based on the completely obscure French farce,
"Garcon, une omelette et duex bifteks." (Volume III)

paraphrased by Eric Doyle

It all started in 1984 on the day the television was invented.

     The world was in peril, the city that never slept had woken up, and Canada was being ruled under the iron fist of Tammy Fei. The world needed a hero... in fact, it needed three of them.

     President Clay Whitiker along with the help of the Phantom Foley devised a plan to find three teenagers with attitudes that involved time traveling, skateboarding, and pole vaulting. Thus they found Eric, Matt, and Staff Boy all living in an underwater cave located in the checker board dimension.

     At first Eric, Matt, and Staff Boy didn't want the job, content with their own show, "The Under-Water Variety Hour with Matt, Eric and Staff Boy." But when the the president and the Phantom Foley offered them new reupholstery for their kitchens, they couldn't refuse. Now it was time to put these unlikely heroes into what they deserved... their own show!

     Problems first occured with the name of the show. It had to embody what was best about our country and the world around us. Their first choice was the obvious... "The Joanne Hinley Show" ...but something was missing. The title of "The John Abrashkin Show" came later when Staff Boy was hibernating in a refrigerator and heard Josh Hyman say: " Excellent!?!"

     And so taping of the show began, and with it came the inevitable problems like carbon-copy shortage and long-haired hippie attacks. But the three hosts beared through it all, and with it came the first rockin' episode. Unfortunately, both President Clay Whitiker and the Phantom Foley were never seen again- both disappeared at the premiere of the first show.

     And that is how your favorite show came to be... now you can invite its hosts over so we can have Thanksgiving!

Press articles:
"Daily Hampshire Gazette" article, November 1999
"Modern Sponge Monthly" interview, August 1986