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The Humor Library |
A friend of mine sent this to me. This is her introduction to the piece:
A programmer that I was working with sent this file to me as a test file. It was a little something that he wrote for that special purpose. I think programmers should have a mandatory exercise hour...they really need to get out more.
Mary Had a Little Lamb
Mary had a little lamb
whose fleas were black as sod,
and everywhere that Mary went
the lamb would act like god.It followed her to work one day
which really was quite fine,
because the lamb converted
all the water into wine.Mary had a little lamb
whose fleas were black as sod.
Wherever little Mary went
the lamb would say, "Oh God!"It followed her to work one day
which caused alot of grief,
because the lamb would sing and dance
and leap without relief.Mary had a little mold
whose crust was green as cheese.
Wherever little Mary went
the mold would cause disease.It followed her to work one day
which caused alot of pain,
because the mold began to chew
up Mary's little brain.Mary had a little flask
whose juice was thin as soup,
and everytime she had a drink
it knocked her for a loop.She swallowed some at work one day
and raised alot of glee,
but when she got up off the floor
she found she was at sea.Mary had a little rat
whose teeth were sharp as swords
and every house where Mary stayed
was chewed to a pile of boards.She took the rat to school one day
which was a great mistake,
because the rat got out and burned
the teacher at the stake.Mary had a little lamb
whose fleas were big as rats
and everywhere that Mary went
the fleas would scare the cats.She took the lamb to work one day
which was a great faux pas,
for when the fleas saw Mary's boss
they socked him in the jaw.Mary had a little dog
whose nose was black and green
and everytime she went to school
the dog was cruel and mean, and mean,
the dog was cruel and mean.The dog was very mean and bad,
and that day also hopping mad,
and so he ate the kids at school
and then began to drool, to drool,
and then began to drool.Mary had a little saur
whose nose was three yards long,
and when the beast got out of bed
it sang a saur song.The dinosaur was vexed one day
when Mary went to school,
so he caught the bus to San Jose
and found it wasn't cool,
he really was a fool,
and ate a lunch of grool.Mary had a little dog
who bit and chewed and howled.
So when she had had quite enough
she had him disembowled.Mary had a little shark
whose teeth were very sharp,
but the thing the shark liked most of all
was playing on the harp.He harped aloud a harpers jig
and swam among the trees
but when the dance came to an end
he found he had no knees.Mary had a little ass
from which gas would escape,
so she plugged it with a wooden plug
and sealed it up with tape.The gas built up in Mary
to a very heavy load,
and when she could expand no more
poor Mary did explode.She flew up high into the sky
on a vapor-trail of brown,
and everyone could see her as
she passed right over town.
This page last built using Frontier and a Macintosh by Michael A. Alderete on 10/16/97.
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-- Michael, October 2000