I think where a lot of folks get stuck on the idea of "forgiveness", has a lot to do with what our society has trained us to say as a response - "Oh, that's alright"

Well, some things are NOT alright, and will NEVER be alright, but we can still forgive. In fact, we must!

Forgiving those who "trespass against us" has nothing at all to do with validating their actions. It has everything to do with letting go, inside yourself, of anger, bitterness, fear, and even hatred. But especially, letting go of the hurt and the sorrow.

It does not, ever, mean "it" is alright.

Therefore, we can forgive, certainly, those who will not speak to us, even those that are gone, and will never speak to us again. We can forgive the most heinous wrongs done to us, or our loved ones. Forgiving unties the chains that bind us to the past, and allows us to move forward. To take our lives back, and begin fresh.

If we cling to the hurts of the past, refusing to forgive under the mistaken impression that we are supposed to somehow tell someone that "it's alright" to hurt us, then we are clinging to pain. That person long ago stopped hurting us, but by hanging on to that anger, lust for vengeance, that unforgiving mindset, we re-injure ourselves over, and over, and over. We are literally placing ourselves in bondage. We chain ourselves to the hurt long after the one who has offended against us has gone on their way.

Forgiveness is a gift, a gift freely given, to us by Christ, and by us, to ourselves. We are taught that as we forgive, we shall be forgiven.

Don't be afraid to forgive!

In His Love,

Lisa Alekna

08/13/1999