today: 3.6.99
every day

while dispassionately browsing through an adult web site this evening, i began to think about the important contributions i've made to the world so far.


flash-forward about 3 and a half minutes and there i am on my (inherited) Black Leather Eligible Bachelor sofa sobbing, fetal, covered in Mary Jane candies wrappers. an amusing email here and there, a hand-drawn likeness Garfield to satisfy the kids in my 5th grade class, and the occasional air-drops of can goods i run indpendently over the Bangladesh flood plains during monsoon season. you know what it all adds up to? one big, whoop-dee-doo (if this site had sound effects, this is where i would include SFX of that guy from Hee-Haw giving the "raspberry").

that's why i'm giving away all the volumes of my personal memoirs. i've been working on these for most of my cognizant life but it all seems so fruitless and petty now. they might make interesting reading to someone else but for me they are merely a looming reminder that i must constantly view my life in the context of an unknowable universe in elaborate and infinite flux.

here are the different volumes i've written so far. each one is of comparable length (between 50 and 6,200 words) and worth, though i've always been more sentimental for my early years. contact me with requests. in the meantime, know any good adult sites?