|The Humor Library|
Why God Never Got Tenure
Why God Never Received Tenure at Any University:
- He had only one major publication.
- It was in Hebrew.
- It had no references.
- It wasn't published in a refereed journal.
- Some even doubt he wrote it himself.
- It may be true that he created the world, but what has he done since then?
- His cooperative efforts have been quite limited.
- The scientific community has had a hard time replicating his results.
- He never applied to the Ethics Board for permission to use human subjects.
- When one experiment went awry he tried to cover it up by drowning the subjects.
- When subjects didn't behave as predicted, he deleted them from the sample.
- He rarely came to class, just told students to read the Book.
- Some say he had his son teach the class.
- He expelled his first two students for learning.
- Although there were only ten requirements, most students failed his tests.
- His office hours were infrequent and usually held on a mountain top.
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-- Michael, October 2000