The Humor Library

Voicemail for the Insane

RING . . .
RING . . .
CLICK

(endearing recorded voice): "Welcome to the Psychiatric Hotline."

• If you are obsessive-compulsive, please press <1> repeatedly.
• If you are codependent, please ask someone to press <2>.
• If you have multiple personalities, please press <3>,<4>,<5> and <6>.
• If you are paranoid-delusional, we know who you are and what you want. Just stay on the line so we can trace the call.
• If you are schizophrenic, listen carefully and a little voice will tell you which number to press.
• If you are manic-depressive, it doesn't matter which number you press. No one will answer.

IMPORTANT NOTE
This is a dead web site. I have moved my web presence to several different sites:

• Personal Information: http://www.michaelandrochellessite.com/
• Professional Information: http://www.alderete.com/
• Consulting Information: http://www.aldosoft.com/

Please visit me there instead. Thanks!
-- Michael, October 2000