How to be the Perfect
This was taken from Helen B. Andelin's Fascinating Womanhood, published
by Pacific Press in 1965. The course was designed to teach women how to
be happy in marriage.
- GET YOUR WORK DONE
- Plan your tasks with an eye on the clock. Finish or interrupt them an
hour before he is expected. Your anguished cry, "Are you home already?"
is not exactly a warm welcome.
- HAVE DINNER READY
- Plan ahead, even the night before to have a delicious meal, on time.
This is a way of letting him know that you have been thinking about him
and are concerned about his needs. Most men are hungry when they come
home and the prospects of a good meal are part of the warm welcome needed.
- PREPARE YOURSELF
- Take 15 minutes to rest so you will be refreshed when he arrives. This
will also make you happy to see him instead of too tired to care. Turn
off the worry and be glad to be alive and grateful for the man who is
going to walk in. While you are resting you can be thinking about your
Fascinating Womanhood assignment and all you can do to make him happy
and give his spirits a lift. When you arise, take care of your appearance.
Touch up your makeup, put a ribbon in your hair and be fresh looking.
He has just been with a lot of work-weary people. Be a little gay and
a little more interesting. His boring day may need a lift.
- CLEAR AWAY THE CLUTTER
- Make one last trip through the main part of the house just before your
husband arrives, gathering up school books, toys, paper, etc. in a bucket
or wastebasket and put them in the back bedroom for sorting later. Then
run a dustcloth over the tables. Your husband will feel he has reached
a haven of rest and order and it will give you a lift too. Having the
house in order is another way of letting him know that you care and have
planned for this homecoming.
- PREPARE THE CHILDREN
- Take just a few minutes to wash the children's hands and faces (if they
are small) comb their hair, and if necessary change their clothes. They
are little treasures and he would like to see them look the part.
- MINIMIZE ALL NOISE
- Especially give heed to this if your husband has to join rush hour traffic.
At the time of his arrival eliminate noise of washer, dryer, dishwasher
or vacuum. Try to encourage the children to be quiet at the time of their
father's arrival. Let them be a little noisy beforehand to get it out
of their system.
- BE HAPPY TO SEE HIM
- Greet him with a warm smile and act glad to see him. Tell him that
it is good to have him home. This may make his day worthwhile. If there
is any romance left in you, he needs it now.
- SOME DON'TS
- Don't greet him with problems and complaints. Solve the
problems you can before he gets home and save those you must discuss
with him until later in the evening.
- Also, don't complain if he is late for dinner. Count this
as a minor problem when compared with what he might have gone through
- Don't allow the children to rush at him with problems
or requests. Allow them to briefly greet their father but save demands
- MAKE HIM COMFORTABLE
- Have him lean back into a comfortable chair or suggest he lie down
in the bedroom. Have a cool or warm drink ready for him. Arrange his pillow
and offer to massage his neck and shoulders and take off his shoes. Don't
insist on this however. Turn on music if it is one of his pleasures. Speak
in a soft, soothing, pleasant voice. Allow him to relax - to unwind.
- LISTEN TO HIM
- You may have a dozen things to tell him, but the moment of his arrival
is not the time. Let him talk first, then he will be a more responsive
- MAKE THE EVENING HIS
- Never complain if he does not take you out to dinner or to other places
of entertainment. Instead, try to understand his world of strain and pressure,
his need to be home and to relax. If he is cross or irritable, never fight
back. Again, try to understand his world of strain.
- THE GOAL
- Try to make your home a place of peace and order where your husband
can renew himself in body and spirit. Then add to this the application
of all the principles of Fascinating Womanhood and your husband will
want to come home. He will rather be with you than with anyone else
in the world and will spend whatever time he can possibly spare with you.
Try living all of these rules for his homecoming and see what happens.
This is the way to bring a man home to your side, not by pressure, persuasion
or moral obligation.
Cozy's update of that classic text
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Copyright © 1996 Robert & Cozy Bendesky.
All Rights Reserved.
22 Oct 1996