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Punning in a Foreign Language

These are from a New York magazine competition where they asked competitors to change one letter in a familiar non-English phrase and redefine it.

Harlez-vous francais? -- Can you drive a French motorcycle?
Ex post fucto. -- Lost in the mail.
Idios amigos. -- We're wild and crazy guys!

Veni, vipi, vici. -- I came; I'm a very important person; I conquered.
J'y suis, j'y pestes. -- I can stay for the weekend.
Cogito eggo sum. -- I think; therefore, I am a waffle.

Rigor morris. -- The cat is dead.
Repondez s'il vous plaid. -- Honk if you're Scots.
Que sera serf. -- Life is feudal.

Le roi est mort. Jive le roi. -- The king is dead. No kidding.
Posh mortem. -- Death styles of the rich and famous.
Pro bozo publico. -- Support your local clown.

Monage a trois. -- I am three years old.
Pardonnez-mot. -- That wasn't funny. Sorry.
Felix navidad. -- Our cat has a boat.

Haste cuisine. -- Fast French food.
Veni, vidi, vice. -- I came, I saw, I partied.
Quip pro quo. -- A fast retort.

Aloha oy. -- Love; greetings; farewell; from such a pain you should never know.
Mazel ton. -- Lots of luck.
Apres Moe le deluge. -- Larry and Curly get wet.

Porte-kochere -- Sacramental wine.
Ich liebe rich -- I'm really crazy about having dough.
Fui generis -- What's mine is mine.

Visa la france -- Don't leave chateau without it.
Ca va sans dirt -- And that's not gossip.
Merci rien -- Thanks for nothin'.

Amicus puriae. -- Platonic friend.
L'etat, c'est moo. -- I'm bossy around here.
L'etat, c'est Moe. -- All the world's a stooge.

[ The Humor Library ] Foreign Puns
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