POSSUM STEW

Ma has her own gardening article with recipes. Heck, every hillbilly has his own best recipe, and I would like to share mine with you.
First trap or hunt a possum, the oldest, biggest, toughest one you can find. An old codger makes for the best recipe. After skinning the possum scrape the hide clean of all fat and stretch over a board made just for stretching possum hides.
Remember to follow all safety rules. Don't cut toward your belly, don't cut toward you legs, and don't cut toward your holding hand. Be prepared to kick the heck out of that old redbone hound who will try to get the possum away from you while you are skinning it.
I find that during the time you're skinning and stretching the possum it is a good time to think. While I was working away, I began to wonder about the joke I heard in town.

"A boy and girl from the hills get hitched and go to a motel.  The boy waits impatiently for the girl who's in the bathroom getting into her best nighties.  Then she comes out and crawls into bed. He has a big smile on his eager face and rushes toward the bed. She raises her hand to try and settle him down some and tells him to take it easy on her because she is a virgin. The boy, heartbroken goes over to a chair in the room and starts crying. Then he gets up and drives home to tell his daddy. His daddy tells him, you done the right thing son, if she isn't good enough for her own folk; she's not good enough for ours."

I guess I missed the point of it, well back to the possum. After you have the hide stretched, and the possum set aside, find a bucket without a hole in it and head down to the spring and scoop up some fresh water. You'll need this water later. Set the bucket of water on the stove and let it boil for 5 minutes then remove it to let cool. By now, you have worked up a good appetite.  Throw the possum, except the skin to the dogs. Hang the skin in the shed to cure, then head to town and buy a Big Mac (tm). Upon returning home throw a few ice cubes into the bucket of water to cool it down enough to drink.
Note: do not throw the ice cubes into the water right after boiling, they explode and may put a hole in your tin roof.   Pour your self a glass of cold water and eat the Big Mac.


Wild Possum Kabob

Ingredients:
1 Still breathing, corn-fed Possum
3 Ripe but firm tomatoes
1 Large white or yellow onion
1/2 pound large mushrooms
2 large green peppers
1 package meat marinade
1/2 cup soy sauce
12 skewers (sticks are okay in Arkansas)

Preparation:
The possum must be alive so that you can scare it, giving you the "wild" taste from all the adrenaline it produces. It is best to hit it over the head with a large object in a humane manner. Boil the possum for 3 minutes to loosen the fur then skin and gut it.
De-limb (chop the little knubby legs off) the possum and cut the meat into 1/2 inch square chunks.  Marinate overnight in a mixture of meat marinade and soy sauce. Kentucky residents who have no fridge can use an ice chest and may use radiator coolant instead of soy sauce.  Thread the meat and veggies onto your skewer/stick in alternating sequences to distribute the delicious flavor evenly.  Cook over a barbecue, pit, 50 gallon drum or any other fire till you get the desired result. For added flavor, you can cook it over burning tires.

Servings: 6
Calories: 12,342
Carbs: Holly 4-barrel
Fat: If you eat this kind of crap, fat probably isn't your biggest concern.

 

SQUIRREL PIE

Clean, skin and cut two squirrels into small pieces. Soak in salted water, or water with a little vinegar added, changing water several times. Drain, dry and roll in seasoned flour. Sauté in pork or bacon fat until slightly browned, then place in greased pie dish or bowl, add two cups liquid (made up of wine, cider, beer, crushed fruit , or a little vinegar, and water or stock), salt and pepper, one thinly sliced onion, herbs of your choice. Cover and cook on top stove for 1 1/2, or in moderate oven for two hours. Remove and thicken the stock with a little flour. Take out part of the gravy and add tomatoes, sauce or catsup, to serve with the pie. Meanwhile, cover meat dish with pastry or biscuit dough, slit for steam to escape, and bake for 20 minutes in hot oven


SQUIRREL STEW

2 or 3 squirrels, cut up
1/2 c. flour
1/2 c. cooking oil
salt and red pepper to taste
1 medium onion, chopped
1 small bell pepper, chopped
6 buttons garlic, chopped

In a large iron pot, fry squirrel until golden brown. Remove from pot. Add flour to make roux. Cook until dark, reddish brown. Add vegetables. Cook until onions are clear. Add squirrel and enough water for gravy. Let cook on low for about 2 hours, until gravy is done. Add salt and pepper to taste. Serves
4 to 6.

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