IMPORTANT INFORMATION FOR BANDS APPEARING ON ROCK MY ASS!


Four episodes of "Rock My Ass!" are shot in a single day, so there is a good deal of activity in the building on these days. We, as producers, will have our hands full trying to keep things on schedule and avoid unnecessary delays and problems, so we must ask for your cooperation in a few key areas.

The building where the show is shot does not belong to us - everyone involved in this production is a guest of the building, which is as much an office as it is a studio. Please respect the property and stay out of areas where offices are located. Smoking in the building is absolutely prohibited in all areas. The video cameras and recorders (and the producers themselves!) are very sensitive to smoke, so we would appreciate it if you smoke outside.

VERY IMPORTANT: Absolutely no alcohol or controlled substances are allowed on the premises. This is a television studio, not a nightclub, and any bands or audience members found using these substances will be immediately asked to leave - whether they have performed yet or not. We are totally serious about this!

Bands *are* encouraged to invite an audience of their own friends, families, and fans. But remember: if, for some reason, the live audience is small (or none - this has happened) play the show the best you can anyway. Remember the ultimate audience is the one at home, and the cameras will not lie about your performance and enthusiasm.

Bring whatever cables and effects boxes you would normally use onstage. If you have special/preferred drum microphones or other pickup devices, please bring them. Our equipment changes from show to show depending on availability - our permanent supply is four direct boxes, four SM57 vocal/instrument microphones, and five Beta 58 vocal mics. Our soundman usually has a few spare microphones as well as drum-specific microphones and a reverb unit, but we don't have a specific inventory of what he may bring. Any special requirements beyond that: please be prepared. We also recently added some animated lights and we use a bit of smoke to make them stand out. If you have any cool lighting effects you want to bring, do so and we'll try to fit them in.

At all costs, avoid long pauses between songs! The studio audience may perceive this as normal for a live performance, but TV viewers will see it as dead air and start flipping channels. In a small room such as ours, it's a big temptation to just talk directly to the audience, but remember you are also performing for TV viewers in the "audience of the future," and unless you talk directly into the microphone, the videotape will not pick up what you're saying. This happens frequently, and on the air it amounts to dead silence. We don't edit the show - it airs as a "live-to-tape" production.

"Rock My Ass!" is distributed among several different cable systems covering much of the Chicagoland area. These cable systems have rules to which we must adhere... one unfortunate rule is that you are not allowed to give phone numbers or addresses where people can reach the band, but "Rock My Ass!" is allowed to have an information hotline, so all inquiries regarding your band will be forwarded to you by us. Giving out band hotlines or addresses is perceived by these cable systems as advertising, and is not allowed by them. We have been warned that shows with such 'advertising' (or profanity, I should mention) will not be accepted for cablecast. On a similar note, please don't bother plugging upcoming shows, because by the time your episode airs, they will be *past* gigs, and some cable stations hang on to older episodes and air them as reruns in the future... so you never know how far in the future the show will wind up being played again.

We realize this sounds like a lot of rules, but past experience has shown us that these are indeed points worth bringing up before bands perform, to avoid potential problems. In essence, "Rock My Ass!" is dedicated to being a creative outlet for Chicago area musicians to reach a wider audience. We, as producers, are bound by certain obligations to the owners of the facilities where the show is videotaped as well as where it is seen, and in order that we may continue to provide this type of programming to bands and viewers alike, we must ask that our guests help us adhere to our own guidelines.

"Rock My Ass!" is not a money-making venture for anyone involved. No one involved with the production accepts any form of payment for their time or equipment. If anyone asks you for money, they do not work with us.

You can bring a blank VHS tape to the taping, and we will make a single copy for you after the shoot.

*** IMPORTANT *** If you get a copy of your appearance on the show, you are not allowed to sell it or make any other profit from it. The music within is protected by your own copyright, but the show itself is copyrighted to Destruction Productions (and TCI owns 50% of the program because we are using their facilities), and any use for profit by anyone is prohibited, although you are encouraged to use it as a part of your demo package as long as no part of the tape is ever SOLD or RENTED.

We're near a shopping mall with a food court so grabbing a bite to eat while you're in the area won't be a problem.


Again, the key points we'd like to stress about performing on the show:

1. NO ALCOHOL OR OTHER INTOXICANTS. Please don't roam around the building... it's a working office for TCI of Illinois and the are many areas which are off-limits to visitors.

2. Bring an audience if you like or if you can but be prepared to perform without one if it comes to that.

3. The show is 30 minutes long, so be prepared to perform for 35 minutes so we can fade out on you while you're playing... don't try to end with the timeslot - that *never* works no matter how sure you are that it will.

4. Don't plug merchandise/gigs or give phone numbers on the air... we will be sure to forward any viewer feedback or requests for information to you.

Cable systems will refuse any program with blatant advertising.

5. Don't pause or delay between songs... it amounts to dead air, in which viewers will flip channels out of boredom. 5 seconds of silence is an eternity on TV.

6. Have fun with your performance - the cameras won't lie about your attitude; if anything, they'll magnify it... if you're not having a good day, your at-home audience will be keenly aware of it.

7. TCI of Illinois does not produce nor endorse the show... Mike Hoffman and Mark Menshing produce it and it will be seen on cable systems owned by several different companies... we cringe at bands thanking TCI for having them on the show! TCI has nothing to do with it except for owning the studio facilities. If you want to thank someone on-air, thank *us*!


Simple version of the directions from the Edens:

94 toward Milwaukee

Exit OLD ORCHARD BOULEVARD. Turn right (east) at end of ramp.

Continue EAST on OLD ORCHARD BOULEVARD to GROSS POINT ROAD (approx. 5 lights)

Turn RIGHT on GROSS POINT ROAD (now headling SOUTH) There are no stoplights or stop signs... just continue several blocks and look for the left turn lane at PAYNE STREET. Turn LEFT there, into studio lot. Enter on street side of the building.

* * STUDIO PHONE NUMBER * *

(847) 674-9505

Please use this number ONLY on scheduled shooting days. The producers cannot be reached at this number any other time and no one there will take messages for us.


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