|The Humor Library|
Moses and the Lord
It seems that Moses is sitting in the Egyptian ghetto, things are going terrible: the Pharoah won't even talk to him, the rest of the Hebrews are mad at him for making the overseers even more irritable than usual, etc. He's about ready to give up.
Suddenly a booming, sonorous voice speaks from above:
"YOU, MOSES, HEED ME. I HAVE GOOD NEWS, AND BAD NEWS."
Moses is staggered. The voice continues:
YOU, MOSES, WILL LEAD THE PEOPLE OF ISRAEL FROM BONDAGE. IF THE PHAROAH REFUSES TO RELEASE YOUR BONDS I WILL SMITE EGYPT WITH A RAIN OF FROGS.
YOU, MOSES, WILL LEAD THE PEOPLE OF ISRAEL TO THE PROMISED LAND. IF THE PHAROAH BLOCKS YOUR WAY I WILL SMITE EGYPT WITH A PLAGUE OF LOCUSTS.
YOU, MOSES, WILL LEAD THE PEOPLE TO FREEDOM AND SAFETY. IF THE PHAROAH'S ARMY PURSUES YOU, I WILL PART THE WATERS OF THE RED SEA TO OPEN YOUR PATH TO THE PROMISED LAND."
Moses is stunned. "That's, that's fantastic, I can't believe it!" he stammers, "But...what's the bad news?"
YOU, MOSES, MUST WRITE THE ENVIRONMENTAL IMPACT STATEMENT.
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-- Michael, October 2000