My 1997 Christmas Card

December 1999



Seasons' Greetings!

If you come to this page automatically and missed this year's front-page Christmas Card, check it out.... Joel Fauré, the Melancholy Male Model, joins me in wishing you the best of the season.

Joel had a good year....I trademarked him with the U.S. Patent Office, so if you have any plans for a comic character named "Joe Faurer, the Melancholy Male Model," you're out of luck.

1999 is nearly over, and not a moment too soon for me. It's been one of the worst years of my life, due largely to a struggle with my evil agent at ICM Talent.

My evil agent, whom I would certainly never name, lured me with an exclusive contract and the promise of a attentive, cooperative partnership. But when Five George Washingtons didn't sell within the first two months under her care, I found myself tethered exclusively to someone who wouldn't return my phone calls. Her assistant took on a snippy, David Spade-like tone with me. I was not deserving of politeness. I was not easy money.

The publishing house editors I met in connection with the Washingtons were not as nasty, but also not particularly bright, and tended to promise things they had no intention of delivering. You know, I've worked on Wall Street, I've worked in the newspaper and television businesses - all famously the homes of major jerks - but the print publishing industry has me beat. I've never met so many horrid people.

After firing her, I went through a small crisis. Here were people I didn't like and didn't respect telling me my work wasn't good enough to reach an audience, when I knew - from this website, and in my own heart - that it was.

So I did what I probably should have done in the first place...stay entirely electronic.

Therefore, my first gift to you this season: stories downloadable to your Palm Pilot. This month's selection is just a test: I have no Pilot of my own to run these through on, so I'm trusting my faithful readership to give it a spin.

As soon as the Open Electronic Book Format is widely available, I will also format the stories as e-books, suitable for RocketBook, SoftBook, etc. I may not make any money this way, at least not yet, but at least I'll lower my misery index.

My second holiday gift to you this season: TWO new short stories, finishing the Washingtons prologue series: Frederic's story and Veda's story.

I plan to spend my holidays dining out - on the 13th of December, dining at the famous and overtly snobby Nobu - and at home, continuing my very enjoyable study of Danish for an upcoming trip. (Je rejser i Februar til Københaven.) I'll be spending New Year's Eve in the U.S., however, with friends in an abandoned church on Puget Sound.

Merry Christmas, and a very happy New Year.