara Jungle"
	"Why would I name the jungle?"
	"I  have a feeling the logs will tell you. Anyway, it doesn't
seem to work."
	Riker got up and walked over to the couch where Troi was sitting. 
He slid a leg behind her, wrapped his arms around her and leaned back
against the pillow on one end of the couch, pulling her back with him so
that her back rested on his chest, his arms wrapped around her.
"Comfortable? Where is the first place I met you?"
	Deanna tried not to think about the position she was enjoying, her
back against him between his legs. He didn't seem to have any ulterior
motives, so she assumed he had none, but it was incredibly difficult to
concentrate feeling his chin on top of her shoulder, his breath near her
ear. She nodded in answer to his first question and replied, "The
chapel." to the second.
	"File open." The computer intoned. "Lieutenant Riker supplemental.
Deanna if you are listening to these logs, then I can presume I am dead.
If you don't want to keep them, that is all right, just do me a favor
and destroy them. If you decide to listen to them, remember, all was not
as it seemed. Look for the mysteries if you want. Solve them if you can,
I am bound not to help you. Remember, we don't always like the
revelations mysteries reveal. There are things I've wanted to tell you,
but I tried to pick the path that I thought would cause you the least
pain. Forgive me if you don't believe I made the right choices. My
options were limited. You know I love you. Remember that, if you ever
doubted it, I'm sure these logs will reflect it."

 "Personal Log: William T. Riker. This afternoon, I met Mark Roper for
the first time. He is an overworked beaurocrat without a doubt, but a
kindly one, though a little preoccupied with everyone else's sexual
activities. He had his fun with me tonight though. Still, it was worth
it. Like an idiot I volunteered to go for him to a wedding. His calendar
was overbooked and I thought I would make a good first impression by
helping him out.  Only thing was no one told me that weddings on Betazed
are conducted in the nude, hosts and guests included. Still, I saw this
most amazing girl, who was the equivalent of the maid of honor - Deanna
Troi. (There was silence for several minutes on the log. Will couldn't
see Deanna's face, but he thought he could almost feel her embarrassment
as she stared intently at her shoes. He brushed his hand through her
hair, kissing the top of her head lightly. She reached up taking his
hand in hers.) She probably could read my thoughts which weren't very
polite at the time, I'm sure. There was this moment, when she looked at
me. It seems now when I think of it that we looked at each other for
hours, but it must have only been for a few seconds. I felt like I knew
her somehow, that I had always known her, but I would have remembered
meeting her. She had the prettiest smile. I can close my eyes and still
see her smile. I'm sure she thinks I'm an idiot. At the reception the
bride throws a headband and she caught it.  Wendy Roper, my escort for
the evening, says the significance to catching the headband means that
the love of your life is present at the wedding. Someone should have
told that tradition to Deanna - she wouldn't even look at me at the
reception. She seems very aristocratic. I imagine a Lieutenant is too
far below her. I'll ask Mark about her tomorrow. I'll bet he knows her.
Wendy Roper is very interested in me, unfortunately. Always seems the
girls you want to be interested in you don't know you are alive and the
girls you wish didn't know you were alive are interested in you."
	"Personal log, William T. Riker: Mark Roper is a leech, it's no
wonder his daughter is such a flirt. I went by the university today. It
only took me three hours to locate Miss Troi, who is definitely not
interested in me. She thinks I'm a creep. She makes me feel like I'm a
creep. I guess I should probably forget her, but I can't. If I could, I
wouldn't be dictating this log instead of sleeping at 0300 hours. There
is a reception for the Rigelian ambassador at the Federation embassy
tomorrow night. Mark thinks that Deanna Troi might be there with her
mother. Of course, she probably won't speak to me."
	"Personal log, William T. Riker." 
	"End log." Will requested. "So am I boring you?"
	Deanna looked up. "Well, it is a little interesting to listen to
your side of things."
	"You want to swap personal logs?" Will laughed.
	"No. I'm hungry. Let's have dinner. What would you like?"
	"You order. You know what I like better than I do." Will watched
her go over to the replicator and begin inputting the dinner requests.
"You do that like a professional." he said.
	"Actually, you are the cook, Commander."
	"Really? I don't remember. Anyway, don't call me that."
	"What?"
	"Commander. I don't like it."
	"Will, you love people calling you that."
	"I don't feel like a Commander."
	"What do you feel like?"
	"Out of control."
	After dinner, Deanna turned to Will, brushing her hand through
his hair.  "It's late, I should let you go to bed." She felt his anxiety
immediately.
	Reaching up she kissed him. He gently pulled her to him, extending
the kiss. Slowly their kissing became more passionate. "Will," Deanna
began, "Do you want me to stay?"
	"Would you?"
	"Yes." They kissed for several minutes. Deanna waited for him to
move his hands from behind her back to more sensitive areas, but instead
he seemed content to simply kiss. The longer she waited, the more
focused she became on the fact that he seemed in no hurry to move beyond
kissing. For his part, Will couldn't believe that she was letting him
kiss her. He hadn't known there was more than one way to kiss. There was
a lot more to this kissing than he had envisioned. He experimented with
the kissing, enjoying the taste of her.

	Just as Will got used to the feel of Deanna's smooth tongue, she
reached behind her, taking his hand in hers and guiding it where she
wanted it. Shocked,  as soon as she let his hand go, he moved it away,
breaking away from her embrace. Embarrassed, he
stepped back, staring at the floor.
	He couldn't meet her gaze.   Damn! He felt like a fool for
pulling back but she had surprised him.  Finally, he had her alone in a
room without Doctor Crusher watching their every move and just as he was
enjoying kissing her, she had wanted him to touch her. It wasn't as
though he hadn't noticed her figure, he just hadn't thought about
touching it. He was still surprised she even let him kiss her.
Confronted by the fact that she was ready for things he hadn't even
started to imagine, he was scared. He wanted to kiss her, but he was
afraid if he tried, she would want him to touch her again and he wasn't
sure if he should or where or how or if he would do it right.

	"Will, I'm sorry. I can sense your fear and confusion. You're not
ready...We have plenty of time. In fact, taking things slowly is
probably a good idea."

	Will looked up at her. "I like kissing." he said, turning red at
her laugh.
	"I can tell. I like kissing you too." Reaching out she took his
face in her hands, stoking his beard and resumed their kiss. He started
to relax and then she pulled back. "I guess I should go."
	"I thought you wanted to stay." His disappointment was evident in
his tone.
	"Well." Deanna hesitated.
	"You could sleep with me you know. The bed is big enough."
	"What a novel idea. I guess I could just sleep." Will returned
a tired smile when she laid her hand on his cheek. "So,
let's go to bed."
	"Okay, but no pillow fights." If he was joking, he wasn't smiling.

	Lying in the bed next to Deanna, Will turned on his side away
from her, feeling her presence in his mind.  He shut his eyes, glad she
had agreed to stay. He liked having her so close to him. He was already
regretting his actions before. He had been an idiot to have pulled away
from her. Any man on the ship would have wanted to touch her like that,
but it had happened too fast. If he had some warning, maybe he wouldn't
have been so embarrassed. If he got a chance tomorrow, he decided, he
would not draw away. Closing his eyes, he could recall just how soft she
had felt.  The thought alone made him want to turn around and kiss her
again, but he had missed his chance. He fell asleep smiling at the
memory of touching her. Yes, tomorrow if he got the chance, he decided,
he was definitely going to do that again. His chance came a few minutes 
later when he felt her run her fingers lightly against his back.

	Deanna awoke several hours later and was content to watch Will
sleep. Years ago, she would deliberately wake up early just to watch him sleep. 
The last night they had spent together at Janaran Falls she had stayed up the whole night,
trying to memorize everything about him, his mannerisms, his breathing,
the curve of his eyebrows, the shape of his mouth. She thought she was
storing the images for six weeks, but it had turned out to be for two
years. She watched his eyes open, slowing focusing on her as she watched
him sleep.  This time there was no hesitation on his part when Deanna drew herself
close to him, pressing her lips against his. Responding enthusiastically, he
followed her lead, letting her guide and teach him and together they did indeed
create the new memories he had lost.


	As the two of them held on to the other, Deanna heard the faint
call. Closing her eyes, she clung to Will as she tentatively discovered the last
shreds of the bond that she had assumed was broken forever. As her body claimed its
release, so too did her soul as she once again reveled in the bond she cherished so
deeply. Collapsing beside Riker, Deanna heard him whisper the word with awe, "Imzadi." 
	"Yes, Will. Imzadi. Do you remember?"
	"No, but I knew there had to be a word to describe this, this
feeling."
	Closing her eyes, Deanna fell asleep against her lover, fulfilled in
a way she had missed for years.
	Several hours later, Deanna groaned as she checked the chronometer, 
realizing they didn't have much time until Will's appointment with Doctor Crusher. 
Leaning over, she kissed his temple, then laid back on the bed. He opened his eyes 
to see her watching him. His smile reminded her of so many he had given her, but
the force of the change in him struck her as strongly as if someone had
slapped her. Now that she had reestablished her bound with Will, she
sensed for the first time the extent of the difference in him. The Will Riker she knew
was so alert,  so determined, so driven in every aspect of his life. This man, who 
had the emotions more of a boy, was more peaceful, more accepting, more confused 
than she had ever felt her Imzadi. It was if she were sensing another person. Before
their link had been reestablished she had known that he was disoriented,
but she had no idea the extent of the damage to his thought processes
and emotions. "Stay here." she commanded retreating to the living room
to recover before he picked up on her shock.
	She disappeared for over ten minutes. She knew he would begin to
worry why  she had left so she quickly reappeared with hot chocolate for both of
them and orange juice. 
	"Deanna." he called. "I think I know the password!"
	"Which password?"
	"To the box." Will jumped out of bed, hesitating at his own nudity,
shrugged and ran to the desk. He picked up the box, "Imzadi". The box
opened. 
	Deanna was at his side. "What is inside?"
	"A receipt for a safe in a storage drawer."
	"Let me see. This storage drawer is a facility on Betazed!"
	"So there is something I put in storage on Betazed - how long
ago?"
	"Will, I don't believe this!"
	"What?"
	"The date.  Look at the date." Deanna stared at the paper. "This
date is two days before you were supposed to meet me on Risa."
	"Why were we meeting on Risa?" 
	"To get married."
	"Get married?  But Dr. Crusher said we weren't married! Are we"
Will's voice dropped to a whisper, "Are we divorced?"
	"No!" Deanna planted a lingering kiss on his lips. "You never came
to Risa. 
	You got the promotion for the Nervala IV mission, and you decided it
would slow your
career down to be married. I waited for you, but you never came."
	Will turned, walking slowly to the bedroom. Deanna followed. She
could feel his anger at himself over a choice he had made that he could
not remember. "Will, it's okay. It was a long time ago. You were very
young." She pushed his hair back.
	"No. It's not okay." He still faced away from her. "I would have
been there Deanna. If I could have, I would have been there."
	"Will. Maybe you would have, but Lieutenant Commander Riker
never came. There is one thing I don't understand." She ran her fingers
lightly against his back sending a wave of excitement through him.
	"What?" Frustration and anger still tinged his voice though he
reacted to her touch she noticed.
	"You were four days out of space dock on the Pegasus the day
this receipt says you were on Betazed. It does appear to be your
signature. How could you be both places?"
	"Tom Riker?"
	"No. He was still on Nervala IV."
	"What were you doing on Betazed?" Deanna repeated to herself.
	"I'm more curious what is in the storage drawer."
	"I could send this to my mother and ask her to retrieve it for
you."
	"No. No I don't want to do that. Doctor Crusher said that when
we dock at Space Station 204, I could probably get permission to take
shore leave. How far is Betazed from there?"
	"Two day trip by transport ship."
	"I'd like to see Betazed anyway. Would you go with me?"
	"You know I would."
	"Doctor Crusher to Riker." Crusher's voice came over the
intercom.
	"Oh, no!" Deanna cried.
	"Oh, yes, Counselor! Will was supposed to report five minutes ago to
sick bay. I don't like waiting for patients."
	"We will be there in ten minutes." Deanna smiled at Will, who
was already beginning to get upset at Crusher's tone. "Come on, you have
time to take a shower before we go and I have time to get dressed!"
	Will put his arms around her waist. "You could come with me."
	"We'll be late.  It is not a good idea to make Beverly wait!
Come on, if you hurry, I'll have time to walk down with you before my
first appointment." Deanna watched him pout, then turn slowly to take
the shower. In many ways he was like the man who had embarked on the
fateful away mission a week ago, but Deanna wondered how much of that
man was trapped in the confusion that reigned in his mind in the wake of
the accident and whether the Will Riker she had served with for the past
twelve years would ever return to her. Before her link was
re-established she had still assumed despite everything, that 'her' Will
Riker still existed, minus a few memories perhaps, but that the essence
of the man still remained. She was beginning to doubt that was true. Now
she felt the full impact of his struggle to sort out even minor choices.
She returned to her quarters, fighting the deep sadness that had started
to envelope her over the loss of 'her Will' as she was beginning to
think of him, creeping upon her despite the earlier joy she had
experienced from reuniting with her Imzadi. Her Imzadi? Deanna fought to
drive away the gripping fear that 'her' Imzadi was lost to her forever
replaced by a stranger whose emotions were much different, much less
compelling than 'her Will'.
	

End of Chapter 2