The Humor Library

1995/1996 Attorney Bag Limits

General

1. Any person with a valid drivers licence may harvest attorneys.
2. Taking of attorneys with traps or deadfalls is permitted. The use of currency as bait is prohibited.
3. Killing of attorneys with a vehicle is prohibited. If accidently struck, remove dead attorney to roadside and proceed to nearest carwash.
4. It is unlawful to chase, herd, or harvest attorneys from a snowmobile, helicopter, or aircraft.
5. It shall be unlawful to shout "whiplash", "ambulance", or "free Perrier" for the purposes of trapping attorneys.
6. It shall be unlawful to use illicit substances, $100 bills, ladies of the night, or vehicle accidents to attract attorneys.
7. It shall be unlawful to hunt attorneys within 200 yards of courtrooms, law libraries, houses of the night, health spas, bars, ambulances or hospitals.
8. If an attorney is elected to government office it shall be a felony to hunt trap or possess them without special license.
9. Stuffed or mounted attorneys must have a state health department certificate of vermin inspection.
10. It shall be illegal for a hunter to disguise himself as a reporter, legal clerk, sheep, accident victim, bookie, or tax accountant for the purpose of hunting attorneys.

Bag Limits

Yellow Bellied Sidewinder                    2 
Two Faced Tortfeasor                         1 
Back Stabbing Divorce Litigator              4 
Big Mouthed Pub Gut                          3 
Honest Attorney                        EXTINCT 
Cut Throat                                   2 
Back Stabbing Whiner                         3 
Brown Nosed Judge Kisser                     2 
Silver Tongued Drug Defender       $100 Bounty 
Hairy Tushed Civil Libertarian               4 
Tax Attorney                                10 

IMPORTANT NOTE
This is a dead web site. I have moved my web presence to several different sites:

• Personal Information: http://www.michaelandrochellessite.com/
• Professional Information: http://www.alderete.com/
• Consulting Information: http://www.aldosoft.com/

Please visit me there instead. Thanks!
-- Michael, October 2000